Husband comes to visit during the separation...what does this mean?

[sjs61]

First of all, to those who hates those who write so long and sounds so confusing well, I am one of them. I am confused about my husband's intentions during our separation.

 

Quick overview:

Married almost 4 yrs and been together 14 yrs. No children except for my son from a previous man. We had a child but it died. He's into drugs. He has an anger problem which could be from the drugs. He's abusive but I am too as well. I don't do drugs nor drink. He has a very low self-esteem and comes from a dsyfunctional family. I come from a middle class family with issues as well.

 

Our traumatic issues:

1. He was almost killed in a car accident on April 18, 2003.

2. I was informed I may have Cancer on August 21, 2001 which I am still going through checkups for it.

3. My son joins the military on August 18, 2003 and than was informed he will be going to Iraq.

4. His favorite Uncle died November 2004.

5. His mom has lung problems which she now uses a ventilator. Her health isn't good.

6. I was informed that I was raped at age 6, but I didn't know until I was told on June 21, 2003, which I was 42 when told.

7. We had to file bankruptcy cause he lost his job.

 

My questions:

1. He wants me to divorce him why is it I have to be the one to file the divorce?

2. He wants the divorce but he comes to visit?

3. Is all this part of the abuse?

4. What should I do?

5. If he's the one that wants a divorce why doesn't he go and file for it?

6. Is it possible he's just saying that out of pity or feeling sorry for himself?

 

I need all the support and advice and/or lectures. I know a lot will say to divorce but I still love him. I know he loves me even if he says he doesn't cause I can see it in his eyes and voice. I know the drugs are the basis of his problems but I need to give him tough love. Be honest to those who read my long post and I am sorry to have bored you. I know many will say its blind love but my vows states for better and worse..

Please assist me if possible. Thank you

[RowanRavyn]

If you guys are having sex when he "visits" he may just be coming booty call.

 

My guess is if YOU file for divorce then he will be able to say "She divorced me".