gd1039 Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 Ok, so I am going out somewhere tomorrow with this girl from work that I am absolutely crazy for. We hung out once before a few months ago, and it was a great time. We probably would have hung out more since then, but she went back to school. When she came back, I couldn't get a good feel for if she liked me, and I'm sure I did a bad job showing it too, so we hadn't hung out again, until tomorrow that is... I'm not certain its a date, and for now I could care less about that. I was reading someone elses thread the other day about how she wasn't sure how to flirt, and I realized my own problem. I can sit there and talk with this girl, and the whole time there is this pitiful voice sceaming in my head "I WISH YOU KNEW I LIKE YOU" I suck at flirting, and even though I really like this girl, I feel like I can't show it any better than I talk to any girl who is my friend. I'm pretty sure she knows I do like her, because this woman we work with was talking to her one day and had said "I like gd1039 likes you" and she replied "yea, I think he does too". How true this is, I do not know. Anyways, so as happy as I am that we are going to hang out, I am completely UNCONFIDENT in myself. It actually upsets me, because that same woman I work with said to me one day "You know gd1039, you talk with all these nice and cute girls, but if you don't make a move you're gonna miss out on someone really good". This woman really is strange, and almost everything she says is a waste, but nothing has made more sense to me that what she told me. I really don't know what to do about tomorrow. Part of me is still afraid to come on to strong, and find out she thought we were just friends, but I don't know what to do to show that I want to be more than friends. HELP. Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 Do stuff with her like you would on a date like hold doors for her and stuff. Then when the date is over give her a hug, smile at her and look into her eyes and slowly move your head towards hers for a kiss, if she turns her head away then stop and just hug her. Then you'll know how she feels without totally putting yourself out there. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 for most men, confidence with women is built gradually with time, age and experience (and a lot of pain and suffereing) please don't tell me you are 35 yrs old GD1039. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gd1039 Posted March 15, 2005 Author Share Posted March 15, 2005 Hund - I know what I should do, but I don't feel like I'm actually able to do it. It's hard to explain. alpha - lol, no, Im not 35. Im 21, and no this isn't the first girl I have ever liked. I have had girlfriends ranging from a couple months to over a year. I feel like I lost whatever I used to have though... I actually thought about canceling on tomorrow, until I get my **** together, but I'm even more tired of waiting to see if something will happen with her. Link to post Share on other sites
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by gd1039 I actually thought about canceling on tomorrow, until I get my **** together, but I'm even more tired of waiting to see if something will happen with her. I wouldn't cancel. It's likely to make you even more anxious next time. Just try to take deep breaths and relax. Be a gentleman as noted above, and above all, just be yourself. Even if you're a little quiet or nervous on the date, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure she will also be a little nervous. Post an update for us on what you decide and how things go. Best of luck. Spirits Link to post Share on other sites
Author gd1039 Posted March 17, 2005 Author Share Posted March 17, 2005 Sorry I didn't update yet, I've been workin crazy OT the past few days. We didn't go out because she was sick, but we set up another time this weekend so I will post after that. Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 Well just try to relax. And try to think to yourself that if you do blow it all is not lost, think of it as a learning experience that will help you in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gd1039 Posted March 18, 2005 Author Share Posted March 18, 2005 I'm starting to think this needs to be a new thread, but I'll continue it here for now. So, I just got home from an afternoon out with this girl. What can I say? I like her more and more the more I talk to her. Of course, I was a wimp and too afraid to make any real move, but our conversation was still great (silver lining?). She is one of the few people that can make me laugh and genuinely smile. So now I really really don't know what to do, I feel like a teenager again. For some reason I'm too afraid to come out and try to hold her hand or anything little like that. I think I'm afraid of how she will respond, I don't want to find out she doesn't like me but its killing me not knowing as well. I know she doesn't hate me, but that doesn't mean she likes me. Who's to say she doesn't just think of me as a good friend? We went to an aquarium today, and I was planning on stopping by the gift shop afterwards and getting her a little stuffed animal or something, but since I'm afraid to show my intentions, we didn't stop. I know this matters to some people so: When we got there I went to pay, and she offered to get her part but I said it was OK, so I ended up paying. The other time we had gone out the same thing happened. After dropping her off, the lightbulb in my head went on and I thought maybe I should drive back up to the place tomorrow, get a stuffed animal like I had planned, then call her and tell her I meant to get this for her while we were there. I know what I should do, but for some reason I can't. I really need some help. Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Don't do the stuffed animal thing, you've only been on two dates with no physical contact, in most cases that's too early for gifts. Just make sure you make some sort of move on your next date. If you wait too long to initiate physical contact she might start thinking somethings wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
paradox Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 I'd say just be yourself. As for me I would be impressed by stuffed animal, especially if there was no physical contact. But you can show her your intentions in many other ways.You can give her flowers for example. Tell her compliments on your dates..like "you look really nice today". Don't be shy. Women always like romantic men and i never heard about a woman who got scared off by guy showing her his feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
paradox Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Oh and i can bet you she knows you like her. Think women generally have 6th sense for that Link to post Share on other sites
Author gd1039 Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 As soon as I read your post hund, I realized I was overthinking it and to just let the gift thing go for now. You are dead right about making a move before she thinks somethings wrong. She is a little insecure and self concious so there is a chance she is racking her brains about it all too wondering why I haven't done anything yet. paradox - some small flower thing might be a good idea, but I think your idea about making sure I give her a compliment is a better idea. Some people might not like the gift thing (hund) and some do (you) but I don't think anyone would think a compliment is a bad idea. As far as getting scared off by a guy showing their feelings, I don't think they would mind if they felt the same way, but if they don't it won't go over well (she may be nice about it, but you're still getting turned down). This situation has taken a slight turn, so I started a new thread instead of continuing this one. Here's the link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=435868#post435868 Link to post Share on other sites
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