OLD: Women who have no written standards?

[JuneJulySeptember]

I have never done online dating, but I have lurked and there is something that made me curious.

 

Most women have set standards, and when they do post their standards, well a lot of times that would screen me out from the vast majority. Fine, that's how it is in real life too and I make do.

 

But I see a lot of women who have virtually no standards written down (like on the bottom on Match.com). Some of them are even pretty attractive and they will have like height (3' to 8'), any race, and income, etc.

 

I am wondering what guys experiences are with the 'no standards' women?

[Shining One]

I know a couple women at work who do this. In both of their cases, they do it so they don't appear superficial (both filter on race, one filters on height). Instead, they use the Match email filters to filter out men who don't meet their standards.

 

 

I've messaged a few women with no defined standards, but none of them ever responded. I have a low response rate in general, so it really isn't enough to draw a conclusion.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I know a couple women at work who do this. In both of their cases, they do it so they don't appear superficial (both filter on race, one filters on height). Instead, they use the Match email filters to filter out men who don't meet their standards.

 

 

I've messaged a few women with no defined standards, but none of them ever responded. I have a low response rate in general, so it really isn't enough to draw a conclusion.

 

Ah yes. You're right. After all, people you know will see you on Match.

 

I've seen at least 5 people I know, though not necessarily well.

 

You're a genius.

[Cristo]

I know a couple women at work who do this. In both of their cases, they do it so they don't appear superficial (both filter on race, one filters on height). Instead, they use the Match email filters to filter out men who don't meet their standards.

 

 

I've messaged a few women with no defined standards, but none of them ever responded. I have a low response rate in general, so it really isn't enough to draw a conclusion.

 

Definitely agree with this. Women generally all want the same thing (tall, GQ model looking, 6 figure salary), especially if they are meeting you online. There's no point in even reading the profiles. They're usually just BS.

 

I wouldn't waste my time doing OLD unless you're in the top 10% of men looks-wise.

[ThaWholigan]

Up and down. I've messaged some girls with virtually nothing on their profile - but I'm more POF than Match. I use POF and OKCupid (POF has better looking girls in my area).

 

The ones that don't have any written standards basically just haven't bothered to vocalize it so they'll ignore your message unless you fit the criteria. I haven't done too badly in terms of responses, about a 40% reply rate with those particular girls. Only resulted in few meets though, doesn't really go anywhere.

 

I find it easier to meet girls when they've messaged me first, which hasn't been very often.

[Phoe]

I don't have any set standards, so my OLD profile was just a quick description of myself and an invitation for anyone interested to message me and chat. Simple.

 

About 18 guys messaged me. I responded to all of them except the 2 that were sexual. Some never responded back. Those who did, I chatted with. The first one to ask me on a date got the date.

 

Edit: just remembered, I did have a filter set for no cigarette smokers. Cigarettes make me violently sick.

[Shining One]

I don't have any set standards, so my OLD profile was just a quick description of myself and an invitation for anyone interested to message me and chat. Simple.

 

About 18 guys messaged me. I responded to all of them except the 2 that were sexual. Some never responded back. Those who did, I chatted with. The first one to ask me on a date got the date.

I'm sure it's been said before, but you're something of an anomaly. Very few women respond to all of the messages sent to her. You're also more open-minded than just about all of the women I know personally.

 

 

If you don't mind my asking, what dating site did you use? I imagine you would have gotten far more messages on any of the major dating sites unless you live in the middle of nowhere.

[Phoe]

I'm sure it's been said before, but you're something of an anomaly. Very few women respond to all of the messages sent to her. You're also more open-minded than just about all of the women I know personally.

 

 

If you don't mind my asking, what dating site did you use? I imagine you would have gotten far more messages on any of the major dating sites unless you live in the middle of nowhere.

 

Well, I saw no reason to not respond to the messages I got. How can I make any judgment calls when I've never spoken to a guy yet? There were the 2 sexual ones I ignored, and there was one guy who, after my first response, sent a message saying he would need to see several more photos, face and body, before he'd consider me, and i refused him and politely declined to talk with him further.

 

Otherwise, I had some nice convos.

 

I used POF.

 

I live in a small rural town too.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I'm sure it's been said before, but you're something of an anomaly.

 

Oh, it's definitely been said before.

[Phoe]

I'm sure it's been said before, but you're something of an anomaly. Very few women respond to all of the messages sent to her. You're also more open-minded than just about all of the women I know personally.

 

 

If you don't mind my asking, what dating site did you use? I imagine you would have gotten far more messages on any of the major dating sites unless you live in the middle of nowhere.

