Am i just the type of guy women cheat on?

[MistaYates]

My ex left me for her ex boyfriend, i know she was cheating on me with him. She was my first love. We were together 6 months.. And i am just devastated.. My mind is in fog, and it will be for a long time. Life is just meaningless right now.. I've been hanging out with a buddy of mine who claims there is no such thing as a loyal woman. He would laugh when i ask him, and call me stupid.

 

Of course, in my state right now, i agree to this. Right now, after what happened, i cant trust any woman. They all cheat, and its just a matter of time. I've learned that the worst possible thing that you would never think to happen, can happen in a relationship. They will trick you and you would never know.

 

Maybe i was too good to her, and thats why? I mean, when you love someone, arent you supposed to love them, and not be an ass? Im sorry but how love works in my world, and how it works in reality, its not fair. I just want to settle down and love someone.

 

Im not the type of guy to be with women for the amount of them that ive been with, i just want one and only. Is that bad? Should i change my ways? Are there any good women out there who are willing to stay loyal and be in love with me forever?

 

Thats all i ask.

Edited November 4, 2014 by MistaYates

[dclan]

My ex left me for her ex boyfriend, i know she was cheating on me with him. She was my first love. We were together 6 months.. And i am just devastated.. My mind is in fog, and it will be for a long time. Life is just meaningless right now.. I've been hanging out with a buddy of mine who claims there is no such thing as a loyal woman. He would laugh when i ask him, and call me stupid.

 

Of course, in my state right now, i agree to this. Right now, after what happened, i cant trust any woman. They all cheat, and its just a matter of time. I've learned that the worst possible thing that you would never think to happen, can happen in a relationship. They will trick you and you would never know.

 

Maybe i was too good to her, and thats why? I mean, when you love someone, arent you supposed to love them, and not be an ass? Im sorry but how love works in my world, and how it works in reality, its not fair. I just want to settle down and love someone.

 

Im not the type of guy to be with women for the amount of them that ive been with, i just want one and only. Is that bad? Should i change my ways? Are there any good women out there who are willing to stay loyal and be in love with me forever?

 

Thats all i ask.

 

You were probably just her rebound.

 

Did her ex boyfriend dump her, and then she started dating you?

 

I know it sucks, but you should take at least a bit of confort on the fact that, it wasn't your fault, and you probably did nothing wrong. Its just that her heart was some place else....

 

Has nothing to do with how or who you are. It was just about who she is, and what she felt.

[MistaYates]

You were probably just her rebound.

 

Did her ex boyfriend dump her, and then she started dating you?

 

I know it sucks, but you should take at least a bit of confort on the fact that, it wasn't your fault, and you probably did nothing wrong. Its just that her heart was some place else....

 

Has nothing to do with how or who you are. It was just about who she is, and what she felt.

 

She also lied to me multiple times. She kept me as her ego boost, and people that use other people for their own emotional benefit, disgust me. She would tell me nothing was ever going on between them.

 

Sucks i was used.

 

She would sleep with me one night, and then the next day go out with him.

[dclan]

She also lied to me multiple times. She kept me as her ego boost, and people that use other people for their own emotional benefit, disgust me. She would tell me nothing was ever going on between them.

 

Sucks i was used.

 

Well...you sort of walk into that one, but its a good life lesson.

 

Whenever a girl has been dumped...don't go chasing after her. Give her time to heal.

 

Of course the real problem is, that you now feel worthless, as if you had done something wrong, that would make her cheat. You didn't, this has nothing to do with how you are, who you are, how you look, etc.

 

Has nothing to do with you.

 

She was sad, she needed someone to make her feel loved. You happened to be that guy. When her ex gave her the time of day again, she went running to him.

 

Has nothing to do with you. It can happen to any guy.

 

I know being a rebound sucks, but like I said, you can at least take comfort that it wasn't your fault, there is nothing wrong with you, and you did nothing wrong. Its just that her heart wasn't in the right place.

 

Don't hate her either. I know that you despise her for doing that, and for cheating. But its pointless.

 

Forgive and forget. Don't even pay attention to it.

[Woggle]

You probably pick the wrong kind of woman.

[MistaYates]

Well...you sort of walk into that one, but its a good life lesson.

 

Whenever a girl has been dumped...don't go chasing after her. Give her time to heal.

 

Of course the real problem is, that you now feel worthless, as if you had done something wrong, that would make her cheat. You didn't, this has nothing to do with how you are, who you are, how you look, etc.

