What is chemistry, and how does a guy inspire it?

[Teknoe]

Well a few questions come to mind for me then...

 

You've gotten best LS has to offer on this topic and on dating in general (countless times), and look where it has gotten you. What exactly do you expect? Do you envision a day when the perfect poster appears and writes the perfect combination of words that makes it all clear for you, spurring you into action on the path to success?

 

It won't happen, SD. Nothing will ever change for you on LS. This is it. How long do you want to keep walking the same path to nowhere? How long do you want to lead a bunch of confused, irritated strangers down it with you?

 

What would you do if the Ghost of SD Future came and showed you a life where there were no yoga pants hanging in the closet? What if you found out now that there will never be a Mrs. SD? Would you choose to die? Is that all the value your life has to you?

 

You don't take the advice you're given here, because you know it would just be an act. You can only be yourself. You weren't born a lady killer. You weren't born tall. You can't change those things. The college girls don't dig you. You can't change that.

 

They. Never. Will. Never. Ever.

 

Whether there will ever be a woman in your life in any enduring significant way, I can't say. But I can say that you'd better not count on it. You'd better figure out what else in the world will make life worth living.

 

That's what everyone has to do. Even the lady killers. The only advantage people who have had significant relationships have over you is they know that a relationship doesn't fix you. It can make you feel more broken than ever. A woman doesn't validate you. In the presence of a good woman you can feel less valid than ever.

 

The only validation you'll ever get that you can really trust is what you give yourself.

 

You. Have. To. Move. On. In your actions, your words, your mind, and your heart. Let go.

 

In case anyone doesn't agree with me, then by all means, give SD your best dating advice. As many times as you want in as many different forms as you can think of. Far be it from me to stand in the way of a winning strategy. Maybe all he needs is some encouragement.

 

Yup, been saying this for years now.

 

SD is who he is, and I suspect this endless loop will continue on.

 

The fact that he has received 100s (if not 1000s now) of pages of sound advice and he still goes "I have no idea where to begin" or "I don't know what girls are seeking" is a sign that he just AIN'T GETTING IT.

 

It's really sad because the only one truly hurt and affected negatively by this is SD himself. If he even tried half the advice given to him over the last 6 years, he would be light years ahead of where he is now.

 

Notice also he never likes "hard hitting truth" posts. He only ever likes those posts which pat him on the back in some way. My belief is, if he doesn't "like" your post, then you just wasted time in your life you will never get back.

[johan]

Yup, been saying this for years now.

 

SD is who he is, and I suspect this endless loop will continue on.

 

The fact that he has received 100s (if not 1000s now) of pages of sound advice and he still goes "I have no idea where to begin" or "I don't know what girls are seeking" is a sign that he just AIN'T GETTING IT.

 

It's really sad because the only one truly hurt and affected negatively by this is SD himself. If he even tried half the advice given to him over the last 6 years, he would be light years ahead of where he is now.

 

Notice also he never likes "hard hitting truth" posts. He only ever likes those posts which pat him on the back in some way. My belief is, if he doesn't "like" your post, then you just wasted time in your life you will never get back.

 

Yes, I know. I've done the same in the past. I'll probably do it again. Think of the hours spent by everyone here in similar ways. If we could harness the energy spent on LS in vain we could power a small town.

 

I don't want SD to fail or suffer. I'd like to see him happy. Between the sarcastic posts I'm sort of known for is actual caring. But we weren't all cut out to live the same kind of life. He insists he should be able to walk a path that he wasn't born to be on. Going a different way is not a failure. It's just a sort of cosmic traffic management.

[Teknoe]

Yes, I know. I've done the same in the past. I'll probably do it again. Think of the hours spent by everyone here in similar ways. If we could harness the energy spent on LS in vain we could power a small town.

 

I don't want SD to fail or suffer. I'd like to see him happy. Between the sarcastic posts I'm sort of known for is actual caring. But we weren't all cut out to live the same kind of life. He insists he should be able to walk a path that he wasn't born to be on. Going a different way is not a failure. It's just a sort of cosmic traffic management.

