Anyone grow up going to day care?

[jakrbbt]

I'm sure it all gets overshadowed by school, but I'm interested to hear from the people who did significant day care as toddlers and young children. I have no experience with it, even my school friends didn't do it, nor did the kids I nannied as a young adult. But from everything I hear, a decent day care is a positive thing for kids. If I were a kid, I think I'd see it as drudgery. Was it ok? Did you do well in school after having done day care? I have a little one who doesn't really have other kids in his life, he's 18 months old and just starting two short half-days at day care, which I like, but he might go full-time by the time he's two.

 

I can't get him into the posh, physically beautiful day care subsidized by the university nearby, you have to be a full-time student for that. So he's started at a very decent, but more basic day care that seems like a miniature version of school but with play areas rather than desks.

 

I'm thinking that the socialization is very good for him, but I don't want to stifle his intellectual growth with too much day care, if maybe some one-on-one with Grandma would be better (he has a fantastic grandma). I see him as shaping up to be one of these kids who will learn and thrive if the kids around him learn and thrive, but would maybe go into his shell if the kids around him aren't doing well-- he's not a little leader, he's an observer. Just my take so far-- he's still so young!

Edited November 6, 2014 by jakrbbt

[pink_sugar]

I did a lot of day care for a few years until I was old enough to be home alone. It was okay, though I was very introverted, so socialization wasn't really my thing. Still isn't sometimes.

[MuscleCarFan]

I did when I was younger because I was raised by a single father. I started going home by myself when I was in middle school.

[mrs rubble]

I have 2 sons, one went to daycare fulltime from a very young age and the other was mostly at home with his dad as a pre-schooler.

The one who went to daycare fulltime is a higher acheiver than the one who didn't. The one who didn't go to daycare is the more out-going/social of the 2. Their personalities are very different though, so I doubt daycare had much to do with it.

[UpwardForward]

I would love to see a study regarding adults who attended full-time day care apposed to those who were fortunate to have a stay at home mother; Got to have their early years - as well as later years summers/vacations to do what they wanted, more leisurely - etc.

 

Somehow I think of going to full time day care as growing up in an institution and with everything regimented. From sleep/nap time etc.

 

I was very fortunate to stay home with my sons, though in those days preschool was still recommended, so they did that for about 3 hrs a day from about 3-1/2 to 5 yrs.

 

My parents worked different shifts. I was a 'latch-key' (trusted) kid very early. And I cannot imagine my life as being any other way - or institutionalized - not ever.

 

I was still working when my grandson came, so unfortunately he went to full time day care early - but I would pick him up there from time to time. Sorry to say I have disdain for the system, though he 'appears' to be a very well adjusted/happy young man. I'm still not going for the 'system'.

 

OP, I would hand your child off to his doting grandmother or whatever, to break any unnecessary regimentation .. or JAIL.

Edited November 7, 2014 by UpwardForward

[Emerald_11]

If the grandmother is ever not available you could possibly consider licensed in home daycares in your local area. It could be a good match for someone who wishes to avoid an institutional type environment.

Many mothers who stay home with their own children have in home daycares/ preschools. In home childcare usually provides a smaller more personal experience that could be a good environment for socialization for the little guy without being overwhelming.

[UpwardForward]

A 'licensed' day care being in someone else's home, still doesn't match up to the nurturing, relaxed environment of the child's own home.

 

Speaking for one of my grandson's day cares i.e. 'home environment'. I don't even want to post on here of their ignorance, inconsiderateness, cruelty.

 

I'm ashamed it happened. Should have reported.

[veggirl]

I think 2 yrs old is too young for full time daycare if you can afford otherwise. A couple days a week would be a great balance. I didn't go to daycare as a toddler but started in kindergarten, I went to AM kindergarten and then to daycare afterwards. My twin and I got kicked out of it in 1st grade it was hella rigid, naps when they told you to nap etc. Maybe we just had a bad experience. I'd rather have my kid with me and then on play-dates instead of daycare. if grandma is an option, imo baby should be w/ grandma most of the time and play-dates/daycare as a supplement to that. A good home environment is priceless, one a kid knows he/she can count on. I'd rather my kid have memories of grandma than daycare.

[gaius]

It's better than being stuck at home with someone who wishes you were at daycare. If you're getting the urge to put him there then do it.

 

It's a perfect place for an observer actually. You learn a lot.

[ASG]

I went to kindergarden when I was 3. My brother went at the same time, he was 2.

 

We liked it. I don't think it impacted us negatively in any way. We actually felt a bit sad for our cousin, who didn't go to kindergarten until the year before he started school. Both my brother and I, at that young age, thought he was missing out on making friends! We had LOADS of friends and my cousin didn't have as many kids to play with.

 

In terms of what happened in the rest of our lives... I was always the best student, both my brother and cousin were bad students. But now we are all accomplished and have careers.

