You're right, women have it easier. Now what?

[Mister Zen]

This was actually a decent thread about this topic; however, it does appear to be digressing a bit for the last page. Pity.

 

 

I tend to agree with a lot that both genders have written about and have experiences on both sides of being rejected by men (one even after being in a year long relationship after meeting him on OLD site), have been stalked by one guy a "gave a chance" to after I told him I didn't feel the "chemistry" (he started talking marriage on our first dinner date, admitted to a cocaine problem, issues with his family and didn't like his last girlfriend's kid, so he bolted)...he just couldn't understand why I wasn't attracted to him and didn't want to be his wife.

 

 

I still say that what people do tend to forget is that it does take time to get to and want to know someone better and that goes beyond initial looks. I met my last BF on OLD, we had very similar interests. He was not physically attractive to me, but his other qualities (personality, character) made me more interested in him. There is truth that you can be the best looking man or woman in the room, sure, someone will sleep with you eventually...but they won't enjoy your company in the long term.

 

 

A date is not a relationship, dating (one person) is the start of a potential relationship and relationships either form from that or they don't.

 

The biggest disadvantage women have in the dating game is time.

[Imported]

It's about choices. Many of the guys here want to control how women choose, so that it benefits them. Like they must be shallow because they didn't choose me, cause I am so nice and stuff. But that would be artificial, it's just not going to work. I say, women should choose a guy as they please. They will anyway . Unless you have arranged marriages.

 

 

Many of the guys here want women to approach more, thinking women will approach them. No . It'll just be even more clear that women want the other guys instead. Yes, the other guys. There are other guys out there besides the ones complaining here. It's not a problem for them. I say women should continue doing as they are doing. Give me a nod and a wink and I'll take care of the rest. Do all the "work". It's not a big deal.

Edited November 4, 2014 by Imported

[Mister Zen]

It's about choices. Many of the guys here want to control how women choose, so that it benefits them. Like they must be shallow because they didn't choose me, cause I am so nice and stuff. But that would be artificial, it's just not going to work. I say, women should choose a guy as they please. They will anyway . Unless you have arranged marriages.

 

 

Many of the guys here want women to approach more, thinking women will approach them. No . It'll just be even more clear that women want the other guys instead. Yes, the other guys. There are other guys out there besides the ones complaining here. It's not a problem for them. I say women should continue doing as they are doing. Give me a nod and a wink and I'll take care of the rest. Do all the "work". It's not a big deal.

 

I always suggest men become PUA's. It worked for me.

 

My frustration with women now isn't about meeting them or attracting them. Its more about finding someone I actually like as a person and trust. Its like pulling teeth.

[trippi1432]

My frustration with women now isn't about meeting them or attracting them. Its more about finding someone I actually like as a person and trust. Its like pulling teeth.

 

 

I think that is a sentiment that both genders share equally.

[trippi1432]

The biggest disadvantage women have in the dating game is time.

 

 

How is that?

[Mister Zen]

How is that?

 

Their dating options decrease with age. Some of it is their own fault because many refuse to date younger guys.

 

Also, if a man wants kids (especially more than one) he will prefer a younger woman who has more time to have more kids.

[OwMyEyeball]

How is that?

Mortality

 

:[

[Lernaean_Hydra]

*Edit* eh, I'll wait and see

Edited November 4, 2014 by Lernaean_Hydra

[trippi1432]

Their dating options decrease with age. Some of it is their own fault because many refuse to date younger guys.

 

Also, if a man wants kids (especially more than one) he will prefer a younger woman who has more time to have more kids.

 

 

In today's society, and with divorce being rampant, I doubt the well is ever going to "dry up" for women or men in any age bracket.

[somedude81]

I've never known a guy IRL who was kind of obsessed with that the way I see here. Most guys I know are generally happy with their lot in life. If anything, they're probably glad not to be female because they don't want to have periods, potentially give birth, fear rape, etc. I've never met a guy (except for a couple trans people I've met) who want to be women! LS is different.

 

Honestly I feel that life would have been more enjoyable if I was born a woman. I certainly wouldn't have been alone for as long as I've been.

No I'm not saying that I want to become woman as in being trans or whatever.

 

As I a man, I just have too many things working against me that make dating nearly impossible. If I was a woman, none of those issues would matter whatsoever.

 

Dating as a woman is super easy, all it requires is a bit of common sense and being able to stick to your intuition.

 

Be friendly and try to look good and men will flock to you. Pick the best of those men and don't settle for just sex unless it's what you absolutely want. That's it. That's how to succeed in dating as a woman. For an actual relationship the woman gets to be even more picky and make sure the guy meets whatever criteria you set. Then drop him on his ass if you get bored.

[Million.to.1]

As I a man, I just have too many things working against me that I am unwilling to change that makes dating nearly impossible.

 

Here. I fixed that statement up for you.

[Toodaloo]

Oh come on, that's such an extreme example.

 

I'm talking about one date. Not that you have to be in a relationship with him for 5 years.

 

BTW surely you really liked something about so it's completely ridiculous to say that "I went on a date with a guy I didn't like and I had an unhappy relationship with him for 5 years because of it."

 

What I liked is that he was "just nice". I liked that it was simple. I wanted simple. I didn't want stars and Disney fairy tales.

 

There in was my mistake. I continued to project the person I thought he was from the first 6 months onto him for a very long time. ETA - this guy comes across as very sweet to everyone. He comes across as lovely. In reality he just doesn't give a damn, is weak, stupid and pathetic. I refused to see those things because I wanted nice so I settled for what I had.

 

I don't actually know ANY other men that would treat a woman quite so badly. Well perhaps one other... But that is a perhaps...

 

Mister Zen you are absolutely right about time. It goes by so fast and before any of us know it we are looking back and thinking where did it go?

Edited November 4, 2014 by Toodaloo

[Tik]

...As I a man, I just have too many things working against me that make dating nearly impossible. If I was a woman, none of those issues would matter whatsoever...

 

Oh hodge podge! Elaborate for me my good man what you have working against you? Heck I can even wager a bet that whatever excuse you throw out, I can counter.

 

I've been through the dryers as ethnically one of the less preferred of the girls I am interested in. I am short. I carried a bit of weight back then and my body shape was pear as opposed to any lean'ness or muscle tone. Heck, my face was acne filled. I look back and even my dress sense was a bit off but guess what, I still pulled woman and woman 'out of my league' at that.

 

I really do hope you see the light one day. I was like you but you will reach a cross road and I hope my friend you choose the road to enlightenment and not that of dwelling on your short comings and cynicism.

[hotpotato]

It's about choices. Many of the guys here want to control how women choose, so that it benefits them. Like they must be shallow because they didn't choose me, cause I am so nice and stuff. But that would be artificial, it's just not going to work. I say, women should choose a guy as they please. They will anyway . Unless you have arranged marriages.

 

 

Many of the guys here want women to approach more, thinking women will approach them. No . It'll just be even more clear that women want the other guys instead. Yes, the other guys. There are other guys out there besides the ones complaining here. It's not a problem for them. I say women should continue doing as they are doing. Give me a nod and a wink and I'll take care of the rest. Do all the "work". It's not a big deal.

 

 

Even in some arranged marriages women get skme kind of say so. I remember watching a show about it. The girls family was picking hot sexy professionals as her suitors. If thats modern arranged martiages, sign me up!

[Friskyone4u]

The simple fact of biology is that since the cave man days men of all species pursue women. So it should come as no surprise that in social and sexual interactions women have what some would call an advantage. And guess what? It ain't going to change!!

Why do you think bars and clubs have "ladies nights? Because that will draw the men out in droves.

As a guy you just have to accept that the biology makes it easier for women to date, cheat, and do whatever they want to do because us guys can't stop chasing. We are programmed genetically to do it so we might as well stop complaining about it and keep chasing .

Eventually you catch the right one

[Frank2thepoint]

I must say though that this insipid jealousy about how much better it is to be a woman than a man is NOT an attractive manly trait.

 

Being able to pee standing up, anywhere, and even "draw" things into snow, is awesome.

 

 

I've never known a guy IRL who was kind of obsessed with that the way I see here. Most guys I know are generally happy with their lot in life. If anything, they're probably glad not to be female because they don't want to have periods, potentially give birth, fear rape, etc. I've never met a guy (except for a couple trans people I've met) who want to be women! LS is different.

