being awkward and passive

[amkxoxo]

So sometimes I struggle to talk to certain people. I struggle talking to people when my m ok is around. I have had struggled being a part of a team. I have done a lot of thinking about why I am the way that I am. I'm a nice girl. I'm 22. I try and stay fit and I'm always described as a sweet person. I have a lot of empathy and compassion. I often down play myself. I always think other people are smarter than me, prettier than me, just better than me. I don't see that I am great or I always feel like people don't notice me. I'm underappreciated and overlooked. When I am around people who I view as dominant or very extroverted I tend to crawl in my introverted shell. They are dominant and I am passive. I take on that role automatically. I've struggled being on sports teams because of this

 

Then when my mom or parents are around I am so passive. I think I take th r judgement of my family to heart to much that when I am in front of others with them I get shy. I am open and fun and bubbly with just my parents and I. But throw other people in there and I tense up. Like the other day I was with a guy f friend of mine and my mom. It was so awkward. I was awkward. This such guy friend I look at as cooler than me. Also there have been many times where I will say something out loud or describe what I said to my mom and she criticizes what I said to someone else. Then when I am with that person again I am shy and awkward and careful of what I say. At family parties I am awkward because my mom is there. She is my best friend though and we love being together. My mom has a great bubbly personality too and often takes over and takes the dominant role. Like I went to the hair dressers with my mom. She sat and watched the lady cut my hair. She talked to the lady the whole time. Then when there was time for me to talk I was awkward and shy.

 

My mom was the kind of mom when I was younger and we would do crafts, which I was bad at, she would pretty much take over my craft because she wanted it to look nice and it wasn't the way I was doing it.

 

She says she isn't but when you go to do a task and you don't do it like her, she will either say something like she is helping you or you can see the look of disgusting her face that you aren't doing it a good way according to her. You hAve to understand my mom is a wonderful person. Very friendly and she loves to help people. She has a lot of friends. I love her.

 

Sometimes she doesn't take no for an answer. Like the other day I was moving some stuff out of my old apartment and my roommate was there. My mom was asking me what I wanted to do first or what I thought we should do first. I got all flustered and kept saying I don't know because she usually takes control and I taken a back seat, or sometimes even when I say what we should do she wants to do it her way.

 

Some people I am comfortable with immediately. Like I don't need to impress them and we talk and talk and talk. Some people I can't look in the face. They intimidate me. But it's all his I perceive it I think. I sometimes question if I am the way I am because of my mom. She and I share everything and talk all the time. Best friends. But maybe her being the way she is growing up made me into the person I am. I feel like I try and be what other people expect or want. I can sense what they like and I try and be that. I have my own morals and values and am strong in those. I like to make others happy too. My mom sometimes criticises my awkward temperament with others. I don't know what to think. The people I am myself with and open and honest and carefree with like me a lot. I feel like I hold myself back with men as well because I perceive some as more superior to me who isn't as important.

[StalwartMind]

I feel like I try and be what other people expect or want.

 

This is most certainly one of the main problems way too many people struggle with. In fact a lot of people act accordingly to what is expected of you, rather than actually follow their own heart and mind. While I don't think you are anyway near being lost to socially accepted standards and expectations, you most certainly are being pushed away from the path that is your own.

 

I more than understand the type of person your mother is and the best way to put it is that, sometimes people's best intentions towards others, in their actions or words, can be of great detriment to the targeted person. What needs to happen, and this of course is going to be the main challenge for you, is to make the people around you, understand how their actions, no matter the great intentions, actually ends up hampering you.

 

No one should really go to any length or out of their way to impress others, generally those type of relationships/situations have the same negative end result. If a person can't be impressed by your normal self, then that person shouldn't be worth your time, as someone else will more than appreciate and love what you are.

 

I will repeat this until I'm no longer on this planet, people whom have an open mind and are able to look at things from all angles, will be more understandable and easy to communicate with/be around. In regards to men and people in general, I'd strongly advise you to not think of anyone being superior to you, it's funny I've never thought that about anyone, nor do i see or think myself superior to anyone else.

 

The right people will always notice you and appreciate you, unfortunately more often than not, we're not always around the people that are the best for us, even if those around us can be extremely sweet in their own way.

 

Being an introvert/ambivert you shouldn't feel bad for silence or think things are awkward, yeah sure they might be to some extroverted people, however typically most of them are too busy thinking about themselves, granted that it can be annoying to be "told" you are quiet, as if one isn't aware of that. Really if people only spend a bit more time trying to understand each other and actually tell themselves, that hey, not everyone is like me, i think a lot more people would feel more comfortable.

 

Take heart in how you feel and know that there are plenty of people out there whom more than understand your situation and eventually you'll run into more of them