 

Heh, you made me both laugh and cry at the "power a small village" comment. True, true. We've wasted far too many hours on SD. Imagine all the 15-minutes browsing of his latest thread before work and before bed. It's gotta add up to 10-100 hours over time. Yikes.

 

We need to quit posting in his topics period. If anything, we're enabling him.

[somedude81]

ROFl! You guys won't believe where I ended up with Lunch girl after the dance. Ya'll get one guess

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways, while we were talking and she was eating her pancakes she started talking about something that began to concern me.

 

She's a hardcore Christian. Very passionate about her faith, her relationship with God etc.

 

I don't know if that's something I want to deal with. She also said that she wants a guy who is very passionate about God as well, which I most definitely am not.

 

I can't believe this issue is actually happening. I don't know what I want to do with her.

 

I'm feeling that she may be starting to like me and I could like her. I'm extremely attracted to her. Her breasts are massive! But this religion thing may get in the way.

 

Honestly, I wish Busy girl was the one I was getting closer to. She looked so good tonight and I danced with her a few times. But after each dance she pretty much left right away and didn't stick around to talk.

 

This is frustrating.

[GemmaUK]

Time to move on then as you're not the guy for her and she's not the girl for you.

[MidwestUSA]

ROFl! You guys won't believe where I ended up with Lunch girl after the dance. Ya'll get one guess

 

DENNY'S!

Anyways, while we were talking and she was eating her pancakes she started talking about something that began to concern me.

 

She's a hardcore Christian. Very passionate about her faith, her relationship with God etc.

 

I don't know if that's something I want to deal with. She also said that she wants a guy who is very passionate about God as well, which I most definitely am not.

 

I can't believe this issue is actually happening. I don't know what I want to do with her.

 

I'm feeling that she may be starting to like me and I could like her. I'm extremely attracted to her. Her breasts are massive! But this religion thing may get in the way.

 

Honestly, I wish Busy girl was the one I was getting closer to. She looked so good tonight and I danced with her a few times. But after each dance she pretty much left right away and didn't stick around to talk.

 

This is frustrating.

 

But just yesterday you said you'd be willing to learn ballet. You're constantly wanting to change yourself if it will get you a girl.

 

 

I'd take God over ballet. Sounds like another case of avoidance to me.

[thefooloftheyear]

ROFl! You guys won't believe where I ended up with Lunch girl after the dance. Ya'll get one guess

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways, while we were talking and she was eating her pancakes she started talking about something that began to concern me.

 

She's a hardcore Christian. Very passionate about her faith, her relationship with God etc.

 

I don't know if that's something I want to deal with. She also said that she wants a guy who is very passionate about God as well, which I most definitely am not.

 

I can't believe this issue is actually happening. I don't know what I want to do with her.

 

I'm feeling that she may be starting to like me and I could like her. I'm extremely attracted to her. Her breasts are massive! But this religion thing may get in the way.

 

Honestly, I wish Busy girl was the one I was getting closer to. She looked so good tonight and I danced with her a few times. But after each dance she pretty much left right away and didn't stick around to talk.

 

This is frustrating.

 

 

Let her go.....No self respecting woman eats a stack of pancakes on a first date...In no time flat, it wont be only her breasts that are massive...

 

TFY

[yajiuma]

But this religion thing may get in the way.

 

If she is a "hardcore Christian" then sex before marriage is probably off the table.

So you won't be getting your hands on her "massive boobs" unless you put a ring on it

Edited November 15, 2014 by yajiuma

[Rejected Rosebud]

She's a hardcore Christian. Very passionate about her faith, her relationship with God etc.

 

I don't know if that's something I want to deal with. She also said that she wants a guy who is very passionate about God as well, which I most definitely am not.

 

I can't believe this issue is actually happening. I don't know what I want to do with her.