 

Has nothing to do with you.

 

She was sad, she needed someone to make her feel loved. You happened to be that guy. When her ex gave her the time of day again, she went running to him.

 

Has nothing to do with you. It can happen to any guy.

 

I know being a rebound sucks, but like I said, you can at least take comfort that it wasn't your fault, there is nothing wrong with you, and you did nothing wrong. Its just that her heart wasn't in the right place.

 

Don't hate her either. I know that you despise her for doing that, and for cheating. But its pointless.

 

Forgive and forget. Don't even pay attention to it.

 

So your ok with what she has done? It would be ok to give her another chance within my lifetime if it comes? Because she left him 3 days after they broke up, and then went back to him 3 days after me and her broke up.

 

I see your point. But dont convince me she didnt do anything wrong. Because im the type of guy to believe it, even though i know she lied alot, and treated me like a bandage with nothing but the intention of her getting back with her ex.

 

I shouldnt blame her for what she has done to me? Thats a bit unfair.

[dclan]

So your ok with what she has done? It would be ok to give her another chance within my lifetime if it comes? Because she left him 3 days after they broke up, and then went back to him 3 days after me and her broke up.

 

I see your point. But dont convince me she didnt do anything wrong. Because im the type of guy to believe it, even though i know she lied alot, and treated me like a bandage with nothing but the intention of her getting back with her ex.

 

I shouldnt blame her for what she has done to me? Thats a bit unfair.

 

I didn't say you shouldn't blame her. I never said she didn't do anything wrong.

 

I'm saying that, given her situation, she doing that was a big possibility.

 

You should forget, because she was never worth it to begin with.

 

If you date a girl who is still not over her ex, is very probable that if her ex tries to contact her, she will cheat on you with her ex. Unfortunatly thats a fact.

 

Let me ask you something, why did she and him break up? who left who?

[NopeNah]

So your ok with what she has done? It would be ok to give her another chance within my lifetime if it comes? Because she left him 3 days after they broke up, and then went back to him 3 days after me and her broke up.

 

I see your point. But dont convince me she didnt do anything wrong. Because im the type of guy to believe it, even though i know she lied alot, and treated me like a bandage with nothing but the intention of her getting back with her ex.

 

I shouldnt blame her for what she has done to me? Thats a bit unfair.

 

Uhmmm.. Hell no you don't forgive her! You never talk to her again.

[MistaYates]

I didn't say you shouldn't blame her. I never said she didn't do anything wrong.

 

I'm saying that, given her situation, she doing that was a big possibility.

 

You should forget, because she was never worth it to begin with.

 

If you date a girl who is still not over her ex, is very probable that if her ex tries to contact her, she will cheat on you with her ex. Unfortunatly thats a fact.

 

Let me ask you something, why did she and him break up? who left who?

 

They broke up twice. Once because he didnt like how many guys she was talking to, and it made him paranoid, but she didnt like him being controlling, so they broke up. They broke up again, because she found out he was cheating. Broke up with him.

 

I even asked her. You forgive him for cheating? She didnt answer. I was told by her own mother that he has her on a string and its wrapped around his finger. I just wish my heart belonged to her, rather than him...

 

I felt like i could fix her or something, thats why i stayed.

[Woggle]

Find a woman who has her life in order and isn't looking to heal from some jerk that played her. Never ever be the knight in shining armor. Be the partner in crime to a woman who already has herself together.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

One woman cheating on you one time does not mean you're "the kind of guy women cheat on", however this attitude:

 

I felt like i could fix her or something, thats why i stayed.

Will likely see you getting cheated on again by someone else in the future. If you make a habit out of trying to "fix" broken girls, being the rebound guy and going after damaged chicks, yeah...I can see this being a repeat occurrence.

[dclan]

They broke up twice. Once because he didnt like how many guys she was talking to, and it made him paranoid, but she didnt like him being controlling, so they broke up. They broke up again, because she found out he was cheating. Broke up with him.

 

I even asked her. You forgive him for cheating? She didnt answer. I was told by her own mother that he has her on a string and its wrapped around his finger. I just wish my heart belonged to her, rather than him...

 

I felt like i could fix her or something, thats why i stayed.

 

Well thats the problem, and the reason why should forget.

 

She loves the guy, no matter who much of a scumbag he is.

 

And no, its not that she left you because you are "nice" and he is "badass", and she chose badass over nice. Its not that.

