Can being inexperience be a reason for a gf to cheat?

[NorvilleR]

Though it was been a long while since dumping my cheating ex gf, once in a while I still wonder if being inexperience can make a girl cheat on you. From time to time it still hurts and it's part of the reason I'm now single and have been for the longest. I do want to eventually get back into the dating world but don't feel ready yet.

 

I was a couple months shy of turning 19 when I had my first gf. We did it within about 4 months into the relationship. It was my first time but not hers; she knew it because I never lied about it.

 

Long story short, it was in the following year that I found out through a friend of hers that cheated. The worse part is cheated with 3 guys and one of them was my friend Nathan from our HS years. She tried to apologized and claiming on now knowing why, etc but I dumped her (I got stupid once and was about to take her back until I found her into a dating site). It sucks that now at the age of 24, this is the only experience I got; of a serial cheater I trusted at the time. Then again, not sure if I was kind of at fault too for my inexperience and being a bit shy then.

[Michelle ma Belle]

There is NEVER a good reason to cheat. Period.

 

If you love someone but have concerns about something, you COMMUNICATE not run off and shtupe other people.

 

Cheating is a choice.

 

I know break-ups are hard even at the best of times but try not to over think this one too much. Your girlfriend was an idiot and you should be grateful she's out of your life so you can find someone more deserving of you.

 

Good luck.

[ExpatInItaly]

She cheated because she was selfish and not mature enough to just break up with you if the relationship wasn't working for her.

[NorvilleR]

Thank you for the reply Michelle ma Belle.

Though, I wish I had known this on time before losing it to her. At the time, it was a special moment and now I'll permanently have this tainted memory.

 

 

Then things just doesn't get better:

Just yesterday (after all this time of going NC with her), she had the nerve to call me. Stupid me for answering and listening to her. She went on apologizing, begging me not to hang up. That's not all. She went on explaining about how her aunt having terminal cancer and asking if I could lend her $100 and that she'll pay it back. Was nearly about to click until she told her about her aunt.

 

I used to get along with her family great and the break up was so bitter and sad for me.

[NJ123]

Thank you for the reply Michelle ma Belle.

Though, I wish I had known this on time before losing it to her. At the time, it was a special moment and now I'll permanently have this tainted memory.

 

 

Then things just doesn't get better:

Just yesterday (after all this time of going NC with her), she had the nerve to call me. Stupid me for answering and listening to her. She went on apologizing, begging me not to hang up. That's not all. She went on explaining about how her aunt having terminal cancer and asking if I could lend her $100 and that she'll pay it back. Was nearly about to click until she told her about her aunt.

 

I used to get along with her family great and the break up was so bitter and sad for me.

 

What did she need the $100 for... Just seems really suspicious to me.

[NorvilleR]

Her aunt has terminal cancer. Well that's what she said and everyone is trying to help out while they can so she asked if I could help out with $100. I would find it very disturbing if someone even lies about that.

 

I'm still upset that I had to hear from her again.

Edited November 3, 2014 by NorvilleR

[NJ123]

Her aunt has terminal cancer. Well that's what she said and everyone is trying to help out while they can so she asked if I could help out with $100. I would find it very disturbing if someone even lies about that.

 

I'm still upset that I had to hear from her again.

 

Yeah, that's what I mean. I seriously hope she isn't lying about that too. That would be EXTREMELY cold, like sociopathic cold behavior if that's the case. It just seems weird of all people she asked you for $100 though. That's why I asked.

[Michelle ma Belle]

DO NOT GIVE HER THE MONEY!

 

Unless there is some formal benefit in her aunt's honor to help with her expenses due to her diagnosis DO NOT GIVE HER ANY MONEY.

 

This girl sounds like a piece of work. Go back to NC and block her number if you have to.

[MrBossMan]

1. Do NOT give her the money. She has already proven that she is not an honest person. Even if it were true, let insurance cover it. $100 is a drop in the bucket for the price of that kind of treatment. I think she's one of those sick people who get off on deceiving people.

 

2. NO CONTACT, no exceptions. Block her number, block her on any social media, chat, etc. No more replying EVER. Allowing yourself to be strung along never ends well.

 

Work on your self-esteem.

[Spectre]

If you give her money then just give her your balls too. Tell her to go ask the dudes she cheated with for money. There was 3 so hey, bonus! They do not even need to chip in $100 each. She can divide up the money between them, sort of like she divided her time with you and banging other dudes like a piece of trash.

 

Also no, being inexperienced is no reason to cheat. See, some people seem to think taking a lot of d*ck equates to life experience, they feel they are missing something if they haven't done this. But don't be fooled, it's not. If you are truly in love you can be sexually satisfied with that one person, even if you were never with anyone else. There is no ancient key to wisdom in the penis of some other dude.

