You're right, women have it easier. Now what?

[Woggle]

I think both genders would make the dating world a little easier for everybody if they tried to understand where the other one was coming from. I used to think women had it easy but that is because I never experienced dating from their point of view. I advise both men and women to try and look at it from the other's point of view.

[OwMyEyeball]

Do women suffer from it more than men do?

Men have a greater tendency to ignore mortality. That's why we do all sorts of kooky things

[Got it]

I am scratching my head trying to understand why is it so hard for some people? Did the people struggling not have an opposite sex sibling? Nothing broke the pedestal in which men were on like having a brother, and all his gruddy friends, acting like fools, trying to give me a nuggy, and compete in spitting contests.

 

There really isn't that much of a difference between the sexes. If you have enough friends of both sexes you see almost everything crosses over and really comes down to the individual.

[veggirl]

Could a few of you men who think average women have men lined up to date them post some pics so we can see what average is to you?

 

Are we talking all age ranges? Or let me guess more like 18-30?

 

IMO average is like...Lena Dunham. Do you think she (if not famous) would have men lined up for her?

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Many of the guys here want women to approach more, thinking women will approach them. No . It'll just be even more clear that women want the other guys instead. Yes, the other guys. There are other guys out there besides the ones complaining here. It's not a problem for them. I say women should continue doing as they are doing. Give me a nod and a wink and I'll take care of the rest. Do all the "work". It's not a big deal.

 

This is dead on. It's becoming abundantly clear that the men who say they want women to apporach more feel that somehow, initial interactions are their only impediment. If you're approaching women and they're not interested, they will be no more interested if the tables were turned.

 

In fact, I believe if women approaching became the standard, even fewer men would have success in dating. Women would likely wish to be nearly certain of mutual interest given that we know a large percentage of men will say yes to a woman out of politeness and with the hope of getting sex at the very least. There's a bit more security against that when the man approaches. In general, men don't approach just to be polite.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

I think both genders would make the dating world a little easier for everybody if they tried to understand where the other one was coming from. I used to think women had it easy but that is because I never experienced dating from their point of view. I advise both men and women to try and look at it from the other's point of view.

 

Well yeah. I believe that rather obvious observation is a sentiment most of us share.

[somedude81]

What I liked is that he was "just nice". I liked that it was simple. I wanted simple. I didn't want stars and Disney fairy tales.

 

There in was my mistake. I continued to project the person I thought he was from the first 6 months onto him for a very long time. ETA - this guy comes across as very sweet to everyone. He comes across as lovely. In reality he just doesn't give a damn, is weak, stupid and pathetic. I refused to see those things because I wanted nice so I settled for what I had.

 

Surely you would have figured that out long before the six month point?

 

Dragging the relationship longer was all on you.

 

You absolutely cannot blame having a bad relationship on the fact that you gave him a chance and went on one date.

[OwMyEyeball]

I think both genders would make the dating world a little easier for everybody if they tried to understand where the other one was coming from. I used to think women had it easy but that is because I never experienced dating from their point of view. I advise both men and women to try and look at it from the other's point of view.

In the spirit of furthering this discussion to a point of reconciliation I table the following Memorandum of Understanding.

 

This Agreement is entered into by and between All Dateable Males on Earth (the "Men") All Dateable Women on Earth (the "Women").

 

1. Men hereby retains the services of Women for a romantic period of no less than one hour (the "Date") deliverable in twelve (12) equal installments, at the beginning of each month, commencing December 1, 2014 and expiring when society is entirely fair, unless extended beyond or earlier terminated, pursuant to the terms hereinafter set out.

 

2. Men hereby accept to inject themselves with powerful, mood and physiology altering hormones (the “Period”) deliverable in twelve (12) equal installments, on the 15th day of each month, commencing December 15, 2014 and expiring when chocolate ice cream, pickles, corny TV programs and drywall repair services are no longer available, unless extended beyond or earlier terminated, pursuant to the terms hereinafter set out.

 

If everyone here could sign as representatives of their respective genders I think we might just have ourselves a bargain.

[Woggle]

I am scratching my head trying to understand why is it so hard for some people? Did the people struggling not have an opposite sex sibling? Nothing broke the pedestal in which men were on like having a brother, and all his gruddy friends, acting like fools, trying to give me a nuggy, and compete in spitting contests.

 

There really isn't that much of a difference between the sexes. If you have enough friends of both sexes you see almost everything crosses over and really comes down to the individual.

 

What you say is true but gender relations are so polarized now that many have begun to see the other as adversaries.

[Woggle]

If I were single the only reason I would not want to approach is I don't want to be seem as a creep. I would never have a problem with rejection because nobody attracts everybody but I would never want to be looked at as some sexual predator because that is just not who I am.

