Imajerk17 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 All this dithering is so unmasculine. Friends wait until class to communicate with each other. So why don't you CALL this girl TONIGHT with a plan in mind and tell her you want to take her out. Simple. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 Best advice ever: "Never let a girl know how much you like her." That sounds like really really good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 I don't think you can possibly 'friendzone yourself' by asking a girl out on a date. If she's interested she'll say yes, and if she isn't, she's just making the status quo clear. The route you're going, of waiting and seeing, has a much higher possibility of your dreaded 'friendzone'. I understand that you might be aiming for the middle ground where attraction develops later on, but if you want to go that route then you have to be okay with this high possibility. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 Basically things between us are completely back to normal, but now she has no doubt that I like her. Which still makes me feel a bit odd that she still wants to be friends with me knowing that I like her. My plan for her is to keep being her friend and get to know her friends. Then I'll ask her out on a date when school is over. She will certainly have more time then. Though perhaps I'll be dating lunch girl by then, we shall see. Oh, no. Geez. It's not that you moved too fast for her. It's that she's not interested romantically. Just isn't. And now she thinks you guys are on the same page about that. Which is why things are back to normal. That's actually really cool of her, and her being willing to hang out as friends is now giving you the opportunity to meet more people and widen your circle and possibly meet other women you might like through her, so DO NOT blow that and ruin this opportunity for friendship by lurking and lying in wait like that. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. This one is not happening. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 All this dithering is so unmasculine. Friends wait until class to communicate with each other. So why don't you CALL this girl TONIGHT with a plan in mind and tell her you want to take her out. Simple. Seconded. Dithering makes you "safe", but contributes to these women not thinking of you as a man with man desires. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 (edited) Oh, no. Geez. It's not that you moved too fast for her. It's that she's not interested romantically. Just isn't. And now she thinks you guys are on the same page about that. Which is why things are back to normal. That's actually really cool of her, and her being willing to hang out as friends is now giving you the opportunity to meet more people and widen your circle and possibly meet other women you might like through her, so DO NOT blow that and ruin this opportunity for friendship by lurking and lying in wait like that. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. This one is not happening. I agree w serial muse. And this also highlights why a few women such as Busy Girl, were so chilly towards you (although I get she is cool w you now). They suspected that if they were "nice" to you then you'd take it as a romantic possibility. Better to just brush you off completely and not have to deal with the aggravation. And going by your plan to ask Busy Girl out again after she made clear she ONLY wants to be friends, it looks like she had a point. Lest you compare Busy Girl to Lunch Girl, Busy Girl was already quite clear w how she saw you. Edited November 12, 2014 by Imajerk17 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 Wait, he's asked this girl out already? Which girl is this one again? Now I'm REALLY confused. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 All this dithering is so unmasculine. Friends wait until class to communicate with each other. So why don't you CALL this girl TONIGHT with a plan in mind and tell her you want to take her out. Simple. I'm waiting to see how the Friday night dance goes. Or in other words, I don't want to make things awkward with anybody so I can have fun on Friday. Most likely I'll contact her some time next week to set up a date for the coming weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 "Never let a girl know how much you like her." That sounds like really really good advice. No, that sounds like really really bad advice. If a girl likes you, why wouldn't you want to assure her you feel the same if you do? Though I go in with the mind set that she may start to like me over time. I wonder if she has the mind set that I will stop liking her? Yeah, sounds right. This one guy I know liked my best friend for years. She told him nothing was going to happen and she's not interested, but if he wants to be friends she's cool with it. He said yes. Unfortunately it didn't work out because he had his own agenda and it was to get her to like him, so he kept forcing the issue and blowing up her phone and inviting her to dinner at his place "as friends" when it was clear by his actions it was anything but, and then eventually she told him to gtfo. Unless you want to end up like him, forget about busy girl. You wrote: "My plan for her is to keep being her friend and get to know her friends. Then