[Spectre]

I lost count of the amount of times people told my ex-girlfriend that she was too young to settle for one guy. That she should spread her legs, sorry, wings. Her mum's slutty friend (who's cheated on her terminally ill husband) would always say things like "Aww you're perfect for each other, it's a shame you've met so soon" There seems to be a lot of peer pressure on women to sleep around, not from men but from other women and feminist media.

 

The sad thing is you are right, because a lot of women these days equate banging a bunch of dudes with sexual freedom and not being sexually oppressed. There are some that do genuinely believe there is a problem if you haven't taken a sizeable amount of d*cks in you. It boggles the mind at times.

 

I mean, I get that in the past women were looked down for showing any type of sexuality that wasn't the norm then, but some feel that in the present day the only way to remedy the injustices of the past is d*ck and lots of it. This is not all women, of course, but it's alarming how many I've seen with this attitude. I know guys can also be the same way, but it really does seem at times like certain women feel they need to really make up for the sexual mistreatment of the women from generations before them.

[Darren Steez]

Her aunt has terminal cancer. Well that's what she said and everyone is trying to help out while they can so she asked if I could help out with $100. I would find it very disturbing if someone even lies about that.

 

I'm still upset that I had to hear from her again.

 

What exactly does help out mean? Sorry to be callous but this is not YOUR aunt, there are many ways you could get money, i.e selling cookies or entering a marathon and getting people to pledge money..

 

also..how much of a d*ck does it make you look asking for your money back when her aunt has died..makes YOU look callous doesn't it?

 

Disentangle yourself from this girl because she sounds like bad news.

 

oh don't give her the money. Tell her you send a prayer for her.

[Chi townD]

Actually, a lot of girls like a guy that doesn't have too much experience. You have to look at THEIR big picture of you. You're showing them that you're not a man whore. That you only hook up with the people you care about, and that sex is important to you that you'll only share yourself with someone you really love.

 

 

That's nothing to be ashamed about. This wasn't your fault. So, don't start thinking that it is. You just picked the wrong girl.

[pteromom]

No her cheating had nothing to do with you. There was something lacking within HER that led her to making that choice, not once, but THREE times (which shows it wasn't a mistake she then learned from, but a pattern.)

 

People don't typically cheat for better sex. They may cheat because they are immature and haven't learned to say no. They may cheat because they have a hole inside their heart and try to fill it with new and different people desiring them. They may cheat because they easily fall victim to flirting and sweet words. They may cheat because they enjoy the manipulation and being the "winner" in the relationship.

 

There is a lot of psychology that goes into possible reasons for cheating.

 

But it's not your fault she's a cheater. And luckily, you don't have to deal with it anymore.

 

And don't give her money. She lost the right to your wallet when she chose to lose you.

[NorvilleR]

Thank you all. I'm staying out of it.

I agree that more women have been changing and going too far with this sexual liberation attitude that it's harder for us to find a faithful, good woman.

 

Chi townD,

Yes, I picked the wrong girl and can't change history. At the time I thought she was the one and probably would have been engaged by now if wasn't for her cheatings.

 

Would like to get back to the dating world again but not sure if I should anytime sooner. For now, it feels like talking to a stranger all over again, starting all over and taking a risk. I don't want to undergo this again.

[smackie9]

Good god sexual liberation has nothing to do with cheating. People cheated since the beginning of time, more so than you think.

 

If you are so bitter about this girl, how is it that she is able to communicate with you? Did you not delete and block her number? And why did you even bother answering her call?? You just victimized yourself for doing so. Stop being regretful about giving up you V card to her. The majority of people who do, will, or already have broken up with that person anyways, so this is normal. Just reflect on how you felt when it happened for you, stop tainting the memory by thinking about what she did.....time to let it go, because everytime you get upset you are letting her win. Time to rise above it and move on.

[SawtoothMars]

Thank you all. I'm staying out of it.

I agree that more women have been changing and going too far with this sexual liberation attitude that it's harder for us to find a faithful, good woman.

Chi townD,

Yes, I picked the wrong girl and can't change history. At the time I thought she was the one and probably would have been engaged by now if wasn't for her cheatings.

Would like to get back to the dating world again but not sure if I should anytime sooner. For now, it feels like talking to a stranger all over again, starting all over and taking a risk. I don't want to undergo this again.

 

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that YES women will often cheat on inexperienced guys.

 

Truth is that it isn't the sexual inexperience that usually does it... it's the relationship experience. You will be surprised how much you can learn about how to be a good BF or H in a relationship. Sometimes we make silly mistakes like being too passive or not controlling your anger... ect.

[smackie9]

When I was cheated on it was because he lacked experience and caved into temptation. I was his very first relationship, and he had only been with one other girl sexually (the one he gave his V to). Our relationship was solid, intense, but that got blown apart by one drunken night, and an agressive woman. So the inexperience will cheat too.

