Who is interested in dating attractive, sensitive and caring Black women?

[Topaze]

Okay back to the original question. Would you date an attractive, sensitive, caring and bright Black woman? Why or why not?

 

Remember we are focusing only on racial differenes not cultural so assume that here upbringing, values and interests are similar to yours. Remember to state your age, where you live and your racial or ethnic background.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Topaze

Okay back to the original question. Would you date an attractive, sensitive, caring and bright Black woman? Why or why not?

 

Remember we are focusing only on racial differenes

in addition to not being attracted to the facial features and hair i hate the way their butts stick out because of the exaggerated curve of the tailbone.

[CurvyGurl]

:: is deeply upset because she thought she had something special with alphamale. *sniff* ::

 

 

 

 

[Topaze]

Alright alpha no need to go into any more detail, I've recorded your vote....no need to make people feel any worse than we do already. There is a fine line between answering a question honestly and being cruel and mean and you have just crossed it. Thank you for your input.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by CurvyGurl

:: is deeply upset because she thought she had something special with alphamale. *sniff* ::

we're friends CURVYGURL, nuthing more nuthin' less

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Topaze

Alright alpha no need to go into any more detail,

sorry, just answering your question TOPAZE. i am known for being brutally honest.

[Topaze]

You had already answered. There was no need to be just plain mean....Thank you for your input. There is no need to provide further input. Thanks.

[CurvyGurl]

Originally posted by Topaze

Alright alpha no need to go into any more detail, I've recorded your vote....no need to make people feel any worse than we do already. There is a fine line between answering a question honestly and being cruel and mean and you have just crossed it. Thank you for your input.

 

 

Awww Alpha is a gentle lamb.....

[Topaze]

Moving right along....

[HokeyReligions]

Originally posted by Topaze

BTW, let me clarify, I am not talking about cultural differences for this thread. Strictly racial differences. The people involved were born and raised in Canada or the US, went to the sames schools, churches, etc. The only difference is race. I should have clarified that at the outset.

 

Race encompasses a lot more than skin color. If I date a black man I can't say I can fully empathize with the 'black experience' because I can't. Our ancestry is very different and no matter how we define ourselves as individuals, we are all products of our ancestors. I can understand logically, I can feel hurt or offended or pride for someone, but if I, a white person, wore a T-shirt that said Black Pride on it, it wouldn't be quite the same. The individuals involved might think so, but friends, family - ancestors- might not be as accepting.

 

There are physical differences in races - facial features, body styles, etc. that are common to individual races. If a person doesn't find some of those features especially attractive they are not likely to date or begin a relationship. That's not racism, that individual taste. Just like some men don't like flat-chested women, or some women don't like bow-legged men, etc. I don't consider it racist if a man, or woman, doesn't find black skin, or white skin, or brown skin, or red skin particularly attractive. Sure there are racists who label everyone with a certain skin color as a certain type of person and don't want to get to know them, but that is their loss.

 

Of course age and geographic location play a big part in what we find attractive. I've lived in several areas of the USA and social tastes and what is found acceptable is very different. I experienced that when I moved from Michigan to Texas. I was an outcast Yankee for a long time here and I know there were some men who wouldn't date a Yank. It wasn't discrimination (as many people thought at the time) but simply a choice.

 

On a side note, this is a public forum and people can answer as much as they want as long as they are within the guidelines.

 

I have not read any cruelty here, just blunt and honest responses and opinions.

[moimeme]

I'm very discriminatory. I'd never date an idiot.

[Topaze]

CurvyGirl, Black women come in all shapes sizes, hair textures, etc. and there is a BROAD range of facial features in the people of the world who are designated as Black. For a man to say that he does not find Black women attractive is just plain racist. There is no way that he has met every Black woman in the world so he is ruling people out on the basis of race SIGHT unseen. It is time we stopped shoving this under the rug of "personal preference" and pretending that it's okay.

