Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 That's the kind of crap I'm talking about. Any man who doesn't fit the stereotype 100% is a homo. My sexuality was questioned because I refused to sleep with this slutty girl who was smashing every guy on campus. She was hot, but I wasn't interested. But if you weren't questioning your sexuality what difference did it make? If an incident like that was enough to shatter your confidence it sounds like one wouldn't be all that wrong to question your masculine. You'll note I said masculinity however and not sexuality. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Lollipopspot, I grew up in a very high crime city and didn't feel this inherant fear of men you speak of. You really live your day to day life avoiding assault and rape? I agree these guys on here are wrong to think women have it easy, but I don't think the average woman is walking around fearing rape. I could be wrong, though. Nope, sounds about right to me. Now maybe I'm just some daredevil with the folly of youth to misguide me but I live in a neighbrhood that has its shadier elements and I still don't have this constant fear of rape women are supposed to be saddled with every moment of ther lives. I really just don't. Never have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 When a man's sexuality is questioned, he is pretty much told he is 'a woman'. How would you feel if your gender was used as an insult? So it's OK for me to comment on a woman's manly mustache? The hairs are still a bit blonde, but with some dye she could really get a serious 'stache under that nose. Muy macho, senor(ita)! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Fine? Really? And get praise and pay for it like a man? Generally no. Compare the salaries of NBA and WNBA players. And get harassed on the job and told that she isn't pulling her weight, sure. A little less fine than if a man can't cook. Depends on the job. Don't know where you're living. If you've seen on this site, it's pretty much the cardinal sin women can commit in terms of appearance, even though a lot of people are fat. It's certainly not fine and most fat women don't feel good about themselves. Fine if you like being called an aggressive b*tch or c*nt. The role for women in gangster rap is as sexualized "b*tches." It's a very misogynistic medium and you're not taken seriously as a performer or listener. You seem to think everything is roses for women. That's cool. Now there is much more acceptance for trans folks, so you might consider changing over. Remember, most women get to live their lives around avoiding rape and sexualized assault. Try not going out at night or being very careful being out somewhere where you find yourself alone in the day (like a parking garage or building) or at night. Watch where you live, where you work (and how you get to and from home safely), how men look at you, if you see a male too often, be careful if you leave a window unlocked, or look to sexy, etc. Average women experience a much higher level of corporal fear/caution on a day to day basis, and work their lives around it, than average men. I realize this seems like nothing at all to men, it's completely discounted (and to some women too, especially those who are much bigger boned or have grown up very protected and don't realize their vulnerability). But I personally would trade the physical freedom of a man for every single perceived (mostly not real) benefit you think women have. I "think" women have? If I am not qualified to say what benefits women enjoy in society.. what makes you qualified to tell me what benefits men have in society? Its funny how you seem to think only your viewpoint is valid... yet get mad at me for having (as you perceive) the same viewpoint. Double standard much? Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Look, I drive around at night. I see single guys walking around downtown and all over my city, I very rarely see women. I'm not talking about the few "certain places" that everyone knows is dangerous, I'm talking about my neighborhood, the downtown in my city, the gym parking lot, the parking lot of my work and back field of my old college, etc. etc. Women aren't putting themselves in situations that men don't think twice about. I'm not sure why many people (even some women) won't get this. In my old college, women were told to get an escort to walk them to their cars at night or from the library, etc. It was often a single man who would walk back to wherever he came from by himself. My ex used to walk me to my car - it wasn't because he was so chivalrous, he was concerned about my safety. It just doesn't happen in the reverse, where a woman walks a man to his car for his safety, then walks back somewhere by herself. My city sponsors self defense classes specifically and only for women. I wonder why that is, since apparently it's equally dangerous for men and women. In Baltimore, I really think it's more dangerous for a guy to be walking around at night, no lie. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 But if you weren't questioning your sexuality what difference did it make? If an incident like that was enough to shatter your confidence it sounds like one wouldn't be all that wrong to question your masculine. You'll note I said masculinity however and not sexuality. You just proved my point and you don't even realize it. Never said my confidence was shattered. The point is.. my sexuality shouldn't even come up in that situation. Also, if what other people say doesn't matter.. what do you care what I say? As long as YOU don't think it then it doesn't matter right? Nice try though. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 So it's OK for me to comment on a woman's manly mustache? The hairs are still a bit blonde, but with some dye she could really get a serious 'stache under that nose. Muy macho, senor(ita)! Funny. But you have to admit, the slurs womanizing men are a lot more frequent than the slurs masculinizing women. