Woggle Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Re: don't want those traits at home (boisterous, bossy, etc.) Well, I don't want it at home or anywhere else from men either. And those traits are more common to men than women. I have seen plenty of men who are pretty much robots who do whatever the queen says. I remember I invited a coworker to see a movie that came out which means he would be gone maybe three hours at the most. His wife screamed at him so loud that I could hear it on the other end of the phone from across the room. He had to cancel his plans with me. Pardon me if I don't want to be with a woman that impossible to get along with. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Yeah, an Eve really derailed my career. And she wasn't even smart or good looking. It totally baffled me. But it was the men who enjoyed her flattery and fake neediness and sob story that made it possible. Ack. Sorry to hear that. Bad. The sob story.... It gets 'em. There are a lot of wanna-be Eves in my business. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 I have seen plenty of men who are pretty much robots who do whatever the queen says. I remember I invited a coworker to see a movie that came out which means he would be gone maybe three hours at the most. His wife screamed at him so loud that I could hear it on the other end of the phone from across the room. He had to cancel his plans with me. Pardon me if I don't want to be with a woman that impossible to get along with. Any chance he was one of the guys who were too timid to ask women out when younger and waited for one to take charge? That yelling and being unreasonable and onery with your partner are unfortunately common occurrences on either side of the gender fence. Well, don't have to tell you that. You read these posts about "hasn't texted back," "goes out without me," etc., and by both sexes. I don't endorse any of that. I don't think it's really a gender issue. I wouldn't stay in that type situation your friend has. But I have to say as couples are together and the new wears off, you start having to deal with the conflicts, and every relationship has them. He should bail. That's what I'd tell any of my girlfriends who encountered it. Bail or both of them work on it with counseling. But that yelling and abuse is certainly no more acceptable coming from a man. In fact, it's more threatening and frightening. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 It's not right either way but it's treated as a joke when a man is abused. I saw a woman beating the crap out of her husband at Target and people were actually laughing. I once threw a woman out of my house because her and her husband were there and she couldn't stop putting him down and tearing him to shreds in front of everybody. I got the speech about how I was scared of strong and opinionated women but that crap doesn't fly in my space. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 It's not right either way but it's treated as a joke when a man is abused. I saw a woman beating the crap out of her husband at Target and people were actually laughing. I once threw a woman out of my house because her and her husband were there and she couldn't stop putting him down and tearing him to shreds in front of everybody. I got the speech about how I was scared of strong and opinionated women but that crap doesn't fly in my space. You need not look further than TV commercials. Man gets abused / hit / humiliated and its funny. Put a woman in these commercials and the cries for sexism and misogyny will be heard throughout the lands. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 It's not right either way but it's treated as a joke when a man is abused. I saw a woman beating the crap out of her husband at Target and people were actually laughing. I once threw a woman out of my house because her and her husband were there and she couldn't stop putting him down and tearing him to shreds in front of everybody. I got the speech about how I was scared of strong and opinionated women but that crap doesn't fly in my space. Well, I would never treat it as a joke. I didn't like how my aunt treated her husband. And I wouldn't let someone stay at my house who was doing that either, no matter whether they're male or female. A friend of mine was putting up with a guy who specialized in small putdowns. You know, lots of women will tell themselves that's not worth fighting about because it's so trivial. Once we were at the gas station and she was pumping the gas. He started telling her she was stupid and not doing it right (well, she'd managed to get gas in her car for as long as I'd known her just fine) and she didn't say a word, but I told him if he didn't like it, to get out of the car and pump it himself. Yeesh. But you know, just like with women, you've got to try to get the victims to leave those situations and as you probably know, it's not easy. They may have grown up with something similar or feel they're worthless or whatever and can't do better. It's just always sad. Always. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 You need not look further than TV commercials. Man gets abused / hit / humiliated and its funny. Put a woman in these commercials and the cries for sexism and misogyny will be heard throughout the lands. What commercials are you seeing that on? Admittedly, I DVR nearly everything I watch and skip a lot of commercials. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) This thread was started by an attractive girl in her early 20's who doesn't know the definition of difficult when it comes to dating Oh sure yes of course. Never mind then, close the thread mods because who I am personally absolutely invalidates everything I stated in my OP... It should be noted though that the point of this thread was never intended to be about "difficulty when it comes to dating" nor a debate on who struggles more. In fact, in my opening post I made it clear I was operating under the assumption women had it easier. Men often complain because they struggle to get dates, kisses, anything romantic... Women complain because their bf or SO is being an *******(or insert some complaint). Worlds apart. Way to trivialize what women struggle with when dating. Yes there are legit struggling women and I empathize with them, but they are rare. There is a struggling guy making a thread here every week.... I think complaining and frustration is just a normal process many guys go through. They will get over it and so can everyone else who has to listen to it. See above. And also yes, so rare in fact that half the women (or more) in this thread have discussed their own various and sundry struggles. Rare indeed. Edited November 5, 2014 by Lernaean_Hydra 4 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 I was called intimidating flat out by the ex. Btdt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Women want relationships with the guys who only want to get sex from them. That's the problem most women have. They never seem to want the guys who actually see them as more than a piece of azz. Most of the perpetually single women I know would rather sleep with better looking guys who are just trying to get laid than actually spend time with a regular guy who wants something more. I see it all the time. I can see what you are saying enigma32. I'm glad I'm not like that.* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 This thread was started by an attractive girl in her early 20's who doesn't know the definition of difficult when it comes to dating Really? How many times have you brought someone home only to listen to a handicapped child screaming and bashing things with a metal baseball bat? I'm guessing a few dozen tops. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Women want relationships with the guys who only want to get sex from them. That's the problem most women have. They never seem to want the guys who actually see them as more than a piece of azz. Most of the perpetually single women I know would rather sleep with better looking guys who are just trying to get laid than actually spend time with a regular guy who wants something more. I see it all the time. Here we go, painting less attractive men as wonderful because tgey are less attractive. Trying to get into a womans pants is nothing exclusive to good looking men, not by a long shot. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 Really? How many times have you brought someone home only to listen to a handicapped child screaming and bashing things with a metal baseball bat? I'm guessing a few dozen tops. Wow, so meta. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 Here we go, painting less attractive men as wonderful because they are less attractive. Trying to get into a womans pants is nothing exclusive to good looking men, not by a long shot. Thank you! Why less attractive guys are regarded as some kind of Holy Grail/Diamond-in-the-Rough I'll never know because in my experience, that is far from the case. Average or even "ugly" =/= great partner or romantic prospect nor does it mean their intentions are somehow guaranteed to be more "honorable". Fun fact: last month I went out on a date with a less conventionally attractive guy from *the very site you're on now. He'd posted a lot about his struggles with women and seemed nice so I figured, hey, why not? How do you think things played out? *No I'm not saying who. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Extremely attractive men, who are besieged for women who won't let go, come closer to understand what it is like to be an attractive woman, I will say that. As for if handsome ones are more ruthless or whatever, I've not seen that, but then I have decent radar and can kind of filter that out. I can usually tell when someone is a shallow using jerk. I've seen some less attractive guys who have so much ire for women because of not being popular that they are are never going to treat one right. Not saying that's all or most of them. The most attractive guys mostly will eventually end up going after girls who are more of a challenge because they get really tired of women who just roll over for them, but I will agree it can take some time for any man to get to that point where they're not taking every woman who is offering herself up to them with no strings attached, and it becomes a sign of maturity. The one I always loved really didn't like those women who were all over him. He motioned for me to help peel one off of him at a bar once. She was trying to pull him out the door. And he was never a jerk to any women. He always tried to handle them with kid gloves and not hurt them. In my old crowd, the guys didn't just judge on a woman's beauty, either. They liked girls who were into the same things they were, music, art, whatever, in a deep sense, not in a pedestrian sense. All of them had a crush on this girl who was not at all good looking but played bass. She never did date any of them. I always wondered why. Sure, their heads turned at just plain old beauty and good body and all that, but for the most part they dated their peers who they had stuff in common with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Here we go, painting less attractive men as wonderful because tgey are less attractive. Trying to get into a womans pants is nothing exclusive to good looking men, not by a long shot. I think you are twisting his words, and totally missing his point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 I think you are twisting his words, and totally missing his point. How so? From Enigma's post that was certainly the gist I got as well. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Thank you! Why less attractive guys are regarded as some kind of Holy Grail/Diamond-in-the-Rough I'll never know because in my experience, that is far from the case. Average or even "ugly" =/= great partner or romantic prospect nor does it mean their intentions are somehow guaranteed to be more "honorable". Fun fact: last month I went out on a date with a less conventionally attractive guy from *the very site you're on now. He'd posted a lot about his struggles with women and seemed nice so I figured, hey, why not? How do you think things played out? *No I'm not saying who. Oh you didnt know? Dating a less attractive man will solve ALL your dating woes! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Women want relationships with the guys who only want to get sex from them. That's the problem most women have. They never seem to want the guys who actually see them as more than a piece of azz. Most of the perpetually single women I know would rather sleep with better looking guys who are just trying to get laid than actually spend time with a regular guy who wants something more. I see it all the time. My older brother said he turned down a relationship with a really cute girl but She ended up being his "FWB" for a several months. But during that whole time she was turning down dudes who were interested in dating her trying to bang her way into changing my brothers mind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 I've always found it strange that some people (men moreso than women) even care about which gender has it easier. I mean, there's like 145,253 more important things in the world to worry about... I suspect that a solid majority of men and women, including the VAST majority of people that are currently or formerly in happy LTRs, don't and never have given a damn about who has it "easier" in dating (or life in general). They understand and accept that the world is unequal, everyone is different and reacts differently to various stimuli, and life isn't and never will be fair. They simply deal with it, are accustomed to it and don't let it bother them. And they try to make the most of themselves. And they go after what they want...if they don't get it, no biggie. People are far more likely to like those who have substance and fun in their lives and are productive with their time. Boohooing on the internet about the mythical 80/20 stuff ain't productive; it's wasteful. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 How so? From Enigma's post that was certainly the gist I got as well. Yep. Another one of those date an ugly dude posts. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 How so? From Enigma's post that was certainly the gist I got as well. Geez. He said "regular guy". Not "wonderful". He also pointed out regular guys that didn't see her as just another piece of azz. Look, you don't have to date these guys, and you don't even have to like them as people, but you don't have to bash them either. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) Geez. He said "regular guy". Not "wonderful". He also pointed out regular guys that didn't see her as just another piece of azz. Look, you don't have to date these guys, and you don't even have to like them as people, but you don't have to bash them either. How is he sure they dont see her as a piece of azz? Good looking men arent the only ones who get horny... No one is bashing less attractive dudes. We are simply pointing out that being a regular dude doesnt mean hes endowed with pure intentions by default. Edited November 5, 2014 by hotpotato 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 There are some women who only seem to want men who want just sex. A former FWB had plenty of men who even she admits were very good looking looking to be with her but she was obsessed with me who only wanted her as a FWB. There are some who seem to have want what you can't have syndrome. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 Geez. He said "regular guy". Not "wonderful". He also pointed out regular guys that didn't see her as just another piece of azz. Yes, but both she and I pointed out the fact that regular guys were no less likely to see a woman as a piece of ass than a good-looking guy Look, you don't have to date these guys, and you don't even have to like them as people, but you don't have to bash them either. I don't understand this. What guys? Regular guys? I date regular guys, most women do. I just...what even is a "regular guy"? And no one's bashing anybody as far a I can tell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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