You're right, women have it easier. Now what?

[MrNate 2.0]

I mostly agree but something should be remembered, many of these lads have never had a strong father in their life to teach them and set the example. They're having to learn as adults what the rest of us learnt as boys. They're learning it from drongos and bellends on youtube rather than someone who genuinely cares about them. I can't imagine how tough that must be.

 

Sure, they can be whiny, frustrating and easy targets to ridicule, but they don't have it easy.

 

Secondly, some fellas do get completely screwed over by women and often the internet is the only place they can vent. Once upon a time it might have been the fella propping up the bar and bending an listening ear. It does no harm to let them vent for while. Mostly all they want is the equivalent of bartender to nod their head and give them a few minutes of his day, then they go back to their life and struggles.

 

This was very, very good.

 

That is probably the one reason I can't get too angry at some of these dudes here. Especially when I can relate to a degree. I've never met my dad either. I managed to somehow get in touch with him thanks to some relatives on that side, but when I called him, he adamantly refused to think he had another son. (Even though we look just alike.) My mom knew it was him too.

 

I've never been more angry, sad and ashamed in my life that day.

 

I became the man of the house at 4 years old with a little brother and sister in tow. I've grown up learning as much as I can to the best of my ability. I don't have a problem attracting women. However, I'm not an intimate man, because I don't know what that looks like. It's not something I grew up seeing at home. I don't do family pictures either. My brother and sis are the same way.

 

The reason I don't argue as much with those guys is because on one hand, I understand. They probably have some kind of issue in their upbringing. And as a guy, your upbringing is crucial to what kind of man you become.

 

The only thing I hope for those guys in this forum is to try something different. Don't blame anyone- not women, yourself, or society. Face your fears, and be the best man you can be. Just because you grew up a certain way doesn't mean you can't change.

 

You can.

[OwMyEyeball]

Yes, but women will sleep with the top 20% and chase those men, while settling for the other 80% only when they fail with those men.

 

This is common knowledge.

That can be expanded to just about anyone's behaviour towards any desired thing.

 

We all want the best.

 

What one calls "settling" others call "acceptance".

[Woggle]

I don't think women have it easier. Both genders have it hard in their own ways. Truthfully nobody seems happy anymore. Happy relationships seem few and far in between nowadays. Something has gone seriously wrong these days and it is up to both men and women to fix it if people actually want to fix it.

 

That being said most of these guys are just venting. I don't see why some frustrated guys venting online bothers some people so much. Everybody needs an outlet sometimes.

[ufo8mycat]

But you do admit that women have it easier. It would be nice if women admitted this, at the very least.

 

It would also be nice if you acknowledged that this is not some universally agreed fact but your opinion. Not all women DO agree with this statement as it has not been their experience.

[ThaWholigan]

I don't think women have it easier. Both genders have it hard in their own ways. Truthfully nobody seems happy anymore. Happy relationships seem few and far in between nowadays. Something has gone seriously wrong these days and it is up to both men and women to fix it if people actually want to fix it.

 

That being said most of these guys are just venting. I don't see why some frustrated guys venting online bothers some people so much. Everybody needs an outlet sometimes.

At some point though, that continuous "venting" crosses a line. I'd imagine that it might get jarring for a woman posting on a forum where every now and then a portion of the men are making threads that are thinly-veiled attacks, which are then disguised as mere "discussions/debates" when said attacks are called out. On top of the whining, it gets old. I'm a man, and it gets on my nerves sometimes!

 

And it's not like I haven't been frustrated either. But I guess my frustrations aren't leveled at women at large, or a mythical band of 20% going around f*cking everything .

 

Also, I've seen fatherhood addressed, and while that is certainly a factor, I don't think it's as much of an impact as some may think. Some of the men I've known who find it easier to get women have been raised by mothers alone. If you're a naturally masculine child, no amount of absent fatherhood is going to change that, you'll always be masculine and want to do mostly masculine things. What we are seeing now though, is an age where femininity in a man is less discouraged - although it still carries negative connotations, much like women with mostly masculine interests. So some men who are feminine and are raised by mothers have a double-whammy. They do need to be encouraged to balance out their characters by embracing their masculine side IMO, but I reckon that this is not the reason they fail with women.

[preraph]

I just have a hard time accepting that there is even a competition of who has it easy or not.

 

It's also very insulting to be told over and over again that none of our dating, sex, love or relationship problems are valid just because there are usually some guys who would be willing to have sex with us.

 

Yeah, well, that's the difference. Guys mainly want sex. Women mainly want love. Some women can get sex if they're not picky, but getting love at a level they're capable of is really hard to find.