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Walking around in public in broad day light? No. We don't Agreed, but I had to go to a parking lot today. It was three stories high and the only parking was on the top. There were cars, but there were no other people. I was not really that comfortable being in a deserted parking lot even though it was day. Most women don't walk around at night by themselves, but I see men alone at night constantly. If there's no difference in safety, I'm not sure why women would be pulling themselves out of the night most places where men have no fear being alone. Anyone who thinks there's no difference have any answers to that? There are women who for their own historical or emotional reasons/bodybuild etc. aren't uncomfortable, but there's no question it's a very common female experience. If you live in NYC in such an area where there are always people around, you may never be alone even when out alone at night. Most areas aren't like that. Most men don't understand the lingering fears of women. When a co-worker complained to her husband she didn't like working the late shift because she was afraid to go to her car, he asked her why she didn't just tuck her blond hair under a baseball cap. It's not that women are perpetually frightened or immobilized by fear. Rather it's that we know we must constantly be wary. We look over our shoulder in the parking lot, hold our keys in our hands as we leave the building, check out who's in the elevator, lock our windows even on a sweltering summer night -- a hundred small gestures that become second nature to a woman. We take precautions a man never considers. I recently spent an afternoon with a single friend while a police officer did a security check of her home. (She didn't want to be alone in her house with a stranger, even though he was a policeman). I doubt many man would have considered such a check necessary. Not long ago a friend of mine called to ask me to stay with her for a few nights. Her husband was leaving town and she didn't want to stay in the house alone. I went because my husband was out of town on the same weekend and I didn't want to stay home alone either. If you're a man this won't make any sense to you. But if you're a woman alone in a big house, doors and windows can keep you up at night. There are plenty of bad guys out there and only a door or a window separates them from us. Though my windows are painted shut, the doors double locked and deadbolted, I still have an escape route plotted out in case I actually hear someone climbing up the steep stairs to the hallway outside the bedroom. I realize this is ridiculous, but who can help the dark demons that the night summons? Do men go through these elaborate scenarios in the dead of the night, trying to map out an escape route? I've never met one who did. But most women I know have a plan. We take precautions. A 49-year-old woman we interviewed for our documentary thought she had taken precautions. She was raped a few months ago in her home when she heard her dog barking and opened the door to let it in. A masked stranger with a knife grabbed her, dragged her into the house and raped her. "I have mace on my keychain, but you don't run outside to see what your dog's barking at with your mace in hand," she says. "Maybe you should go everywhere with it in your hand...." To illustrate, she relates the story of a male student who slept in a passageway of the Great Pyramid in Egypt. "I will never experience that. I am a woman. I am not stupid enough to believe I could ever be safe there. There is a world of solitary adventure I will never have. Women have always known these somber truths."... "Women have well-founded fears," 24-year-old Jason told me. "I understand it, but I've never experienced it. I never plan where I walk the dog or park my car. Why should I? I'm a man." I hold out hope that more men, like Jason, are beginning to understand women's fears and to realize that women have a different reality of their own safety than do men. A Woman's Worst Nightmare Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 This is not the thread to talk about the differences between privileges enjoyed by men and women in our culture because it presupposes that "women have it easier." So let's all just shake hands on that. I must say though that this insipid jealousy about how much better it is to be a woman than a man is NOT an attractive manly trait. Men who enjoy their own masculinity are the sexy ones! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Yes lollipopspot - I forgot indoor parkings. So many places where someone can be hidding... :S Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 This is not the thread to talk about the differences between privileges enjoyed by men and women in our culture because it presupposes that "women have it easier." So let's all just shake hands on that. I must say though that this insipid jealousy about how much better it is to be a woman than a man is NOT an attractive manly trait. Men who enjoy their own masculinity are the sexy ones! And women who stay in the kitchen and make me a sandwich are the sexy ones. See? I can play this game too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 And women who stay in the kitchen and make me a sandwich are the sexy ones. See? I can play this game too. Would she still be sexy if she spent the whole time making your sandwich complaining and whining about how bad she has it as a woman, and how much better all you fellers have it? Does not sound sexy to me! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 And women who stay in the kitchen and make me a sandwich are the sexy ones. See? I can play this game too. And it would be o.k. if you personally preferred a lady like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 And women who stay in the kitchen and make me a sandwich are the sexy ones. See? I can play this game too. Why did you choose this name? You don't seem all that "zen" to me. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Would she still be sexy if she spent the whole time making your sandwich complaining and whining about how bad she has it as a woman, and how much better all you fellers have it? Does not sound sexy to me! A lot sexier than if she went around telling men how to behave and what to complain about. Not really a woman's place in the first place. You should be in the kitchen not playing on the computer. Let me know when you're ready to get back on topic babe. Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Why did you choose this name? You don't seem all that "zen" to me. Does that bother you? Link to post Share on other sites
Tik Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Would she still be sexy if she spent the whole time making your sandwich complaining and whining about how bad she has it as a woman, and how much better all you fellers have it? Does not sound sexy to me! She would be because as I'm watching her blabber on, I'd have realised she was the one having chased me, met my standards and built a relationship with me through thick and thin. I'd walk up to her, remove the butterknife from her hand then kiss her and tease her that she talks to much then guide her to the bedroom and we'll leave the rest to your imagination 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Calm before the storm ... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 A lot sexier than if she went around telling men how to behave and what to complain about. Not really a woman's place in the first place. Hm. You're right. I don't tell men what to complain about irl. He can complain about whatever he wants! It sure wouldn't be about how he was jealous of women "having it easier." Honestly I've never heard of this before, I will have to ask him if he secretly harbors vagina envy! You should be in the kitchen not playing on the computer. I AM in the kitchen! Right this minute! My favorite room in the house, aside from my boudoir, naturally! Let me know when you're ready to get back on topic babe. The topic: Women have it easier. I'm all over that! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Hm. You're right. I don't tell men what to complain about irl. He can complain about whatever he wants! It sure wouldn't be about how he was jealous of women "having it easier." Honestly I've never heard of this before, I will have to ask him if he secretly harbors vagina envy! Why does this topic bother you so much? Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 (edited) Hm. You're right. I don't tell men what to complain about irl. He can complain about whatever he wants! It sure wouldn't be about how he was jealous of women "having it easier." Honestly I've never heard of this before, I will have to ask him if he secretly harbors vagina envy! I've never known a guy IRL who was kind of obsessed with that the way I see here. Most guys I know are generally happy with their lot in life. If anything, they're probably glad not to be female because they don't want to have periods, potentially give birth, fear rape, etc. I've never met a guy (except for a couple trans people I've met) who want to be women! LS is different. Edited November 4, 2014 by lollipopspot Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 The gist I get from some posters are "Im a man so I can judge a woman, but how dare a woman judge me? " Im sorry, but im not gonna screw a man just for being a man. Not anymore anyway. :lol: Men on ls upset that women judge them. Its just another day on ls. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 The gist I get from some posters are "Im a man so I can judge a woman, but how dare a woman judge me? " Im sorry, but im not gonna screw a man just for being a man. Not anymore anyway. :lol: Men on ls upset that women judge them. Its just another day on ls. You think only the men here have that attitude? Either you're bias or not paying attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Does that bother you? Nope, just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Calm before the storm ... This was actually a decent thread about this topic; however, it does appear to be digressing a bit for the last page. Pity. I tend to agree with a lot that both genders have written about and have experiences on both sides of being rejected by men (one even after being in a year long relationship after meeting him on OLD site), have been stalked by one guy a "gave a chance" to after I told him I didn't feel the "chemistry" (he started talking marriage on our first dinner date, admitted to a cocaine problem, issues with his family and didn't like his last girlfriend's kid, so he bolted)...he just couldn't understand why I wasn't attracted to him and didn't want to be his wife. I still say that what people do tend to forget is that it does take time to get to and want to know someone better and that goes beyond initial looks. I met my last BF on OLD, we had very similar interests. He was not physically attractive to me, but his other qualities (personality, character) made me more interested in him. There is truth that you can be the best looking man or woman in the room, sure, someone will sleep with you eventually...but they won't enjoy your company in the long term. A date is not a relationship, dating (one person) is the start of a potential relationship and relationships either form from that or they don't. Link to post Share on other sites
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