[jakrbbt]

It's better than being stuck at home with someone who wishes you were at daycare. If you're getting the urge to put him there then do it.

 

It's a perfect place for an observer actually. You learn a lot.

 

Of course I don't wish he were at day care! But I do work. Does anyone put their kid in daycare because they "get the urge?" I thought it was all working parents. Obviously, it's a possible necessity I'm fretting over, not something I'm wanting to do so I can go off and have fun.

 

His grandmother can't be with him full-time. His pediatrician, early-childhood therapist, and early-childhood development center all recommended some day care, for socialization, but I didn't love the suggestion. I put him in very part-time but now am wondering what to do if and when his dad can't exercise his custody/parenting time. If that happens, I'm trying to figure out my options, and whether my son will be ok.

 

 

But since originally posting, I found that day care didn't sit well with me. I know he would have adjusted, but he was still crying whenever I dropped him off for his little three hours.

 

So I found an in-home nanny who will bring her young child, and they can play here together. I can do some work from home. I still don't know what I will do if my husband ends up truly homeless and/or living with unsafe people-- I can't afford the nanny full-time.

 

So I was looking for some information and perspective from those who have dealt with day care, so I could know what I'm looking at if it comes to that.

[jakrbbt]

I went to kindergarden when I was 3. My brother went at the same time, he was 2.

 

We liked it. I don't think it impacted us negatively in any way. We actually felt a bit sad for our cousin, who didn't go to kindergarten until the year before he started school. Both my brother and I, at that young age, thought he was missing out on making friends! We had LOADS of friends and my cousin didn't have as many kids to play with.

 

In terms of what happened in the rest of our lives... I was always the best student, both my brother and cousin were bad students. But now we are all accomplished and have careers.

 

Yes, I think there's some evidence that kids who go to day care as toddlers have a better shot at doing well in school early on, especially compared to children who don't have the opportunity to socialize at that young age.

[jakrbbt]

If the grandmother is ever not available you could possibly consider licensed in home daycares in your local area. It could be a good match for someone who wishes to avoid an institutional type environment.

Many mothers who stay home with their own children have in home daycares/ preschools. In home childcare usually provides a smaller more personal experience that could be a good environment for socialization for the little guy without being overwhelming.

 

It's a good suggestion, but I think I'm going with a part-time nanny. My problem with in-home day care is the relatively lower overview, and thus the risk. When practicing criminal law I just saw too many things that put me off the idea of a small, in-home day-care.

[UpwardForward]

 

So I was looking for some information and perspective from those who have dealt with day care, so I could know what I'm looking at if it comes to that.

 

I forgot his age. If he is not potty trained, try to potty train him yourself.

 

Most of the day cares I observed, took in all ages.

 

His mother was all to happy for the daycare to potty train him. When she bragged to us that they put them ontop of an open adult toilet for them to grab onto the seat - or fall in, I called the daycare and asked that I could bring a potty seat for him.

 

WWIII began. My grandson's mother was embarrassed when daycare told her I (the grandmother) had called them. She came to my shop, and yelled at my son outside for about 30 minutes, hoping I would hear. (People should be careful who they sleep with, but so often have to find out for themselves.)

 

Also, I observed when he was in diapers - the same day care would use baby powder when changing him. This is a no no. I've known for nearly 50 yrs that baby powder can get into the baby's lungs.

 

Noticeable at all daycares he attended was that with the Regimentation, the baby/child is usually not able to wake on their own, or finish their naps. They are woken, even if it would be by someone's Toe.

 

All day cares accommodated the children with only diff types of mattresses or just blankets on the Floor - for their naps.

 

It goes without saying, nurturing isn't available as with a parent/child setting.

 

The only pluses I can see is that of the child being with other children, and early childhood education.

Edited November 26, 2014 by UpwardForward

[bubbletea]

I went from the time I was in preschool until about 6th grade! I can tell you it was living hell. I had to wake up early in the morning to be dropped off at 6am during elementary school, and I stayed late at night, sometimes until 6pm.

 

I had a couple friends who went also, so that gave us more time together I guess. But really I hated it. Not a whole lot of good memories there. I had to go there during summer day camp & winter day camp also, all day long... The good part was that we had field trips and always did some fun stuff during those summer days (living in california--lots of amusement parks).

 

The only benefit I see was more socializing as you mentioned. I was an only child and would be alone by myself otherwise. My parents would often just socialize with each other or watch tv instead of play with me. I was also really active and skinny because we were always running around and going outside. I'm not sure if they do that these days anymore though...

 

I can tell you the daycare I went to never made sure we did homework, and I have no memories of ever studying or having homework in elementary school. I'm pretty sure it just never got done, not that they never assigned us any. I just have absolutely no memory of it so I can't say for sure that it existed. Crazy right?

Edited November 28, 2014 by bubbletea