What is chemistry, and how does a guy inspire it?

[Rejected Rosebud]

So if I did end up going out with the Christian girl and she let me grab her giant boobs (without having to lie to her), would I still be in denial?

 

If you know that dating for her is to find a husband, which is probably the case, you'd be a douche. But that wouldn't have anything to do with your denial though, your life as you are living it is the poster boy for denial! Do you see that at all?

[Teknoe]

No, you would just be a despicable selfish creep who put's your own needs before anyone else's.

 

She has TOLD you it's important to her to have someone that shares her views about God and religion. To pursue her now would be lying by omission.

 

How could you even THINK this would be ok?

 

 

+1. Again, I think SD is trying to 90% fulfill this 18 year old fantasy of his (he admits in the past that he missed out on the college girlfriend experience so he's clearly trying to make up for lost time) and 10% "prove the board wrong." Which are both entirely the wrong ways to attack this.

 

It's gone from frustrating to sad to downright creepy now. I've never seen anyone living in such denial. He has no range in his life. It's school, crush on cute young girls 10+ years younger than him, go home, surf the internet, post on loveshack.

 

What kind of lifestyle is that, and how will he attract a woman? Answer: he won't. Not with that lifestyle and the way his mind works. There's a reason he has no friends and is alone.

[Pyro]

To SD81:

 

You have a spectrum disorder called Asperger's is my most rational guess.

 

It is often identified with social isolation, behavior perceived to be eccentric, repetitive verbal communication (asking the same questions or making the same statements over and over), and obsessive behavior in their chosen interests. Such as how you keep asking this same question and continue wondering about this same subject.

 

Speak to your parents or a doctor about your struggles and they can help you find a professional to help you manage it and even learn to overcome it.

[hotpotato]

Um, why would you want her to compromise her principles for you, sd?

 

If she read that, she would vomit.

 

Sd, I dobt know if uou are trying to get a rile out of us or if you are really that dense. You say you dont care about boobies, but when you talk about her its

 

 

she rubs her boobies on me

she has great big boobies

shes christian but imma feel those boobies

she has boobies

oh yes she has a pulse and does other stuff but man look at those boobies

Boooooooobiiieees!

 

 

This is something that has been pointed out to you again and again, thread after thread, day after day, month after month

[hotpotato]

+1. Again, I think SD is trying to 90% fulfill this 18 year old fantasy of his (he admits in the past that he missed out on the college girlfriend experience so he's clearly trying to make up for lost time) and 10% "prove the board wrong." Which are both entirely the wrong ways to attack this.

 

It's gone from frustrating to sad to downright creepy now. I've never seen anyone living in such denial. He has no range in his life. It's school, crush on cute young girls 10+ years younger than him, go home, surf the internet, post on loveshack.

 

What kind of lifestyle is that, and how will he attract a woman? Answer: he won't. Not with that lifestyle and the way his mind works. There's a reason he has no friends and is alone.

Well, sometimes he admits that sometimes he doesnt. It all depends on the mood of the thread. Its part of the bigger issue, and that is sd trying to be whatever he needs to be to fit in.

 

Creepy is right. In 30 years he will be stalking young women if he doesnt get help.

[Teknoe]

To SD81:

 

You have a spectrum disorder called Asperger's is my most rational guess.

 

It is often identified with social isolation, behavior perceived to be eccentric, repetitive verbal communication (asking the same questions or making the same statements over and over), and obsessive behavior in their chosen interests. Such as how you keep asking this same question and continue wondering about this same subject.

 

Speak to your parents or a doctor about your struggles and they can help you find a professional to help you manage it and even learn to overcome it.

 

I believe this to be fact. Felt this way since 2012 when I noticed his posting patterns.

 

He recently said one doctor diagnosed him with Aspergers (to which I thought "Called it!") and then a few weeks later he claims a second opinion said he doesn't.

 

I am still however banking on the fact that he is somewhere on the spectrum. It explains how dense he is and why he misses so many simple social cues. I hate to say this but I also saw his picture, and something about him doesn't seem 100% normal. A lot of times, people with Aspergers while you can't judge them entirely on looks they do (in most cases) tend look a certain way. Something about their physical appearance kinda cues you that something is not 100% normal. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's something I've observed. SD certainly looks and writes/thinks the part of a guy who has Aspergers. To a tee.

[xxoo]

So if I did end up going out with the Christian girl and she let me grab her giant boobs (without having to lie to her), would I still be in denial?

 

In the course of the conversation on her beliefs, did you share your own? Did you lead her to believe that you shared hers?

[somedude81]

Wow, you guys are completely ridiculous. No matter what I do you will have a problem with it.

 

What I need to do is get more experience with dating. Many of you have said exactly that.

