What is chemistry, and how does a guy inspire it?

[Anela]

Anela, I'm getting tired of going around with you like this. There is always something about me that you have a problem with.

 

Could you just put me on ignore please?

 

I already do have you on ignore, but I saw someone's post in another thread, that quoted yours, so I was curious.

 

I was trying to help you, recently. I'm tired of you not recalling things like that - but you do it with others, too.

[somedude81]

Well, it's good you're not feeling it for Christian girl; she probably frowns on FWB arrangements. Hopefully, busy girl is a bit more forgiving about that sort of thing, if you do manage to get close to her.

 

No way either of those two is going to find out.

 

Regardless, my friend told that I would have to stop seeing her if things got serious with another girl.

[somedude81]

I already do have you on ignore, but I saw someone's post in another thread, that quoted yours, so I was curious.

 

I was trying to help you, recently. I'm tired of you not recalling things like that - but you do it with others, too.

 

Oh, that's interesting.

 

Alright, then I'll no longer feel obligated to respond to you.

 

We just cause stress for each other. This is the best course of action.

[Danda]

I think it's a potential pitfall to treat chemistry like something you can really control, because then you'll wind up perceiving failure when success-vs-failure isn't a factor.

 

I'm a woman and I don't understand how my own chemistry works. It's as mysterious to me as it is to anyone else.

 

But I do know that the guys I have been attracted to throughout my life have varied considerably in appearance, and at least somewhat in personality (if not a lot). So I think it must be something rather subtle? Perhaps complex, as well.

 

That makes sense to me, though. If romantic chemistry wasn't super complex, then it would be a sort of unstable situation, people trying to secure mates and all. Also there would probably be almost no single/celibate people, since people could be attracted to just about anyone.

[MidwestUSA]

No way either of those two is going to find out.

 

 

You hope.

[GemmaUK]

Is this third girl the 19 year old SD?

 

 

The one you've been talking to who you liked until you realised she was too young for you?

 

 

Must admit though that I have been aware of a guy being interested in me before but once I twig that he is sleeping with someone else (as it can be pretty obvious) whilst trying to persue me then he goes on my don't go there list.

[MidwestUSA]

 

Must admit though that I have been aware of a guy being interested in me before but once I twig that he is sleeping with someone else (as it can be pretty obvious) whilst trying to persue me then he goes on my don't go there list.

 

Yep. When my husband and and I had the 'when's the last time you had sex?' talk, I was glad I could express my answer in years, and not simply 'last Tuesday'.

[serial muse]

No way either of those two is going to find out.

 

Regardless, my friend told that I would have to stop seeing her if things got serious with another girl.

 

Did she say that because she likes you or because she knows that other girls won't like that you've got a FWB while you're trying to pursue them?

 

And of course you'd have to stop seeing her if things got serious with someone else. Hopefully, you already knew that!

[somedude81]

Is this third girl the 19 year old SD?

 

 

The one you've been talking to who you liked until you realised she was too young for you?

 

Heh, no it's not her. That girl is a virgin, still

 

She actually came to go dancing with a couple girlfriends last night.

 

While I would jump at the chance to sleep with her, I haven't tried to pursue her at all. She deserves to have her first time be with a guy she really likes who really likes her.

 

Must admit though that I have been aware of a guy being interested in me before but once I twig that he is sleeping with someone else (as it can be pretty obvious) whilst trying to persue me then he goes on my don't go there list.

 

While I doubt that she would every figure it out; what's wrong with a guy who is sleeping with somebody trying to pursue another woman?

 

It can hardly be called cheating if I haven't even gone on one date yet with the her.

[somedude81]

Yep. When my husband and and I had the 'when's the last time you had sex?' talk, I was glad I could express my answer in years, and not simply 'last Tuesday'.

 

When my ex and I had that talk, her answer was a month or two ago and my answer was five years.

 

I didn't have sex for almost a year between my ex and the new girl.