 

She was in love with the guy, he reached out, she went running back to him. He'll probably end up cheating on her again, and again, and they'll break up again.

 

However, you should aknowledge to yourself that, despite your best intentions, you are the one who chose to take the risk of involving yourself with a girl that still loved someone else, even so after getting many red flags (like what her mother told you).

 

So...it was a valuable life lesson. Forgive and forget.

 

And you want to know why you should forgive her? Because in the end her boyfriend will cheat on her, she'll be broken again, and be probably even more sad than you are right now. So trust me, don't harbor resentment, let karma work itself out without letting you be consumed with hatred.

 

Don't do that to yourself.

[MistaYates]

Well thats the problem, and the reason why should forget.

 

She loves the guy, no matter who much of a scumbag he is.

 

And no, its not that she left you because you are "nice" and he is "badass", and she chose badass over nice. Its not that.

 

She was in love with the guy, he reached out, she went running back to him. He'll probably end up cheating on her again, and again, and they'll break up again.

 

However, you should aknowledge to yourself that, despite your best intentions, you are the one who chose to take the risk of involving yourself with a girl that still loved someone else, even so after getting many red flags (like what her mother told you).

 

So...it was a valuable life lesson. Forgive and forget.

 

And you want to know why you should forgive her? Because in the end her boyfriend will cheat on her, she'll be broken again, and be probably even more sad than you are right now. So trust me, don't harbor resentment, let karma work itself out without letting you be consumed with hatred.

 

Don't do that to yourself.

 

Thanks dclan. I know it was probably my fault for allowing the relationship to continue after the red flags. But it was my first love, and i fell hard and quick for her. God it hurts. I just hope one day i'll move on.

 

Right now it feels like i wont ever move on.. The pain is unbearable, and it effects everything..

[loversquarrel]

Anybody can cheat and anyone can get cheated on, man or woman. It's all in how you handle yourself post discovery, and learn what "signs" to look for while dating. Sounds more to me like you were the victim of a rebound.

[MistaYates]

Anybody can cheat and anyone can get cheated on, man or woman. It's all in how you handle yourself post discovery, and learn what "signs" to look for while dating. Sounds more to me like you were the victim of a rebound.

 

I feel like a lot of peoples vibes on rebounding people is ok to do.

 

Just to know shes out there happy with her ex and going through the relationship with him again, and not thinking of me, no guilt, care or anything, is just making me mentally unstable.

 

I feel like i have to mourn her, and i cant be with another woman so quickly.. I've tried, i cant see myself with anyone but her right now..

 

I got the whole "I don't deserve you" Bull shyt. "I'm tired of hurting you, and i dont know why you love me after all i've done to you".

 

But SHE was the one always begging for ME back. I just dont get it. We broke up so many times, but i love her so much.

Edited November 4, 2014 by MistaYates

[MistaYates]

Im just gonna post my NC journey in here. I really need some help from people that are willing. As bad as it is, i feel like I need a constant reminder of why i should stay away from her. Because logic tells me to stay away, and my heart tells me otherwise.

 

Im on Day 4 NC. I've broke it before, i can't this time. God i can't..

 

She has ALWAYS broke it. But now she makes the decision that she doesnt want to hurt me anymore.. And that she doesnt understand why i still love her after all she has done.

Edited November 5, 2014 by MistaYates

[dclan]

I feel like a lot of peoples vibes on rebounding people is ok to do.

 

Just to know shes out there happy with her ex and going through the relationship with him again, and not thinking of me, no guilt, care or anything, is just making me mentally unstable.

 

I feel like i have to mourn her, and i cant be with another woman so quickly.. I've tried, i cant see myself with anyone but her right now..

 

I got the whole "I don't deserve you" Bull shyt. "I'm tired of hurting you, and i dont know why you love me after all i've done to you".

 

But SHE was the one always begging for ME back. I just dont get it. We broke up so many times, but i love her so much.

 

To give you some comfort:

 

Its very probable that she is not exactly "happy" with her ex. She might experience some sort of happines in the short run, because they got back, but I bet you it won't really last.

 

First of all, in their relationship, the guy cheated on her. He might cheat again. And according to your posts, their relationship was very toxic. They probably fight a lot. The odds are in favor of them splitting up again, and this time she will be getting double crushed (because she walked out on a good relationship with you, and because she couldn't make it work with her ex).

