Alright, ladies. How many of you prefer the man to approach first?

[MrNate 2.0]

So in another thread, I'm having to convince some people that women prefer to be approached because it makes them feel feminine. I didn't think I needed to explain this.

 

 

Do you fall in this category? If so you can like this post or simply reply with "aye" followed by my signature cool smiley (or the heart one if you love me.)

[cocorico]

So in another thread, I'm having to convince some people that women prefer to be approached because it makes them feel feminine. I didn't think I needed to explain this.

 

 

Do you fall in this category? If so you can like this post or simply reply with "aye" followed by my signature cool smiley (or the heart one if you love me.)

 

Nope. Big turn off. I am not some product sitting on a supermarket shelf among other products waiting for some consumer to choose me. If I'm interested, I'll say so. If I've said nothing, I'm not interested.

[Toodaloo]

Yep!

 

I have no clue if you fancy me unless you say so!

 

In fact I have had massive rows about this... I think the thread was "who should ask who"...

 

Up shot is if you like what you see you should go for it regardless of gender.

 

I still prefer a guy to ask... Makes them look "macho" in my eyes even if I do turn them down...

[ComingInHot]

If you don't approach me how am I supposed to know you want to talk to me(or sleep with me whichever. I'm still trying to figure you men out*)?

 

When I am out with friends, I am out with friends, not 'on the hunt for a man'. I think that is why I am so pleasantly surprised and flattered when I am approached. I know how much courage (liquid or no) that takes and if anything, I love a good conversation.

 

Honestly, I don't think I would have ever had a date if a man hadn't asked...

[AD1980]

But in another thread last night men were told too only approach if the women shows signs of interest first.

 

So for men like me who aren't attractive and that never happens to I'm screwed

[Frank2thepoint]

I have no clue if you fancy me unless you say so!

 

If you don't approach me how am I supposed to know you want to talk to me(or sleep with me whichever. I'm still trying to figure you men out*)?

 

As a man, I can use the same argument. For a man that has no problem asking out a woman, such as myself, how is he supposed to know you fancy him so he can do the asking?

[somedude81]

As a man, I can use the same argument. For a man that has no problem asking out a woman, such as myself, how is he supposed to know you fancy him so he can do the asking?

 

Seconded.

 

I have no problem asking out women but I can't tell when women want me to ask them out.

[Toodaloo]

As a man, I can use the same argument. For a man that has no problem asking out a woman, such as myself, how is he supposed to know you fancy him so he can do the asking?

 

I will be smiling at you and staring at your arse... then when you notice I am checking you out I will be blushing and looking away like a teenager... Either that or simply undressing you with my eyes... Depends on consumption of brandy...

 

To be honest most women notice men and are checking them out for much longer than it takes the guy to notice them... So if she smiles at you go for it. You may get turned down every now and then but we will still think your great for asking!!! So win win all round.

 

If she hasn't smiled or stared at you don't go there.

[Keenly]

I think the term " approach " needs a hard and fast definition.

 

 

 

Some would say an approach is asking some one out.

 

 

Others.might say an approach is simply starting a fun and enjoyable.conversation.

 

 

 

 

What constitutes an approach?

[PJKino]

Only attractive men are given signals most of the time so what are average or unattractive dudes who never get signals supposed to do?

[Toodaloo]

Approach is as you suggest - checking the situation to see if a request for a date would be appropriate... if she is smiling, looking at your buns while she thinks your not looking etc approach... if she has not "connected" non verbally with you at all or has scowled at you do not go there. If you need to check and it is appropriate just say excuse me and walk past so she has to look at you. If she smiles, go get a drink or what ever and go back say hello - if she looks away and down with a frown on her face (her body will freeze as you go by) she doesn't want you near her. If the smile is there and she holds her breath she is shy so will take some work...

 

Asking for the date is asking the question... if you want to know how to know if its a good idea and your likely to get a positive response I will be talking to you a lot. Others will come and go and I will not notice. I will also be touching your arm and looking at you a lot... I might fiddle with my hair or put my hand on my chest, smooth down my trousers/ skirt (trying to make my self look a bit tidier and better than I know I probably do). Killer with me is when I take my glasses off. I am blind as a bat so it makes me vulnerable but I will do it because I want you see see how pretty my eyes are...

 

P.S. Do not pass any of this information on to a-holes please!!!

[Rejected Rosebud]

Yes, I prefer a man to approach. I am shy and if he didn't, I would always be alone. I know a shy woman has an advantage over a shy man in this respect.

 

Only attractive men are given signals most of the time so what are average or unattractive dudes who never get signals supposed to do?

 

I think a guy who approaches a girl who is not even looking at him and who looks like she is on a mission is setting himself up to be rejected so it would be better to pay attention to see if she looks open to it, if it will hurt your feelings to be rejected.

 

I have no problem asking out women but I can't tell when women want me to ask them out.

 

I think you can get better at learning social cues in non-dating social situations. Or if you don't care to learn just keep asking anybody out and don't be upset when you get rejected. There really is nothing wrong with asking out a girl who is not open to it or even might be pissed - you just need to be fine with all that and move right on.

Edited October 31, 2014 by Rejected Rosebud

[Toodaloo]

Only attractive men are given signals most of the time so what are average or unattractive dudes who never get signals supposed to do?

 

Let them see what makes you attractive...

 

Your looks actually count for sod all when it comes to pulling women. Women simply do not think in the same way as men.

 

You will be attractive if you are confident, laughing, making others laugh and enjoying yourself... Trust me on this one. The good looking guys often get passed over simply because they are good looking. If you are confident then you actually have a far better chance than they do...