 

I also wonder if my profile confused people. If by not stating any standards and just putting out a blanket "message me!" statement, if I just confused men or put them off.

 

I did get one "you're probably not even real and I'm wasting my time sending this" message, which made me a bit sad. I messaged back and said I was real, and asked him some questions about himself, but he still seemed a bit guarded. Dunno.

[sillyanswer]

I did get one "you're probably not even real and I'm wasting my time sending this" message, which made me a bit sad.

 

He probably sent that to everyone.

[irc333]

Right, there are likely single women out there that won't say IN their profile, "You must be 6 feet or taller to date me"

 

All they REALLY need to do is look at his stats/height, and that's enough. No need to say it IN the profile.

 

 

 

I have never done online dating, but I have lurked and there is something that made me curious.

 

Most women have set standards, and when they do post their standards, well a lot of times that would screen me out from the vast majority. Fine, that's how it is in real life too and I make do.

 

But I see a lot of women who have virtually no standards written down (like on the bottom on Match.com). Some of them are even pretty attractive and they will have like height (3' to 8'), any race, and income, etc.

 

I am wondering what guys experiences are with the 'no standards' women?

[Allumere]

Well, I saw no reason to not respond to the messages I got. How can I make any judgment calls when I've never spoken to a guy yet? There were the 2 sexual ones I ignored, and there was one guy who, after my first response, sent a message saying he would need to see several more photos, face and body, before he'd consider me, and i refused him and politely declined to talk with him further.

 

Otherwise, I had some nice convos.

 

I used POF.

 

I live in a small rural town too.

 

I am with you. I responded to every single email. If they took the time to send a not I could at least say "thanks, no thanks".

[ThaWholigan]

You girls respond to every message?

 

Even I don't do that .

[organizedchaos]

I have never done online dating, but I have lurked and there is something that made me curious.

 

Most women have set standards, and when they do post their standards, well a lot of times that would screen me out from the vast majority. Fine, that's how it is in real life too and I make do.

 

But I see a lot of women who have virtually no standards written down (like on the bottom on Match.com). Some of them are even pretty attractive and they will have like height (3' to 8'), any race, and income, etc.

 

I am wondering what guys experiences are with the 'no standards' women?

 

Those are probably just bots.

[insert_name]

I am with you. I responded to every single email. If they took the time to send a not I could at least say "thanks, no thanks".

 

Thats a nice thing to aim for- at least for the people who have read your profile and tried to craft a response accordingly.

 

Take it from me, personalising emails and tryi g to make them witty takes time, to not even get a profile view at the end of it is the sort of thing that creates the jaded men that end up sometimes getting snappy.its not really the girl in question they are snappy about, its the frustration that it takes a lot of energy to try and constantly be creative to stand out and when it results in nothing once or twice thats all just part of the experience. The 50th time in a row? Trust me, that sucks and its something thats very difficult for women to understand because you probably dont put in anywhere near enough effort to try and set up dates.

 

I had it today with a girl who didnt want to reveal her career and was looking for a partner in crime so i wrote a playful email exposing her as Batman and playing off that for a bit...nothing at all. For me thats the latest in a series of such attempts to be sparky and witty and i cant be bothered anymore. Ive since started 'hitting the wall', sending out a few "Yo"s to girls with painfully sparse profiles to try and wind them up more than anything- any more than that feels like a waste of effort at this poiint in time. This is on OKC and im going to close the account now as i dont want to turn into one of those jaded dudes. From my POV, a response to a well crafted message would help to fend off the frustration somewhat.

 

Inb4 the haters start giving it the old "women don't owe you anything you self-entitled jerk!!!1" nonsense, i totally agree with that, but where possible, its a practice that should be encouraged as it shows a level of empathy with guys and helps the online dating ecosystem spin round happily. As it is women usually dont have to risk rejection at all during the contact stage so a bit of acknowledgement would show some solidarity.

[Thegreatestthing]

Many girls will drop their standards if the guy is hot,interesting,charming or their soulmate.

I said very specifically on my profile that I only like eAstern European guys, (which is true) my now bf wrote to me he's Irish/English and I'm happy with him.

[irc333]

There's this one woman in my area that stated, "If you emailed me, and I didn't respond, don't email me again a week later, it means I was NOT interested...if you contact me, then you're too stupid to remember to be the kind of person I'd date anyhow"

 

LOL Yeah, kinda cold on her part.

 

 

On the other hand, I seen women in their profiles state they get tired of trying to "Explain why I won't date you." to men that contact them. That by actually replying, it sets things up for them trying to "sell" themselves to you (the women.)

 

At that point, they get tired of the hard sell.

