What is chemistry, and how does a guy inspire it?

[somedude81]

Because (1) SD can't control his height, (2) focusing on that factor would provide SD an excuse not to work on the things that he can control, (3) discussing it in this thread would be in violation of the rules of the board and (4) because SD can't control his height.

 

But that doesn't change the fact that being short makes dating even harder for me.

 

If I was taller, many women would see me as more physically attractive than I am now.

 

If women were more physically attracted to me, I would be getting dates more easily than I do now.

 

Being short means that I have to try harder to be attractive women.

[Lani]

It might take a decade for SD to learn, but life consists of a myriad of categories - friends, family, relationships, work, hobbies, health/fitness, leisure, contribution, and personal growth - and the entire point of it is to make progress in each and every aspect of it. Once he "gets it," he'll experience the feeling of being happy and fulfilled.

 

Correct.

But he'll never 'get it'.

He doesn't want to.

[Lani]

But that doesn't change the fact that being short makes dating even harder for me.

 

If I was taller, many women would see me as more physically attractive than I am now.

 

If women were more physically attracted to me, I would be getting dates more easily than I do now.

 

Being short means that I have to try harder to be attractive women.

 

By doing things you can control.

Like getting a job.

Finishing school.

Making friends.

 

etc.

[somedude81]

Being short means that I have to try harder to be attractive to women.

 

Can't edit

[xxoo]

.

 

Being short means that I have to try harder to be attractive to women.

 

Maybe so.

 

All the more reason to work hard at the things you can control. Other guys your height do well. Why not you?

[Rejected Rosebud]

But she strictly called it the "short guy" thread. How isn't that offensive? She just wanted to start some **** for no reason & obviously has something against shorter guys.

No I don't!!! I do have something against all you guys around here who insist that we don't like short guys. Coming on this thread and talking about short guys is pretty much starting **** when there is a whole thread especially for that, even though I can't even imagine that it's such a "thing," you should see the man I am with! Short guy!

[thefooloftheyear]

Well, obviously it wouldn't be the ONLY difference. But it could definitely be a factor if we're being honest here. There were a bunch of women on this site alone that admitted to me that they wouldn't date a shorter guy period with no exceptions.

 

 

Im sure they speak for the rest of the billions of women on this planet...

 

TFY

[Mr Scorpio]

But that doesn't change the fact that being short makes dating even harder for me.

 

If I was taller, many women would see me as more physically attractive than I am now.

 

If women were more physically attracted to me, I would be getting dates more easily than I do now.

 

Being short means that I have to try harder to be attractive women.

 

And... this changes your course of action how?

[johan]

By doing things you can control.

Like getting a job.

Finishing school.

Making friends.

 

etc.

 

Bingo.

 

BINGO...

 

BINGO!!!...

BINGOO!!!!

 

Here's my version.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/502678-can-people-completely-satisfied-life-without-being-relationship-2.html#post6011249

[somedude81]

Maybe so.

 

All the more reason to work hard at the things you can control.

 

Of course.

 

Other guys your height do well. Why not you?

 

Because something about them really stands out and is able to cancel out the negative of being short.

 

As for myself, I haven't found out what that thing is that makes me stand out. I'm not exceptional in any way. For a short guy, that's pretty much a death sentence.

[NJ123]

No I don't!!! I do have something against all you guys around here who insist that we don't like short guys. Coming on this thread and talking about short guys is pretty much starting **** when there is a whole thread especially for that, even though I can't even imagine that it's such a "thing," you should see the man I am with! Short guy!

 

Well I was genuinely asking somedude a question, than all of a sudden everything in here turned hostile. And than you went and said go to the "short guy" thread. That completely sounds like an offensive remark even if you didn't mean to come across that way.

[Rejected Rosebud]

As for myself, I haven't found out what that thing is that makes me stand out. I'm not exceptional in any way. And for a short guy, that's pretty much a death sentence.

 

Is there any way you might think about taking some of the suggestions on this thread that will make you a well rounded guy because that is what you need to do! I can't understand why you are so strongly against it!

[NJ123]

Im sure they speak for the rest of the billions of women on this planet...

 

TFY

 

fair enough, but it's not just this forum that I see that being said.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Well I was genuinely asking somedude a question, than all of a sudden everything in here turned hostile. And than you went and said go to the "short guy" thread. That completely sounds like an offensive remark even if you didn't mean to come across that way.

 

Why do you think the words "Short Guy" are so offensive, I don't get it truly I don't!

[Anela]

Of course.

 

 

 

Because something about them really stands out and is able to cancel out the negative of being short.

 

As for myself, I haven't found out what that thing is that makes me stand out. I'm not exceptional in any way. For a short guy, that's pretty much a death sentence.

 

I think that's more because of your focus on the wrong things. I think that you could surprise yourself, if you expanded your interests, and stepped out of your comfort zone.

 

I haven't intended to be mean to you, in this thread, or at any other time, even when you weren't that nice to me. I remember you being funnier, and friendlier - even when we argued a bit in threads, you could laugh in another one. Now you're obsessed, and defensive, and I've been there. That's why I've tried to help.

[somedude81]

Is there any way you might think about taking some of the suggestions on this thread that will make you a well rounded guy because that is what you need to do! I can't understand why you are so strongly against it!

 

I'm afraid that being "well rounded" isn't going to be good enough.

 

The last thing I want to do is be a 45 year old guy working on in a good career, having group of friends that I do activities with that I enjoy, and coming home to an empty house which stays empty.