[Woggle]

Yeah, well, that's the difference. Guys mainly want sex. Women mainly want love. Some women can get sex if they're not picky, but getting love at a level they're capable of is really hard to find.

 

This is as much a stereotype as some of the crap the misogynists post. Men want love as much as anybody else and finding genuine love for either gender is very very hard these days.

[preraph]

Men will simply have to stop approaching women, and paying them attention.

 

 

We all know that would never happen, but if we imagine that it did, the result would be women being forced to put in more effort and actually approach men and win the male's affection for a change.

 

Oh, please. Men put in more effort? Do men put on makeup every morning, style their hair, and put on a chest lifting device and high heels to make themselves more attractive? I don't think so. What DO they do to make themselves more attractive?

 

Once married with kids, do men put in more effort? Really? I'm not saying some don't put in close to equal, but women with kids have a much tougher day than men with a job. And a lot of women have both a job AND kids and take care of their whiney husband.

 

For the record, I've always approached any men I was interested in. I've made sure I met them. I've done my part. You know what it mainly gets you? A guy who assumes this means you are easy and that you'll have no more expectations than to have sex with him.

[Diezel]

Guys mainly want sex. Women mainly want love.

 

Very dangerous misconception, when it comes to both men and women. I think those lines and categories have been blurred over the past few years.

[preraph]

I'd like women to admit this fact.

 

Those of us that are unattractive have enough of a difficult time as it is. We really don't need to be constantly told that we're defective internally. We already know that we are defective externally so this doesn't help. I'd just like some understanding.

 

With that said, I am doing all that I can to change my situation. I think most people don't realize how difficult it truly is for a short and ugly guy.

 

Well, except, of course, for a short and ugly girl! Light bulb: That's who you're supposed to be dating.

[Woggle]

Oh, please. Men put in more effort? Do men put on makeup every morning, style their hair, and put on a chest lifting device and high heels to make themselves more attractive? I don't think so. What DO they do to make themselves more attractive?

 

Once married with kids, do men put in more effort? Really? I'm not saying some don't put in close to equal, but women with kids have a much tougher day than men with a job. And a lot of women have both a job AND kids and take care of their whiney husband.

 

For the record, I've always approached any men I was interested in. I've made sure I met them. I've done my part. You know what it mainly gets you? A guy who assumes this means you are easy and that you'll have no more expectations than to have sex with him.

 

Women do that more to impress other women than to impress men.

[NGC1300]

Guys mainly want sex. Women mainly want love.

 

BS.

 

Male suicide over breakups is a common occurrence. With women, it's almost unheard of.

 

Men tend to love more deeply than women. Women just seem to love what the male can provide them with physically, financially, and emotionally.

[preraph]

This is as much a stereotype as some of the crap the misogynists post. Men want love as much as anybody else and finding genuine love for either gender is very very hard these days.

 

Yeah, but a lot of them are not willing to love anyone but a hot body. The ones whining about it are the ones we're talking about. If love is their priority, they wouldn't act like five year olds when they can't get the hot girl!

[preraph]

BS.

 

Male suicide over breakups is a common occurrence. With women, it's almost unheard of.

 

Men tend to love more deeply than women. Women just seem to love what the male can provide them with physically, financially, and emotionally.

 

So you seriously think suicide is the ultimate proof of love? It's the ultimate proof of narcissistic behavior, not being able to accept reality.

[JuneJulySeptember]

At some point though, that continuous "venting" crosses a line. I'd imagine that it might get jarring for a woman posting on a forum where every now and then a portion of the men are making threads that are thinly-veiled attacks, which are then disguised as mere "discussions/debates" when said attacks are called out. On top of the whining, it gets old. I'm a man, and it gets on my nerves sometimes!

 

And it's not like I haven't been frustrated either. But I guess my frustrations aren't leveled at women at large, or a mythical band of 20% going around f*cking everything .

 

It's only continuous venting because you choose to see it as such.

 

What I see is men maybe used to start or engage in gender threads every day, but have backed off because they realize not only does it fuel their anger, it is unproductive.

 

And eventually time heals all wounds. And wounds are responsible for the venting.

 

Look at Somedude. He used to be on these threads every day, complaining about women. Do you see him on here? He and I have actually had private conversations about that.

 

Man, I used to jump in these threads and attack women for turning down men or not feeling attraction for them and make them feel guilty about it.

 

Like I said, there is progress if you choose to see it.

[Snaggletooth]

But you do admit that women have it easier. It would be nice if women admitted this, at the very least.

