gaius Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 Uh no, that's not the same situation at all. Scary that anyone thinks it is. You're right. He ended up not touching her and she was all bummed out. It felt bad. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 I really wonder if she did anything at all to encourage him. My guess is that at some point when they were sleeping they were basically spooning. They may or may not have started this way. Either way she didn't do anything to stop him. Throughout the night she wakes up to find his hands on her body. Once again she doesn't do anything to stop him or try to move away. Then she wakes up find him fingering her which is a complete shock, but she's also enjoying it. Did she make any sounds of pleasure? How about when his hands where running over her body? If I'm sleeping next to a girl, her butt in my crotch and she lightly moans when I grab her breast, that's pretty much a green light. Still I would want to confirm that she is awake before I go any further than light petting. Link to post Share on other sites
Snaggletooth Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 Why are you so intent on turning her into a victim if she decides she doesn't want to be one? And if I wake up and feel someone taking my wallet out of my pocket and don't stop them because it feels so good it would be pretty bogus to report them to the cops for robbery . =/ I might even be wracked with guilt over getting them in so much trouble when they didn't do something that warranted it. One of my favorite female writers wrote an essay on this exact conflict in women but she can't get it published by her normal publishers because it's not something we can apparently discuss honestly as a society yet. But it's still theft, and that's the point. The question was "is this assault". As the OP was asleep and unable to give consent, yes, it was. He had the chance to arouse her while she did not know what was going on. She should not be made to feel bad about her body's reaction nor blamed for what he did. What she does now is down to her and she should not be pressured by projections of guilt if she reports this, nor pressured to report a dangerous sexual predator. As it is, she has not returned to this thread and I don't blame her. This is the abuse section of a support forum and she is being blamed for what a man did to her while she was asleep. Which is pretty sick. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 But it's still theft, and that's the point. The question was "is this assault". As the OP was asleep and unable to give consent, yes, it was. He had the chance to arouse her while she did not know what was going on. She should not be made to feel bad about her body's reaction nor blamed for what he did. What she does now is down to her and she should not be pressured by projections of guilt if she reports this, nor pressured to report a dangerous sexual predator. As it is, she has not returned to this thread and I don't blame her. This is the abuse section of a support forum and she is being blamed for what a man did to her while she was asleep. Which is pretty sick. I'm guessing she hasn't returned to the thread because she made the choice not to do anything about it and doesn't need us anymore. But the reactions to her and to TigerLilly were definitely interesting to see. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 But it's still theft, and that's the point. The question was "is this assault". As the OP was asleep and unable to give consent, yes, it was. He had the chance to arouse her while she did not know what was going on. She should not be made to feel bad about her body's reaction nor blamed for what he did. What she does now is down to her and she should not be pressured by projections of guilt if she reports this, nor pressured to report a dangerous sexual predator. As it is, she has not returned to this thread and I don't blame her. This is the abuse section of a support forum and she is being blamed for what a man did to her while she was asleep. Which is pretty sick. She wasn't asleep thu the entire situation she herself said this thats the difference in my eyes anyways but again lets glaze over that fact cause it doesn't help the hunt.. Far as hers body's natural reaction? getting wet is one thing thats the body's "natural" response her consciously not stopping him fingering her because in her own words "it felt good" is not. Thats a personal choice she choose to sit there and enjoy the sensation for a bit until she also made a conscious decision not to and at that point he stopped immediately.. So calling him a dangerous sexual predator and a pervert and creep isn't also pressuring this girl? instead of telling her to take a step back let things cool off and maybe trying to talk to him again and figure out what happened exactly first..right is the hot tar and feathers ready yet just wondering... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 No question, he was wrong for touching you when you were sleeping, and hadn't given him any permission to touch you. There's the clear line he stepped over. Yuck, blech, ick, yuck, ugh Regarding legalities and technical assault, I have no idea. But I'd keep my distance from this guy, and call him out on it directly. Yes, I'd tell my brother, too. Shine a light on it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 I think we will call this one done, if the thread starter would like it re-opened when they come back online then alert on this post we will do so, thanks for all who participated Link to post Share on other sites
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