trying to get used to my husband working out of town a lot lately

[Friskyone4u]

Emerald

You have a lot of needs your husband is not meeting right now and from your previous posts have come close to becoming involved with someone in your class, who right no you should avoid like a disease in your marital state right now.

You need to emphatically tell your husband the he needs to be more aware of what is bothering you and he needs to act on some of it. It sounds like his heart is in the right place with his job in that he is trying to be successful for your family but there has to be some sort of balance.

The wedding ring thing is interesting. It sounds like you are hoping by wearing your ring that it will protect you from the temptation of being hit on by men. Don't think that. It is your attitude and response to getting hit on that will protect you. A man wanting to get in your pants could give a **** less if you have a ring on. If you show any signs of being interested the ring will mean nothing. Right now you need to avoid being in situations like bars and clubs without your husband until you give him a chance to hear exactly what you need.

I think you told yiur husband about the guy in class asking you out and he just brushed it off. But I do not think you told him how attracted you were and how you needed to post here to get some advice about it . Maybe you have to revisit that discussion and let him know his being inattentive to you has you being a bit more receptive to other men.

You keep saying you do not want to have an affair. That is exactly what most women think before it happens.

Talk to him like now

[spanz1]

One year I got a vacuum cleaner as a Christmas gift from him...I liked it & it is a nice one that I did say I wanted to get...I was grateful for the gesture but I did have a secret urge to bonk him over the head with it...

 

i have to step in and defend guys here. I gave one once too. Wife was whining about the crappy vacuum she was trying to use, and i found a nice aerus one on ebay for a very good price. So IN ADDITION to other presents, got her that. She seemed to like it....at least she could not bitch about the old vacuum anymore.

 

GUYs see this as an excellent present. They see their wife vacuuming, working hard to keep the house clean, and then go..."wow, that would be a really great present...it would cut her vacuuming time way down...she will love it". So it IS a romantic present, at least in a guy's mind. Kind of the same way a guy would drool over an air powered nailgun when all he has is a hammer.

 

IF a woman really wants something different, then she should drop some BIG hints. Like leaving a macy's ad on the table with a big red circle around what she wants. Guys need suggestions.

[spanz1]

to the OP, you need to SKYPE with him. Try to do it every day. Voice only just does not cut it long-term

[justwhoiam]

IF a woman really wants something different, then she should drop some BIG hints. Like leaving a macy's ad on the table with a big red circle around what she wants. Guys need suggestions.

Spanz, if a woman had to do that, she could just go ahead and buy the thing herself. It totally removes the point of giving gifts, it doesn't come from the heart and not even the man's idea. The man SHOULD make the effort to get to know what his wife/girlfriend likes and give her something she would appreciate.

[Emerald_11]

And you did what exactly of what was suggested in here? Can you please let us know what advice are you taking to heart and what you're discarding? What you are going to follow and what not?

Your advice about the financial cooperation necessary in a marriage really resonated with me. I realized my husband has most of the money & I only have what I make for now & that is quite a bit less than he makes. Plus I always pay bills when I get paid-(not all of them but a good majority of my pay goes towards bills)...When my husband gets paid often he will try to not spend much of it unless he has to like for bills that are due...He will say he has to hold onto it because it is company money- but its not it is his only income. He says he has to save it for travel expenses of working out of town. But I think the whole money thing is a little off balance so I have been talking to him about getting less confused about the blurry line between business account money & his money.

 

 

I have tried to gain access to his bank account for the purpose of paying bills but his business partner who owns 10 percent of my husbands company is very against that he does not want me to look at the account log online or anything so I don't/ can't. The most access I have is sometimes my husband will allow me to use his card when I go to the store but he usually always has it. I do not have my own card or anything. I told my husband he needs to set up a different bank account for personal use and I got him an appointment with an accountant this Saturday when he will be back from out of town. My husband seems to just need help getting all his finances organized and is happy about his meeting. It should take a burden off of him to hire an accountant.

It does make me uncomfortable how protective this partner is of my husbands money and also how much access this partner has to it. I know my husband trusts him but I need to feel security of having access to funds I might need. The business partner has more access than I do & I don't like that. I want my husband to be smart with his money he works so hard for. Hopefully this weekend we can solve this bank problem. His business partner should not be monitoring every one of our personal expenses that move through that account it should be strictly for business. My husband agreed to set up a different account this weekend.

[justwhoiam]

I'm not sure you'll be able to solve the problem like that.

Unless your husband is going to get his pay slip as an employee.

 

Someone in my family started up a company with a partner, they both owned 50%, but left for financial problems (the other partner was taking care of all the finances, and they were much in debt). The other partner went on for a while on his own until he had to close down.

 

But something really puzzles me: there's complicity between them, complicity that you don't have with your husband. You don't have to talk to his partner to look at the account. You only need to talk to your husband!

But let's assume you can't have login & password. Fine. Then ask your husband to type them in so that you look at the account online while he's logged in. Be smart. If the excuses reach the roof, then you must get really really suspicious.

 

Other things you can do: check if his business is registered with a state government agency and for what business. In my country you can get copies of an incorporation and statements of account are public. Check what information about his business you can obtain. You can also ask your husband to show you his tax declaration.