Ladies, would you date a 28 year old virgin?

[AVarma]

No it's not. Personal experience.

 

Personal experience? I think we need a story..

[Danda]

Meant no it wouldn't prevent me from dating him, not no I wouldn't date him lol. Won;t let me edit my post though.

[AVarma]

A virgin has no idea what he's doing. Trust me. I'm 45 and have yet to have sex or even a kiss and that's puts me behind the average 12 year old. In short I'd try any ladies patience.

 

12 year olds don't have sex man.

[Danda]

A virgin has no idea what he's doing. Trust me. I'm 45 and have yet to have sex or even a kiss and that's puts me behind the average 12 year old. In short I'd try any ladies patience.

 

No, you wouldn't. That's just an irrational fear you have. Women are a bit more dominant (or can be) in bed would really enjoy having an eager newby to boss around as their personal sex pet. You can do all sorts of role play with it, too. For example 'Sex Ed' where the teacher believes that leaning via 'experience' is best. Trust me I've watched enough kinky porn to know. You just have to hook up with the right woman.

[AVarma]

No, you wouldn't. That's just an irrational fear you have. Women are a bit more dominant (or can be) in bed would really enjoy having an eager newby to boss around as their personal sex pet. You can do all sorts of role play with it, too. For example 'Sex Ed' where the teacher believes that leaning via 'experience' is best. Trust me I've watched enough kinky porn to know. You just have to hook up with the right woman.

 

A lot of women, from what I can see, say they find the idea of teaching a man extremely unsexy. Maybe a cougar with a younger man but a 45 year old?

[somedude81]

Personal experience? I think we need a story..

 

I was 35 and she was talking sexy. We had a date an hour later and she was cold towards me, made an excuse and left after 25 minutes.

 

I was (and still am) 33. We were talking sexy for a couple weeks.

 

We were going to meet up just as friends at a bar.

 

We had sex twice that night and at least once the following morning.

 

I've met up with her four times so far.

[SomeDude16]

I just don't understand the logic here, if it truly makes you nervous and concerned that you are a virgin, why even bring it up with a woman? Don't bring it up, let your actions talk not your words. Play along and it won't be a problem. After you have sex if you feel some sort of inclination to mention it feel free. As cliche as it sounds let your body do the talking

[AVarma]

I just don't understand the logic here, if it truly makes you nervous and concerned that you are a virgin, why even bring it up with a woman? Don't bring it up, let your actions talk not your words. Play along and it won't be a problem. After you have sex if you feel some sort of inclination to mention it feel free. As cliche as it sounds let your body do the talking

 

Insecurity. I actually asked this question and was surprised how many women said not to say anything. I guess a lot of virgin men want validation and feel that somehow telling a woman that he is a virgin will make their relationship closer somehow.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/504572-tell-her-i-m-virgin-before-sex

 

In all seriousness though there will probably be signs that he's inexperienced, such as when he finishes after 30 seconds. But I guess if she cares about him she won't say anything to spare his dignity, a don't ask don't tell situation. I'm not really an expert on any of this so keep in mind this is pure speculation.

[Danda]

A lot of women, from what I can see, say they find the idea of teaching a man extremely unsexy. Maybe a cougar with a younger man but a 45 year old?

 

If you have formed at least a budding relationship with a woman by the time the two of you are getting it on, then there's a very slim chance it's going to be a huge deal, unless she totally tricked you into thinking she was kind and cared about you and SURPRISE she's a total shallow bitch.

 

But if you're looking for casual, then just make a kink out of it. It's all in the attitude. If you made a casual sex / NSA / FWB type ad, you don't even have to say you're a virgin. Just describe some kinky teacher/prisoner/whatever role play you wanna do in which the woman bosses you around, and you're good to go.

 

Either way it'll be okay, you can chill.

Edited December 18, 2014 by Danda

[E-Squared]

One thing that I must add is that in the past, I have been rather defensive with a woman when she asked me if I was a virgin. Actually, it was I think maybe two women who I got rather defensive. To put it more bluntly, I can say that I absolutely hate being asked if I am a virgin. A female friend told me that usually women want to know a man's sexual history because she wants to she is doing the right thing or making a mistake, but still it's too personal of a question to ask someone right off the bat. Not to mention that I've been judged for it, so I am rather sensitive to the question.

[E-Squared]

I just don't understand the logic here, if it truly makes you nervous and concerned that you are a virgin, why even bring it up with a woman? Don't bring it up, let your actions talk not your words. Play along and it won't be a problem. After you have sex if you feel some sort of inclination to mention it feel free. As cliche as it sounds let your body do the talking

 

I usually try not to bring it up. However, there are times when a woman herself would just ask, and I don't like it when that happens. It's embarrassing.

[AVarma]

I usually try not to bring it up. However, there are times when a woman herself would just ask, and I don't like it when that happens. It's embarrassing.

 

What kind of women do you hang out with who ask you this type of question? I've never had a woman ask me before although I'm sure in private some of them suspect it. These women sound pretty trashy to be honest. The only people who have ever asked me about sex are other guys, one in particular who has a playboy reputation.

