I'm sick and tire of not having a GF

[Ready2DateAgain]

I'm in my early 30's and I see all my friends happy in love but me I'm single,I go on POF and I can't even get a dam reply.I'm a sweet guy and very respectful.I only had 2 dates this yr and both dates ended up both of us liking each other and ending with kissing,but the next days is like she loses interest and is not sure what she wants.I'm simple I just want to have someone to talk to and eventually someone to come home to.I have a good paying job and I'm very ambitious,I work out daily so I know I'm fit,just not sure what the problem is here,am I ugly?IDK.

[BlueIris]

While the conventional wisdom seems to be that online dating is a numbers game and you should contact as many people as possible, I think the opposite. I believe we attract what we are. Just wanting any ole girlfriend is like wanting a widget, a bandaid for loneliness, not a certain kind of person to build a relationship with. Notice that you’re attracting women who aren’t sure what they want either. So figure out exactly what you want or your ambivalence will continue to attract the ambivalent. If you’re doing OLD, seek specifically women with traits you want, or indicators that they will likely have those traits. JMO

[d0nnivain]

OLD is a tool but it shouldn't be your only method of finding a date. You need to employ several strategies.

 

Look around IRL. Who do you see regularly, when you get your coffee in the morning, where you have lunch etc.?

 

Ask your friends with successful relationships if their SO's have friends to fix you up with. Also tell your friends & family that you are open to being set up. You never know who knows somebody who may be perfect for you. One guy here on LS said he posted on his FB page that he wanted a GF & friends were able to hook him up.

 

What social things do you do? Do more.

 

Get involved in groups or organizations you care about. It's the last weekend before election day here in the US. Every candidate needs people to work the phones, canvass & take exit polls. There is also a party on election night. Do you like having balloons dropped on your head?

 

Go to MeetUp.com events that interest you.

 

Join volunteer organizations like your local FD, the Elks, the Moose, the Kiwanis, your local animal shelter, the Red Cross etc.

 

Take or teach a class.

[Ready2DateAgain]

OLD is a tool but it shouldn't be your only method of finding a date. You need to employ several strategies.

 

Look around IRL. Who do you see regularly, when you get your coffee in the morning, where you have lunch etc.?

 

Ask your friends with successful relationships if their SO's have friends to fix you up with. Also tell your friends & family that you are open to being set up. You never know who knows somebody who may be perfect for you. One guy here on LS said he posted on his FB page that he wanted a GF & friends were able to hook him up.

 

What social things do you do? Do more.

 

Get involved in groups or organizations you care about. It's the last weekend before election day here in the US. Every candidate needs people to work the phones, canvass & take exit polls. There is also a party on election night. Do you like having balloons dropped on your head?

 

Go to MeetUp.com events that interest you.

 

Join volunteer organizations like your local FD, the Elks, the Moose, the Kiwanis, your local animal shelter, the Red Cross etc.

 

Take or teach a class.

 

I don't do much I work in a office in a small building ,no girls around here,just go to work and gym,I go to the YMCA so it's rare that I see any girls,all my friends are married and could careless about hooking me up.I tried the meetup thing and nothing but heavy set woman kept showing up.I may meet up tomorrow night with some industry folks they are having a event at dave in busters in hollywood,the dude from go daddy (nerd) will be there my friend is hosting the event so we will see if I meet a girl

[d0nnivain]

I don't do much I work in a office in a small building ,no girls around here,just go to work and gym,I go to the YMCA so it's rare that I see any girls,all my friends are married and could careless about hooking me up.I tried the meetup thing and nothing but heavy set woman kept showing up.I may meet up tomorrow night with some industry folks they are having a event at dave in busters in hollywood,the dude from go daddy (nerd) will be there my friend is hosting the event so we will see if I meet a girl

 

Get out of your office. Walk around the block. Going to your industry events is a good idea but anything centered on tech or video games is not the best place to meet women.

 

Have you ever sat down & told your married friends' wives that you are interested in meeting someone? Tell the women not your buddies. I promise all of their wives have single GFs who are lamenting the fact that they can't meet a nice guy.

 

I'm floored that you think you can't meet any women when you live in Hollywood. The greater LA are is teaming with people. Take up a sport if you want fit people. Change gyms to one with more women.

 

Find a throw away paper & go to the events mentioned there.

[Cristo]

While the conventional wisdom seems to be that online dating is a numbers game and you should contact as many people as possible, I think the opposite. I believe we attract what we are. Just wanting any ole girlfriend is like wanting a widget, a bandaid for loneliness, not a certain kind of person to build a relationship with. Notice that you’re attracting women who aren’t sure what they want either. So figure out exactly what you want or your ambivalence will continue to attract the ambivalent. If you’re doing OLD, seek specifically women with traits you want, or indicators that they will likely have those traits. JMO

 

I disagree with this.

