Does my ex care, or is he just playing with me? Should I keep NC? (Updated)

[6Pack]

How did you accept it? How did you stop giving up hope? How did you feel worthy when you were dumped? Other than finding someone else. I'm going through one, but I don't want to rely on another person to make me feel happy. How did you move forward when you felt like you weren't good enough to that person and you didn't meet there needs? Other than time...

 

 

If anyone is kind enough to read my last thread, and maybe the thread before to see details, then I would really appreciate it. Going through a hard time and becoming obsessed with this b/u post 3 months. Guy dumped me because I wouldn't give him sex and he wanted to have fun, no commitments. He admitted he still likes me but he wants to be young and free. I feel like crap.

 

The other posters are correct; you and him wanted two different things, and were therefore incompatile. I can understand though, where it sounded like he wanted to no commitments; that would be enough of a deal breaker. But when you said you would not give him sex at all, why is that? Is it a religious thing? I have absolutely stopped seeing girls who did not want to have sex. When I am interested in dating a girl, it means I, as a guy, am interested in kissing/making out/having sex. That is the essence of dating, that there is sexual interest and desire (or at least future sexual interest for having kids etc). I wont date a girl who wont have sex with me, period. I can understand waiting as long as four weeks or something, to make sure the person isnt going to pull a hit-and-run, but one time, I met a girl who told me that she wont have sex with me until marriage, and even then, it will only be sex when trying to get pregnant, HOWEVER, she still expected me to perform orally on her, AND, will not return the favor. WTF??? AT first I thought she was joking, but as soon as I realized she was serious, I ended the relationship on the spot, and walked out to my car and left!! No joke.

[Sweetescape910]

The other posters are correct; you and him wanted two different things, and were therefore incompatile. I can understand though, where it sounded like he wanted to no commitments; that would be enough of a deal breaker. But when you said you would not give him sex at all, why is that? Is it a religious thing? I have absolutely stopped seeing girls who did not want to have sex. When I am interested in dating a girl, it means I, as a guy, am interested in kissing/making out/having sex. That is the essence of dating, that there is sexual interest and desire (or at least future sexual interest for having kids etc). I wont date a girl who wont have sex with me, period. I can understand waiting as long as four weeks or something, to make sure the person isnt going to pull a hit-and-run, but one time, I met a girl who told me that she wont have sex with me until marriage, and even then, it will only be sex when trying to get pregnant, HOWEVER, she still expected me to perform orally on her, AND, will not return the favor. WTF??? AT first I thought she was joking, but as soon as I realized she was serious, I ended the relationship on the spot, and walked out to my car and left!! No joke.

 

I told him I would have sex with him if we were in a relationship, which he didn't want. I guess he wanted multiple girls to shag.

[Sweetescape910]

It's a long process and it requires an enormous will power. The answer is within yourself. What can I say. Nothing people say here will help if you're not fully committed to move on.

 

Trust me. I do want to move on. But I feel like I wasn't good enough to him and I feel really rejected, like my ego is bruised.

[evanescentworld]

Ok hun: Stop whingeing.

Enough of the pity party.

You've been down on yourself long enough.

The guy is crap material. And really? You give his opinion credence, and consider his effect to down-grade you legitimate and justified?

 

Quit looking in the gutter hun, there's an absolute endless universe of stars up there, and they already make us tiny and insignificant, without help from him.

 

But you really do need to quit thinking that what he did makes one iota, one single solitary scrap of negative difference to your life, because it doesn't.

 

As the great Eleanor Roosevelt said: 'Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.'

 

Quit giving him permission, stop complaining, get a grip and deal with it.

 

OK?

[6Pack]

I told him I would have sex with him if we were in a relationship, which he didn't want. I guess he wanted multiple girls to shag.

 

Ok, in this case, he just wants to be F-Buddies (for now); nothing more. And, it is in your right to either accept a relationship like that, or not accept it. You chose not to accept it, because you and him want different things.

 

But, surely there are plenty of other guys out there that are interested in you, right? Once you realize that, then there will be other guys that will come along, who are on the same page with you as far as what you want.

 

One other thing about what you had mentioned before, though. You stated that you want to get to know a guy...but here is the thing....having sex with someone is part of the process of getting to know them.

 

Unless you are having sex with them, then you do not know that part of who they are. I understand that it is great to get to know someone and build a connection, but having sex is a normal part of all relationships and not something to be afraid of.

 

Just remember, maybe this guy only wanted sex, but the reality is, most guys do want both the sex and the "romance" part of a relationship. They want both. This guy wanted intimacy but not the commitment.

 

When I was younger, I wanted to get to know someone for like four weeks and be a gentleman and build up to the sex and all that...but guess what...the girls wanted to do it on the first night! And when I wasnt aggressive enough and making a move, they moved on and forgot all about me! Or, I would find out that they were banging lots of guys...and here I was trying to play the part of the Nice Guy! So, I was getting burned!! That was when I learned that "humans want to have sex" and not beat around the bush (no pun intended) for months on end.