[Chi townD]

 

Would like to get back to the dating world again but not sure if I should anytime sooner. For now, it feels like talking to a stranger all over again, starting all over and taking a risk. I don't want to undergo this again.

 

 

 

Dude, take your time and heal from this. You gave your V card to her and that has a very intimate and emotional attachment to that. But, to be honest, there are not a lot of people that are married that lost their virginity to each other anymore. And even less that remain married.

 

 

Take your time and heal.

[Spectre]

Good god sexual liberation has nothing to do with cheating. People cheated since the beginning of time, more so than you think.

 

Nobody said sexual liberation had to do with cheating nor did anyone imply cheating hasn't been around for a long time. If you actually read what was specifically said you'd know this. Sexual liberation wasn't blamed on the cheating, but rather for this attitude some people have of "sex with a bunch of different people equates to life experience!" and the implication someone is missing out on something if they don't. Cheating could certainly be a result of that, but it was never said it always causes it or that cheating wasn't a thing until recently.

[smackie9]

You can jiggy it all around all you want, that is what you are implying anyways.

[NorvilleR]

If you are so bitter about this girl, how is it that she is able to communicate with you? Did you not delete and block her number? And why did you even bother answering her call?? You just victimized yourself for doing so.

I know. It was dumb for me to even want to hear what she had to say. Like stated, I was close to hanging up but she was practically beggining me not me. I haven't heard from her again and hopefully that was the last time. The reason I didn't block her is because after going NC with her for that long and deleting her number (which I didn't recognize it) of my contact list, I didn't think she would have the nerve to call me after all this time, much less ask for money.

 

Stop being regretful about giving up you V card to her. The majority of people who do, will, or already have broken up with that person anyways, so this is normal. Just reflect on how you felt when it happened for you, stop tainting the memory by thinking about what she did.....time to let it go, because everytime you get upset you are letting her win. Time to rise above it and move on.

I understand many people break up eventually but that can be considered natural and maybe the relationship got stale. However, getting cheating on is worse than if that person simply just breaks up with you, esp when you have been lied to for a while and had to find out by someone else.

I'll be taking my time. It's a bit harder trying to think of the good times when practically the whole relationship was a lie. Thanks.

[NorvilleR]

Dude, take your time and heal from this. You gave your V card to her and that has a very intimate and emotional attachment to that. But, to be honest, there are not a lot of people that are married that lost their virginity to each other anymore. And even less that remain married.

 

 

Take your time and heal.

Thank you. I'll give it a couple months and afterwards, will start again.

[todreaminblue]

i am ex hooker and i have had guys cheat on me...its not the inexperience that makes anyone cheat......its a lack of maturity, its in not knowing what you truly want, its thinking the grass is greener its alcohol its drugs its whatever its lack of control.....but what it does come down to ......is an unfaithful heart..maybe satan....i believe demons can get to work in unfaithful hearts and they work hard......i have seen demons clocking hours in people...with no conscience or past regret for behaving horribly to another..they actually need prayers nto more sex...but anyway......

 

 

 

you can change the external, you can even change your mind, but most cant change their heart...it takes a real self realization for that to happen a real turning point or happening........and a firm desire in knowing right from wrong and wanting to achieve right all the time to be the best person you can be and to be a joy and to bring joy to another and those around you........and sometimes it takes a lot of mistakes to change a heart........its not you......honestly....its in them to change...you being more experienced......wouldnt have made a difference........deb..........

[Haerts]

Would like to get back to the dating world again but not sure if I should anytime sooner. For now, it feels like talking to a stranger all over again, starting all over and taking a risk. I don't want to undergo this again.

 

You had bad luck. Just like I did. I'm 24 and my first (and only) boyfriend appeared in my life 3 months ago; after a month seeing each other, we decided to be gf/bf. A month after that, we broke up. Before that one guy, I've been with numerous guys who treated me like a piece of ****; or if they were good to me, I wouldn't give them a chance. My ex was the first one to make me feel like "finally someone that I like and likes me back" and guess what, turns out we didn't like each other that much. I've been with other guys after him though, none so far have interested me as much, but I'm fine with myself and I know I should just keep going.

 

So you're not the only one. What I'm trying to tell you is that everything in your life will be a risk. You have two choices though: you either sit there in your comfort zone or you go ahead and take a risk, hoping for the best to come. I would rather take a risk than not trying at all, even if it means I may fail a few times. As long as you're still trying, eventually someone who's worth it WILL APPEAR. Put something in your head: if you exist and you're like that, chances are someone like you might exist too.

 

Whenever you feel ready, keep trying, don't give up. Don't simply watch the years pass by 'cause of your fears. Go ahead and try! Also, work on you meanwhile. Go to a gym, jog, try to eat more healthy, do things you enjoy, focus on your stuff and that will automatically make you feel better about yourself. Believe that, it does work. I wish the best of luck for you!

 

AND PLEASE: IGNORE your ex.