 

For example, I'm a professional that makes 6 figures, highly educated, in my 20s, short, average to above average looking face, no kids, and generally friendly. The last woman that I attracted is short and cute, but has 3 kids, is a former drug addict, with a high school education, that also is in a committed relationship with someone (apparently).

 

I would say that we are similar looks-wise, but a world apart in everything else. Looks-wise, as a man, you will attract women at your level of looks or below. Nothing else really matters.

 

I think OP's issue is that he probably isn't very good-looking.

[Ready2DateAgain]

I disagree with this.

 

For example, I'm a professional that makes 6 figures, highly educated, in my 20s, short, average to above average looking face, no kids, and generally friendly. The last woman that I attracted is short and cute, but has 3 kids, is a former drug addict, with a high school education, that also is in a committed relationship with someone (apparently).

 

I would say that we are similar looks-wise, but a world apart in everything else. Looks-wise, as a man, you will attract women at your level of looks or below. Nothing else really matters.

 

I think OP's issue is that he probably isn't very good-looking.

 

I don't know if I'm good looking or not anymore,my ex-fiancee was model material ,I have always had good luck dating hot woman but this yr has been rough for me ,I don't know if my ex put a curse on me ,the receptionist at my gym has told me countless times how good looking I am ,I even had a milf tell me she thought I was conceited cuz I never talk when I'm at the gym but she ended up shagging me eventually.I think maybe I'm having trouble because I do the same routine thing work,gym,home I don't go out to dive bars anymore because I don't want to drink I had trouble with alcohol. I no longer get motivated to put a dress shirt on for work,sometimes i just show up in sweats and a raggy t shirt ,before my break up I would always dress up ,I think about my ex everyday and it saddens me that she's with someone else and had his child.

[d0nnivain]

Ahhhhhh. . . . based on your last post I can now tell you exactly why you don't have a GF. You are putting out a vibe that says I'm depressed & I don't care anymore. That is not attractive.

 

Dress up. Make some effort. Do Something. Plaster a smile on your face & at least fake a good attitude. When you change the whole world will look brighter.

[Ready2DateAgain]

Ahhhhhh. . . . based on your last post I can now tell you exactly why you don't have a GF. You are putting out a vibe that says I'm depressed & I don't care anymore. That is not attractive.

 

Dress up. Make some effort. Do Something. Plaster a smile on your face & at least fake a good attitude. When you change the whole world will look brighter.

 

Thanks and this means a lot.

[GemmaUK]

Ahhhhhh. . . . based on your last post I can now tell you exactly why you don't have a GF. You are putting out a vibe that says I'm depressed & I don't care anymore. That is not attractive.

 

Dress up. Make some effort. Do Something. Plaster a smile on your face & at least fake a good attitude. When you change the whole world will look brighter.

 

Along with this.

 

OP..I did see another post of yours where you said words to the effect that men are fed up because some woman has basically made their life bad.

Is this how you feel about women?

We do get the vibe when a man is inherently angry at the female gender or people they see as against them - employers/wait staff/you name it.

 

The other thing.

Have you looked at your face recently?

Not the 'yeah I look OK.off I go to work/gym face'

 

The 'resting face'.

The one you use when shopping, being at work/gym etc.

 

Try them out in a mirror.

There will be two or three of them...

Which one do you want to meet? The one you adopt naturally the least I expect..

 

I do it too btw.

If I am honest with my concentrating rest face I would avoid me.

However, I practise not being so slack.

I forgot recently and today someone I know said I looked facially beautiful today (whoop! ) and also asked what I did differently. I wasn't about to say I just engaged 'happy and alive' muscles!

[Ready2DateAgain]

Along with this.

 

OP..I did see another post of yours where you said words to the effect that men are fed up because some woman has basically made their life bad.

Is this how you feel about women?

We do get the vibe when a man is inherently angry at the female gender or people they see as against them - employers/wait staff/you name it.

 

The other thing.

Have you looked at your face recently?

Not the 'yeah I look OK.off I go to work/gym face'

 

The 'resting face'.

The one you use when shopping, being at work/gym etc.

 

Try them out in a mirror.

There will be two or three of them...

Which one do you want to meet? The one you adopt naturally the least I expect..

 

I do it too btw.

If I am honest with my concentrating rest face I would avoid me.

However, I practise not being so slack.

I forgot recently and today someone I know said I looked facially beautiful today (whoop! ) and also asked what I did differently. I wasn't about to say I just engaged 'happy and alive' muscles!

 

I been walking around with a rest face and you are right ,it's not one I would like to meet.

I'm not mad at woman I'm mad at her and only her.But this I must get over with because no woman would like a man that still carries anger for a ex.