 

Odds are if I have that talk with a new girl I want to date, my answer would be no sooner than, "About a month ago."

[GemmaUK]

While I doubt that she would every figure it out; what's wrong with a guy who is sleeping with somebody trying to pursue another woman?

 

It can hardly be called cheating if I haven't even gone on one date yet with the her.

 

 

I can't speak for all women but for me it would be a turn off. I wouldn't date him, never would and would probably let him persue all he likes.

 

 

I just wouldn't take him seriously, at all!

[xxoo]

While I doubt that she would every figure it out; what's wrong with a guy who is sleeping with somebody trying to pursue another woman?.

 

I probably wouldn't care.

 

But I would care if I were deceived. So the comments that there is no way they'd find out are concerning to me. Either have a FWB and own it (be honest about it if asked), or don't have a FWB. Just own your choices.

 

I think it's great that you have a casual partner, and I suspect it will help you chill out and find some joy in life and people outside a girlfriend.

[Million.to.1]

Heh, no it's not her. That girl is a virgin, still

 

She actually came to go dancing with a couple girlfriends last night.

 

While I would jump at the chance to sleep with her, I haven't tried to pursue her at all. She deserves to have her first time be with a guy she really likes who really likes her.

 

 

So....that's all you are going to say about this "new Girl"?

If it's not one of the girls you have mentioned before, where did she come from?

 

...and if she is only FWB and not dating material, what is it that's wrong with her?

Too old? Too fat? too.. what?

 

I don't understand why we get updates about you eating a taco in your car while a girl you like pulls up in her car, but not about a new girl you are sleeping with which has happened completely out of the blue.

 

Photos or it didn't happen. (i'm kidding) ..... but, spill!

[somedude81]

I probably wouldn't care.

 

But I would care if I were deceived. So the comments that there is no way they'd find out are concerning to me. Either have a FWB and own it (be honest about it if asked), or don't have a FWB. Just own your choices.

 

I think it's great that you have a casual partner, and I suspect it will help you chill out and find some joy in life and people outside a girlfriend.

 

It's absolutely not my intention to deceive or lie.

 

The of course I'm not going to say, "Hey Busy Girl, lets go on a date. By the way I had sex last Thursday."

 

In the early stages of dating, assuming I can even get a date with her, the fact that I have a friend I sleep with is irrelevant. I would never cheat.

 

And yes, there has been a lot of benefits to having a casual partner. I'm more relaxed, feel better about myself, and I feel that I wouldn't have to rush into sex.

[somedude81]

So....that's all you are going to say about this "new Girl"?

If it's not one of the girls you have mentioned before, where did she come from?

 

...and if she is only FWB and not dating material, what is it that's wrong with her?

Too old? Too fat? too.. what?

 

I don't understand why we get updates about you eating a taco in your car while a girl you like pulls up in her car, but not about a new girl you are sleeping with which has happened completely out of the blue.

 

Photos or it didn't happen. (i'm kidding) ..... but, spill!

 

She magically appeared I've never mentioned her before.

 

There is nothing wrong with her at all. Far from it. I'm just obsessed with somebody else. As I said before, I'm only really looking for a woman who is very similar to my ex.

[xxoo]

It's absolutely not my intention to deceive or lie.

 

The of course I'm not going to say, "Hey Busy Girl, lets go on a date. By the way I had sex last Thursday."

 

In the early stages of dating, assuming I can even get a date with her, the fact that I have a friend I sleep with is irrelevant. I would never cheat.

 

And yes, there has been a lot of benefits to having a casual partner. I'm more relaxed, feel better about myself, and I feel that I wouldn't have to rush into sex.

 

A woman might ask in the early stages of dating. I probably would ask all sorts of nosy questions.

 

You know that thread you started about knowing if a woman has a high drive? Honest conversations are the key, and it goes both ways. I have a high drive, and am very open minded about sex. Any new partner would learn that about me through conversation, long before we get naked.

