Author Hungryhorse Posted March 15, 2005 Author Share Posted March 15, 2005 Hi there, thanks for your responses, fraid I tend to agree with Topaze, it helped to know I wasn’t the only one who had experienced this with internet dating, in the past I have thought I was going mad! I found much the same people as she met, I met a range of stalkers, plus one getting stalked by their dad! weirdos, blackmailers, verbal abusers, men lacking interpersonal skills and several incapable of holding a conversation, one admitted to receiving counselling for anger management, one in therapy for alcohol addiction! have met men with serious debt problems, life threatening health problems caused by overeating or over smoking, you name it I have probably met it. I have been stood up on 3 occasions without even an apology, how little effort does a text cost! one horrible guy gave me one word answers for 20 minutes then said he was leaving! Some of them quite frankly have left my ego in shreds! Even though currently I am going through a stage of attracting timewasters followed by no one contacting me at all, that may be preferable! Think there are a lot of people out there who use internet dating to boost their egos at the expense of other innocent people, can’t believe they don’t have anything more constructive to do with their free time! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 I wonder whether the site you use makes a big difference. Link to post Share on other sites
AliceW Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 I had a great experience with internet dating...I tried it pretty much as a lark, just to meet some new people and have fun...I corresponded by e-mail with a bunch of guys, and met three of them...the first one I actually met was a weirdo, the second one was boring, but the third one was wonderful...it is now 1 1/2 years later, and we just moved in together, in fact! I do think it's important to veiw the whole thing casually and have fun with it...you're going to meet some weirdos and have some dull dates, but on the other hand you might meet a great person you would never had encountered otherwise. I also agree that internet dating can be especially good for intellectual types. My boyfriend is a bookish loner type with esoteric interests, as am I, and it's hard to imagine how we would ever have found each other any other way.... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by AliceW I also agree that internet dating can be especially good for intellectual types. My boyfriend is a bookish loner type with esoteric interests, as am I, and it's hard to imagine how we would ever have found each other any other way.... also know as NERDS . yes there are many on the internet. Link to post Share on other sites
Impressive1 Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme I wonder whether the site you use makes a big difference. I think it probably has alot to do with it. I have used or am using match, yahoo and webdate. Webdate is the only one that is totally free and also has a chatroom as to where you can webcam with others, that way when you click their name you can see not only their profile but their cam too. Surely makes things easier knowing that person in the picture on the profile is real. Although, webdate does not have alot of the search options that other dating sites have. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 I came to a quiet acceptance that about 90% of the profilers are Nerds. But in this dating internet world thats what seems to be out there the most. So I accpet the Nerds but notice that they seem to have functional problems with creating real world values and want to stay in the internet-email-you-only-phase and when you meet you just have to accept the fact that Operating Systems and Technology are the main focus in life for them... Somewhere in there YOU are a priority but not before they have played with the latest PS2 game or PDA device. Since its a part of this internet life, I accept that if I delve into this full heartedly , then I accept that most of my dates want to know the latest Star War Episodes.....which btw one is coming out May 19 lol.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hungryhorse Posted March 16, 2005 Author Share Posted March 16, 2005 Well I am not so sure the site makes any difference it is just the disfunctional social misfits on them, so far I have used Yahoo personals, Dateline (charged me £80 for a year out of which only got 5 dates!), Dating Direct, plus put an ad the local newspaper. I have never used a free site as felt timewasters were unlikely to fork out to waste people's time, though now I am beginning to wonder!? I have never gone into it with great expectations just thought it might be more proactive in finding someone than staying in, perhaps I have just had bad luck with it! The chap I sent the e-mail to, possibly I was a bit hasty, he has now at least replied!! Thanks for the tips about good sites I might have a look at Match and Webdate, do you generally pay up for a year, 3 months or a trial? because some of them if useless can amount to daylight robbery! Guess I am not a loner doing internet dating, just work in a female dominated office, have 2 sisters, attended and graduated from a Methodist ladies college, have married friends who don't know anyone and men don't fall into my path. I don't want to spend life on my own if I can help it! Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Just a quick comment on free websites. And please, HungryHorse, don't get me wrong on this, tt's just a thought. Maybe they are better, because people go in without being desperately looking for a partner. They are not interested yet to pay and thus you will find the men there are less dysfunctional than on websites that charge you something. There's less pressure and less desperation in a free chatroom. And I thought a message board might be interesting, because you see people revealing a bit more about their personality when they post, but I'd keep my hands off of members of LS or any other relationship message board. Go on a message board about politics, gardening, or whatever you like, that's much better. And why don't you try other activities in real life where you can meet a lot of people? There are so many sports club and other places where people who have the same hobbies as you have. Link to post Share on other sites
CurvyGurl Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 It could just be my area but I find the sites that you have to pay for contain far more men serious about meeting someone. The Free sites (and add yahoo to this even though its not free) are full of people just looking for a quickie anonymous shag, and then they will summarily dump that person like so much dirty underwear. Free sites have proven to not be worth my time or my effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Impressive1 Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Hi Yeah I agree, webdate since it is free, gets alot of people on there. I haven't paid for any sites yet, usually they email and hint around as to their id on messengers or emails. Good Luck, hopefully we'll all find that someone, someday. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Mary, Lets not kid ourselves here. If you find the majority of men to be "Nerds" online, I assure you that 95% of the women are too. They have so many problems it is too far to list. Plus I tend to think that most men reply to a woman who has taken the initiative to email much quicker than a woman ever does. Women rarely reply! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Okay I should refrain and say Geeks. What is a Geek ? Apparently different than a Nerd. But some similarities with the interests in my previous post. You said the women too have problems. I would say there are a percentage of women as well who have their own personal issues..... and busy lives and look great , that have no time to sit in bars to meet men. Yes of course there are many places you can run into men -men who share your common interests such as volunteering, hiking groups, development classes. There are as many ways to meet them as there are classes.| And as for the statement " Women rarely reply " That would not include me because no only do I reply, but I eventually talk to that person on the phone because I want to hear their voice , and through a typed email you cannot learn about their voice inflections, their true sense of humor, their mental stability, their shyness, their maturity.... Have I become Geekish ? I would say to some degree. I now know how to put together a computer, how to navigate programs. But was I Geeky before : no. But to adapt here a large percentage of people here DO know computers....the world has changed Link to post Share on other sites
Topaze Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Originally posted by Impressive1 Hi Yeah I agree, webdate since it is free, gets alot of people on there. I haven't paid for any sites yet, usually they email and hint around as to their id on messengers or emails. Good Luck, hopefully we'll all find that someone, someday. I don't think you will have ANY trouble Impressive. You may also want to give speed dating a try. I think you would find great success wtih that. Go to one of the larger events though. Not just the ones where you meet 7 - 8 people. I tried speed dating once and it was a lot of fun. Link to post Share on other sites
SleepingLover Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale also know as NERDS . yes there are many on the internet. Hey haven't you heard... geeks and nerds are the in thing, man! LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
SleepingLover Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Someone here said something about not expecting the intellectual types to be muscular etc.. and in my case that is true. I'm a thin guy who has weighed the same since I was 15 years old..long time heheh. But if you want a guy who can stimulate both your mind and your body, I'm your man! LOL! I'm not really the nerdy type I guess. I can be goofy at times but only in a comical sense. Social misfit? Nope not me either, I get along well with most everyone I meet and all the women think I'm "sweet".. ughh.. I hate that word!.... because, although, they think I'm "sweet" hardly any of the women I meet want to date a "Sweet" guy. Oh they all flirt with me and heavily, but when they find out I'm a "sweet" guy off they run to find a "macho" man. Lemme tell you, all those women who put up profiles saying, "Looking for a decent, honest, loyal, caring, loving man" are all liars! What they mean to say is , "I'm looking for the jock type man, maybe a Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise look alike (if at all possible please!). If you are sweet and caring, your gonna turn me off so hit the road. I want a guy I can show off to my friends.. the kind with the looks but doesn't speak... and really has no opinions or anything to say because the motor is running but there is nobody behind the wheel." Heheh...oh I can be cynical at times... Shame on me ...smack smack Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 I'm "sweet" hardly any of the women I meet want to date a "Sweet" guy. Ohhhhhhhh I'm a sucker for a 'sweet' guy!!!! And no, that's not my current job description Or hobby Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Sweet Guys Rock ! We like you to be sweet and caring but we also like a backbone...to feel protected...loved...cherished Link to post Share on other sites
SleepingLover Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 LOL I have backbone, I used to be a kickboxer when I was younger. I'm not afraid of too much that I can think of and stand up for myself and loved ones. It's just that those things don't show through until someone gets to know you Link to post Share on other sites
