Mark1 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 So I drive into Starbucks to get coffee for my office, and as I'm finding a place to park, a cougar walking into Starbucks starts looking me up and down. The third time she looks she smiles and waves. So I go into Starbucks and go over to where she is sitting to say hello. Blah blah saw you looking at me so I thought I'd say hi blah. Oh you're so sweet blah blah but I'm married with three kids. Wtf? why is she eye ****ing me then? Unless she was actually glaring at me lulz. Did I mess up? Should I have given her my number anyways? Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 She's married. With 3 kids. What part of that was an invitation for you to leave her your number? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mark1 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 She's married. With 3 kids. What part of that was an invitation for you to leave her your number? I'm not responsible for other people's marriage. That said, I mainly want to know if I was in the wrong for approaching her after she looked at me. Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 (edited) I'm not responsible for other people's marriage. That said, I mainly want to know if I was in the wrong for approaching her after she looked at me. You're right. She's responsible for her marriage. She told you straight up she's married with 3 kids. Which is a polite way to decline your advances. You took a swing and it wasn't what you thought it was. Why dwell on it? Just move on. Edited November 7, 2014 by J21 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeNomad Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 i think she was telling you that so that if you were cool with her being married you all could become "good friends" having 3 kids has nothing to do with anything, if she wasn't interested she would've just said she was married and omitted the 3 kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren2013 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 I wouldn't have walked up to her just because she was looking at me. Okay so she looked at you and smiled. Doesn't mean anything. That's an ambiguous signal that alot of guys misread. I would have been embarrassed to learn that I misread her signals. The truth is married people can always find other people good looking but it doesn't mean they are interested in going out with them let alone ending their marriage. Women are usually better at reading signals than men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
slizl Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 i think she was telling you that so that if you were cool with her being married you all could become "good friends" having 3 kids has nothing to do with anything, if she wasn't interested she would've just said she was married and omitted the 3 kids. My ex wife used to say that guys would still hit on her when she said that she was married, so she started saying she was married with two kids. For some reason, when she said the kids part, the guys would stop immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Technically, I don't think you were wrong in approaching a woman that smiled at you BUT that doesn't mean you always get it right or get what you want. As for your comment about not being responsible for someone else's marriage, you sound like a class-act. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mark1 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 Technically, I don't think you were wrong in approaching a woman that smiled at you BUT that doesn't mean you always get it right or get what you want. oh I don't think she was in the wrong for turning me down, just wondering why a woman who isn't available would show signals like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 oh I don't think she was in the wrong for turning me down, just wondering why a woman who isn't available would show signals like that. Because sometimes we old fogies miss the dance and sometimes it's just fun and good for the soul to know that we still got it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 She's an attention whore....just wanted to see if she still had it....married with 3 kids?....ya I can see why she needed an ego boost. Married men do the looking up and down, flirt, stare thing to women, so why wouldn't a married woman do it? One time I was in a store and this guy was smiling at me, always seemed to be in the same aisle with me, did the sexy stare, etc. This went on for about 20 mins. Then when I was passing by the baby aisle, there he was pulling down a big box of diapers off the shelf. He saw me, and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights lol. What a jerk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mark1 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 Because sometimes we old fogies miss the dance and sometimes it's just fun and good for the soul to know that we still got it makes sense. i really just want to know if I was in the wrong approaching her. kinda left w egg on my face. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 makes sense. i really just want to know if I was in the wrong approaching her. kinda left w egg on my face. It's no different than approaching a girl your own age in a bar. Like J21 already said, you took a swing and you missed. So what? Life goes on and the world continues to spin. This can't be the first time that you've been rejected, is it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mark1 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 It's no different than approaching a girl your own age in a bar. Like J21 already said, you took a swing and you missed. So what? Life goes on and the world continues to spin. This can't be the first time that you've been rejected, is it? Not at all, but I still think about when I could have done differently every time it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Not at all, but I still think about when I could have done differently every time it happens. Every time you're rejected by ANY woman or rehashing why you were rejected by THIS woman? Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Chill out!!! Take it as a compliment. Just because someone is married or with someone doesn't mean that he or she is: A. Not allowed to give a compliment (her look, smile and wave were such). B. About to act on it. It's just a compliment fella! Lap it up! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Both of you were right. She gave you a compliment . . . ogling you like that. You read the signals right for what they were & had the courage to chat her up. Good for you! Do you know how many men would have gotten in their car & driven to another coffee place? When you took the brave step of trying to move further, she immediately drew a boundary & preserved her marriage by making it very clear to you that only visuals were on the menu. Pat yourself on the back for being a stud & move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren2013 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I don't think that a woman smiling and waving on its own warrants approaching her. I would not approach for that reason alone just because a look or smile can mean so many different things. It isn't really that strong of a clue that she likes a guy enough to want him to approach. And I may not be responsible for other people's marriage but I do have a moral responsibility to view her as off limits once I learn that she is married with or without mentioning the kids part. Besides if a married woman was encouraging me to ask her out on the side I would have to stop and think why would she do that? If she is willing to even open that door for a possibility of an affair then how much integrity does she have and what are the chances she will cheat on me if we ever got serious? So yes it does become my problem if a married woman is willing to take it further than friendly chat. If her marriage is in trouble then it will fall apart in its own time but I don't want her thinking about me when she makes her decision to divorce. I want to be left out of the equation completely. I don't get why a woman saying she has a boyfriend or is married is not enough of an incentive for some guys to be discouraged from pursuing further. It is for me. I would also be putting my life on the line. If her husband caught us there's a chance he may lose it and shoot us all. That kind of stuff happens all the time. Men are willing to risk getting killed just to be with a married woman. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 (edited) I wouldn't have walked up to her just because she was looking at me. Okay so she looked at you and smiled. Doesn't mean anything. That's an ambiguous signal that alot of guys misread. I would have been embarrassed to learn that I misread her signals. The truth is married people can always find other people good looking but it doesn't mean they are interested in going out with them let alone ending their marriage. Women are usually better at reading signals than men. AND... I would have to disagree. What more could she have DONE to try to get his attention? Take her shirt off? Agreed.....actually, there is nothing TO misread. A man has the option to approach anyways, regardless. You don't need permission. I mean he did what he did, found out she was married, so you move on plain and simple. If you'd like to start an extra-marital affair with this woman, then post a completely new topic about somewhere else. lol I think what she did was ignorant and inappropriate. What the hell did she EXPECT would happen if she's going to blatantly eyeball a guy then wave to him? If she's married with 3 kids and giving you the eye and waving at you - then she plays the coy card when you approach her - it makes her look like an idiot. I think there are some married women out there that kind of get off on flirting for the fun of it, *Shrug* who knows. Some do it BECAUSE they are married. Funny, UNattached women will put walls up in public, but I've noticed married women have no qualms with flirting because they know NOTHING will become of it. Perhaps it was just an impulse. WHo knows what's going on in her head. Edited November 9, 2014 by irc333 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I think it was a reasonable assumption that you could approach her since she smiled and waved. But unfortunately, this is a horny woman who isn't going to follow through on a threat, so once she told you she's married ,you have to blow her off and assume she acted inappropriately for whatever reason and sent the wrong signal. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 @OP..... Could it be what you were wearing You reminded her of someone else Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 Dont worry OP, you will get another chance to make your move when you stumble across her Tinder account containing numerous pics of her 'married with three kids' ass wearing slutty fancy dress and posing for selfies in the bathroom mirror. I think people are also giving her a real easy ride on here, a look and a smile has a certain plausible deniability to it, but a wave thrown in? Shes trolling for likes and it cant really be taken as a compliment because she allowed no opportunity to express any interest, she could be doing the same thing to 10/20/30 guys a day- doesnt matter who so long as they openly declare their interest, she rejects them and takes the validation. Job done. I would expect a woman who is so confident in her marriage and her kids to be much more mature and secure in herself, personally. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 I hate it when women stare. And do nothing else. I just feel weird. A lot of young girls seem to do this, lock eyes....not much else. I guess I am just supposed to work off that?????? Most of them I can see they are forcing themselves to maintain eye contact, some of them I dunno. But, I mean...eye locking contest? WTF?? It just makes me feel awkward. OP, her waving at you was over the top sign to go up to her. Unless she was driving , saw you and knew nothing would come of it and she was just having fun, but if you could just walk up to her, I'd think she was pretty much setting you up. Just staring, always open to interpretation. Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 I guess she wanted to see whether you were cool or not with the fact she was married. She wanted a special new friend. Or she was acrazy bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
Anderlie Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 So nobody here is going to posit that the woman smiled and waved because there was significant eye contact from both sides? Maybe she realized she got caught having a bit of meaningless lookie Lou fun and brazened it out with a little gesture to acknowledge. Doesn't mean she was trying to start an affair or is a hussy. Heck, I've done that myself when I got caught mindlessly staring into the car next to me in traffic. Link to post Share on other sites
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