Why is it so hard not to feel down?

[Camaro Guy]

Today is another one of "those" days. I can't help but feel as if I'm deficient in something. I have everything I want in my life except romantic success with women. Everywhere I turn some guy has a girlfriend or some girl he's hooking up with. It makes me feel like I don't belong here. Even though I know I need to keep going, seeing the same thing over and over again isn't fun. I just want to know if my ship will ever sail and if I'll ever meet a cool girl.

 

What do you do to not feel down? Why is it so hard not to feel envious?

[ExtraSpice]

Feeling envious is very difficult to avoid esp when you have the feeling that something in you is lacking. I feel that way too. I look at my life objectively and I see success. I see growth and I see improvement. Yet it is hard for me to shake the irrational feeling that I am missing something.

 

My issue is that I am not a social butterfly. And while that is perfectly okay, for some reason it bothers me to no end. I am great one on one or in a three to four person group but throw me in a party where I don't really know anyone and I end up feeling extremely awkward. And then seeing my friends or random people just flourish in these environments as if it is so natural to them makes me feel envious and as though I am less.

 

The good thing is that these feeling are not always there, they come and go. And when I get them I have discussions with myself. I try to rationalize the feeling. If I do find that what I feel is something reasonable to feel down about then I try to see what I can to better myself. I try to see myself through the eyes of others because I feel that we are overly critical of ourselves.

 

The problem is that I expect things to make a sudden 180 and bham feelings gone and I am good to go. But the truth is that it is a long process, takes time. I also remind myself that by feeling envious I am allowing someone else's happiness to become my sadness. And that should not be the case. If I can feel happy about things that other people have or are doing then I feel that I am saying to myself "Great for them, I am sure I will get those moments of happiness as well." Instead of saying "Man, I don't think I'll ever get that."

 

All in all I have good days and bad days. I think I am making progress. The only way I know how is to concentrate on yourself and what you have, not on what others have. Don't compare yourself to others because every body is different.