 

Read any of the threads about looks etc and see what the other women say... Its very few who are attracted to looks, they are attracted to confidence and/or a specific (nice eyes etc). So look at yourself which bits are good make those stand out and smile. It really is that simple.

[Keenly]

Only attractive men are given signals most of the time so what are average or unattractive dudes who never get signals supposed to do?

 

If you can make a girl laugh, your attractiveness increases.

 

 

 

So moon her and see what happens haha.

[Frank2thepoint]

I will be smiling at you and staring at your arse... then when you notice I am checking you out I will be blushing and looking away like a teenager... Either that or simply undressing you with my eyes... Depends on consumption of brandy...

 

Only attractive men are given signals most of the time so what are average or unattractive dudes who never get signals supposed to do?

 

Your looks actually count for sod all when it comes to pulling women. Women simply do not think in the same way as men.

 

Toodaloo, you just basically expressed what PJKino mentioned, then quickly denied it. So women do think the same way as men, concerning physical looks. Confidence comes after the looks. So at a base level, the woman has to be attracted to the guy before anything happens at all. This is completely of out the hands of the man.

[PJKino]

Let them see what makes you attractive...

 

Your looks actually count for sod all when it comes to pulling women. Women simply do not think in the same way as men.

 

You will be attractive if you are confident, laughing, making others laugh and enjoying yourself... Trust me on this one. The good looking guys often get passed over simply because they are good looking. If you are confident then you actually have a far better chance than they do...

 

Read any of the threads about looks etc and see what the other women say... Its very few who are attracted to looks, they are attracted to confidence and/or a specific (nice eyes etc). So look at yourself which bits are good make those stand out and smile. It really is that simple.

 

Lol c'mon looks have a lot to do with it

[Toodaloo]

Toodaloo, you just basically expressed what PJKino mentioned, then quickly denied it. So women do think the same way as men, concerning physical looks. Confidence comes after the looks. So at a base level, the woman has to be attracted to the guy before anything happens at all. This is completely of out the hands of the man.

 

Nope. Its all wrong. You have misinterpreted what I am trying to tell you.

 

The good looking guy in the corner being the wall flower will be over looked time and time again. He isn't going to get dates.

 

The ugly chap in the thick of a group causing them all to laugh will have all eyes on him. He will be a magnet to females.

 

For women confidence is good looks. I know that will not make sense to you until you think about it for a while... but its true.

 

Trust me on this.

 

If you are confident in your skin you will be "good looking" even if you don't think you are... there are very few women who go by looks alone, every second she will be watching your body language and in a few seconds she will pick out confident or not confident, thats before she has registered your looks.

 

There are very few women who would really notice a good looking chap unless his body language is "right". The vast majority of women go for body language THEN looks. The beauty of it is that once she has assessed you as "confident" she will then find the good looking bits and those will make you good looking to her. They will search for something in your look that is attractive to them. If your body language is good, your looks automatically shoot straight up regardless because everyone has something nice about them and she will find it herself (she will actually look for it herself if you are confident) if you just let her see it. Nice eyes? draw attention to them, firm stomach? draw attention to it...

 

Guys sort out your body language and be confident in yourselves and you will be considered attractive and good looking regardless of how you actually look!

[Toodaloo]

Toodaloo, you just basically expressed what PJKino mentioned, then quickly denied it. So women do think the same way as men, concerning physical looks.

 

Ok I re read and see what you mean... its doesn't read well.

 

The good looking guy with no confidence in the corner will be over looked not only that but because he isn't comfortable with himself women will pick up on it and find whats "wrong" so a slightly bigger than average nose becomes a massive conk. Thus he becomes ugly in the womans mind...

 

If you have crooked teeth and are laughing and smiling and not bothered by them they become cute within seconds. Thus your "bad ugly" bits become good looking sexy bits...

 

A womans mind will see the image you are projecting of yourself.

 

Does that make sense?

 

This is really off topic and hijacking MrNates thread... if you want to discuss further I am happy to else where so MrNate can have his thread back...

Edited October 31, 2014 by Toodaloo
Went off topic...

[MrNate 2.0]

I think the term " approach " needs a hard and fast definition.

 

 

 

Some would say an approach is asking some one out.

 

 

Others.might say an approach is simply starting a fun and enjoyable.conversation.

 

 

 

 

What constitutes an approach?

 

Well a combination of both.

 

Having a fun, enjoyable conversation with someone you're interested in getting to know better then asking her out if you two seem to click.

[ComingInHot]

As a man, I can use the same argument. For a man that has no problem asking out a woman, such as myself, how is he supposed to know you fancy him so he can do the asking?

 

Well Yeah but You're the one God gave balls too... hehe*

[newmoon]

yep, love a guy who can handle being the man. after many bad lessons being the approacher i have learned and now only wait to be approached. let the man be the man. there is nothing wrong with being a very strong and aggressive partner, but only after he has done the initial work. it does make me feel feminine and probably makes the guy feel great too. why take that away from a guy by doing it myself?

[preraph]

I like a confident guy not afraid to act. That being said, I don't really care if they approach me first because I will find a good reason to talk to someone I really want to talk to. If they don't pick the ball up and run, well, that's not good because I'm not going to pull the actual trigger and do all the work. But I will make sure I'm around whoever it is I'm wanting to talk to and then see if they respond. That isn't a one-day project, you understand. My best luck with guys is with ones I've talked to quite a bit who share common interests and begin to respect me and like to talk to me because of that.

[No Limit]

Pretty much. First step goes to the guy. It's not that hard actually, that one guy in Starbucks was pretty smooth (we were just smalltalking though), and that one guy that even walked after me had a longer chat with me.

A real shame I'm moving 70 miles away. *sigh

[MrNate 2.0]

As the numbers come rolling in, I think we have a winner....