 

 

SD you are not the guy for her, if she wants a strong christian man she is not going for you and she sure won't be having sex with you! Unless you intend to become christian and marry her. So I will be surprised if you are in a position to decide "what to do with her"!!!! It sounds like you had fun and that's great!

[Anela]

 

 

I'm feeling that she may be starting to like me and I could like her. I'm extremely attracted to her. Her breasts are massive! But this religion thing may get in the way.

 

Honestly, I wish Busy girl was the one I was getting closer to. She looked so good tonight and I danced with her a few times. But after each dance she pretty much left right away and didn't stick around to talk.

 

This is frustrating.

 

a) I can't believe we got into that debate, when you were basically taking a pair of breasts on a date.

 

b) Religion aside, if you're more focused on Busy Girl (who has already told you that it isn't going to happen), then you really need to leave this girl alone, unless you want to be friends (real friends).

[Mr Scorpio]

Let her go.....No self respecting woman eats a stack of pancakes on a first date...In no time flat, it wont be only her breasts that are massive...

 

Maybe she was just carb-loading? Or she wanted to get syrup on her fingers so he could watch her lick it off?

[organizedchaos]

ROFl! You guys won't believe where I ended up with Lunch girl after the dance. Ya'll get one guess

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways, while we were talking and she was eating her pancakes she started talking about something that began to concern me.

 

She's a hardcore Christian. Very passionate about her faith, her relationship with God etc.

 

I don't know if that's something I want to deal with. She also said that she wants a guy who is very passionate about God as well, which I most definitely am not.

 

I can't believe this issue is actually happening. I don't know what I want to do with her.

 

I'm feeling that she may be starting to like me and I could like her. I'm extremely attracted to her. Her breasts are massive! But this religion thing may get in the way.

 

Honestly, I wish Busy girl was the one I was getting closer to. She looked so good tonight and I danced with her a few times. But after each dance she pretty much left right away and didn't stick around to talk.

 

This is frustrating.

 

What if busy girl was a hard core Christian and said she only dates guys who are too? By what you have told us, you would become that guy. So why is this a problem for you? You said you'd become whatever a girl wants to make her like you. Right?

[organizedchaos]

ROFl! You guys won't believe where I ended up with Lunch girl after the dance. Ya'll get one guess

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways, while we were talking and she was eating her pancakes she started talking about something that began to concern me.

 

She's a hardcore Christian. Very passionate about her faith, her relationship with God etc.

 

I don't know if that's something I want to deal with. She also said that she wants a guy who is very passionate about God as well, which I most definitely am not.

 

I can't believe this issue is actually happening. I don't know what I want to do with her.

 

I'm feeling that she may be starting to like me and I could like her. I'm extremely attracted to her. Her breasts are massive! But this religion thing may get in the way.

 

Honestly, I wish Busy girl was the one I was getting closer to. She looked so good tonight and I danced with her a few times. But after each dance she pretty much left right away and didn't stick around to talk.

 

This is frustrating.

 

What if busy girl was a hard core Christian and said she only dates guys who are too? By what you have told us, you would become that guy. So why is this a problem for you? You said you'd become whatever a girl wants to make her like you. Right?

 

And great, Denny's. How did you ask her to go to Denny's? Did she think this was a date or just some guy being friendly? And did she say yes to another date?

[xxoo]

The Christian thing, and how it surprised you, illustrates how little you know about these women and what they want in a partner, as well as how literally shallow your interest in them is. You can't attach to a person you don't even know. You are attached to a fantasy of who these women are.

 

Yikes, Denny's. I wonder why you ask about inspiring chemistry if you want to put on the least effort. You may never experience real chemistry coming from a woman, even if you get girlfriends. Lots of women will date a guy for a while with no strong feelings of desire, just cause chemistry is hard to find.

[somedude81]

But just yesterday you said you'd be willing to learn ballet. You're constantly wanting to change yourself if it will get you a girl.

 

 

I'd take God over ballet. Sounds like another case of avoidance to me.

