Trying to pick up a girl who works in a bikini store

[Wordguy]

Hi,

 

I've recently started a new job in an office tower that has a mall underneath it. I spend many of my lunches walking around. Recently, I came upon this beautiful brunette who works in a bikini store. She is tall (over 6 feet), thin, just plain gorgeous. I've never tried to pick up a stranger like this,so I thought about what would be a good disarming kind of way to introduce myself and not seem like a freak.

I so happened to be looking for place to get a button sewn on my jacket when I noticed her walking in the mall. I approached her and said: "Excuse me, do you know a place where I can get a button sewn on my jacket?". She responded with a smile and gave me directions to a dry cleaners. I thanked her and said "see you around." She said.."ok, no problem. bye" and walked back into her store.

 

My plan is to approach her over the next couple of days and thank her for the directions. Then, I will ask her for her name and phone number/email address.

 

What do you think of this approach?

[Donut]

Thank her for the directions, say you've noticed her around and ask her out on a date.

 

Simple.

[Screenplay]

Well, you have the right idea, but I do have a couple suggestions.

 

Firstly, timeframe is important, if you asked her for those directions on Friday I wouldnt wait longer than Tuesday to continue your approach. However, I wouldnt start things up again the very next day (which it sounds like you havent anyway).

 

Secondly, develop some rapport before you even think about exchanging contact info. You have your "in, so to speak (Thanking her for the directions). Be yourself obviously, but try to find some common ground to talk about and get a decent conversation going. The better the conversation, the more you have in your favor.

 

Be sure to watch her body language (subtly, mind you) as you do all of this. If she hangs on your every word, stays in eye contact, smiles a lot, youre getting good signs. If the conversation is going good and its come down to exchanging information youll have to decide whether you want to ask her for hers, or if you want to give her yours. Being as you are both strangers to each other despite the conversation she may hesitate to give you her number. Instead, you giving her your number places the ball in her court and takes the pressure off. This decision is largely based around how well the conversation goes, if she looks comfortable around you chances are she wont worry too much about giving you her number. Likewise, if the conversation didn't go too well you can always give her yours. If the conversation is on the fence between the two you can always ask her for her number and also mention instead that you can give her yours, giving her the choice between the two. This is the hardest route though, as itll take your skills as a conversationalist to make sure it comes across as cool and confident rather than meek and unsure.

 

Just my 0.02.

[Wordguy]

Thanks. I'll try on Monday or Tuesday to approach her and offer my thanks and take it from there. I think the trick is to not come across too desperate or to frighten her off. Building rapport & trust as you've suggested is key. I'll thank her, pay her some compliments, say I've been noticing you around etc..then if things go well, ask her for her number or even a date.

 

It's tough though as a man, to walk into a bikini store without having the intention to buy a bikini, to be perceived as anything other than trying to hit on the staff(unless I lie and say I'm buying for my niece or something). I'll have to be friendly and casually walk by and if she is working, act surprised and pop in and talk to her.

 

 

Fortune rewards the bold, I say!

[Wordguy]

So I went into the store again today. It was a perfect opportunity for me to

come in as she was all alone and looking sexy. She had these nice tight

jeans on, black top AND knee-high black boots. Suffice to say, I was

floored. I walked in, said hi and she asked me if I wanted to pick up my

son's swimming trunks. We walked over to the men's rack. She explained the sizes

and styles. I told her my size. I chose one and then we chatted.

 

She asked me where I was going. I told her Mexico. I said I was taking JUST

my son to Tulum to see the ruins. I asked her if she's ever been and she

hasn't. She said she hears all about people's vacations in her job. I asked

her for her name. "Anna". I'm *****. Nice to meet you. We shook hands. I

asked her how long she has been working here. She said a year. "Do you like

it?" "Yeah, the girls here are all very close together." I told her how I

had just started working here in the Exchange Tower. "There's lots to do

here...the food courts are good, blah, blah. " Then, the moment of truth.

Would you like to go out sometime? She bowed her head shyly and said that

she was really flattered but she was kinda with someone right now. Then, I

asked her if she wanted to exchange email address' and she said that she

didn't think her boyfriend would like it if she talked with another guy. I

then said that I figured that a " pretty girl like you would be with

someone." And she also said that she was flattered and that I seem like a

nice guy. I said, " ok, I won't bother you then." Then said, well I might

as well pay for this now.

 

We chatted some more at the cash register. She asked me if I worked in the

area and I told her I used to work in *****. I liked it here, the bars

and restaurants were cool. She said, " Come back around sometime". Later the same day, I'm walking by her store on my way to the subway and our eyes meet. She sees me waves and comes out to see me. "Are you going home?" she asks. We walk together for 5 minutes and I tell her that I'll drop by sometime and say hi'. She smiles, blushes and says ok.

 

I guess I'm feeling pretty good about my chances even though she has a boyfriend. She seems interested.

 

What do you think? Am I delusional? Or do you see some signs of interest here ? Any ideas on next moves?

[GirlDown]

i think your approach was good, your intentions were clear, and she was in fact flattered.

 

but since she did say she had a boyfriend, your best bet is to leave things as they are. even if she does seem to get more interested, don't cross the line.

 

you already proved you character, and ignoring her current situation would defame it. she knows you were interested, she thinks you're a nice guy, she liked the attention, and she talked to you again when the opportunity arose.

 

i would chalk it up to just that until something maybe happens with her and her boyfriend. she knows you're available, and the choice is up to her.

[Donut]

Yep, while she has a bf she is a no go area. Be friendly still and say hi and make small talk by all means, but leave it at that.

 

She'll think you're a creep if you come onto her while she has a bf. Her impression of you is now good, so don't spoil it.

[whichwayisup]

I agree with Donut. Be friendly, be casual...And if she does end up asking you out, just gracefully say you would love to go out with her, but not until she is single. That you do not date other women while they are involved already. She will respect you more...And if things are not too s*** hot with the bf, then maybe that will peak her attention more towards you.

 

Good luck Wordguy!

[Wordguy]

Thanks you three. I was hoping to get a woman's perspective on how to proceed and you've given me that. I'll wait a week before dropping by the store and then stop in to say hi. I won't ask her out again until she breaks up with her boyfriend. I really get this feeling there's some energy between us though so I'm optimistic. I'll be friendly and 'there' but nothing more until she makes a move.

 

It's so nice to have a crush on someone again.

[joel]

i don't now from reading ur quote seems like u asked her out way too fast. maybe u shouyld have had more rapport after like 2 wks then go ask her out. who nows she might think ur a creep or something. i ask gal out before like that too fast and its like i got NO

 

Originally posted by Wordguy

So I went into the store again today. It was a perfect opportunity for me to

come in as she was all alone and looking sexy. She had these nice tight

jeans on, black top AND knee-high black boots. Suffice to say, I was

floored. I walked in, said hi and she asked me if I wanted to pick up my

son's swimming trunks. We walked over to the men's rack. She explained the sizes

and styles. I told her my size. I chose one and then we chatted.

 

She asked me where I was going. I told her Mexico. I said I was taking JUST

my son to Tulum to see the ruins. I asked her if she's ever been and she

hasn't. She said she hears all about people's vacations in her job. I asked

her for her name. "Anna". I'm *****. Nice to meet you. We shook hands. I

asked her how long she has been working here. She said a year. "Do you like

it?" "Yeah, the girls here are all very close together." I told her how I

had just started working here in the Exchange Tower. "There's lots to do

here...the food courts are good, blah, blah. " Then, the moment of truth.

Would you like to go out sometime? She bowed her head shyly and said that

she was really flattered but she was kinda with someone right now. Then, I

asked her if she wanted to exchange email address' and she said that she

didn't think her boyfriend would like it if she talked with another guy. I

then said that I figured that a " pretty girl like you would be with

someone." And she also said that she was flattered and that I seem like a

nice guy. I said, " ok, I won't bother you then." Then said, well I might

as well pay for this now.

 

We chatted some more at the cash register. She asked me if I worked in the

area and I told her I used to work in *****. I liked it here, the bars

and restaurants were cool. She said, " Come back around sometime". Later the same day, I'm walking by her store on my way to the subway and our eyes meet. She sees me waves and comes out to see me. "Are you going home?" she asks. We walk together for 5 minutes and I tell her that I'll drop by sometime and say hi'. She smiles, blushes and says ok.

 

I guess I'm feeling pretty good about my chances even though she has a boyfriend. She seems interested.

 

What do you think? Am I delusional? Or do you see some signs of interest here ? Any ideas on next moves?

[GirlDown]

Originally posted by joel

i don't now from reading ur quote seems like u asked her out way too fast. maybe u shouyld have had more rapport after like 2 wks then go ask her out. who nows she might think ur a creep or something. i ask gal out before like that too fast and its like i got NO

 

 

i don't think he asked her out too soon, it seemed like she would have said yes immediatey if she didn't have a boyfriend.