[somedude81]

Everyone's problems are relative. While you might be less likely to be alone, if you had the same personality, attitude, and aspirations (or lack thereof) you'd probably be just as unhappy about something else.

 

I seriously doubt it.

 

 

Plenty of other issues would matter. Why do you think "being a man" is such a plague? I'm a man and I've never had the kind of problems you've described. If I did, I'd accept the reality and deal with them accordingly.

 

Not to be offensive, but knowing what I know about you, it's always sounded like your problems stem from the kind of man you are, not the default fact that you are a man. Plenty of men have no issue with the current social paradigm. If you want girls, you have to "man up" and embrace the process of pursuit. Better yourself until you reach their standards rather than complaining that the world won't adapt to your shortcomings. It's social Darwinism.

 

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

 

I don't have the right kind of personality to succeed as a man in dating.

 

I'm not cocky, outgoing, charming or have a desire to compete. I rather have girls come to me instead of endlessly chasing them. Trying to pursue women is a ton of work and I'm just not good at it.

 

If I was a woman with the female version of my personality and my current level of intelligence and common sense, I would do extremely well in dating/relationships. I would definitely be married by now.

 

Dating difficulty and success is relative. It might be easier for a girl to find a guy to go out with, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have other problems to match. The problems and pain you have are specific to some, but that doesn't discount the different and completely valid problems a women might have. Maybe she can't find the right guy and that's unsettling. Maybe the guys are abusive. Maybe they put too much pressure on her to put out, lose weight, etc. If she's miserable, do you still consider her a "dating success" because she was merely able to attract a man?

 

The problem women experience in dating just seem to be so much easier to deal with then what men have.

 

Any woman who can't find the right guy either isn't trying hard enough, or she's settling for something.

 

If she is in a relationship with an abusive guy, leave him. That also means that she ignored the signs that he would be abusive. Every woman should study up and find out the signs that say when a guy will be controlling and abusive.

 

If there are any serious problems with a guy, leave him. There are tons of great guys out there who want to date her.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

If I were single the only reason I would not want to approach is I don't want to be seem as a creep. I would never have a problem with rejection because nobody attracts everybody but I would never want to be looked at as some sexual predator because that is just not who I am.

 

Yet men approach women every hour of the day and aren't viewed as predators. To say one fears being viewed as a sexual predator is a reason for not approaching feels like little more than an excuse. It should only be a reason to be civil and as opposed to overtly sexual/disrespectful.

 

I get "cold approached" on the street fairly often and consider most of those interactions normal and not completely creepy. However I've had my fair share of "creeps" approach me as well - as I've mentioned in another thread - but their actions clearly went beyond the realms of normal behavior.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

I don't have the right kind of personality to succeed as a man in dating.

 

I'm not cocky, outgoing, charming or have a desire to compete. I rather have girls come to me instead of endlessly chasing them. Trying to pursue women is a ton of work and I'm just not good at it.

 

If I was a woman with the female version of my personality and my current level of intelligence and common sense, I would do extremely well in dating/relationships. I would definitely be married by now.

 

So, you admit then that your struggles are due purely to your own laziness, yes? Because even if women did do the approaching you'd be one of the least likely guys to be in the running.

[Anela]

 

The problem women experience in dating just seem to be so much easier to deal with then what men have.

 

Any woman who can't find the right guy either isn't trying hard enough, or she's settling for something.

 

If she is in a relationship with an abusive guy, leave him. That also means that she ignored the signs that he would be abusive. Every woman should study up and find out the signs that say when a guy will be controlling and abusive.

 

If there are any serious problems with a guy, leave him. There are tons of great guys out there who want to date her.

 

You don't LISTEN. This is just plain ignorant, as well as insulting to so many women out there.

[Woggle]

Yet men approach women every hour of the day and aren't viewed as predators. To say one fears being viewed as a sexual predator is a reason for not approaching feels like little more than an excuse. It should only be a reason to be civil and as opposed to overtly sexual/disrespectful.

 

I get "cold approached" on the street fairly often and consider most of those interactions normal and not completely creepy. However I've had my fair share of "creeps" approach me as well - as I've mentioned in another thread - but their actions clearly went beyond the realms of normal behavior.

 

Maybe you but it is common. I admit I have never watched the video but when I read comments on it it seems some women think even saying hello is harassment. Things are very vague and confusing these days.

[Got it]

What you say is true but gender relations are so polarized now that many have begun to see the other as adversaries.

 

I think this is subjective. While some feel like this, and always have, I don't believe most do. I don't see it in real life as much as on here.

 

Gender relations have always been polarized. They are actually less so than decades ago.

[somedude81]

So, you admit then that your struggles are due purely to your own laziness, yes?

 

Have you read any of my threads?

 

Go check out what I've written and then repost.

[Woggle]

I think this is subjective. While some feel like this, and always have, I don't believe most do. I don't see it in real life as much as on here.