 

Trying to learn ballet is completely different than going to church every Sunday, attending Bible studies and being passionate about Christ. Especially since I'm at a place in my life where I'm pretty much anti-religion.

 

BTW I am Christian but I haven't gone to Church in years. She and I are very different in how we feel about God.

 

If she is a "hardcore Christian" then sex before marriage is probably off the table.

So you won't be getting your hands on her "massive boobs" unless you put a ring on it

 

Most likely. And that will be a major issue for me. Also I wouldn't want her to compromise her values and beliefs for me.

[somedude81]

What if busy girl was a hard core Christian and said she only dates guys who are too? By what you have told us, you would become that guy. So why is this a problem for you? You said you'd become whatever a girl wants to make her like you. Right?

 

Busy girl has never mentioned anything about God or church when we've talked. Lunch girl has but I didn't know how strongly she felt about it until last night.

 

Trying to adopt a different value and belief system to date a girl is going too far for me. Especially if I have to really believe in it.

 

I doubt Busy girl has any criteria like that. At least I hope not.

 

And great, Denny's. How did you ask her to go to Denny's? Did she think this was a date or just some guy being friendly? And did she say yes to another date?

 

She didn't want to go to the close by pub.

 

I didn't ask her on another date. Unfortunately I think we're done.

[Rejected Rosebud]

SD you're talking like you already have her and the choice is yours whether to accept her christianity or not! Kind of sounds like cart before horse to me! Regardless though, if you don't think you would be compatible then just move on without fretting about her anymore.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I doubt Busy girl has any criteria like that. At least I hope not.

 

Why???? Her criteria are nyb and have no effect on you!

 

I didn't ask her on another date. Unfortunately I think we're done.

 

oh well that's good, I was afraid you were going to try to get ahold of her massive breasts even though you know you're not compatible! Good move. And congrats on going through with asking her to go to denny's with you.

[somedude81]

SD you're talking like you already have her and the choice is yours whether to accept her christianity or not! Kind of sounds like cart before horse to me!

 

No, this is something I have to deal with now. Knowing full well about how she feels about God and religion, do I want to continue with her?

 

I don't think so.

 

Regardless though, if you don't think you would be compatible then just move on without fretting about her anymore.

 

It's just frustrating because everything else about her is great. Hearing her talk about her faith was a major downer for me. It's just something I don't want to talk about with a woman.

 

Moving seems to be the only thing I can regrettably do.

[Anela]

 

I doubt Busy girl has any criteria like that. At least I hope not.

 

 

Busy girl already told you "no".

[xxoo]

 

I doubt Busy girl has any criteria like that. At least I hope not.

.

 

The assumption should be that she has values and beliefs that shape who she is, and you have yet to learn about them. Most people do. Christianity is just one example that can be a major incompatibility.

[hotpotato]

a) I can't believe we got into that debate, when you were basically taking a pair of breasts on a date.

 

b) Religion aside, if you're more focused on Busy Girl (who has already told you that it isn't going to happen), then you really need to leave this girl alone, unless you want to be friends (real friends).

 

Riiigght? That goes back to that seeing women as people thingy.

Edited November 15, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[somedude81]

The assumption should be that she has values and beliefs that shape who she is, and you have yet to learn about them. Most people do. Christianity is just one example that can be a major incompatibility.

 

Of course she has values and beliefs. What matters is if they are compatible with mine, and if mine are compatible with hers.

 

None of this you are telling me is new.

 

It's very possible that if I got closer to Busy girl that there could be something about her that conflicts with me and I would have to move on.

[organizedchaos]

Of course she has values and beliefs. What matters is if they are compatible with mine, and if mine are compatible with hers.

 

None of this you are telling me is new.

 

It's very possible that if I got closer to Busy girl that there could be something about her that conflicts with me and I would have to move on.

 

No, you have to move on because she already told you no.

[somedude81]

Why do you guys make it so hard to have an actual discussion?