Rachy85 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I think my hardest struggle is guilt. Feeling guilty for contributing to the marriage ending, guilty for feeling like a complete failure, guilty for not being able to make it work... Has anyone struggled with the guilt and shame and self esteem issues? Even if you can convince yourself through logic and affirmation this was the right thing to do and you DO deserve a happy life...how do you forgive yourself and let go? How do you let go of the guilt? I am trying through CBT and religion, I have affirmation from loved ones...but all of that won't matter unless I believe it... Link to post Share on other sites
ralfgarnett Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I think my hardest struggle is guilt. Feeling guilty for contributing to the marriage ending, guilty for feeling like a complete failure, guilty for not being able to make it work... Has anyone struggled with the guilt and shame and self esteem issues? Even if you can convince yourself through logic and affirmation this was the right thing to do and you DO deserve a happy life...how do you forgive yourself and let go? How do you let go of the guilt? I am trying through CBT and religion, I have affirmation from loved ones...but all of that won't matter unless I believe it... oh yes been there too many times, even though I have done nothing wrong I still feel stupid, a failure, a waste of space, a sad lonely man whos wife has left him, the love of my life and vice versa, how can it be ?, how could it of happened ?, I still sometimes think its a bad dream and I will wake from it any minute now, oh yes I know exactly what you mean Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 One of my favorite quotes (no idea who said it) is: "You make mistakes. Mistakes don't make you". So the question simply becomes this - at this point in your life, will you be defined by the failure of your marriage or your response to that failure? Up to you... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 yep. I feel the same to an extent. I feel like I'm the one who failed even though he cheated and was overall kind of a douche. But... I loved him in spite of it all, it's just, I had to love me and our kids MORE. Hey So here's what I'm thinking, I am going to try and lessen the guilt and my feelings of failure in that he (my as of today... exh) is now becoming the perfect man inside and out for the next woman. She will get treated as she should. My work here is done CiH* Link to post Share on other sites
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