 

I concur very much. Being a man has some great benefits in society and life in general. I won't deny it. But there are also some negatives. Demands and expectations placed upon by society and peers. But the same goes for women as well. Neither gender has an advantage or disadvantage. It's as if some grand arcane scheme designed men and women to complement each other.

[sillyanswer]

Now, obviously I think this is ridiculous but let's stop for a moment and say this is partially, largely or hell, even completely true. I'd like to know what comes next. Especially for the single guys who complain about the current state of the dating scene.What are we (society) supposed to do? What is supposed to change?

 

For the sake of the thread I'll also (temporarily) agree with the premise, even though it's clearly ridiculous. My answer to the question, though, is that nobody ever promised that life would be fair. Even if women do have it easier, and even if everyone somehow comes to accept that... perhaps the question shouldn't be "Now what?" (although that's a great question) so much as "So what?" Life isn't fair. Tough.

 

Great thread, LH.

[Xiang]

Women do have it easyer when it comes to options, that's it .

Hit on a guy? Most will answer back positively because they want to shag anything.

But that doesn't really happen.

 

Hit on a woman? Expect defence and work to get her. Most of the time, and because they don't wanna be considered a ho' (not getting into that).

You seem to be more carefull, we are not.

So all i am saying and agreeing to is that women can get men more easy than men get women.

 

Oh and.

Every girl i know has men lined up for her, even what most would consider fat/ugly. Ofc you have to put yourself out THERE. Most average Jane's get a lot of men attention.

But men? No you don't really see that happening for the average Joe.

 

It's how it is, deal with it :|. Some guy here said something about biology, he is right.

We chase, it's why women get more attention, and it's TRUE that for them it's easyer.

WHen you understand it's how it has worked for all ETERNITY(for animals too), men might not be so hurt anymore.

Gotta fight for it ^^.

Edited November 4, 2014 by Xiang

[sillyanswer]

Try to imagine things from my shoes, where every single girl I'm interested in tells me "I don't see you that way."

 

I'm imagining being in my mid 30s (not too long ago, so I can do this part) but struggling to remember what it was like to hit on young adults in college. Help me out here. What are they interested in? Parties, clubbing, making out with guys while partying and clubbing, studying for class, more parties, travelling during those long gaps between semesters?

[Anela]

Honestly I feel that life would have been more enjoyable if I was born a woman. I certainly wouldn't have been alone for as long as I've been.

 

I've been single practically all of my years on earth. It isn't about dating just anyone, or whomever you can attract. If I'd attracted better men (that I was also attracted to), I would have been okay. I didn't, and I'm not feeling "okay" with that part of my life.

 

No I'm not saying that I want to become woman as in being trans or whatever.

 

As I a man, I just have too many things working against me that make dating nearly impossible. If I was a woman, none of those issues would matter whatsoever.

 

Wrong. The ways in which I've told you that I can relate before, still apply to women. As I've said, I don't know how many times.

 

Dating as a woman is super easy, all it requires is a bit of common sense and being able to stick to your intuition.

 

WRONG.

 

Be friendly and try to look good and men will flock to you. Pick the best of those men and don't settle for just sex unless it's what you absolutely want. That's it. That's how to succeed in dating as a woman. For an actual relationship the woman gets to be even more picky and make sure the guy meets whatever criteria you set. Then drop him on his ass if you get bored.

 

No.

[normal person]

Honestly I feel that life would have been more enjoyable if I was born a woman. I certainly wouldn't have been alone for as long as I've been.

No I'm not saying that I want to become woman as in being trans or whatever.

 

Everyone's problems are relative. While you might be less likely to be alone, if you had the same personality, attitude, and aspirations (or lack thereof) you'd probably be just as unhappy about something else.

 

As I a man, I just have too many things working against me that make dating nearly impossible. If I was a woman, none of those issues would matter whatsoever.

 

Plenty of other issues would matter. Why do you think "being a man" is such a plague? I'm a man and I've never had the kind of problems you've described. If I did, I'd accept the reality and deal with them accordingly.

 

Not to be offensive, but knowing what I know about you, it's always sounded like your problems stem from the kind of man you are, not the default fact that you are a man. Plenty of men have no issue with the current social paradigm. If you want girls, you have to "man up" and embrace the process of pursuit. Better yourself until you reach their standards rather than complaining that the world won't adapt to your shortcomings. It's social Darwinism.

 

Billions of men throughout history have figured it out. Maybe being a man isn't quite the curse you're making it out to be.

 

 

Dating as a woman is super easy, all it requires is a bit of common sense and being able to stick to your intuition.

 

Be friendly and try to look good and men will flock to you. Pick the best of those men and don't settle for just sex unless it's what you absolutely want. That's it. That's how to succeed in dating as a woman. For an actual relationship the woman gets to be even more picky and make sure the guy meets whatever criteria you set. Then drop him on his ass if you get bored.

 

Dating difficulty and success is relative. It might be easier for a girl to find a guy to go out with, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have other problems to match. The problems and pain you have are specific to some, but that doesn't discount the different and completely valid problems a women might have. Maybe she can't find the right guy and that's unsettling. Maybe the guys are abusive. Maybe they put too much pressure on her to put out, lose weight, etc. If she's miserable, do you still consider her a "dating success" because she was merely able to attract a man?

 

You have trouble attracting women. Women and other people have trouble in other aspects of the process. Your trouble isn't any worse or more valid than theirs.

 

Very interesting topic, OP.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Mortality

 

:[

 

Do women suffer from it more than men do?

[Toodaloo]

Being able to pee standing up, anywhere, and even "draw" things into snow, is awesome.

 

I can confirm that this is very good fun... I borrowed an exes one once... he was pee shy to start but I nearly managed to do a flower... for some reason he wasn't happy with me writing his name by the side of a public footpath...

 

Ladies if you ever get the opportunity please have a go... Its is basic, silly but loads of fun...

 

Never found another guy that would let me or could actually pee with me in charge of direction since... Shame as I can't draw flowers or pee standing up... if I try to pee with my leg cocked it goes down one leg...

 

Must put that on my list of must haves for next chap... Thanks for the remind Frank!

 

Sorry I digress... Back to why women, are of course, all getting laid all the time while men aren't...

[MissBee]

Lollipopspot, I grew up in a very high crime city and didn't feel this inherant fear of men you speak of. You really live your day to day life avoiding assault and rape? I agree these guys on here are wrong to think women have it easy, but I don't think the average woman is walking around fearing rape. I could be wrong, though.

 

I think many women think about this, not in terms of being paranoid, but it's at least some form of concern that most men never fathom. I was walking home late one night with a male friend of mine and I mentioned something about some place near where we were walking, and this is an affluent area, having some reports some weeks back of 2 different women being dragged into a car and sexually assaulted. He then commented that as a man he might fear being mugged or robbed but it's so different for a woman as you don't only think about okay this person might steal my money or gun butt me, but you have the additional fear of being sexually abused.

 

In any event, given that most rapes are not of the random street crime variety but people women know: date rapes, acquaintances etc. I think it's definitely a more common concern (maybe not in the sense that you daily walk around fearing it) but certainly with OLD, when I was a teen, when I was hanging out and the men outnumbered me, being in a sexual situation with a man and it's progressing too fast etc...all those situations made me tense about the possibility of sexual assault or him not listening to my no and overpowering me in ways men simply don't think about. I think most women have been in those situations.

 

I'm a grad student so am on a college campus most of the time and everywhere you go, on posters, in bathroom stalls there are signs about calling sexual assault lines if you've been coerced or forced into sexual activity against your will. Right now the university president is having a coalition on sexual assault and harassment, as while this is a prestigious school academically, the culture of sexual assault and harassment leaves much to be desired and it is something especially undergrad girls must deal with from peers, and which has gotten rug swept, and it's not the random guy in the alley doing it, which makes it even more of a fear.

[Got it]

Even if women have it "easier" at the very beginning stage it is only prudent for her to be conservative of her sexual gifts as she will ultimately be the barrier of the fruits of the union. So since she will be so tied to said fruits, being free with her selection makes little sense.