AVarma Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Unfortunately for me it's come to this. I'm 28 and a virgin. I've never even kissed a girl or been on a date. So I guess I was wondering how many of you ladies would date a guy like me? Somebody my age who you knew hadn't experienced these things? I know it's weird but would it prevent you from dating a guy like me? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Would you date a cougar?......then yes, if I was single I would. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
MightyHeracross Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Well I'm not a girl, but I'm in a similar situation to you... Just 7 years younger. So I'm interested to hear the responses. Link to post Share on other sites
randomnerd Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 If I am into someone enough to try to date them it wouldn't bother me at all. While I don't think it would be something to tell on the first date necessarily, I would appreciate the honesty as opposed to someone making up a sexual history to seem more experienced. It would make me more understanding of any hesitation or nerves you'd be experiencing if it went that far. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Like smackie9, I'm older than you but I would be open to it if it were the right guy and we had the right chemistry going into it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
simsim Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 nope. confidence and charm attracts me way more than looks/career. i'm also into guys who are dominant in the bedroom and virgins usually aren't great in that arena. a lot of women would be open to it though. (i'm 28) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Not a deal-breaker in my eyes. It can be fun to teach. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 I honestly don't get guys like you. Why the hell are you qualifying yourself to someone? You are who you are man, if she don't accept it, then find someone else that would. Seriously, you need to work on your own self issues if you think this is some sort of barrier to finding a relationship. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 I honestly don't get guys like you. Why the hell are you qualifying yourself to someone? You are who you are man, if she don't accept it, then find someone else that would. Seriously, you need to work on your own self issues if you think this is some sort of barrier to finding a relationship. This is why he is still a virgin...... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Not on purpose. However, I would date a nice guy who I found interesting & attractive. If things progressed to the bedroom & I found out afterwards that he had been a virgin it wouldn't upset me but I'd run if some guy announced that stuff to me on an early date. FWIW, I had a date from OLD with a 50+ year old who told me on our 1st date which was already going horribly imo that he wanted to consummate his marriage, impregnate his wife & lose his virginity all in the same act. I couldn't get out of there fast enough! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Ah, the virgin-of-the-month has arrived seeking validation. Take it from a guy who was once in your shoes: You're putting a whole lot of thought into something that matters a whole lot of not. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Sure, ladies can dig that. If I liked a guy and felt a connection with him then I'd date him, even if he was a virgin, yes. But if the guy was squeamish about affection (kissing...) and after a while of dating me still not being intimate in the bedroom with me, then I would stop seeing him. /= Affection is very important to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haerts Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 I'm curious as to why are you still virgin or never kissed a girl. I mean, you certainly have wanted that for a long time, so why not go for it? To me it seems like you're lacking so much self confidence at the point you'd think no girl is good enough for you and if you think that way, then something must be done. Maybe you should start looking at yourself and realizing what can you do to change your appareance - maybe you're too fat or too thin, maybe you don't take care of your health/higiene, and things like that. I can't assume any but what I'm trying to say is: take a look at yourself and see how you can improve it. I can guarantee you you'll start feeling a lot better. I'd start working out in a gym and going out more often. It's a proccess, but eventually you'll notice how much better you're doing. Also, yes, I would - actually, I've gone on dates with a guy who was 27 at the time and virgin (never kissed before either). It would really depend on how the guy is though - regarding his appearence, way of thinking about things, etc. That guy I dated was really cute, I was never sure why he was virgin and hadn't kissed a girl before tho. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 No it would show a total lack of confidence,vigour and passion.a timidity which would probably only hold you back too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AVarma Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 I'm curious as to why are you still virgin or never kissed a girl. I mean, you certainly have wanted that for a long time, so why not go for it? The issue isn't so much me not going for it but that I don't have the opportunity. I've asked out many girls only to be turned down every time. As for why I didn't do it when everyone else was,well, when I was young I was a introverted loner. Didn't have any friends. Sat by myself at lunch. No friends meant no parties. No parties meant no girls. And naturally no girls meant no kissing, sex, etc. I went to a handful of parties in college (literally the number of parties I went to in college can be counted on one hand) where girls basically ignored me and unfortunately after college I've sort of gone back to my high school state. Unfortunately once you've missed out on girls and partying it seems its pretty much impossible to a make up for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Not on purpose. However, I would date a nice guy who I found interesting & attractive. If things progressed to the bedroom & I found out afterwards that he had been a virgin it wouldn't upset me but I'd run if some guy announced that stuff to me on an early date. FWIW, I had a date from OLD with a 50+ year old who told me on our 1st date which was already going horribly imo that he wanted to consummate his marriage, impregnate his wife & lose his virginity all in the same act. I couldn't get out of there fast enough! Its at times like this that I wish I were batting for team pink!!! I think I love you your comments are so spot on! The story of that date must also go down in the history books! Never grows old. So in answer to your question OP... would I be all over a man with little experience? Heck yes as long as he quit wittering on about it. Would I leap into bed with a chap moaning on about how he has never put his penis into a vagina before.... heck no! My advice. Shut up. Find someone who you enjoy being, read books so you know what to do and when time comes enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 The fact that you are a virgin probably wouldn't stop anyone from dating you. It's whatever has kept you from dating in the past that would keep them from dating you. In other words, virginity itself isn't a cock block. After all, all nonvirgins were virgins right up to the moment they had sex (probably one of the most profound statements ever LOL) so virginity is not a deal breaker. It's the other things that have prevented you from dating and interacting on a personal level in the past that is what is preventing you now. Correct those things and and then you can stand as good a chance as anyone else. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