Impressive1 Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Originally posted by Topaze I don't think you will have ANY trouble Impressive. You may also want to give speed dating a try. I think you would find great success wtih that. Go to one of the larger events though. Not just the ones where you meet 7 - 8 people. I tried speed dating once and it was a lot of fun. Hi! Thanks I will have to look into that, I haven't heard of it before. I live in a college town, but it isn't exactly huge, like a major city such as Atlanta of Birmingham. So this speed dating thing, I have never heard of it... what exactly is that? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Originally posted by Impressive1 So this speed dating thing, I have never heard of it... what exactly is that? Speed dating is where you pay $45 and show up at a bar or restaurant. You meet like 35 or 40 people in 2 or 3 hrs, getting to talk with each person for 5 minutes or so. You move on to the next person when the bell rings or buzzer goes off. Afterwards everyone fills out some cards and indicate which people or peopoles you may be interested in. When there is a match between 2 people they hook you up by sending contact info to each party like an email or something or other. I have never tried it myself but have heard many stories from others, many negative. It is like fast food introductions or assembly line meeting. It is like anything else, if your physically attractive you'll get a lot of interest from others. I know a lady that runs some of these in Detroit and she says that the 4 or 5 decent looking women who show up at each speed dating event get 90% of the hits from men. What are you gonna be able to tell about someone in 5 minutes except for how good looking they are and what they do for a living or maybe where they live??? Sorta superfical to me. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Speed dating is where you pay $45 and show up at a bar or restaurant. You meet like 35 or 40 people in 2 or 3 hrs, getting to talk with each person for 5 minutes or so. You move on to the next person when the bell rings or buzzer goes off. Afterwards everyone fills out some cards and indicate which people or peopoles you may be interested in. When there is a match between 2 people they hook you up by sending contact info to each party like an email or something or other. I have never tried it myself but have heard many stories from others, many negative. It is like fast food introductions or assembly line meeting. It is like anything else, if your physically attractive you'll get a lot of interest from others. I know a lady that runs some of these in Detroit and she says that the 4 or 5 decent looking women who show up at each speed dating event get 90% of the hits from men. What are you gonna be able to tell about someone in 5 minutes except for how good looking they are and what they do for a living or maybe where they live??? Sorta superfical to me. Oh my god, did someone crack your password for this site or am I hallucinating? You criticizing people for being superficial? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Originally posted by kooky Oh my god, did someone crack your password for this site or am I hallucinating? You criticizing people for being superficial? you're hallucinating KOOKY Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 See? The Alzheimer moments are kicking in already. Link to post Share on other sites
Impressive1 Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Originally posted by SleepingLover Lemme tell you, all those women who put up profiles saying, "Looking for a decent, honest, loyal, caring, loving man" are all liars! What they mean to say is , "I'm looking for the jock type man, maybe a Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise look alike (if at all possible please!). If you are sweet and caring, your gonna turn me off so hit the road. I want a guy I can show off to my friends.. the kind with the looks but doesn't speak... and really has no opinions or anything to say because the motor is running but there is nobody behind the wheel." Heheh...oh I can be cynical at times... Shame on me ...smack smack It's sad to say but many women are that way, they aren't interested in someone that will treat them with respect, they'd rather go out with the tough, "I am lion...here me ROAR!" type. But by saying that the women who put profiles up saying they are looking for a decent, honest, loyal,caring man are all liars. Is simply not true, that is very stereo-typical if you ask me. I have that on my profile, and that is exactly what I am looking for. As for the Brad Pitt thing, physical attraction does have a huge part in this, and if you tell me, that you would go out with someone that you aren't attracted to at first, I may would believe that, but I am not so certain that without the attraction factor it would make that great of a relationship. Just my opinion lol By the way, the kind of guy that I would show off to my friends, would be the kind of guy as to where I wouldn't have to. Meaning that his looks may be the first thing they notice but the most important thing and what is going to stick in their mind, is how treats me. Link to post Share on other sites
SleepingLover Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Originally posted by Impressive1 It's sad to say but many women are that way, they aren't interested in someone that will treat them with respect, they'd rather go out with the tough, "I am lion...here me ROAR!" type. But by saying that the women who put profiles up saying they are looking for a decent, honest, loyal,caring man are all liars. Is simply not true, that is very stereo-typical if you ask me. I have that on my profile, and that is exactly what I am looking for. As for the Brad Pitt thing, physical attraction does have a huge part in this, and if you tell me, that you would go out with someone that you aren't attracted to at first, I may would believe that, but I am not so certain that without the attraction factor it would make that great of a relationship. Just my opinion lol By the way, the kind of guy that I would show off to my friends, would be the kind of guy as to where I wouldn't have to. Meaning that his looks may be the first thing they notice but the most important thing and what is going to stick in their mind, is how treats me. Heheh I know, Impressive, that not everyone is like that. I was being purely cynical The fact is that I have met quite a number of women whom have thought I am handsome, and a few have came out and exactly said that I was just too nice . So what gives? Well, I am not about to change for anyone. The way I see it, if they can't accept me for who I am then they can hit the road. Makes it difficult nonetheless though Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts