Isnt life weird...how do you explain this...

[Trotters]

We can know people for years & years & years & don't always click with them, yet, one person who you've never met before can come into your life for no reason & you just click with them like you've known them all your life.

 

 

How?, why?

[cerridwen]

It's great, right?

Most mysteries are.

 

Some would say "past lives", other might cite statistics / luck of the draw. I dont know why it happens but it feels like a mini-gift when it does.

 

There are few things better than feeling an easy rapport with a virtual stranger.

And yes, familiarity.

Then sometimes it intensifies and grows ; others burn bright for the brief time you cross paths then they're gone again.

 

Maybe it's us. Maybe we're more receptive at times and it's easier to feel connected.

Maybe it's down to how safe that other person makes us feel.

The safer we feel, the quicker we let our armour down, the eaiser it becomes to find common ground.

Dunno.

Just a thought.

[Haydn]

Yep, i`ve known people for years without clicking with them. It`s like a ritual to meet them.

 

When i meet someone new and click i feel uplifted. Hard to say why, there is just sometimes something about someone who can engender trust and i like that feeling. (Not always right and disaster can follow!)

 

But some mysteries don`t need to be solved.

[SycamoreCircle]

"How? Why?"

 

You don't know them yet.

[Lani]

I've made some of my best friends this way...

We've met through a mutual friend and exchanged numbers for one reason or another within an hour.

 

Don't ask why, just enjoy it. Those connections are rare and should be treasured.

[preraph]

While I do think it can be past lives, I also think you have to be a bit careful when you get that "connected, comfortable" feel right away because people who came from bad households, where there was any degree of boundary issues, neglect or abuse, their brains perceive that as "normal." It's how it was the whole time growing up. They're used to all those ancillary behaviors that people who can be abusive or without boundaries exhibit, and they have already had to develop skills to know how to deal with people who behave like the people they grew up with, so it can even be comforting to them although it signals a negative situation. Example: Maybe the mom always has a critical comeback with either her husband or kids or both. It's not pleasant, but a child will find some way to adjust to it, maybe being a smart mouth, maybe apologizing, maybe doing a special favor to try to soften up the mother. It's engrained.

 

She meets a man who does this same really bad behavior of always criticizing, and she may feel an instant fit with him.

 

So instant feeling like you know someone isn't always a good thing. It can lead to taking 10 steps backwards. Always try to analyze it. If he does a certain thing, ask yourself, "Who else do I know who also does that" or "Who else do I know that always teased me?" "Who else do I know that always played Devil's Advocate?" You may find out it's your parents or someone else and that it's actually attached to a negative behavior.

 

As far as the past-life stuff, I do have one person I couldn't find any other explanation for. Always had psychic-type episodes about him and dreams and visions. Of course, there's also genetic memory, etc.

[bubbletea]

What's even more weird is not getting along with someone and avoiding them, then several years down the road you suddenly click like long lost best friends

[Thegreatestthing]

Past lives and soul ties if you must know.

We can know people for years & years & years & don't always click with them, yet, one person who you've never met before can come into your life for no reason & you just click with them like you've known them all your life.

 

 

How?, why?

[jeffmeyers]

Hormones, pheromones and genetic sexual attraction.

[anika99]

While I do think it can be past lives, I also think you have to be a bit careful when you get that "connected, comfortable" feel right away because people who came from bad households, where there was any degree of boundary issues, neglect or abuse, their brains perceive that as "normal." It's how it was the whole time growing up. They're used to all those ancillary behaviors that people who can be abusive or without boundaries exhibit, and they have already had to develop skills to know how to deal with people who behave like the people they grew up with, so it can even be comforting to them although it signals a negative situation. Example: Maybe the mom always has a critical comeback with either her husband or kids or both. It's not pleasant, but a child will find some way to adjust to it, maybe being a smart mouth, maybe apologizing, maybe doing a special favor to try to soften up the mother. It's engrained.

 

She meets a man who does this same really bad behavior of always criticizing, and she may feel an instant fit with him.

 

So instant feeling like you know someone isn't always a good thing. It can lead to taking 10 steps backwards. Always try to analyze it. If he does a certain thing, ask yourself, "Who else do I know who also does that" or "Who else do I know that always teased me?" "Who else do I know that always played Devil's Advocate?" You may find out it's your parents or someone else and that it's actually attached to a negative behavior.

 

As far as the past-life stuff, I do have one person I couldn't find any other explanation for. Always had psychic-type episodes about him and dreams and visions. Of course, there's also genetic memory, etc.

 

 

Yeah, I don't want to be negative about the whole instant connection thing but there are some things to look out for when it comes to that whole soul mate experience.

 

 

It is perfectly normal and healthy for people who are just getting to know each other to have some boundaries and to hold back a little while they are deciding if this new person in their life is a safe person. People who come from very bad childhoods often have poor boundaries or no boundaries at all. Some of these people have an uncanny ability to quickly break down the boundaries of others and form quick attachments with virtual strangers. You might feel swept away and think this must be a very special connection, like a soul mate while it's just another day for the guy/girl making you feel this way because they always make people feel that way.

 

 

I also agree with the above poster that a strong quick connection can be formed over mutual dysfunctional qualities. That there is something painful and unresolved from childhood in both parties that is drawing them together.

 

 

All that being said, I think you should enjoy your newfound love/friend but check in with yourself every so often to make sure your feelings are healthy and beneficial to your well being. If this new relationship becomes stormy or you find yourself ignoring all of your other relationship to focus on this person then it is not healthy.