 

Right now I feel like I'm trying to date girls just to prove to you guys that I can and that there is nothing wrong with me. Then you guys will have to acknowledge me.

[xxoo]

Wow, you guys are completely ridiculous. No matter what I do you will have a problem with it.

 

What I need to do is get more experience with dating. Many of you have said exactly that.

 

Right now I feel like I'm trying to date girls just to prove to you guys that I can and that there is nothing wrong with me. Then you guys will have to acknowledge me.

 

This thread has 500+ posts and you don't feel acknowledged?

 

We all want you to succeed. But no, we don't want to you to deceive a woman who has been open with you to do so. We want you to have positive experiences, not cause pain.

[Million.to.1]

Wow, you guys are completely ridiculous. No matter what I do you will have a problem with it.

 

What I need to do is get more experience with dating. Many of you have said exactly that.

 

Right now I feel like I'm trying to date girls just to prove to you guys that I can and that there is nothing wrong with me. Then you guys will have to acknowledge me.

 

No, it's you who is ridiculous. No matter what we say, you have a problem with it.

 

You need to experience LIFE. many of us have been telling you to get exactly that.

 

Right now we feel like we are trying to get you to understand that there IS something wrong with you and you have to acknowledge it.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Wow, you guys are completely ridiculous. No matter what I do you will have a problem with it.

 

SD, you are posting things that make you come off as a serious creep. Can't you look at the way so many people here are reacting to it as a big giant sign that there really IS a problem? I mean YOU have a problem, not that we have problems with you!

 

What I need to do is get more experience with dating. Many of you have said exactly that.

yeh but where did you get the idea that you should do it at the expense of the other person? You don't understand boundaries and until you do you probably shouldn't even try dating.

[Anela]

Wow, you guys are completely ridiculous. No matter what I do you will have a problem with it.

 

What I need to do is get more experience with dating. Many of you have said exactly that.

 

Dating, not groping. Getting to know them, trying new things, getting out of your comfort zone.

 

Right now I feel like I'm trying to date girls just to prove to you guys that I can and that there is nothing wrong with me. Then you guys will have to acknowledge me.

 

Your recognizing that is a good thing, except you won't get the sort of acknowledgement that you're looking for from most.

[sillyanswer]

Right now I feel like I'm trying to date girls just to prove to you guys that I can and that there is nothing wrong with me. Then you guys will have to acknowledge me.

 

Wow. It's not some game where you "win" by being able to tell us that you got a date. That's a pretty poor reason for trying, too. How would Busty Girl and Massive Breasts Girl feel if they knew that the reasons you wanted to date them included scoring a point on an internet forum? (That's not actually a rhetorical question... try to think about it from their point of view.)

[somedude81]

This thread has 500+ posts and you don't feel acknowledged?

 

We all want you to succeed. But no, we don't want to you to deceive a woman who has been open with you to do so. We want you to have positive experiences, not cause pain.

 

Who said anything about deceiving a woman?

 

And no, I don't feel acknowledged. I feel I have to prove myself to you guys that I'm not retarded or whatever you seem to think I am.

[somedude81]

SD, you are posting things that make you come off as a serious creep. Can't you look at the way so many people here are reacting to it as a big giant sign that there really IS a problem? I mean YOU have a problem, not that we have problems with you!

 

You were the one who started this whole thing.

 

Anyway I am not against the idea of you asking that christian girl out but please don't pretend to believe just so you can grab her boobs, that would be disgusting.

 

What I said next was in retaliation to your post. I would have never said anything about grabbing her boobs if you hadn't mentioned it first.

 

Everybody here needs to just chill out.

[Million.to.1]

Who said anything about deceiving a woman?

 

You did, by saying you would go on dates with her. You see, you would be deceiving her by pretending you were interested in her, even though you were not interested because of her religion, and only in getting more experience with dates.

 

And no, I don't feel acknowledged. I feel I have to prove myself to you guys that I'm not retarded or whatever you seem to think I am.

 

The only way you would actually prove anything to any of us, is to quit trying to get a ridiculously young GF, start focussing on school, finding a job, and getting some friends.

[xxoo]

Who said anything about deceiving a woman?

 

And no, I don't feel acknowledged. I feel I have to prove myself to you guys that I'm not retarded or whatever you seem to think I am.

 

We want success for you. No need to prove anything to us. Prove to yourself.

 

How did you respond to the Christian conversation? Did you share your religious outlook as well?

[somedude81]

Wow. It's not some game where you "win" by being able to tell us that you got a date. That's a pretty poor reason for trying, too. How would Busty Girl and Massive Breasts Girl feel if they knew that the reasons you wanted to date them included scoring a point on an internet forum? (That's not actually a rhetorical question... try to think about it from their point of view.)

