Author somedude81 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 SD please stop pursuing her, there is about a 1 in 1000000 chance that she will ever agree to do anything with you one on one, can you understand that once a girl knows a guy likes her and she is not interested, she will always be on special guard to not give him any ideas? That is a part of girl code it really is!!! Then this girl isn't following girl code very strictly. Three days after I told her that I liked her, she invited me to go out dancing with her and her friends from the class. Friday night I invited her to go dancing with me and she didn't bring any of her friends with her. Granted I told her that other people would be there, but they were my friends and she never spoke them in class. I think it's a pretty big deal that she came out to go dancing and the only person she knew was me. That night had the potential to be really great and I'm so pissed off that it turned out the way it did. Even though it's highly unlikely, I probably could have taken her to a bar after the dancing and then back to my place. Still if that did happen, it could have been the start of a relationship. I don't know why you don't want to do anything but have sex with this one girl but why not, you will have some female companionship and maybe it will get you over some more hurdles. Yeah I do enjoy the companionship. We actually talk a lot before we have sex. But for dating, I just really want BG right now. Really somedude81 that is an unrealistic point of view, you have nothing to walk away from, you aren't in her life in a meaningful way, just a guy who got a crush on her in a class, that is not as harsh as it seems, you just have a crush!!! move on and look for somebody who reciprocates the way you feel. I'm just annoyed that I've been in this situation so many times and I'm getting really tired of saying goodbye to girls I've felt strongly about and never even kissed them. I'm becoming older, more mature, now I'm having regular sex, and I still can't figure out how to get a date with a girl I like. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Exactly how I ended up in an FWB. This should serve as a reminder that it's not as difficult as you think it is. You got a bit fortunate, but that's how it happens for a lot of us sometimes - especially if your social circle is somewhat limited, as yours is. Getting dates with girls you like a lot already is difficult even if you're good looking. You invest before you get a chance to actually express concrete, reciprocated interest. In your case, it's not reciprocated (currently) so it's likely even more difficult. But your over-investment early on is what hinders you - as well as the fact that perhaps you need to add a bit more spice to your life as it is, but that's neither here nor there. I just want this to be the reminder that even with all your perceived difficulties (perceived by us or yourself), you were able to get into a sexual relationship. Someone outside of the "college" prism too. All that complaining you do, and yet you ended up in a FWB arrangement the exact same way I did Good stuff. Use this experience to grow like I did. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Then this girl isn't following girl code very strictly. Three days after I told her that I liked her, she invited me to go out dancing with her and her friends from the class. Friday night I invited her to go dancing with me and she didn't bring any of her friends with her. Granted I told her that other people would be there, but they were my friends and she never spoke them in class. I think it's a pretty big deal that she came out to go dancing and the only person she knew was me. That night had the potential to be really great and I'm so pissed off that it turned out the way it did. Even though it's highly unlikely, I probably could have taken her to a bar after the dancing and then back to my place. It's kind of dangerous to be thinking that way, asking you to go with a group is friendly, somedude, and she did not think she was going out one on one with you, sure she knew the other people in a social dancing class how could she avoid it? This is how you put it when it happened just to jar your memory I invited her to go swing dancing with me tomorrow night as well as other people from the class. Most likely it looks like she's going. If she goes I'll dance with her a few times but I can't stick to her. So I guess my point with this is that you are having a good thing with a new girl, bg is not interested in you and there is no reason for her to have changed her mind, so stop bothering with her and move on. Don't you graduate in literally two weeks? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 (edited) In the "You're right" thread Quiet Storm made an awesome post about chemistry. Her post completely resonated with me and almost seemed like it was written for me. That is exactly how I feel about women, but now I'm aware that it's absolutely not how women feel about men. The reason that I have done so poorly with girls throughout my life has been because I didn't understand chemistry, and I still don't. When it comes to interacting with women I really don't have a clue what the hell I'm doing. Because of that I just treat women as if they were gender neutral, and my gender doesn't matter as well and guess what, they only want to be friends with me. Can a guy learn how to create chemistry? If so, how? Maybe don't treat women as if they are gender neutral? If you want a woman to feel some kind of chemistry, she needs to feel you've noticed her as a woman not just a grey mate. Also, it does help to be a bit fun and not serious all the time (not that I'm saying you are - after all, I don't know you) but a fun guy suggests you will have a happy time with him whereas the serious guy who is too serious and rarely smiles is worrying and the one who treats you like his mate is confusing. Edited December 8, 2014 by spiderowl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Chemistry isn't always cut and dry. Some women are just attracted to you and you have chemistry when you don't even expect it. You may think you have great chemistry when she doesn't see any. Like love, it can be strange. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Well done somedude! This is how it's done and any experience you gain is beneficial Now DO keep chasing after other girls and get as much sex as possible. Don't worry about trying to define chemistry, it can't be done. You'll just know when it's there and when it's right. Leave the pointless defining to women's magazines and their bored readers. Keep F*cking and surfing! Link to post Share on other sites
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