 

Gender relations have always been polarized. They are actually less so than decades ago.

 

Maybe the media and internet make it look worse than it actually is.

[preraph]

1 out of 6 women in the US will be assaulted. Go outside the US, and it's much higher. Anyone who tries to minimize the impact this has on women and how they approach dating and just their day-to-day activities has some reason they don't want to accept the truth. These stats can be found by googling "what percentage of women assaulted" and you'll find answers from everything from the White House to Bureau of Crime Statistics to myriad university studies and women's organization studies.

 

19% of college girls will either be sexually assaulted or have an attempted assault.

 

And all these stats are deceptively low because sexual assault is the most underreported crime.

[clia]

Could a few of you men who think average women have men lined up to date them post some pics so we can see what average is to you?

 

Are we talking all age ranges? Or let me guess more like 18-30?

 

IMO average is like...Lena Dunham. Do you think she (if not famous) would have men lined up for her?

 

Or perhaps Zosia Mamet, Lady Gaga, Sarah Jessica Parker...? I'm also curious to see what we are talking about when the word "average" is being thrown around.

[OwMyEyeball]

Any of you guys want to step away from your Pity Parade for a minute to give a goddamn answer to the initial question:

 

Now what?

[preraph]

I agree with whoever said they don't come across these type of self-pitying complaining guys in real life who don't have the nerve to talk to a woman and sit around stewing because the woman isn't man enough to come make the first move (!?). But on this board and elsewhere online, there's a million of them. I'm beginning to think it's just internet that has made them visible. Otherwise, they'd be at home collecting Hot Wheels or comic books or something and never even get out. Of course, in the earlier days in America, their dads never would have let them show this much fear and inertia. Not sure if that's good or bad....

[Frank2thepoint]

IMO average is like...Lena Dunham. Do you think she (if not famous) would have men lined up for her?

 

Or perhaps Zosia Mamet, Lady Gaga, Sarah Jessica Parker...? I'm also curious to see what we are talking about when the word "average" is being thrown around.

 

To be honest. I'm a man with a healthy sexual appetite, and all of those women to me are attractive. Especially Zosia Mamet. Never even heard of heard until now. I would have been that "creep" that would of approached her and hit on her. Only to find out later she is an actress. I hope she has a nice personality.

[normal person]

I seriously doubt it.

 

Because if people are attracted to you, all your other problems magically disappear, right? Give me a break.

 

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

 

I don't have the right kind of personality to succeed as a man in dating

 

I'm not cocky, outgoing, charming or have a desire to compete. I rather have girls come to me instead of endlessly chasing them. Trying to pursue women is a ton of work and I'm just not good at it.

 

If I was a woman with the female version of my personality and my current level of intelligence and common sense, I would do extremely well in dating/relationships. I would definitely be married by now.

 

This isn't a personal attack, it's a practical argument: If you were a girl, I wouldn't go out with you. Even if you think you're smart and sensical, you've proven time and time again how stubborn and unmindful you can be. That's unattractive. Even if you were good looking enough for me to want to approach you, we'd have problems down the line that'd be as painful as what you feel now for not being able to complete step 1.

 

You think "success" is as simple as having people approach you. It's not. There are so many other facets and nuances to consider before someone is "successful." Having people approach you isn't a magic bullet. Hell, women approach me and I still have dating issues. The issues are equally complex and tiresome, just different. Things don't go my way and I feel pain too.

 

Some people have problems attracting people. Some people have problems maintaining their relationships. Some people have other miscellaneous problems. They're all problems and they all hurt. None of it is easy.

 

The problem women experience in dating just seem to be so much easier to deal with then what men have.

 

Any woman who can't find the right guy either isn't trying hard enough, or she's settling for something.

 

How are you so certain that finding the right person is that simple? Do you know what these women want? And I could easily say any guy who can't find the right girl isn't trying hard enough.

 

If she is in a relationship with an abusive guy, leave him. That also means that she ignored the signs that he would be abusive. Every woman should study up and find out the signs that say when a guy will be controlling and abusive.

 

If there are any serious problems with a guy, leave him. There are tons of great guys out there who want to date her.

 

If the world is so simple and so black and white like that, why don't you just "study up and find out the signs" of what women want and implement them?

[hotpotato]

Why is it okay for a woman to want a masculine man but if a man says he wants a feminine women people call him sexist. BY the way the negative traits given to women in this thread is something neither gender should want to be.

 

Its true, and we should accept it. Men dont want masculine women. Masculine can mean being a better at traditionally male tasks, being too smart, generally being strong and capable. Men want someone they can come in and save. Being masculine for a woman is like a man crying on the first date.

 

I bet a couple people here are deviating from gender norms, which is probably their issue. Im not gonna be the bubbly, talkative stereotypical female, thats ok. Im not going to have the same experiences ("easy") as other women, but I am what I am.