 

Good point.

 

Yeah. That's for helping me realize that I care way too damn much about the opinion of random internet strangers.

 

The only reason I made this thread is because I wanted help with attracting women. All other discussion is irrelevant.

[somedude81]

We want success for you. No need to prove anything to us. Prove to yourself.

 

Thanks. That's what I need to focus on.

 

How did you respond to the Christian conversation? Did you share your religious outlook as well?

 

She knows that I'm a Christian and that I went church a lot when I was younger. Also that I haven't gone in a while.

 

If that's good enough for her to move forward with me then great. If not then I'll move on.

[Million.to.1]

 

The only reason I made this thread is because I wanted help with attracting women. All other discussion is irrelevant.

 

It always is. Isn't it.

[xxoo]

The only reason I made this thread is because I wanted help with attracting women. All other discussion is irrelevant.

 

And all the advice we give, all the ways we push (job, friends, social skills, school, hobbies and interests) contribute to attracting women. None of it is irrelevant.

[marinelife3]

I just wanted to say, there are different kinds of flirting, and different levels of intensity. For example, light flirting, where both people know that it's never going to go anywhere. Example- I stop at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. The gas station attendant is an old man and I can tell he's bored and thinks I'm cute. So I flirt with him while he pumps the gas- we both know Our encounter is going to end with us saying goodbye and never seeing each other agin- though theoretically if I proposed a quickie in the tool shed he would most likely go for it- but the point for him isn't potential sex, it's just the mild thrill of being flattered by a woman's attention- and for me it's just the ego boost and enjoying another persons company.

 

Then there's heavy flirting, where a person wants to quickly move in and have sex, or whatever. It's hard for me too, this stuff. But yeah, I think you should try having brief flirtatious encounters with anyone who has some job where they are just sitting around bored and happy to have anyone talk to them. And then just think really hard as you flirt, ask yourself if the person seems like she's enjoying the conversation, or if she seems bored or like she wants you to go away, or what. And just try to have it end on that positive note where you're both laughing and smiling and have good friendly eye contact and then you walk away both a little happier. That's a version of chemistry.

[BubblyBeth]

Been lurking. I feel like I must interject here.

 

SD (if you don't mind me shortening your username), I admire that you are trying to find a mate. It's normal to desire companionship from the opposite sex. I hope you find the right girl for you. However, there is something I must address.

 

 

She knows that I'm a Christian and that I went church a lot when I was younger. Also that I haven't gone in a while.

 

If that's good enough for her to move forward with me then great. If not then I'll move on.

 

As a Christian girl myself, and a fairly devout one, I can lend you a little perspective into this Christian girl. I will call her CG for short. So, you told CG you are Christian but you haven't gone to church in a while (exactly how long has it been?). But what's most important here is your heart. Do you really believe in Jesus? Do you practice what He preaches in His word? If you don't, and if you're totally living based on SD's needs, then you really are NOT Christian.

 

I have Christian friends who go to church, and some who don't. It's not necessarily about if you go to church or not (I know quite a few who go every week who are less Christian than those guys who don't go but do believe in Christ).

 

It's always been about the heart. From what I've read here, you said you don't want to worship Jesus or follow Him. Correct me if I'm wrong here. Those are not the words of a Christian.

 

In a nutshell, what I am trying to say here is slow down and re-evaluate. Are you really CURRENTLY Christian? Because if you are not, and you tell her that you are, then yes, you would be deceiving her. It wouldn't be fair to her also if you try to date her, knowing that you really don't believe in the teachings of Jesus or want to follow His word. Please PLEASE do not do this to this poor girl, if this is the case. I've actually dated guys in my younger years who LIED to me about being Christian. Believe it or not, I've dated FOUR guys who deceived me.

 

But guess what? Each time it didn't take me long to suss out that they really were not Christians. So it was no big loss as I cut off each guy pretty quickly. However, it did hurt me that these guys could be so deceiving just because they want to date a cute girl. I lost all respect for them and immediately deleted their information from my phone and computer.

 

I admire that you're trying to actively pursue girls to date. But please do it with integrity and honor at each step of the way.

 

I wish you well, SD.

[somedude81]

Talking about my religion and whether I'm a true Christian or not is outside the scope of this thread.

 

That said, I will absolutely not lie to her or try to mislead her.

[BubblyBeth]

Talking about my religion and whether I'm a true Christian or not is outside the scope of this thread.

 

That said, I will absolutely not lie to her or try to mislead her.

 

You're the one who introduced religion into the topic

 

If you do what you say you will, then I'm sure there will be no issues. She should know about where you stand on Christianity. And by that measure, you really shouldn't date THIS PARTICULAR girl. There are millions of girls where you live. Pick another one.