 

So in time...she'll be suffering for her bad choices.

 

Now, I'm not saying this so you can dream and hope of getting back together with her. This girl is defintly NOT good.

 

However, in some months...when the relationship with her bf falls apart, she might start talking to you. Remember that. Because at that point, thats the time when you can get even and ignore her, and make her realise her mistake.

 

But anyways, seriously, the best you can do is move on from such a toxic person.

 

I suppose that your the "white knight" kind of guy, so its a bit hard on you not to think about forgiving this "damsel in distress" (or more like whore in a big mess). But trust me, on this quest, time to put your white cape down, remove your armor, go to sleep, and wait for the next adventure.

 

There are always more dragons to slay

[loversquarrel]

I feel like a lot of peoples vibes on rebounding people is ok to do.

 

Just to know shes out there happy with her ex and going through the relationship with him again, and not thinking of me, no guilt, care or anything, is just making me mentally unstable.

 

I feel like i have to mourn her, and i cant be with another woman so quickly.. I've tried, i cant see myself with anyone but her right now..

 

I got the whole "I don't deserve you" Bull shyt. "I'm tired of hurting you, and i dont know why you love me after all i've done to you".

 

But SHE was the one always begging for ME back. I just dont get it. We broke up so many times, but i love her so much.

 

How many times can two people break up in a 6 month period?? This is just poison.

[MistaYates]

How many times can two people break up in a 6 month period?? This is just poison.

 

I know man. Its so bad it can even be funny. I broke up with her for the same reasons every time. She was talking to her ex, and i hated it. She refused to quit, and i broke up.

 

THEN she would cry for me back, and i felt guilty for not trusting her, so i went back. We did this MULTIPLE times. It was a game, pretty much. There was always lies about something that had to do with him, but i kept going.

 

NOW, shes the one breaking up with me. I just dont get it. She played the "I dont deserve you" And "Its for the best" Bull sht...

 

It was more of the "My ex is back in my life, sorry but im going back to him, i got what i wanted out of you, so i dont need you anymore bye."

 

If there is a god, he isnt happy with me for SOME reason.

[MistaYates]

To give you some comfort:

 

Its very probable that she is not exactly "happy" with her ex. She might experience some sort of happines in the short run, because they got back, but I bet you it won't really last.

 

First of all, in their relationship, the guy cheated on her. He might cheat again. And according to your posts, their relationship was very toxic. They probably fight a lot. The odds are in favor of them splitting up again, and this time she will be getting double crushed (because she walked out on a good relationship with you, and because she couldn't make it work with her ex).

 

So in time...she'll be suffering for her bad choices.

 

Now, I'm not saying this so you can dream and hope of getting back together with her. This girl is defintly NOT good.

 

However, in some months...when the relationship with her bf falls apart, she might start talking to you. Remember that. Because at that point, thats the time when you can get even and ignore her, and make her realise her mistake.

 

But anyways, seriously, the best you can do is move on from such a toxic person.

 

I suppose that your the "white knight" kind of guy, so its a bit hard on you not to think about forgiving this "damsel in distress" (or more like whore in a big mess). But trust me, on this quest, time to put your white cape down, remove your armor, go to sleep, and wait for the next adventure.

 

There are always more dragons to slay

 

Thanks dclan, its really hard man. I am a white knight type of a guy i guess. I shower girls in love and trust, and it makes me scared. Because i cant change, its in my nature to be like this. It doesnt make me much of competition either.. But i cant help it. This girl came to me though, so i must be doing something right..

 

But then again she also put me through the most hurt i've ever delt with in my life...

 

Im not the type of guy to smack my girl around and put her in her place. It seems most girls like that, but im not like that. I wasnt raised like that, i was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated.

[Sweetescape910]

Hi. Thanks for answering my post. Listen, this girl has hurt you in the worst way possible and changed your perception on woman. You seem fairly young. And I'm a girl, and I WOULD NEVER cheat on someone. It says ALOT about her character than yours. Not all woman are going to cheat, and if she did it to you, I promise you she'll probably do it with her ex. People who are so wmotionally insensitive are NOT the type of people you want to waste your time and energy on. From what i see, you KNOW what you deserve and you know what love is. You know that you didn't deserve that and you know someone who loves you won't be cheating on you. You don't want to fall into the trap of being the one who cares more. This girl is toxic, this girls a selfish and stubborn, and this girl isn't right for you. But someone is and someone will come into your life. First loves SUCK. If I can get over mine (which was UNBEARABLE) you can get over this. I promise you, time heals all wounds. I'm going to reply to your post on my thread, please answer me if you can and I'll get back to you as well. And ALWAYS remember, emotionally insensitive people are NOT the kind of people you wanna waste your time on. If it helps, write in a journal and write all your feelings and thoughts. I had a huge journal when I was getting over my first love, and boy did I see the change. It helped me validate my emotions. I promise you you'll get over this girl and find someone way funnier, better, and adoring than her. I don't make promises I cant keep.

