Not at all happy any more!

[Da Lonely 1]

Posting the whole story again would take far too long, so I will link you to Wrong Planet where the main problems are being talked about, but basically if you want to know what happened, I have struggled to move on with my life after losing a few females from my former support team. They supported me in the past because I have autism and I felt I was being lied about future shifts after they initially took them off of my support team.

 

It feels like I broke up with them in a way, even though they were just caregivers who supported me as part of their career.

 

It got to the stage where I got remanded in prison this past summer because I would not stop sending them emails through Facebook. I noticed one of them who is in fact called Joanna now has Rhona as her name (to hide from me).

 

This all occurred after scaring them numerous times and while I did get to apologize in front of their boss, I still wanted to work with them, as opposed to the other helpers they provided to me.

 

At first, they were very polite Facebook messages, but I was feeling ignored and I eventually got arrested one time for breaking a bottle. I went on Facebook and started to be rude and creepy, even after I it leak that I had one of their addresses, but later on after I got released from prison, I wrote to them again, just to say sorry.

 

Well, even that was breaking of rules giving to me in court. Therefore, I ended up jailed for another 14 plus days, for breaching the non-harassment orders after being arrested twice again. I attempted to run away from home, but with hardly any money and nowhere cheap to live, where could I go? People then set me up to be easily caught by the police. At first, it was a senior staff member then it was my own mother. It is freezing staying out in the streets, so how could I do that for days, weeks, or even for months?

 

It is just as well my hearings were under 3 weeks away when I got remanded, otherwise one can be jailed for anything up to 3 months, I think.

 

I've been remanded in jail twice, over my support workers! - The Haven

 

I realize they are not date material, but I loved working with them. One of them used to be my key worker too and I got infatuated with her. I still wanted to work with her, but in February this all come to an end. After she was removed as my key worker, I wound up being told lies for weeks. They did it so not to upset me, but it was wrongful.

 

I cannot return to my own flat (which is supported) 'til December. But all my stuff is there and it is annoying asking others to go get it. Basically, the court ordered me to be bailed elsewhere and I tried asking the boss to give me another chance, but she kept on refusing.

 

I have actually had thoughts of harming the ladies because I think they betrayed me in some sick and sad way to get payback for whatever I allegedly put them through. But it ain't really in me to do these things, but I sort of feel deeply jealous and emotionally hurt. And I feel like I have lost everything dear to me.

Edited November 4, 2014 by Da Lonely 1

[normal person]

They supported me in the past because I have autism and I felt I was being lied about future shifts after they initially took them off of my support team.

 

It's not like someone lied to you about a death or a crime. You felt lied to about a work schedule.

 

Is this really worth being rude, scaring people, badgering people, finding their addresses, breaking bottles, and going to jail over? Not for any reason I can think of. That's a gigantic overreaction.

 

Everyone's been lied to about something. Sure it sucks, but usually the only way to escape a situation like this with any dignity is to show them how little it's affected you. You can only make yourself look worse doing otherwise -- and here you are going to jail over it. You're making a mountain out of a molehill, don't you think? I'd suggest you put it in perspective, deal with it quietly, and move on so you don't cause any more problems for yourself or others. Find something else to occupy your thoughts.

[preraph]

I'm sorry you're struggling, but you've got to learn what's acceptable and what's not or you will end up in jail for lack of any other safe place to put you. Anyone you try to force to be friends or more will automatically eliminate you, because you can't force those things. I know you're used to this facility being your whole world and that makes things kind of concentrate. I know you're aware of that too. So I'm glad you're actually going online, even if it's not working out the way you want (it's not working out the way anyone wants!) and making your world bigger. The more outside stuff you do, the less you should focus on people who are just trying to help you and will not ever do more than that. You've just got to stop thinking of them as your dating pool, dude! All those people have full lives outside of their work that they cannot and won't want to bring their work home with them.

[Omei]

I read this and part of what you linked what I gather from everything is you have an extreme case of anger issues and you end up losing self control. You have burnt all your bridges so dust off and move onward in your life I suggest seeking out a therapist your actions are very alarming.

[Da Lonely 1]

But I don't have a fulfilled life, so I do not even have a tiny bit of what Sara and Joanna do. I do not have a partner. The only one I ever really had used me and she was hardly a real girlfriend anyway. More like a tag along some days, or a money grabber other days.

 

I do not have a job, either. I last worked in 2006 and I ended up having to hand in my resignation, for pushing a girl after-you guessed it-I become infatuated with her. I have never even thought of what I would like to do for a profession. These people made up my life since 2008 alone.

 

The only mate I have is a 53 year old man. I was in college. I could do performances. Now I cannot. I cannot even really go to a shop to pay for something without getting anxious.

 

Years ago, I was not totally socially shy, but it was still hard. I could talk to people, a bit. Then I had a panic attack one time in 2009 because I never slept in days and I was worrying about what the 2010s would hold for me, since the 2000s had been horrible. Now being around other people triggers an attack and I must get out of the way if I sense one coming on (which is sadly a lot of the time). I tend to take buses only if I know it will be quiet. I have never gone far outside of Edinburgh since 2009. The furthest I ever went to was the Isle of Arran. But that was in 2008. And I have never been on a plane, ever.

 

I am not saying having the women back would cure everything, but it would cease my pain. I know they will not be employees there forever and I know 'it is just a job' and all, but would you really want to end things like this?

 

I remember all the good times we had. Joanna and myself, we love cats. Why oh why did Joanna and Sara have to become wicked and bury me in the ground?

[preraph]

They're not wicked. They have their personal lives and they are not mixing personal with work. It's not even ethical for them to have personal relationships at work. They were paid to do their job and everything they did, they were paid to do. Then you kept insisting it become more and I read your history some time back. They got you a male instead and all you did was have tantrums that they wouldn't provide you a female. These women are not paid to do anything else but their job. You can't find that there. You have to find that elsewhere. You can't find that at work. I just think you need to keep yourself busier with regular activities and working out and work off a lot of that frustration.

[Da Lonely 1]

So how do you explain all their lying and interfering approach to my business then? Saying people are just busy is not right, especially when I was only asking when I would get more shifts. The guy doing the lying (called Andrew), well, he just had that look about him. Really smug, actually!

 

I'll tell you what the senior staff members did, in order.

 

-They pulled Ruth away circa early 2011 as I was 'taken too much of an interest' in her.

-I only found out about it from my old key worker, who is off sick now.

-I got one last shift with her in late 2011 (but only because she was leaving).

 

Then there was the charade with my ex-girlfriend, Laura, throughout 2012 and part of 2013. She tried to muck me around again this year, too. She is the one I spent almost 7 years searching for (or stalking) after we met in 2005 and instead of gaining romance, I just got used in the end. Laura was only interested in my money and she conned me a lot.

 

OK. I will continue.

 

-After breaking up with Laura, I asked out Joanna but ONLY because I was messed up.

-They never gave me shifts with her in several months.

-I got ONE shift with her at Number 6 as a "trial" and that boggles my mind. A trial?

-I just wanted to know where she was and when we would work together.

-Andrew who is a senior acted weird and kept saying I would but she was busy.

-Months went by. NO JOANNA at all.

-Because I posted on Facebook about her, they banned me for good from working with her.

 

Then I developed a crush on Sara, my Spanish key worker, while I was having problems adapting to a social life. I revealed this to Robert - he was my favorite male worker, because we played snooker and pool a lot. But yes, he had to go blab to the bosses. Then I quit working with him and even proceeded to slag him off for being a widow, which I guess was out of line, but I was upset.

 

Sara and I had a slow but evident downfall. First, I took her to a GUM clinic (which nobody sane ever does with a woman, even though she was helping me). Then I messed up in the end and I think eventually she just felt awkward, or had second thoughts about having a client like me once I described my sexual life to her and she seemed offended by what I said. I am not entirely sure. All I know is she changed, once confessed I made her feel uncomfortable, then she probably chose to ditch me eventually and ta da, the rest of the events that come to be are a disaster of epic proportions.

 

Sara. Well, she...

 

-Hates me.

-Shouted at me.

-Hopped into a taxi one evening to get away from me in the street.

-Got off a bus one day, but went another way to avoid me altogether.

-Quit doing sleepovers.

-Only acted nice in crowded places like at the band night we went to.

-Any other day she saw me, she acted cold, distant and nasty when approached.

 

How can you explain the way she behaved?

 

Really, now. This is 100% ridiculous either way. I will miss them both until the day I die. It never had to end like this as well. This was not just for my gain and they would not hear me out, so I got nasty, then they thought it would be beneficial for their piece of mind to have me sent to the slammer. That broke my heart, because I know I only had good intentions for wanting to make amends.

 

Edit: I just wanted to know - why you do not have that spell check thing enabled? Having to go back and edit out stuff or alter the posting format makes things look a bit ugly.

Edited November 4, 2014 by Da Lonely 1
I was just pointing out something!

[preraph]

They were just trying to spare your feelings. You scared or at least creeped out these women by your intensity. They're there to help you, everyone there. They saw no reason to say "Hey, you're scaring the staff and also putting them in awkward positions trying to take it into the personal zone." They are trying not to fuel your anger any more. I know you have problems that are hard to cope with. But this is why it's so important you do not cause problems at the very place who is trying to help. I wish you the best of luck. Try to focus your attention on a personal level somewhere else or just do what a lot of people do who find it hard to find love and stay busy doing other activities and improving your skills so you're strong in some other area.

[Da Lonely 1]

The name of this forum actually makes me think of that famous pop song. Come on. You must know it.

 

The love shack is a little old place, where we can get together. Love shack, baby!