I'll ask her out on a date when school is over. She will certainly have more time then. Though perhaps I'll be dating lunch girl by then, we shall see." Are you thinking about continuing to pursue busy girl? If so, I strongly discourage that. She already made it clear that she wasn't interested so you should focus on other girls. If you keep forcing the issue and hoping you can make busy girl do what you want, I really don't think the situation will go the way you want it to. She'll probably tell you to f off. Please, respect her boundaries and look for other women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 Wait, he's asked this girl out already? Which girl is this one again? Now I'm REALLY confused. Heh, there's only two girls. Lunch girl and busy girl. I went out dancing with both girls (+friend(s) last weekend. Busy girl on Friday, Lunch girl on Sunday. They both invited me. Busy girl knows I like her. She's the one who told me that she's to busy to have a boyfriend, hence her moniker. I never actually asked her on a date but I have tried to get her to do something with me. I had an awkward conversation with her over text a week or so ago that ended up in both of us coming clean about what we thought about other. I thought things were ruined between us, but then she invited me to go out dancing with a couple others from our class. Lunch girl is in a different dance class. I have not told her that I liked her, or asked if she was single. Two weeks ago I invited her to go hiking with me, but the plans weren't set and at the last minute she told me she couldn't go. I thought things were done between us; until she contacted me last week and invited me to go out dancing with her and a girlfriend. I haven't interacted with either girl since I've seen them during the weekend other than a couple thank you I had fun texts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 No, that sounds like really really bad advice. If a girl likes you, why wouldn't you want to assure her you feel the same if you do? No idea. But ask my ex, she'll tell you why it's a bad idea. Either way, when I wrote that I was assuming that the girl in question does not like me. Never do I believe that the girls like me as anything more than a friend. Yeah, sounds right. This one guy I know liked my best friend for years. She told him nothing was going to happen and she's not interested, but if he wants to be friends she's cool with it. He said yes. Of course he did. Unfortunately it didn't work out because he had his own agenda and it was to get her to like him, Of course he did. Nobody should be surprised. so he kept forcing the issue and blowing up her phone and inviting her to dinner at his place "as friends" when it was clear by his actions it was anything but, and then eventually she told him to gtfo. What a horrible approach. When I say approach as friends, I mean actually treat them like friends, but with just a bit of flirting and teasing so they don't forget I'm interested. Are you thinking about continuing to pursue busy girl? Of course. I know she doesn't like me now. Two months down the line, maybe. And as I said, maybe I'll be dating lunch girl by then so I wouldn't care if I could get busy girl and just be her friend. If so, I strongly discourage that. She already made it clear that she wasn't interested so you should focus on other girls. If you keep forcing the issue and hoping you can make busy girl do what you want, I really don't think the situation will go the way you want it to. Odds are it won't. But it can. I was told as much by a lady friend yesterday. She'll probably tell you to f off. If that happens, so be it. She will become one of many. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 Heh, there's only two girls. Lunch girl and busy girl. I went out dancing with both girls (+friend(s) last weekend. Busy girl on Friday, Lunch girl on Sunday. They both invited me. Busy girl knows I like her. She's the one who told me that she's to busy to have a boyfriend, hence her moniker. I never actually asked her on a date but I have tried to get her to do something with me. I had an awkward conversation with her over text a week or so ago that ended up in both of us coming clean about what we thought about other. I thought things were ruined between us, but then she invited me to go out dancing with a couple others from our class. Lunch girl is in a different dance class. I have not told her that I liked her, or asked if she was single. Two weeks ago I invited her to go hiking with me, but the plans weren't set and at the last minute she told me she couldn't go. I thought things were done between us; until she contacted me last week and invited me to go out dancing with her and a girlfriend. I haven't interacted with either girl since I've seen them during the weekend other than a couple thank you I had fun texts. Ah okay, thanks for the summary. In that case yeah, I can't see how it would hurt to ask lunch girl out on a date. Why is she called lunch girl, anyway? Do you like her? Or is she the one you were meh about? Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 Ah okay, thanks for the summary. In that case yeah, I can't see how it would hurt to ask lunch girl out on a date. Why is she called lunch girl, anyway? She's called Lunch girl because I quickly had lunch with her soon after meeting her. She's a girl I had lunch with. Do you like her? Or is she the one you were meh about? I actually don't know if I like her. I'm very sexually attracted to her, but I don't know if I want to date her. I don't like her personality as much as Busy girl, whom I really do want to date. I'll probably ask Lunch girl on a date next week. Link to post Share on other sites
