Girlfriend commenting on guys instagram has me nervous

[juanito14]

If it were just some random guy and it was a one time thing I wouldn't really mind, but I looked a little closer and it didn't appear to be that way. For a span of about 20-25 posts she liked every one of his pictures, to the point where I think she went back and looked at pictures he posted before she followed him. This is okay since she was doing this during the time where her and I first started talking, but had me thinking that something was going on between them two. She didn't like a single picture from a month before we became official all the way up to sometime last week. It was a simple picture of food and she commented saying 'Didn't settle for college food I C" with the wide eyed emoji and then he commented back 'a bit better than panda express' with a winky face. Now I know it is very likely that I may be overreacting to this, and frankly have no plans of bringing it up to her, but does this seem normal? I know we had a small fight around that time also, but still, it makes me feel as though something was going on. My girlfriend has been nothing but honest with me, at least she has seemed to be nothing but honest. She has told me her phone password and leaves it out on the table when she leaves for a little knowing very well I could go through her phone. She has also told me she has nothing to hide from me, but since I've brought up some insecurities I've had with her before, she just gets mad whenever I bring anything up. I will admit though, I would bring up a problem almost once a week which does seem like a lot. Im just curious if this seems normal or if I have something to worry about? She didn't like or comment on any other picture before or after that one. I feel kinda stupid just for bring up a social media jealousy problem to be honest but here I am.

Edited November 6, 2014 by juanito14

[mariekatie]

If it were just some random guy and it was a one time thing I wouldn't really mind, but I looked a little closer and it didn't appear to be that way. For a span of about 20-25 posts she liked every one of his pictures, to the point where I think she went back and looked at pictures he posted before she followed him. This is okay since she was doing this during the time where her and I first started talking, but had me thinking that something was going on between them two. She didn't like a single picture from a month before we became official all the way up to sometime last week. It was a simple picture of food and she commented saying 'Didn't settle for college food I C" with the wide eyed emoji and then he commented back 'a bit better than panda express' with a winky face. Now I know it is very likely that I may be overreacting to this, and frankly have no plans of bringing it up to her, but does this seem normal? I know we had a small fight around that time also, but still, it makes me feel as though something was going on. My girlfriend has been nothing but honest with me, at least she has seemed to be nothing but honest. She has told me her phone password and leaves it out on the table when she leaves for a little knowing very well I could go through her phone. She has also told me she has nothing to hide from me, but since I've brought up some insecurities I've had with her before, she just gets mad whenever I bring anything up. I will admit though, I would bring up a problem almost once a week which does seem like a lot. Im just curious if this seems normal or if I have something to worry about? She didn't like or comment on any other picture before or after that one. I feel kinda stupid just for bring up a social media jealousy problem to be honest but here I am.

 

 

I'm in the same position as you. I'm insecure and gets jealous easily. My guy used to think this girl was pretty and when he liked one of her pictures, i was so mad. I tried to hide it but we did have fights before.

BUT i realised i was doing this as well, it's harmless when i do it though.

Sometimes i still get insecure but most of the times i would just step back and tell myself that he is with me, not her.

 

Firstly it's not right to snoop through her phone. If my bf lets me do it, i would be tempted to do so too. So i'm lucky that my bf don't allow me to do such stuff. In a way, he makes me realise that it is wrong, which is good for me. As i've seen from his social media, he doesn't flirt but if he goes over my line, i would tell him nicely.

 

In the past, i had alot of jealousy problems but as time pass, with communication, we no longer had those issues.

I used to hate it when this girl keep texting him (she likes him). But he always respect me and only reply to her when necessary. I let him know that i don't like it but whether he change his ways or not, it's up to him.

If he loves and cares for me, he would respect me and not do stupid things.

And if he does, he lose me. His loss, not mine.

 

So my advice is talk to her. Tell her you don't like it. I used to always boil it up inside and unleash it to him and we almost broke up. But i changed my approach towards it. I tell him nicely that i do not like what he is doing and hope he can try not to do it.

[juanito14]

Thanks for the response. I would like to say that while I do have her password I don't look through her phone. I think thats why I continue to have insecurities about it, because I really have no idea what's going on. All I know is that they became facebook friends around the time her and I first started talking and that she followed him around the same time as well, when is when she pretty much stalked all his pictures. I know I have insecurity issues, as I've already been cheated on and lied to, so it makes this situation difficult. For the most part she's given me no reason not to trust her, but I don't know if that's because she's keeping information from me.

[Friskyone4u]

It today's world social media is where most of inappropriate behavior winds up in some form sooner or later. Not sure how serious your relationship is , but if you are " exclusive" and she is on Instagram looking for pictures of guys to start conversations and communicating with, you should not put your head in the sand. Especially with ex boyfriends or co workers. The workplace has become the breeding ground for more affairs than anywhere else now, and they are the hardest to catch and stop. Same for classmates.

[Raena]

How long have you two been together? Is this something that has been going on the entire time you've been dating?

 

In my opinion, her commenting on and/or liking instagram pics prior to you becoming serious isn't that concerning. Very likely nothing has ever gone on between them or if it did, it was before you.

 

They could be just old acquaintances and have it mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. Is she being honest with you about everything? When you asked her about this guy, what did she say?

[juanito14]

We have been official for 4 months now and going out for about 6 months. This hasn't been going on at all during the relationship until that one post 2 weeks ago. Like I said earlier, we were having a fight, and she wasn't very happy with me at the time. The thing is I know this guy isn't a long time friend or acquaintance of hers. She actually became friends with him around the same time, if not after, her and I became friends. I have no idea if anything was going on between them two or if she was talking to both of us at the time we met, but she is with me now. It just concerns me a little that as to why she would do that

[Chi townD]

If it bothers you, then question it. It seems obvious that she's flirting with this dude to some degree. Maybe you need to ask where you stand before you invest anymore time or emotions into this relationship. Good rule of thumb to remember, there is no such thing as harmless flirting. Someone always gets hurt to some degree.

[smackie9]

You bring up an issue at least once a week? If my BF had to do that with me, that would tell me things are not working out. I would just end it.