[mtnbiker3000]

Read this:

 

Is Living a Great Life Demeaning to a Woman?

 

Then read his book: No More Mr. Nice Guy

 

I didn't see it in your post, but I'm willing to bet you treated her like a queen? Put her on a pedestal? Wrong! Be the best man you can be for you. Then, take your pick of women who want to be a part of that!!

[Sweetescape910]

My ex left me for her ex boyfriend, i know she was cheating on me with him. She was my first love. We were together 6 months.. And i am just devastated.. My mind is in fog, and it will be for a long time. Life is just meaningless right now.. I've been hanging out with a buddy of mine who claims there is no such thing as a loyal woman. He would laugh when i ask him, and call me stupid.

 

Of course, in my state right now, i agree to this. Right now, after what happened, i cant trust any woman. They all cheat, and its just a matter of time. I've learned that the worst possible thing that you would never think to happen, can happen in a relationship. They will trick you and you would never know.

 

Maybe i was too good to her, and thats why? I mean, when you love someone, arent you supposed to love them, and not be an ass? Im sorry but how love works in my world, and how it works in reality, its not fair. I just want to settle down and love someone.

 

Im not the type of guy to be with women for the amount of them that ive been with, i just want one and only. Is that bad? Should i change my ways? Are there any good women out there who are willing to stay loyal and be in love with me forever?

 

Thats all i ask.

 

Hi. Thanks for answering my post. Listen, this girl has hurt you in the worst way possible and changed your perception on woman. You seem fairly young. And I'm a girl, and I WOULD NEVER cheat on someone. It says ALOT about her character than yours. Not all woman are going to cheat, and if she did it to you, I promise you she'll probably do it with her ex. People who are so wmotionally insensitive are NOT the type of people you want to waste your time and energy on. From what i see, you KNOW what you deserve and you know what love is. You know that you didn't deserve that and you know someone who loves you won't be cheating on you. You don't want to fall into the trap of being the one who cares more. This girl is toxic, this girls a selfish and stubborn, and this girl isn't right for you. But someone is and someone will come into your life. First loves SUCK. If I can get over mine (which was UNBEARABLE) you can get over this. I promise you, time heals all wounds. I'm going to reply to your post on my thread, please answer me if you can and I'll get back to you as well. And ALWAYS remember, emotionally insensitive people are NOT the kind of people you wanna waste your time on. If it helps, write in a journal and write all your feelings and thoughts. I had a huge journal when I was getting over my first love, and boy did I see the change. It helped me validate my emotions. I promise you you'll get over this girl and find someone way funnier, better, and adoring than her. I don't make promises I cant keep.

[mtnbiker3000]

Read this:

 

Is Living a Great Life Demeaning to a Woman?

 

Then read his book: No More Mr. Nice Guy

 

I didn't see it in your post, but I'm willing to bet you treated her like a queen? Put her on a pedestal? Wrong! Be the best man you can be for you. Then, take your pick of women who want to be a part of that!!

 

And, if it doesn't work out with that one for whatever reason... know you can take your pick again, and again, and again. It's a principle known as 'abundance'. The world is your oyster. Never forget that!!!

[MistaYates]

And, if it doesn't work out with that one for whatever reason... know you can take your pick again, and again, and again. It's a principle known as 'abundance'. The world is your oyster. Never forget that!!!

 

But wouldnt the fact that her and her ex have been together for so long, make my fight for her a losing battle anyways? Due to them having so much time invested into each other, and sharing more than i could give?

 

Im just trying to understand.. Because my girl left me for him within 3 days. But she left him for me within the same time period.

 

Maybe its not that im the type to get cheated on, its just she couldnt get over him, and decided to use me as her emotional band-aid until the scars he left were healed. Then she didnt need me anymore.

 

I just want to convince myself that it was her and not me. Because i always seem to blame myself.