[E-Squared]

What kind of women do you hang out with who ask you this type of question? I've never had a woman ask me before although I'm sure in private some of them suspect it. These women sound pretty trashy to be honest. The only people who have ever asked me about sex are other guys, one in particular who has a playboy reputation.

 

Well, a female friend has asked me if I have had sex and I politely said "pass." Though later on, I almost got a little defensive with her when I should not have but I was angry because I am very sensitive when talking about sex because of my lack of experience. She said that I should not be ashamed of it because she told me how an ex-boyfriend of hers was a virgin before he met her, but I tried to tell her that the difference between him and myself is that I am a decade older than how old he was before he first had sex. She said that I should not let it bother me and how age is not a factor in sex. I then told her a story about the main factor in why I am so defensive in being asked if I am a virgin, and this is a good example of this also. Years ago, I remember I sort of talked to this girl I met at a festival and I was sort of shy when talking to her. We got each other's numbers during that time, but we didn't really talk. The subject of sex was brought up a month after and I got defensive with her. My friend told me that I was right in being defensive with her.

 

However, I remember an old female friend from many years ago was a little hypocritical in some areas. She would tell me that I would want my first time to be special, and then the next minute say that I was behind, and I was only 19 at the time. This was a long time ago, by the way.

 

However, I remember a long time ago, I talked to this girl I met off of POF. We got to the point of talking on the phone. I don't know what vibes I gave to her, but then came the point when she asked "May I ask you a personal a question?' and then you know the rest. I felt uncomfortable giving her that information, but I didn't know what to do at that moment, so I was honest with her.

 

I really don't like being asked that question, and I don't know what is the best way to avoid that question.

[AVarma]

Well, a female friend has asked me if I have had sex and I politely said "pass." Though later on, I almost got a little defensive with her when I should not have but I was angry because I am very sensitive when talking about sex because of my lack of experience. She said that I should not be ashamed of it because she told me how an ex-boyfriend of hers was a virgin before he met her, but I tried to tell her that the difference between him and myself is that I am a decade older than how old he was before he first had sex. She said that I should not let it bother me and how age is not a factor in sex. I then told her a story about the main factor in why I am so defensive in being asked if I am a virgin, and this is a good example of this also. Years ago, I remember I sort of talked to this girl I met at a festival and I was sort of shy when talking to her. We got each other's numbers during that time, but we didn't really talk. The subject of sex was brought up a month after and I got defensive with her. My friend told me that I was right in being defensive with her.

 

However, I remember an old female friend from many years ago was a little hypocritical in some areas. She would tell me that I would want my first time to be special, and then the next minute say that I was behind, and I was only 19 at the time. This was a long time ago, by the way.

 

However, I remember a long time ago, I talked to this girl I met off of POF. We got to the point of talking on the phone. I don't know what vibes I gave to her, but then came the point when she asked "May I ask you a personal a question?' and then you know the rest. I felt uncomfortable giving her that information, but I didn't know what to do at that moment, so I was honest with her.

 

I really don't like being asked that question, and I don't know what is the best way to avoid that question.

 

What's the matter with you? The difference between you and me is that I tell my sob stories online while anonymous, you're telling them in public! When she asked you if you were a virgin rather than saying "pass" you should've said something like "Why not I take you to the bedroom and you can tell me afterward if you still think I was a virgin". Honestly with my wittiness I'm surprised I'm sometimes a virgin.

[AVarma]

Honestly with my wittiness I'm surprised I'm sometimes a virgin.

 

I meant to say I'm surprised sometimes that I'm still a virgin.

[BeholdtheMan]

Insecurity. I actually asked this question and was surprised how many women said not to say anything. I guess a lot of virgin men want validation and feel that somehow telling a woman that he is a virgin will make their relationship closer somehow.

 

The harsh reality as that being a male virgin at 28 is a sign of low sex appeal to most women. If you're a moderately to highly sexually attractive male, the chances of retaining your virginity until the age of 28 are very, very low.

 

Unless you're that really hot guy with a bunch of women drooling over him but a virgin because of religious reasons or intense family values, admitting your virginity would definitely be a negative

 

Chances are...you're not that guy. You'r probably an average-looking to below average-looking guy who's somewhat awkward around women. If you get a women into your bedroom, don't volunteer the information. I'd even recommend making up a figure for the number of women you've slept with (keep it realistic) if the woman presses you for information about your past experience

[E-Squared]

What's the matter with you? The difference between you and me is that I tell my sob stories online while anonymous, you're telling them in public! When she asked you if you were a virgin rather than saying "pass" you should've said something like "Why not I take you to the bedroom and you can tell me afterward if you still think I was a virgin". Honestly with my wittiness I'm surprised I'm sometimes a virgin.

 

First off, that girl was a female friend who I mostly have a platonic relationship with. Second of all, this was through a messenger when we were talking about this, not to mention she was with someone at the time.

 

Also, those other examples happened way before that conversation I had with my friend. If it was someone else, maybe I will use that comeback.

[SomeDude16]

Well, a female friend has asked me if I have had sex and I politely said "pass." Though later on, I almost got a little defensive with her when I should not have but I was angry because I am very sensitive when talking about sex because of my lack of experience. She said that I should not be ashamed of it because she told me how an ex-boyfriend of hers was a virgin before he met her, but I tried to tell her that the difference between him and myself is that I am a decade older than how old he was before he first had sex. She said that I should not let it bother me and how age is not a factor in sex. I then told her a story about the main factor in why I am so defensive in being asked if I am a virgin, and this is a good example of this also. Years ago, I remember I sort of talked to this girl I met at a festival and I was sort of shy when talking to her. We got each other's numbers during that time, but we didn't really talk. The subject of sex was brought up a month after and I got defensive with her. My friend told me that I was right in being defensive with her.

 

However, I remember an old female friend from many years ago was a little hypocritical in some areas. She would tell me that I would want my first time to be special, and then the next minute say that I was behind, and I was only 19 at the time. This was a long time ago, by the way.

 

However, I remember a long time ago, I talked to this girl I met off of POF. We got to the point of talking on the phone. I don't know what vibes I gave to her, but then came the point when she asked "May I ask you a personal a question?' and then you know the rest. I felt uncomfortable giving her that information, but I didn't know what to do at that moment, so I was honest with her.

 

I really don't like being asked that question, and I don't know what is the best way to avoid that question.

 

 

First off i'dlike to thank you for elaborating and being willing to share. Your posts have made it evident that this is a sensitive subject to you, and you're talking the proper steps talking about it instead of internalizing it.

 

I now understand your predicament better. My advice would be to avoid initiating the subject. However when it does come up, just lie. Normally I would not encourage it but here is an exception. Just lie and say you're not a virgin. If you're asked for any numbers or anything just say you are not that experienced cause you only had one or two partners who you we're in a relationship with. That's it. You can breathe easy and the problem is solved.

[AVarma]

First off, that girl was a female friend who I mostly have a platonic relationship with. Second of all, this was through a messenger when we were talking about this, not to mention she was with someone at the time.

 

Also, those other examples happened way before that conversation I had with my friend. If it was someone else, maybe I will use that comeback.

 

How come you're still a virgin if you have so many female friends? Don't they try to set you up? I ask because I was pretty socially isolated when I was young. I'm trying to get out of my shell and have made some friends through whom I've had a few dates although unfortunately no kissing or sex yet.

[E-Squared]

First off i'dlike to thank you for elaborating and being willing to share. Your posts have made it evident that this is a sensitive subject to you, and you're talking the proper steps talking about it instead of internalizing it.

 

I now understand your predicament better. My advice would be to avoid initiating the subject. However when it does come up, just lie. Normally I would not encourage it but here is an exception. Just lie and say you're not a virgin. If you're asked for any numbers or anything just say you are not that experienced cause you only had one or two partners who you we're in a relationship with. That's it. You can breathe easy and the problem is solved.

 

And then I should tell her the truth right after?

[E-Squared]

How come you're still a virgin if you have so many female friends? Don't they try to set you up? I ask because I was pretty socially isolated when I was young. I'm trying to get out of my shell and have made some friends through whom I've had a few dates although unfortunately no kissing or sex yet.

 

I wouldn't say that I have "so many" female friends, and regarding the one who I mentioned, most of her friends are engaged or married, and when we were younger, I never really gave it much thought why they never tried setting me up. Plus, her friends were already spoken for, or at least her closest ones were.

 

As for that other girl who I mentioned, that was back in 2006 when that happened. I have not seen her since then.

[SomeDude16]

And then I should tell her the truth right after?

 

That's a question of your morals boss, if you feel inclined to after sex then go for it. When I say after I don't mean while still laying in bed with her, I mean a date or two after. I honestly doubt you will want to though, afterwards you will be looking back laughing about all this.

[E-Squared]

One other thing, Avarma. I will admit that I sort of came close earlier this year when I was talking this girl. We even bordered on dating, but then she had to call everything off. First have us be friends because she wasn't ready to date, then later on, she cut me off completely. It even seems like every time I talk to a girl or bordering on date the girl, they fizzle out before they put out.

[AVarma]

One other thing, Avarma. I will admit that I sort of came close earlier this year when I was talking this girl. We even bordered on dating, but then she had to call everything off. First have us be friends because she wasn't ready to date, then later on, she cut me off completely. It even seems like every time I talk to a girl or bordering on date the girl, they fizzle out before they put out.

 

Are you sure you aren't coming off like a creep? This is happened to me before and usually because I got too attached too quickly.

[E-Squared]

Are you sure you aren't coming off like a creep? This is happened to me before and usually because I got too attached too quickly.

 

With the girl who I mentioned, I'll never really know what the deal was. We actually talked two nights before she actually told me that she didn't want to talk to me anymore, but there may have been some stuff that might have been a factor in that which I won't discuss.

 

However, I don't think I come off as creepy. Usually when someone does that, I can say that it implies neediness. I don't think I'm needy, by the way. I am usually nonchalant. I have a feeling that this girl who I was talking to recently probably lost interest and I texted her with no reply, and it had been a bit since I've last texted her. Now I'm just like "Whatever, man."