Flawlless Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 I am just curious if you have ever been diagnosed with Aspergers ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 She's called Lunch girl because I quickly had lunch with her soon after meeting her. She's a girl I had lunch with. I actually don't know if I like her. I'm very sexually attracted to her, but I don't know if I want to date her. I don't like her personality as much as Busy girl, whom I really do want to date. I'll probably ask Lunch girl on a date next week. Why not this week? How has it come about that you know she's going dancing on Friday? Can you not just ask her if she wants to grab a bite to eat after dancing? Its casual, gets her alone, extends a fun night.. Wins all round as far as I can see. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 Why not this week? How has it come about that you know she's going dancing on Friday? Can you not just ask her if she wants to grab a bite to eat after dancing? Its casual, gets her alone, extends a fun night.. Wins all round as far as I can see. I already have plans this weekend which is why I'm thinking about next week. Friday night is a big campus dance that everybody taking a dance class has to go to. That's why I know that both girls will be there. Asking if she wants to get something to eat after the dance is actually a really good idea. Thanks for suggesting it Lani Something like that would absolutely not occur to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 I already have plans this weekend which is why I'm thinking about next week. Friday night is a big campus dance that everybody taking a dance class has to go to. That's why I know that both girls will be there. Asking if she wants to get something to eat after the dance is actually a really good idea. Thanks for suggesting it Lani Something like that would absolutely not occur to me. Why not? Don't you eat? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 Why not? Don't you eat? LOL and there is your sarcasm again. You're so random I'm just not the kind of person to spontaneously suggest a get together. Especially late at night. When would be a good time to mention it? I'm assuming that I shouldn't wait till she is tired and ready to go home. Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 LOL and there is your sarcasm again. You're so random I'm just not the kind of person to spontaneously suggest a get together. Especially late at night. When would be a good time to mention it? I'm assuming that I shouldn't wait till she is tired and ready to go home. What's stopping you from asking her beforehand? Give her a call and ask if she's going, then tell her you have been wanting to check out (insert new bar/restaurant/whatever that's nearby) and would she be keen for a quick bite or drink after the dance? Otherwise just ask her halfway through, or at the end. Just be casual, if she says no, just go with 'that's cool.. Some other time' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 There's a Denny's fairly close to the school. Does that count? Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 There's a Denny's fairly close to the school. Does that count? If you want her to keep her panties on, then yes. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 There's a Denny's fairly close to the school. Does that count? You're joking right! You're supposed to invite her to check out some new place with you - that wouldn't be Denny's! I think you should call her up tomorrow and invite her to go out with you to some COOL place after the dance on Friday! A place she would be excited to go. Come on do it! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 There's a Denny's fairly close to the school. Does that count? Is this a serious question? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 If you want her to keep her panties on, then yes. You're joking right! You're supposed to invite her to check out some new place with you - that wouldn't be Denny's! I think you should call her up tomorrow and invite her to go out with you to some COOL place after the dance on Friday! A place she would be excited to go. Come on do it! She doesn't drink, and I don't know where I would take her. We would already be coming from a fun night of dancing. What kind of place would she be excited to go to? .......other than my apartment Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 She doesn't drink, and I don't know where I would take her. We would already be coming from a fun night of dancing. What kind of place would she be excited to go to? .......other than my apartment She doesn't have to drink to go into a bar SD. Surely there are some late night places around that serve food? Urbanspoon it. 'Newest around you' section. Or even most popular. Come on, it isn't that difficult. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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