[Sukotto]

Only thing I would have done different is after she said she doesn't think her boyfriend would approve would have said thats fine and gave her your email address and said something like "in case you change your mind". Apart from that you done great and dont get down about the fact she said no. Many of my friends get upset when a girl isn't interested and it shakes their confidence.

[GirlDown]

Originally posted by Sukotto

Only thing I would have done different is after she said she doesn't think her boyfriend would approve would have said thats fine and gave her your email address and said something like "in case you change your mind". Apart from that you done great and dont get down about the fact she said no. Many of my friends get upset when a girl isn't interested and it shakes their confidence.

 

 

ohhhhh, but she was interested...she just had enough sense to remember she had a boyfriend...and had enough guts (or gall, maybe! ) to keep this guy interested, too...

 

 

hey, if they break up, you know where she's running...not sure how you feel about that though...

[Wordguy]

I may be biased, but I have to agree with GirlDown, joel. She is interested.

 

Otherwise why would she ask me to come back?

Why would she come out of the store to see me and walk me to the subway?

Why would she smile that lovesick smile at me?

Why would she ask me if I was going home? Was she sad to see me go maybe?

Why would she ask me 3x when I was leaving for my 'trip'?

Why would she blush?

 

I've been with girls who had boyfriends before who's ideals & loyalty crumbled once they realized how I offered than there current man. So this gives me hope.

 

I guess I also take solice in the fact that she never really said no. She just said she was with someone and that he wouldn't be happy about it. She never said she wasn't interested.

 

I have a plan and if it takes some time to get the desired result I will wait. She is worth it.

 

If there is an attraction on her part, it may just force her to see how she really feels about her boyfriend.

[amerikajin]

I guess I'm feeling pretty good about my chances even though she has a boyfriend. She seems interested

 

Dude, you pretty much made the right moves here. The only thing I wouldn't have done is asked her out on a date. You said "WOULD you like to go out sometime?". Next time you see a hot chick, say, I've been wanting to ____________ for a while, I was thinking maybe you could join me (or something along those lines). It's subtle, but the impression you give is different. Point being, you're not asking her like a lot of other guys are, you're just suggesting. If she's as hot as you say she is, she's used to men asking - even begging - her to go out. But even so, I think you must have still given off the confident vibes. Otherwise, she wouldn't be showing those signs of interest. My point is, don't put this chick on a pedestal. Be funny, confident, yourself. And maybe work on making her chase you a little.

 

Don't bring up her boyfriend or dating again. If she's interested in you, she'll bring up the subject herself in her own way.

[browneyes22]

Wordman...keep us posted on this one. I am in a similar situation myself.

 

I think the best thing for you to do right now is to develop even more of a rapport than you already have. Don't drop off of her radar if you know what I mean. And I agree with the above comments. If you do ask her out again (which isn't a crime if she is too shy to ask you out) perhaps a less vague proposition will work better. And I do believe she will let you know in her own way when it's ok to ask her out again (also stated above).

 

Good luck man!

[Wordguy]

In the spirit of 'building rapport' and 'keeping me on her radar' I dropped by her store today on my way home. Unfortunately she was with a customer so we didn't chat for long. Just an exchange of smiles, hellos and how was your Easter weekends, basically. She did look happy to see me. And did abandon her customer to speak to me so that felt nice. I didn't want to make her appear rude or get in trouble so I left though. Bad timing. I'll try and catch her when she's not busy later in the week...

 

"Yes time, time, time is on my side, yes it is "

[ttjames]

"Yes time, time, time is on my side, yes it is "

 

 

lol..

 

This just reminds me of a post I read a while back about men/guy friends being sharks.... just waiting for their prey to fall out of the boat....

[Donut]

I worry that you're concentrating to much on winning her over now. Meet other girls who ARE available and go on dates with them, please!

 

She has a BF!, don't deliberately seek her out all the time to "build rapport". From her POV it may just be a little harmless flirting, nothing more.

 

If you bump into her, fine, but don't do this to yourself. I wonder if you "got" her would the challenge be over for you?

[browneyes22]

Originally posted by Donut

I worry that you're concentrating to much on winning her over now. Meet other girls who ARE available and go on dates with them, please!

 

Of course, you are absolutely correct. I should have said this myself.

