Ive Been Dating My Ex...

[cottom]

At 16 her first partner of 3 years died, she was adopted and her dad had an affair on her mom and now lives with his new gf during the night but refuses to get a divorce because of his religions so for the past 5 or so years the moms been roped along doing all his cooking, cleaning etc and not meeting anybody else while he is out with his gf. She was nasty, bitter and hated men it seemed so took it all out on the daughter because she had her own life and didnt follow the mom everywhere.

 

All this just created a girl that needed constant love and support and somebody to show her affection 24/7.

 

After meeting when i was 20, she was 18, we were together for around a year and a half; The first 6 months we were perfect, spending every day together and living together for a month at a time etc. We were inseperable. Then i got news i had a job but in a town the other side of the country. I accepted and moved away, i only lived there Monday to Friday and the first few months we were fine, we would see each other Friday night, Saturday, Sunday and Monday morning then i would head off for the week.

 

But then my job started getting a lot more stressful, i wouldnt make it home every week, i wouldn't speak to her for days at a time, i would lock myself in my room and not speak with any flatmates or anything. I would turn up for work, go home and go bed. When we did speak it would be arguments, i would call her names and accuse her of things and tell her i hate her. We would argue non stop and she found out her hair salon she worked at was closing, she got a new job and found out that was also closing and then she started on anti depressants and went completely unstable. She started hanging around with a girl who had a baby at 15, a partner who they used to beat each other and gamble all their money and then they would cheat on each other.

 

Now i am 22, she is 20. It was around late July, she started speaking to a kid she used to work with, he is 18. She originally started speaking as a comfort thing, he broke up with his long term gf and me and her resented each other. The more they met they got closer, they met around 6 or 7 times and it only escalated to making out, no sexual stuff. The whole time though, me and her were looking for a house to move in together, talking about marriage and things while she was seeing this other kid for a month. I found out and kicked her out and never spoke to her or answered her calls.

 

I met another girl, but it just wasn't the same. She was boring, she had been around a lot and all she wanted to do was party and drink (like her parents every night). She wasn't the best looking but she was hot. We just didn't have a spark. After 2 months, we ended it and i went out that night and bumped into my ex, we spoke on the phone for about 2 hours and it turns out she had broke up with her bf (the guy she cheated with) that night too.

 

Ever since then we started texting a lot and then a on Friday night we met and ended up sleeping together and then yesterday we met up and spent 13hours together talking and talking (something neither of us had with the rebounds) and ended up sleeping again.

 

But after all what happened, does she deserve a second go?

[cottom]

Before anyone says about sorting my circumstances out, i have. I have a new role at work which is a lot easier for my skill set, i come home every friday to monday now and i am so much happier that way again.

[JohnM]

You were emotionally cheated on by this woman.

 

When it got tough she sought her attention elsewhere and left you for that

 

Sounds just like my own situation, except we are five years or so ahead of you. Take off your rose tinted glasses man.

 

Its going to seem great, fresh and the sex is awesome because that comfort is there and you both know how to please one another. Easy to forget what she did, but she is still the same person underneath that. You need to bring those thoughts to the front of your thinking right now.

 

Think about what your friends and family said when the original incident occured. Now also think what would they say to you about it now.

[Miss Clavel]

huh? what?

[cottom]

Not very good at reading? Summed up:

 

Had a gf, she needed affection and reassurance constantly because of her past. I moved away and then hit depression when struggling with work. She met someone else after i treated her bad and never spoke to her, when we did we just argued. She met another guy a few times and ended up seeing him but not sleeping together or anything. We broke up when i found out, she got with him i got with a rebound, me and my rebound didnt click and them two didnt either. We all broke up. We started speaking again and ive slept with her twice now after meeting twice. But after what went on do i move past it and think we can try better this time or should i leave it.

[cottom]

Well my friends hate her and her friends hate me purely because of the whole backing your friends during a break up.

 

My family hate her for cheating while her family hate me because apparently im rude and arrogant, they just didnt like me.

 

They were happy for her to be with her rebound who was a coke head druggy who used to drive her around at 2am on drugs to his dealers house.

 

I hate her family because i used to have her 'man-hating' mom text me constantly from day 1 how i should be ashamed of myself and that i am an embarrasment because i would drop her at the end of her road (2 minute walk) rather than all the way because of a really awkward 3 point turn at the end.

 

Then her dad was police and used that to hack into her facebook and read our conversations where we would speak about how his mom should divorce him for his infidelity because she is clearly unhappy and taking it out on her, so her dad would then phone me and threaten me etc because of his religion he refuses a divorce.

[JohnM]

Why bother with this whole situation and its baggage?

 

Its not as if she is perfect, she is flawed in her treatment and in essense you sound toxic for each other. Your friends and family hate her side and her side are the same for your side of the war. This alone is enough to make it untenable.

 

You seem like you want to fix something that shouldn't be. Just walk away.

 

Start fresh with someone completely new. Just because one rebound didn't work doesn't mean there isn't a healthier better all round option out there for you.