[GemmaUK]

Busy Girl has already told you she is not interested in you in that way though.

You do know that this means you won't date her..yes?

[somedude81]

Busy Girl has already told you she is not interested in you in that way though.

You do know that this means you won't date her..yes?

 

Then what's the point about asking me about my friend?

 

For now I'm single and I have little to no chance of dating a girl I like. I have no idea how long it would be till I actually start dating anybody.

 

There is no reason why I can't have a casual thing if both of us are mutually satisfied with it.

[Rejected Rosebud]

 

I enjoy my time with her, but I'm not looking at her to replace my ex.

Probably one of the reasons you are single all the time is because you actually think that one person can replace another person, you have said this phrase quite a few different times. That is not really the way it works.

[somedude81]

Probably one of the reasons you are single all the time is because you actually think that one person can replace another person, you have said this phrase quite a few different times. That is not really the way it works.

 

Wanting to replace somebody is a very new thing for me.

 

I didn't get my first girlfriend till I was 31 years old.

 

My ex was amazing and she left a very big hole when she dumped me. Being with her was far better than I ever imagined being in a relationship would be. But she is long gone, so I can't keep carrying on the memory of her. I need to move on.

[Million.to.1]

Then what's the point about asking me about my friend?

 

There is no reason why I can't have a casual thing if both of us are mutually satisfied with it.

 

...cause it doesn't really add up though. It's not like you to be so blasé about about a new girl on the scene who actually is interested in you, even for casual sex. This girl "magically appeared", you have never mentioned her before, and it suddenly led to sex and a FWB situation that seems well discussed?

 

We have had detailed explanations about every little interaction with busy girl, lunch girl and 19yr old friend girl for months, but this - an actual progression to something tangible is all secret squirrel?

 

I'm calling your bluff. I think this FWB is a fabrication.

[somedude81]

And trying to find someone who reminds you of her is your idea of moving on?

 

No, the goal isn't to find somebody who reminds me of her.

 

It's to find somebody who I feel is a great match so I'll never think of her again.

 

...cause it doesn't really add up though. It's not like you to be so blasé about about a new girl on the scene who actually is interested in you, even for casual sex. This girl "magically appeared", you have never mentioned her before, and it suddenly led to sex and a FWB situation that seems well discussed?

 

We have had detailed explanations about every little interaction with busy girl, lunch girl and 19yr old friend girl for months, but this - an actual progression to something tangible is all secret squirrel?

 

I'm calling your bluff. I think this FWB is a fabrication.

Ha ha ha! Calling my bluff? What do I possibly have to gain about claiming to have a FWB? This isn't some claim to get adoration from the people here.

 

The story of how things got started with this girl was pretty wild.

 

I seriously don't care if nobody believes that I have a FWB, it was just getting difficult to keep pretending that I was on a dry spell.

[CrystalCastles]

Ha ha ha! Calling my bluff? What do I possibly have to gain about claiming to have a FWB? This isn't some claim to get adoration from the people here.

 

The story of how things got started with this girl was pretty wild.

 

I seriously don't care if nobody believes that I have a FWB, it was just getting difficult to keep pretending that I was on a dry spell.

 

Woa woa, you got an FWB? And didn't tell us?

 

Dude!!! A juicy secret like that! Details please!!!

[somedude81]

Woa woa, you got an FWB? And didn't tell us?

 

Dude!!! A juicy secret like that! Details please!!!

 

Well I wasn't going to announce it

 

Juicy details? Well, things were not planned but started quickly. We meet up about once a week and have met only a few time so far. She's a lot of fun. Very enthusiastic.

 

When she's at my place we're like 's

 

That's all I'm going to share

[Rejected Rosebud]

Well now that you are having regular sex at least you can stop hounding those uninterested college girls and finally focus on your real life that must be about to start in a week or so, isn't school about over?