[CurvyGurl]

I don't think Alpha is racist. Just blunt and blatantly honest. I'm not attatracted, in the LEAST to men if Middle Eastern, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American descent. I don't think that's racist. I think that's personal preference.

 

I think you're digging for an issue that is not there. If ALpha was racist he would not even talk to me. I don't care that he doesn't want to date a black woman. I don't want to date him either.

 

*shrugs*

[alphamale]

Originally posted by CurvyGurl

I don't want to date him either.

 

*shrugs*

[Mr Spock]

For a man to say that he does not find Black women attractive is just plain racist.

 

I disagree with this statement.

 

 

 

I once met 3 black women on scholarship (basketball) from Detroit. Perhaps because they were 6 feet and over they came off as agressive. "Assertive" maybe. I don't think I've ever heard "eubonics" in person until I met them. I thought two of them were quite pretty. They only danced with black men. I don't know if that's because no white men asked them, or they just preferred to dance with black men.

Watching them dance with their partners (also up on b ball scholarship) was totally fun, they had GREAT rhythm, and were all very good dancers.

 

Rambling. My point is that there are some stereotypes in my last paragraph. But how is it a stereotype when it's REALLY applicable to those individuals? They were black. They had big asses in comparison to the rest of their body. They talked uniquely (as in I axed, not I asked) they had fabulous rhythm and a hair weave. I didn't put these characteristics on them yet they existed. Does it make me racist for noticing these things? I don't think so.

[Topaze]

No one called any names. I wasn't thinking of anyone in particular when I made my post. I was just stating a fact. If Alpah happens to fall into that category, that has nothing to do with me or the facts.

 

Clearly there is an interest in dicussing whether or not dating choices based on race constitute discrimination. That is not really the focus of this thread so let me start a new one. This one seems to keep going off on tangents. Give me a second please.

 

Please check the dating section.

[CurvyGurl]

Originally posted by alphamale

 

 

Oh, now look who' sad......

[CurvyGurl]

You're not going to get a load of people to come in here to tell you what's wrong and why men don't date you. You're not going to get a lod of men to come in here and give you details of why they're attracted to certain people and why, if they HAVE dated black women, won't they date YOU? Been there, done that, I'm now dusting with the tee shirt. You are not going to get a board to tell you why men don't date you. That answer has to come from with in you.

 

Could it be that the men just dont like you? Could it be you give off a vibe that no man, black, white, asian, what have you, would be interested?

 

For me, when things end up the same way, every time, no matter who I date, there is is but one logical common denominator and that is ME. That is when I start to look at myself and ask 'If I were a man, would I date me?" More often than not the answer is no.

 

Topaze, you're asking an AWFUL lot of white men to be ok with dating a black woman. They really have to be ok with crossing cultural boundaries and many just are not. You've GOT to accept that and move on without calling them racist. IT's a preference that they just cannot ( or are extremely unwilling) to change.

[Topaze]

Curvy Girl:

 

Please continue this branch of the discussion here:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=58769

 

I will respond there.

 

I want to keep this thread on track.

 

Thanks.

[Topaze]

But how is it a stereotype when it's REALLY applicable to those individuals? They were black. They had big asses in comparison to the rest of their body. They talked uniquely (as in I axed, not I asked) they had fabulous rhythm and a hair weave. I didn't put these characteristics on them yet they existed. Does it make me racist for noticing these things? I don't think so.

 

You are missing my point. No one is talking about meeting specific individuals and determining whether or not you find these individuals attractive and appealing or feel you would be compatible with them. If you met 3 specific Black women and did not find those individuals appealing, that is not racial discrimination. Not all Black women are over 6' tall.....some White women are over 6' tall....some Black women are slim and petite. Some are of medium build and some are heavy. If, however, based on meeting those 3 individuals you were then to generalize and rule out all Black women, that would absolutely be racial discrimination.