 

Have you ever watched the Bowerbird at work? He builds an intricate nest, more of cathedral than a nest, then adorns it with flowers and berries. When a female arrives he then does a dance. Whether or not he gets the female depends on the nest, flowers and dance. Not once, even though he has slogged his guts out, does he say to her "Meh, you have it easier, admit it". No matter how true it may be, that's not going to get his little birdie willy wet.

 

If his efforts fail to land some little birdie pussy he may go off to sing some birdie blues, there's nothing wrong with that, he's turning his lament into a song others can enjoy, but as was once written "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever feeling sorry for itself. ".

 

Like it or not, the laws of your life are the same. You're the man, you're the wild thing. What do you want to do? Never get the girl or learn from the birdie?

[NGC1300]

So you seriously think suicide is the ultimate proof of love? It's the ultimate proof of narcissistic behavior, not being able to accept reality.

 

Maybe they have accepted reality, and in that moment accepted it's easier to remove themselves from that reality. The "morality" of it is another argument.

 

I wouldn't say it's proof men love more deeply, but the statistics are telling, especially since we've all been conditioned to believe women are the more emotional gender.

[carhill]

I used to use the bowerbird example when younger and the really cool thing I learned from life is that what attention to and love of detail brings is a really cool nest to enjoy in one's later years, regardless of which female, or none, found the bower to be attractive. It's the process that was satisfying and valuable. So, if the women walk by without a sideward glance, that's how it goes!

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Men will simply have to stop approaching women, and paying them attention.

 

We all know that would never happen, but if we imagine that it did, the result would be women being forced to put in more effort and actually approach men and win the male's affection for a change.

 

In a theoretical sense, the desired outcome would be that women would hit on and ask out those men. If those men were rejecting women they found unattractive on a fairly regular basis, you could bet it would be much less likely they would be complaining about women being too picky.

 

In all honesty, as inflammatory as my OP may have seemed, I was legitimately looking for answers. You two have certainly gotten the ball rolling in the way of that! I'm beginning to sense a common theme of hoping the tables are turned or some such.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Yes, but women will sleep with the top 20% and chase those men, while settling for the other 80% only when they fail with those men.

 

This is common knowledge.

 

If by "common knowledge" you mean "commonly perpetuated myth" then yes, you're absolutely right.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Yeah, but a lot of them are not willing to love anyone but a hot body. The ones whining about it are the ones we're talking about. If love is their priority, they wouldn't act like five year olds when they can't get the hot girl!

 

THANK YOU! I've had it up to here with this very common denominator being ignored. It's not just women and love these guys are after and feeling sulky about not getting. It's the love and sex of a hot woman. The air of entitlement to young, attractive women is astounding at times.

[MrNate 2.0]

THANK YOU! I've had it up to here with this very common denominator being ignored. It's not just women and love these guys are after and feeling sulky about not getting. It's the love and sex of a hot woman. The air of entitlement to young, attractive women is astounding at times.

 

 

I think we have officially hit the spot where I start to cook up my popcorn.

[Woggle]

Pretty much everybody wants a hot woman or man. Women care about physical attraction as much as any man. I am not going to judge women for it because sexual attraction is human nature but people shouldn't be hypocritical about it.

 

I admit that when I had a sort of casual relationship with a woman who was attractive enough to be a model it felt great walking down the street and being seen with her. Maybe that makes me shallow but if anybody man or woman is honest with themselves they would like it as well.

 

I have the total package now though and her personality is just as beautiful as her outside and that is the only kind of woman I will commit to.

[Snaggletooth]

I used to use the bowerbird example when younger and the really cool thing I learned from life is that what attention to and love of detail brings is a really cool nest to enjoy in one's later years, regardless of which female, or none, found the bower to be attractive. It's the process that was satisfying and valuable. So, if the women walk by without a sideward glance, that's how it goes!

 

 

Hell, I like my nest so much I'm not sure I ever want share it. I can sing my song and bask my balls in the sunshine without a henpeck in sight. What you learn in getting there is what keeps the frost at bay.

[MrNate 2.0]

Pretty much everybody wants a hot woman or man. Women care about physical attraction as much as any man. I am not going to judge women for it because sexual attraction is human nature but people shouldn't be hypocritical about it.

 

I admit that when I had a sort of casual relationship with a woman who was attractive enough to be a model it felt great walking down the street and being seen with her. Maybe that makes me shallow but if anybody man or woman is honest with themselves they would like it as well.

 

I have the total package now though and her personality is just as beautiful as her outside and that is the only kind of woman I will commit to.

 

This is true too. Let's be honest here: everyone wants someone they find irresistible. And yes, also the ego boost knowing that others find them attractive.

 

Social proof is a big deal for humans. Always has been.