Finding out info on MM or W

[liswil]

Has anyone ever gotten info on MM or on his W? I don't think I ever would but the thoughts crossed my mind and I often wondered how people did it. I mean I know his home phone number is unlisted. I know the general area of the city he lives but not his address.

 

I'm guessing that at least some of the OW have found out stuff about either him or about his W.

 

There's been a time or two I've wanted his home number to call him but then the thought passed and I'd forget about it. Can you even get someone's number if it's unlisted?

 

I'm guessing those who did probably paid some service for it??? To me, it's not worth it to, but I guess I just wondered how people found out that kind of info.

[erika2610]

Originally posted by liswil

Has anyone ever gotten info on MM or on his W? I don't think I ever would but the thoughts crossed my mind and I often wondered how people did it. I mean I know his home phone number is unlisted. I know the general area of the city he lives but not his address.

 

I'm guessing that at least some of the OW have found out stuff about either him or about his W.

 

There's been a time or two I've wanted his home number to call him but then the thought passed and I'd forget about it. Can you even get someone's number if it's unlisted?

 

I'm guessing those who did probably paid some service for it??? To me, it's not worth it to, but I guess I just wondered how people found out that kind of info.

 

I never knew anything outside of what he told me.. and I don't think I'd have wanted to know that much about his wife. And calling his house.. not a very good idea. What kinds of things would you wanna know?

[joodee]

After a few months into my relationship with my MM I would look for info on him and his W (they don't live together, so staying the night and hanging out after he left for work was easy...heck, I even had a key to his place for awhile), I never had to "pay" for an unlisted number or do those things online that you pay for....

 

However, I did get to be a good snoop, I looked around and eventually found his password for his e-mail. I found out with his password that he had another girlfriend he was hiding from me, and that he and his W still "connected" (she ended her e-mails with Love, etc.), and I figured out his password to his cellphone, and found out he had alot to hide.

 

Anyway, my point is there are ways to snoop and find out things...but if you feel this urge to find out info, that tells you things aren't right at all. And you are naturally very curious about what is really going on. If I hadn't snooped I would probably be in La La land, thinking everything was hunky dory.

 

Trust your gut, things aren't right. Get out while you're still alive!

 

P.S. Even after finding out the info, I had a hard time breaking away for a long time because he kept being persitent in bugging me that he would change and take action (and I did feel guilty for snooping). But don't let guilt stop you, find out what you need to know so you can get the heck out and breathe easy again.

[liswil]

Basically I just wanted his home phone number.

[joodee]

Sorry, just got on a rant there. I just sense you have an urge for more info, and I just wanted to share how going down that road leads to snooping, etc.

 

I think I missed something, how do you two keep in contact since you don't have his home phone?

 

FYI I do have my MM's W's cell number (he has it on his cell, I looked at his cell while he wasn't looking). I get tempted to call it, but then I don't want more kaos in my life, so I don't.

 

Hope sharing this info helps somehow. For what it was all worth.

[MsMree]

it seems you don't understand the rules of the game - if the rules are to change, MM is the one to do that. Yes, that sucks but what did you expect?

 

I think you should be grateful for the lack of info - ignorance can be bliss and you do not have to be tempted to call him or his W.

 

Pls. don't take this personally, but this is the crap that gives all OW a bad name and lumps us into some silly little psycho-stalk'g category.

[liswil]

Actually, I don't consider wanting his home number making me into a stalker. And I'm sure there are ways to find it--even if no one here knows how.

 

I don't want any other info. In fact if someone offerred to give me more info, I probably wouldn't want it.

 

I don't want his address either--even though if I wanted to I could probably get it.

 

As for the rules of the game---no, I don't play by just his rules. I don't work like that with ANY man.

[izzybelle]

liswil,

 

i don't consider your question to be stalker-ish. i think it's common to want the info. and to be curious. it's what some do with it that could become problematic. there's so much, sometimes, about these men that we're curious about. yes, i guess there are rules, but i've never been very good at playing by them either.

 

i had my exMMs address long before we became a "thing" and i'm sure i could have gotten his home phone but i knew i could never call him there so i never bothered looking. i'm sure there are ways to get an unlisted #. i know once i was dating someone who was visiting his parents who had an unlisted # and i needed to get in touch. the operator put the call through to the number but didn't give it to me.

 

my curiousity about my MM and his W focused more around whether or not she was having an affair. and i'm pretty sure she was. and when my relationship with him fell apart, i'll admit i was soooooo tempted to hire a PI to prove to him that he wasn't the only one "at fault" for damaging their relationship. but, i realized that it would accomplish nothing. if they really were committed (haha) to fixing their marriage i had no business interferring on that level. but i was oh so tempted!!!

 

and i don't believe that many women haven't googled their MM, the W, or other single guys they're dating!!!! heck i've even googled myself to see what's out there! i will say that on top of the bizarre phone call i got from, i suspect MMs W, within days of the discovery, i started getting messages from some service saying that someone was seeking info about me. a scam? a coincidence? who knows. all i knew was that she had threatened to hire a PI to follow me since he would be too difficult to track with his travel schedule. that poor PI would have died from boredom in his car !!!

[Mr Spock]

It makes me feel incredibly stressed to "find out" info. So I try not to.

[Sad Flower]

Actually, I don't consider wanting his home number making me into a stalker

 

Sorry but when I read the first post I thought STALKER BUT, I can understand the curiosity, I know I was very curious about their marriage and other stuff but I pretty much knew everything so it didn't get to that point for me. Shoot MM wasn't hiding much. He was with me while wifey was living down the street, literaly on the same street. She would see my car @ his house in the middle of the night or we would see her drive by while we were out side. No secrets there!

[tiki]

Self control - utilize it.

[MsMree]

There's been a time or two I've wanted his home number to call him but then the thought passed and I'd forget about it. Can you even get someone's number if it's unlisted?

 

Maybe stalker was harsh, but it still is kinda creepy - be gald you don't have the # - if you did have it it appears that you may not be able to help yourself by calling - AND SAY WHAT???

 

As for the "Rules" - we certaily do play by them - what do you do when you want to talk to your MM @ 3 a.m. - or if you want him to escort you to a wedd'g or work function? Nothing. Because we can't.

 

But to answer your originial ?: I spend every weekend at the house my MM used to share w/W - i'm not above snoop'g either so the info. i can get is plentiful. Every time i "happened" upon some info. in hurt like HELL - just seeing their names printed together on their checks was like a stab in the heart - a feeling i don't wish on any woman.

[goldy]

true true we do all play by the rules, it was this comment I didnt care for

 

 

"Yes, that sucks but what did you expect?"-msmree

 

i mean it all sucks but what did we expect, yet we are all in pain, but then what did we expect? the truth is none of us expected this or we would never have done it.

[erika2610]

Originally posted by goldy

true true we do all play by the rules, it was this comment I didnt care for

 

 

"Yes, that sucks but what did you expect?"-msmree

 

i mean it all sucks but what did we expect, yet we are all in pain, but then what did we expect? the truth is none of us expected this or we would never have done it.

 

I think she meant.. what does the girl expect? To be able to just call him anytime she wants? To have him readily hand her his phone number? True, I never expected what I was getting into.. but I knew that there were just certain things that were gonna be different than having a single man.. I dunno if that's what msMree meant.. but that's what I took from it

[goldy]

i see what you mean.

i'm sorry i am in one of those moods today, angry, ready to jump at anyone. i'm upset really.

sorry mree xx

[MsMree]

I HAVE MANY OF THOSE DAYS!!! And it is usually reflected by my responses (hehe!)

 

But to clarify, Erika you are partially correct and so are you Goldy - i was referring to the whole A. Most of us (I said most, not all) knew these men were married and we are "big girls" - we know what comes along w/that, or more precisely, what doesn't come along with that, ie: personal info. and MUCH MORE!

 

What we do not know is just how much emotional crap comes w/the relationship.

[2Confuzed]

My MM gave me his home number, cell number and pager. He has called me a few times before from his house when his wife wasn't home. We usually communicate via cell phone though. I've never felt the need to call his house. He basically tells me everything anyway so I don't feel compelled to snoop.

[goldy]

personally i feel the less ways to contact, the better. then when you are really really angry, you dont have to summon as much willpower to stop yourself phoning him.