 

That's the future I see for myself if I don't figure out what it takes to have women be interested in me.

[johan]

As for myself, I haven't found out what that thing is that makes me stand out. I'm not exceptional in any way. For a short guy, that's pretty much a death sentence.

 

You don't know what people think when they think about you. You would be surprised, maybe in good ways if you could know. But you don't often really find out.

 

But you would stand out if you forgot about women and found something else, way more worthy, that you can focus on to define your life. When your life is well defined (by you) then you stand out. You need a mission. Your mission cannot be to get a date. Your mission should be about achievement, building something real, building relationships, conquering the world in some way.

[Lani]

I'm afraid that being "well rounded" isn't going to be good enough.

 

The last thing I want to do is be a 45 year old guy working on in a good career, having group of friends that I do activities with that I enjoy, and coming home to an empty house which stays empty.

 

That's the future I see for myself if I don't figure out what it takes to have women be interested in me.

 

But wouldn't this be better than sitting around your house all day, with no friends, no job, no money, no hobbies. etc and then day rolls into night and you're still there alone?

 

What if you never find anyone? Don't you want to at least have 'something'?

 

Doing all the things to get yourself on the right path won't hinder you in any way. NOT doing them will.

You've got nothing to lose by trying here SD. You can't let the fear of failure hold you back, make that fear your b*tch! Take it head on and fight for your life for YOU, not for a potential date 5 years down the line.

YOU are worth it. And until you see that you won't get anywhere.

[NJ123]

Why do you think the words "Short Guy" are so offensive, I don't get it truly I don't!

 

The words aren't offensive, but the context in the way you had it in your post made it sound like you don't like short guys by saying go to the "short guy thread". Like you look down upon them or something.

[OwMyEyeball]

I'm afraid that being "well rounded" isn't going to be good enough.

 

The last thing I want to do is be a 45 year old guy working on in a good career, having group of friends that I do activities with that I enjoy, and coming home to an empty house which stays empty.

 

That's the future I see for myself if I don't figure out what it takes to have women be interested in me.

The part of you that's trying to figure it out is the biggest obstacle between you and fulfillment.

 

Every single person I know who prioritizes romantic relationship over all other life pursuits is miserable. Whether it's obsessing over the relationship itself or frantically trying to get themselves into one. They're so obsessed with how they want their life to be they lose the ability to enjoy their life for what it is. And in doing so they sacrifice the very aspects of themselves that make them genuinely attractive to other people - potential partners and friends. More importantly, they lose sight of the bigger picture and all the other pleasures life has to offer.

 

The happiest people I know bring balance into their lives and never become overly attached to any one aspect of it. Everything in life ends, including life itself. Getting too wound up with one particular part of it is a recipe for misery.

[somedude81]

You don't know what people think when they think about you. You would be surprised, maybe in good ways if you could know. But you don't often really find out.

 

I wish I could know about the good that other people think of me. Honestly, that's one reason why I really want to be in a relationship. Because it tells me that at least one person really cares about me and thinks I'm a good person. Also, for whatever reason, I really value the opinion of young women. Knowing that at least one women really likes me makes me feel great. I feel acknowledge and recognized.

 

But you would stand out if you forgot about women and found something else, way more worthy, that you can focus on to define your life. When your life is well defined (by you) then you stand out. You need a mission. Your mission cannot be to get a date. Your mission should be about achievement, building something real, building relationships, conquering the world in some way.

 

I agree with you. I should have a mission life. Something that I'm passionate about want to achieve.

 

The thing that is holding me back from doing that is the belief, this strong feeling that I'm missing the foundation. Until I get that part of my life taking care of, I can't move on to conquering the world.

[Mr Scorpio]

As for myself, I haven't found out what that thing is that makes me stand out. I'm not exceptional in any way. For a short guy, that's pretty much a death sentence.

 

You don't find things that make you stand out. You develop things that make you stand out.

[Mr Scorpio]

Like you look down upon them or something.

 

Well, depending oh how tall she is...

[somedude81]

The part of you that's trying to figure it out is the biggest obstacle between you and fulfillment.

 

Every single person I know who prioritizes romantic relationship over all other life pursuits is miserable. Whether it's obsessing over the relationship itself or frantically trying to get themselves into one. They're so obsessed with how they want their life to be they lose the ability to enjoy their life for what it is.

 

Very interesting. And that is the path that I see myself going down. Even when I had friends that I regularly spent time with, I was still obsessing about trying to get into a relationship. That was something that the guys frequently gave me a hard time about.

 

Though once I'm actually in a relationship, I'm completely relaxed and just enjoy life. I'm sure somebody here noticed that I pretty much stopped posting here when I was in my relationship. That was because I wasn't obsessing about it at all. I was just living in the moment. Yeah I tried to be a good boyfriend but I wasn't at her beck and call trying to do everything I could to keep her happy. I'm far too easy going for that.

 

 

And in doing so they sacrifice the very aspects of themselves that make them genuinely attractive to other people - potential partners and friends. More importantly, they lose sight of the bigger picture and all the other pleasures life has to offer.

 

That's pretty much like the saying, "It takes money to make money."

 

People are more attractive to others when they are happy and satisfied. But if one requires a partner to be happy and satisfied, they aren't going to be attractive. And so they never become attractive and never get that partner. The loop goes on forever.

[somedude81]

You don't find things that make you stand out. You develop things that make you stand out.

 

That's the same exact thing.

 

How do you know what to develop? You have to find out what you are good at.

 

Few people can just decide that they want to do some random thing and master it.