 

What I am asking here is whether or not you would be open to dating a Black woman who is attractive, has all the other qualities you are looking for in a partner and with whom there are no cultural differences? (We can discuss cultural differences another time in anther thread if this topic is of interest). If you would rule out a Black woman based strictly on her race, please break it down for me....why?

[Topaze]

Well so far, the consensus seems to be that men who aren't Black don't find Black women attractive. There have been a few exceptions in the responses but, by and large that is what I gather.

 

The reason that I opened this thread was that I was trying to prove a point to a couple of people and you have helped me make my point. To all who posted a response, thank you for your assistance.

[SleepingLover]

I like black women

 

I had dated a black girl in high school for awhile

 

I have dated women of many races...black, white, asian, hispanic and my ex-wife who is American Indian.

 

I, myself, fall under the "other" category, though, since I'm mixed. I'm of Dutch/German/Mohawk Indian descent.. my father is Mohawk Indian/Dutch and mother is German.

[SleepingLover]

I can kinda see Alpha and CurvyGirl's points, though, in that I am not attracted to heavy women. Some men are. I have tried and dated a few but something just doesn't click.. no sexual magnetism I guess. I'm also not attracted to very thin women. I tend to fall more for women whom have curvy large hips and small waists... breast size doesn't seem to matter much as long as they don't have a hairy chest heheh. I also like a pretty face, not specifically attributed to ceratin facial features ...just a pretty face. Not attracted to women with deep voices either...especially deeper than my own! LMAO!

 

So, I can see where the preference thing doesn't necessarily meet the criteria for discrimination. There may be certain features of a race that may not be attractive to some women and men. As for me, if they are pretty have curvy big hips (a big butt is ok too ...not huge though!), pretty face and are feminine...shesshhh call me right now! I don't care what color your skin is.

[Nostalgic]

Originally posted by Topaze

Well so far, the consensus seems to be that men who aren't Black don't find Black women attractive. There have been a few exceptions in the responses but, by and large that is what I gather.

 

The reason that I opened this thread was that I was trying to prove a point to a couple of people and you have helped me make my point. To all who posted a response, thank you for your assistance.

 

 

 

May be true from the guys that answered here but from first hand experience, I can tell you that is NOT true in general.

 

I gotta tell you hon, its been paining me to read your posts. You sound sooo desperate for someone non-black to date date you. Almost like you're pleading, "I know I'm a black woman, but would date me? Would you date me? I'm a really great person, please, would you date me???". Really dont wanna be rude, but I'm trying to wake you up girl, it's borderline pathetic.

 

I hate these kinds of threads. It seems like the poster is attempting to validate not only herself but her whole friggin demographic (which I happen to be a part of ) based on the opinions of people on a message board(wtf). Getting advice is one thing, but you really seem to be taking what these guys say to heart. They dont know you, you dont know them and they are not the only guys in the world.

 

Look, location is key. You probably live in a place where ppl are not as used to black ppl, therefore not that open to mixing races when it comes to romance. But that doesn't mean that YOU or all black women are any less desirable or at any sort of disadvantage. That just happens to be the situation there. Where I went to HS, it was mostly black and hispanic and only 2% white. Guess what? The white--(gasp) yes I said white girls and guys especially, had a very difficult time attracting others outside their race. And most of them were actually quite attractive in my opinion. See there wasnt anything wrong with them, that was just the situation. Location, Location, Location!!

 

I would hate for your town to totally drain your self-esteem. If you cant relocate all together at least travel once in a while. Come on over to NYC for example. If walking through the streets of manhattan doesn't change this negative perception you have about black women being disadvantaged for dating, nothing will.

 

Good luck

[Topaze]

Excellent points Nostalgic. Thank you for sharing them. Perhaps there are places in the US where the demographics are better.....more Black men......more men of other races open to dating Black women. Certainly, the challenges that Black women encounter in this area are also found in some other areas. The key is to find the right location. Any suggestions?