 

She has a BF!, don't deliberately seek her out all the time to "build rapport". From her POV it may just be a little harmless flirting, nothing more.

 

If you bump into her, fine, but don't do this to yourself. I wonder if you "got" her would the challenge be over for you?

 

What I meant by building a rapport was just harmless chit-chat about things...you know, normal conversations. Doing this he can feel out when the time is right to ask her out, if it seems right at all. And unless he meets another girl that makes him totally forget about this bikini store babe, he should develop a rapport, 'cause one day you never know.

[Donut]

Deliberately seeking her to build rapport and harmless chit chat when he bumps into her are two seperate things.

 

If it was me and the guy knew I had a bf, a little and I mean a little harmless chit chat and the tiniest bit of flirting is ok if we bump into each other, it makes the day go quicker after all! That is the perfect one day, you never know scenario, no pressure!

 

But IMHO after a while if he keeps deliberately coming into my bikini store (guys don't regularly go into bikini stores do they?), speaking to me and coming on to me I'd get spooked, thinking he hasn't listened cos HELLO I've got a bf! If I can feel he's biding his time, saying the right things when I haven't asked him to, just to be with me at some point, well, it comes off as desperate. Part of me would be thinking he's deliberately trying to split me and my bf up. And in all honesty I'd probably laugh about him with my bf and with my colleagues, "saying here he comes again!, oh no".

 

Or she may fall in love with him and dump her bf for him, just like in the fairytales, but I seriously doubt it.

 

Sorry, but that's my $0.02.

[amerikajin]

I'm changing my mind and going with Donut on this one. I think she's right: it's okay to pop in maybe once in a while if you're in the area, but I certainly wouldn't make it a point to see someone who already has a boyfriend, even if she is nice to you. The ugly truth is, some women (and men) just get a kick out of watching others fawn over them - an ego trip, you might say.

 

You've got to make her chase you at this point, and that'll be your ultimate test to see whether or not she really digs you. If she does, and if she knows where you work or can be found, she might very well show up. But I'd move on - there have to be a lot of other hot babes out there.

[LittleMiss]

Originally posted by Wordguy

 

"Yes time, time, time is on my side, yes it is "

 

damn Time Warner commercials! Those are already getting on my nerves.

[browneyes22]

If I do recall from what Wordguy wrote, she seemed a little more interested than just being flattered by his advances. This is why I think keeping in touch with her is a good idea, whether you have to talk to her in a bikini shop or not.

 

Perhaps I didn't make it clear before but this is what I would do. First and foremost, I would keep my options open to dating whomever else peaks my interest. During this same time I would stop by and say hello to my new friend at the bikini store (not every day, maybe once every few weeks or so). Of course, stopping by the bikini store would get old after a while. But if there is any interest from her part, something may follow beyond him visiting her at work. This is what I was getting at.

 

Donut...something tells me if a guy you were really attracted to (more so than your current boyfriend) showed you attention you wouldn't get upset at all.

 

Of course I ask out girls that I'm attracted to. If they turn out to have a boyfriend, yet still seem to be attracted to me I don't feel bad in keeping my options open with them. A girl saying "I have a boyfriend" is a very vague statement. First off, they could be flat out lying. But if they do in fact have a boyfriend, and are attracted to you at the same time then the relationship is probably not very strong. My feeling is that women ultimately have the power to do what they want, and flirting with other men while in an un-serious relationship should be exptected. And the ones that know what they want won't let a good thing slip through there fingers.

 

If a girl is engaged or married then they are off limits.

 

Don't give-up wordguy. But try to date others.

[Wordguy]

First off...this isn't just me walking into a bikini store and harassing some poor girl. She has already CLEARLY indicated interest in me. We seem to like eachother. And just because she says she has a boyfriend doesn't mean I have to stop flirting or saying hello once in a while and keep me in her thoughts.... I pass by her work every day on the way to the subway and it's easy for us to 'run into eachother' so it seems kinda natural really, not forced. I would know if she was putting off those 'stay away vibes' and these aren't those.

 

She has already chased me once too if you recall. She came out of the store to see me. By me just dropping by to say hi was just keeping my word on what I said I would do. We'll see what happens though. I'm a patient and selective man. This woman is girlfriend material, not simply a chase.

 

And yes, I am keeping my eye open for anyone else who catches my fancy. But for now, she is at the top of the list. She is seriously hot!

 

Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement everyone!