Flowers in the beginning or in an established relationship?

[irc333]

This has been a pretty big debate between a friend and myself (he's a male). He's never been too forward with women and keeps it light. We got into a discussion about how some of the female friends would lament or just some of these dating profiles in the "first date" sections of the area, "I'm a girl who just loves flowers on a date"

 

Now, this goes back to the "Good ol' days of dating" thread where back then you could send a woman flowers before even asking her out OR as a method to get her to go out with you. See, men back then would do things in the beginning to attract a woman such as the traditional romance stuff before he even knew her well.

 

I recall some time back a man sent flowers to her place of employment (I am thinking they met in passing in the same building they worked) after their date. It was a bad move on his part, because it got her co-workers chattin'. She never called him back again, it freaked her out.

 

I've heard of other situations where a man would be romantic and mysterious with a woman he's just out with by doing the romance thing a little too soon and scaring them off. Such as our previous generations this would not have occurred.

 

Now days, you need to be in an established relationship to pull this kind of thing off. Agree, disagree?

[clia]

If a woman likes you, giving her flowers on the first date (or early on) will be welcomed. If she doesn't like you or is on the fence, it can come across as too much too soon. Sending flowers to a woman's work before you are in a relationship is way too much. Some people are private and don't want to have to get into their personal life with co-workers, which is exactly the situation getting flowers at work creates.

 

I don't know that it necessarily has to be an "established relationship," but to be safe, a guy is better off waiting until at least 5-6 dates in to bring flowers, when it has at least been established that you are interested in each other. And even then, he should simply bring them to the house when he goes to pick her up for the date, not to deliver them at work.

[mammasita]

I went out on a first date once where the guy showed up with flowers. He also took me to a movie. Just all around wrong. Plus he was a little greasy lol.

 

I think in cases where I know the guy (i.e. Maybe we were friends first and its not a blind date or an OLD) flowers on the first date would be endearing. Otherwise, not so much.

 

Flowers to work, I like. I've had a long time friend send me flowers to work on my bday tagged "from your secret admirer" because he knows I love tulips and he's just a goofy guy who likes to joke around with me.

[d0nnivain]

Why is it an either or proposition?

 

I'd save the big expensive florist deliveries for occasions in an established relationship but I think grabbing a $10 bunch of flowers at the local market would be a lovely gesture early on or just because.

[Art_Critic]

In the beginning/courting, always.. established relationship all the time...

[todreaminblue]

Disagree....i dont think theres any problems and connotation to sending flowers....its kind and thoughtful.....i think its more about the person that you are sending them to and it should be sent to their home not their work place.....for work is work ...and leisure and romance should be from home.....deb

[GemmaUK]

I find flowers early on too much.

 

 

I find flowers late on too much.

 

 

I tell men I don't like flowers..I mean I do like flowers but I don't want them sent to me...but they still do send them.

 

 

I guess these men just are not listening to me or my opinion is void?

[OwMyEyeball]

Flowers and these kinds of romantic overtures are the "deck chairs on the Titanic (or some ship that's still floating, for all y'all optimists)".

 

Whether or not they're given away has absolutely no bearing on the overall direction of the relationship, budding or established.

 

I mean, if you bring flowers to the first date and start eating them, then yes, that action would probably have some impact on her regard towards you. Same if you used them to pick your teeth or chase pigeons.

 

Point is, it's all in the delivery and the existing chemistry. Whether or not they're offered is entirely beside the point.

 

My experiences with giving flowers have all been disastrously awesome. None of those above examples happened, but in the end it's all about how you give, not what you give.

[endlessabyss]

This has been a pretty big debate between a friend and myself (he's a male). He's never been too forward with women and keeps it light. We got into a discussion about how some of the female friends would lament or just some of these dating profiles in the "first date" sections of the area, "I'm a girl who just loves flowers on a date"

 

Now, this goes back to the "Good ol' days of dating" thread where back then you could send a woman flowers before even asking her out OR as a method to get her to go out with you. See, men back then would do things in the beginning to attract a woman such as the traditional romance stuff before he even knew her well.

 

I recall some time back a man sent flowers to her place of employment (I am thinking they met in passing in the same building they worked) after their date. It was a bad move on his part, because it got her co-workers chattin'. She never called him back again, it freaked her out.

 

I've heard of other situations where a man would be romantic and mysterious with a woman he's just out with by doing the romance thing a little too soon and scaring them off. Such as our previous generations this would not have occurred.

 

Now days, you need to be in an established relationship to pull this kind of thing off. Agree, disagree?

 

 

This is not a black or white issue.

 

 

Some chicks may be scared off by it, others not so much.

[ComingInHot]

Bring Pop Rocks. Those are waaay better than flowers and fun too. She'd never forget it*

[newmoon]

i don't like flowers much, but any thoughtful act is always welcome, even the first date.

[Allumere]

I will accept flowers anytime because I like flowers. The best time is "just because" and not because it is an anniversary or birthday. First date or 31st is sweet. I am a giver and always liked getting things for my dates...sometimes silly, sometimes practical. Went out on a first date on Mardi Gras....guy got some of my most cherished glass and wooden beads. Months later, because he would literally take off his shirt in the car because he swore he always spilled stuff I got him a box of disposable adult aprons and a "Dexter" like leather one.

 

I just wish they would remember the small gifts after dating for awhile...a note on the windshield, a card, a pint of good ice cream....they all go a long way with me!

[Florin Gabriel]

From my experience I konw that flowers are almost always welcomed.

At the first date he can bring one beautiful red rose. And after he find out what flowers she like he can send her a beautiful bouquet. Small gestures mean a lot.

 

P.S. Yes,I am a guy:laugh: