chelle21689 Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 I was wondering if you guys think this is appropriate? I know I shouldn't judge at all over how someone grieves when they lose someone they love but I can't help but think it is a bit inappropriate. This past Sunday at 3am, two people passed away in a gruesome car accident related to alcohol. One person I knew, and he was one of the nicest guys you'd meet that just opened his heart to people easily. The other, a woman I do not know but is my boyfriend's cousin's boyfriend's ex. They share a baby together, she's only 4. Anyways, lately he's been posting a lot of romantic couple pictures of them kissing each other on the cheek, hugging, cuddling, etc. He writes long notes about the regrets of things left unsaid, how much he loves her, how he misses her, how she's so beautiful, calls her "babe" and "baby", etc. They've been broken up for about 2 years so he's been with my boyfriend's cousin over a year and even expressed interest in her being the woman he wanted to marry one day. I know he lost someone he still loves but does anyone else think it's inappropriate to his partner about him calling her "Babe" and "baby" posting romantic photos? I get the rest is okay but the romance I don't know. I know some may think I'm judgmental for this...again I'm not saying he's a bad person for this. I even offered condolences to him and my heart aches for the two people killed and their families. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Its a bit hysterical isn't it? More so as she was with someone else at the time... How is his girlfriend handling it? Think he need to get bit of a grip really. I know its terrible but he is disrespecting the dead as well as the living. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) You right - its disrespectful of this guy - who is with someone now - to be posting terms of love and affection and romance about his late ex. He should have toned the post down a lot. He could have some of those feelings of course - but typing them out publically does not bode well for his current "love". The best sign of true love for another - is respect. An ex BF/long time friend of my wife died recently, I held her as she cried a lot over several days, and offered to fly her out last second to his funeral. It was tough for me to be supportive, because there issues about him and me, but in general he was a good guy. However, my wife was very respectful about it all with regards to me and any public statements. Just tears and missing him was all she said, even if I knew there was more unsaid in her heart and head at that time. Edited November 5, 2014 by dichotomy Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 I agree. If my bf posted about having love for someone, complimenting the good about them, posting pics, and all that is fine... but romantic photos and love notes?? No... =\ So many other unromantic photos to choose from that showed love Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 Its a bit hysterical isn't it? More so as she was with someone else at the time... How is his girlfriend handling it? Think he need to get bit of a grip really. I know its terrible but he is disrespecting the dead as well as the living. Not sure how she's handling it... I haven't seen her. I remember her and the ex got into it the last time because she wouldn't stop texting her boyfriend. So they didn't really get along because of that. She also deleted her Facebook... I'm sure she's hurt for her boyfriend and the daughter but I'm sure she feels awkward too. I don't think I'll bring it up at the next family gathering though..... Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Not sure how she's handling it... I haven't seen her. I remember her and the ex got into it the last time because she wouldn't stop texting her boyfriend. So they didn't really get along because of that. She also deleted her Facebook... I'm sure she's hurt for her boyfriend and the daughter but I'm sure she feels awkward too. I don't think I'll bring it up at the next family gathering though..... Can't say I blame her. Think I would have deleted it too rather than have to read all that. Poor girl. Suspect she may need a girlfriend to take her out for drinks/ chat. Why not give her a ring and ask her if she is OK? As for him, I think he is being a bit OTT over it all and looking for attention. Let someone else give it to him. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 grief is different for many About 1 month after I met the man who is now my husband my EX died. I was stunned & heartbroken. Even though we had only dated for about 2.5 years & it had ended a year earlier, I'd known him & his family for 20+ years, since high school. I cried & walked around in a daze for months. I kept saying that I didn't want him back but I really wished he was alive. One of the reasons I fell in love with my husband was that he was so great & supportive while I processed what was going on. A beautiful painting that my EX did still hangs in my living room & sometimes people still talk to me about my EX; in fact I was talking to his son the other day. DH is find with it. My memories are wistful. There is still some love (as in caring) but no romantic love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 I understand. I was with my ex for 5 years but knew him many more years as a friend. We haven't spoke in over a year due to his wife not allowing him to have any contact with me at all or friends on social network just because...she even had him delete every single pic of us together and untag himself. Even though we haven't spoken a year I still care a lot about him. I don't want to be with him, no desire for anything physical, but I do have love for him. I can't say I love him because I don't know if I can call it that. I just want him to be well and wouldn't wish the worst. If he passed I think I would also be sad, memories would come up, I would say nice things and post photos BUT I would never post lovey dovey kissy face photos on Facebook and say certain things that make it sound romantic like "I will always love you so much baby"... I think my bf deserves some respect. I would be allowed to grieve but I think the partner needs to be thought of too in some way...it's already hard enough for them being supportive I think it'd seem. Link to post Share on other sites
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