 

 

Thats a nice thing to aim for- at least for the people who have read your profile and tried to craft a response accordingly.

 

Take it from me, personalising emails and tryi g to make them witty takes time, to not even get a profile view at the end of it is the sort of thing that creates the jaded men that end up sometimes getting snappy.its not really the girl in question they are snappy about, its the frustration that it takes a lot of energy to try and constantly be creative to stand out and when it results in nothing once or twice thats all just part of the experience. The 50th time in a row? Trust me, that sucks and its something thats very difficult for women to understand because you probably dont put in anywhere near enough effort to try and set up dates.

 

I had it today with a girl who didnt want to reveal her career and was looking for a partner in crime so i wrote a playful email exposing her as Batman and playing off that for a bit...nothing at all. For me thats the latest in a series of such attempts to be sparky and witty and i cant be bothered anymore. Ive since started 'hitting the wall', sending out a few "Yo"s to girls with painfully sparse profiles to try and wind them up more than anything- any more than that feels like a waste of effort at this poiint in time. This is on OKC and im going to close the account now as i dont want to turn into one of those jaded dudes. From my POV, a response to a well crafted message would help to fend off the frustration somewhat.

 

Inb4 the haters start giving it the old "women don't owe you anything you self-entitled jerk!!!1" nonsense, i totally agree with that, but where possible, its a practice that should be encouraged as it shows a level of empathy with guys and helps the online dating ecosystem spin round happily. As it is women usually dont have to risk rejection at all during the contact stage so a bit of acknowledgement would show some solidarity.

[irc333]

Take it from me, personalising emails and tryi g to make them witty takes time, to not even get a profile view at the end of it is the sort of thing that creates the jaded men that end up sometimes getting snappy.its not really the girl in question they are snappy about, its the frustration that it takes a lot of energy to try and constantly be creative to stand out and when it results in nothing once or twice thats all just part of the experience. The 50th time in a row? Trust me, that sucks and its something thats very difficult for women to understand because you probably dont put in anywhere near enough effort to try and set up dates.

 

lol...snappy...I actually had a co-worker get snappy with a woman. After about 10 or so emails to different women in his area, when the last one didn't respond....he figured they were just fake profiles and went off on a woman....she responded though, wasn't pretty, but that was the day he walked away from online dating. LOL

 

But yeah, then you see the women complain in their profiles about "Don't send me any copy & paste emails I'll KNOW it!

 

I actually mix it up a bit. In notepad I have an opening introductory paragraph and another brief description in the kind of relationship I'm looking for. and that's pretty much what I copy and paste.

 

The rest is typed up due to what they listed in their profile. Note their hobbies, activities, etc. "Hey, I see you're into kayaking, well, my favorite river like to kayak on is...blah blah blah."

 

So its only half copy pasted. lol More efficient that way.

[Shining One]

Many girls will drop their standards if the guy is hot,interesting,charming or their soulmate.

I said very specifically on my profile that I only like eAstern European guys, (which is true) my now bf wrote to me he's Irish/English and I'm happy with him.

This is rather confusing, at least for me. The first thing I look at in a woman's profile is the "What she's looking for" section. If I don't meet her requirements, I don't read any further or send her a message. There are plenty of complaints from women about men who don't read their profiles before sending a message. This seems like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.

[JuneJulySeptember]

This is rather confusing, at least for me. The first thing I look at in a woman's profile is the "What she's looking for" section. If I don't meet her requirements, I don't read any further or send her a message. There are plenty of complaints from women about men who don't read their profiles before sending a message. This seems like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.

 

Some guys don't fit into the requirements of 90-95% of women, so for them, they have to message profiles where they fall outside the range.

 

Or message the 'no standards' women.

Edited November 2, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[irc333]

Some guys don't fit into the requirements of 90-95% of women, so for them, they have to message profiles where they fall outside the range.

 

.

 

Exactly, they email first, wait until the "Meet in person" to really find out what she's all about. Unfortunately, women won't even take it THAT far.

[DQBlizzard]

It's online dating. It's like window shopping for women for the most part.

 

I don't really use it to get dates. If I get one, great, but for the most part, I don't expect it.

 

I just make friends.

[Phoe]

You girls respond to every message?

 

Even I don't do that .

 

Why on earth not?

 

It doesn't hurt to at least chat with someone.

[Cam7]

Why on earth not?

 

It doesn't hurt to at least chat with someone.

 

I used to get this totally wrong, I assumed that any contact was straight up interest. Then over invest and go crazy when sparks don't fly. Now I go along with whatever, something may or may not come of it. Sometimes its nice just getting a laugh or two.