OwMyEyeball Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 The issue isn't so much me not going for it but that I don't have the opportunity. I've asked out many girls only to be turned down every time. As for why I didn't do it when everyone else was,well, when I was young I was a introverted loner. Didn't have any friends. Sat by myself at lunch. No friends meant no parties. No parties meant no girls. And naturally no girls meant no kissing, sex, etc. I went to a handful of parties in college (literally the number of parties I went to in college can be counted on one hand) where girls basically ignored me and unfortunately after college I've sort of gone back to my high school state. Unfortunately once you've missed out on girls and partying it seems its pretty much impossible to a make up for it. Speaking as someone who didn't "lose the V card" until 28 and didn't even start seriously dating or even get into a serious relationship until 32: That's a crock of poop There's very little to make up for unless you're entirely socially bereft. If that's the case then you're best to take small steps towards first establishing friendships, professional acquaintances (through work / school) and casual relationships (through social clubs, sports leagues, Meetups, etc.) before tackling the intricacies of romance. It's never too late. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WomenWubber Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 The issue isn't so much me not going for it but that I don't have the opportunity. I've asked out many girls only to be turned down every time. As for why I didn't do it when everyone else was,well, when I was young I was a introverted loner. Didn't have any friends. Sat by myself at lunch. No friends meant no parties. No parties meant no girls. And naturally no girls meant no kissing, sex, etc. I went to a handful of parties in college (literally the number of parties I went to in college can be counted on one hand) where girls basically ignored me and unfortunately after college I've sort of gone back to my high school state. Unfortunately once you've missed out on girls and partying it seems its pretty much impossible to a make up for it. You're right. But dwelling on that is pointless unless you want to be stuck in the same place for life, grow old and die full of regrets. I don't think you'd like that. My uncle certainly didn't and my grandma hated it, because she had to drag him out of the bar every friday night until he died of cirrhosis. The only people who attended his funeral were my grandma his drinking pals. You still have a lot of life in you. It's too early to feel sorry about yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
labayer Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Unfortunately for me it's come to this. I'm 28 and a virgin. I've never even kissed a girl or been on a date. So I guess I was wondering how many of you ladies would date a guy like me? Somebody my age who you knew hadn't experienced these things? I know it's weird but would it prevent you from dating a guy like me? Yes,it is unusual, but yes, I would date a guy who's 28 and a virgin (I'm 27 btw). To be honest, I would prefer a 28 years old virgin over a guy who's already been with a ton of girls. The only thing I'd be worried about is that he might think in the future that he didn't have enough girls (well, just me haha). Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 I can't stand men who sleep around constantly so I'd say that if I were in my 20's, the only thing that would bother me about you being a virgin is why you are, and that you may not have 'sowing your wild oats' out of your system. This is why young marriages rarely last, because the people haven't had enough experience with others. And that doesn't necessarily involve having sex with a lot of people, it just means that it's usually better when people have experiences with different people before settling down. Also, if you're a virgin, it would concern me that you may be awkward socially, uncomfortable with intimacy, or overly religious. So, the answer to those things would be the things that are important. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 If you're a good guy, yes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 I have posted on this topic before and have gotten some rather vicious responses. I met a guy who said he never had sex until age 29, I met another who said he had never had sex with a woman before (when he was 23) and asked me to be that first one he would ever do it with. Which I did but that was another ballgame. I asked how this is possible and I got some angry responses from people on this forum. Someone said to me that I am thinking like a woman and I just don't understand how hard it is for guys to get laid. I guess I was, and I am a woman. But to answer your question, would I want to be with someone like you? Aside from the fact I know nothing about you other than this fact unless you are wearing a sign saying so around your neck, I would say yes. Unless you prove yourself a terrible person I would at least give you a shot. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 I have posted on this topic before and have gotten some rather vicious responses. I met a guy who said he never had sex until age 29, I met another who said he had never had sex with a woman before (when he was 23) and asked me to be that first one he would ever do it with. Which I did but that was another ballgame. I asked how this is possible and I got some angry responses from people on this forum. Someone said to me that I am thinking like a woman and I just don't understand how hard it is for guys to get laid. I guess I was, and I am a woman. But to answer your question, would I want to be with someone like you? Aside from the fact I know nothing about you other than this fact unless you are wearing a sign saying so around your neck, I would say yes. Unless you prove yourself a terrible person I would at least give you a shot. Well, to be quite honest, it's fairly easy for most men to get laid or get into relationships. If you look at most studies on the subject around 5-7% of men are virgins by age 25. So it's rare to find a guy in his mid to late 20s who is inexperienced. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 The fact that you are a virgin probably wouldn't stop anyone from dating you. It's whatever has kept you from dating in the past that would keep them from dating you. In other words, virginity itself isn't a cock block. After all, all nonvirgins were virgins right up to the moment they had sex (probably one of the most profound statements ever LOL) so virginity is not a deal breaker. It's the other things that have prevented you from dating and interacting on a personal level in the past that is what is preventing you now. Correct those things and and then you can stand as good a chance as anyone else. I'm a woman close to your age, OP, and my answer is pretty much what oldshirt just said. It depends on your reasons and what you're choosing to do differently. Also, virginity is irrelevant to me (and it's really not that easily defined), it would be the fact that you've never had a R that would prompt me to think along the lines above. Link to post Share on other sites
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