My girlfriend talks about sex with her guy friends. Should I be okay with this?

[TwistedAndDark]

We were chatting on text, she vanishes for over an hour and comes back and says she was on a conference call with two of her guy friends. Now one of these friends is her ex-boyfriend. I've never created an issue about she being best friends with him, except once when she cheek kissed him and told me. The other is the cheapest, most ridiculous guy I've ever met. A complete pervert. Again, never told her to stay away from him because they're both her best friends.

She said they had a very funny conversation and was excited by it. They talked about sex, masturbation, how much time they take to get turned on, condoms etc. Now I know for a fact that she was just joking around, but it still bothers me. And when I confronted her, she said its not weird at all, Im making an issue out of nothing, but that she'll stop doing it. We've been having other problems too like she not giving me time. Im thinking she doesnt really love me anymore. We've been dating for 10 months. Thinking of breaking up after this. Am I being jealous or unreasonable? She was only joking around?

[veggirl]

I think that's totally inappropriate and immature of her. How old is she?

[Emerald_11]

You have every right to be upset. You have been very lenient with her and understanding about her having an ex as a friend. If she is telling you how exciting talking about sex with her ex is and thinks you should be ok with it that is strange! Could she be trying to make you jealous to test your reaction? If she doesn't spend a lot of time with you and seems more interested in other "friends" maybe it could be time for you to find someone who would love to give you all their time and doesn't talk about sex with their ex instead of hang out with you.

[Poppyolive]

Only you know deep down what is right and what is best for you.

 

Here's my thoughts...she's over stepped a boundary you have. If you wish to continue dating her, you need to make this boundary very very clear. If she crosses it again then you need to be prepared to leave.

 

This to me is a red flag. Chatting sexy stuffs with ex boyfriend is her flirting, ego boost and disrespectful to you and your relationship. Maybe she told you to feel good about herself and make you jealous? Have you seen other behaviours like this before?

 

You can decide whether this is enough to walk away now. Cut ties & move on or have a serious, respectful chat about how you feel, what you expect etc. Take note and see if there is changes for the better.

[TwistedAndDark]

Thanks for replying, people. She's 20 and Im 22.

[TwistedAndDark]

I have seen similar behavior before. For some reason, she always has a very close guy friend wherever she goes. New class, new internship, wherever! She was flirting with other guys, just friendly flirting, before I told her it bothers me after which she stopped. Or just stopped telling me about it I dont know.

 

The reason Im not sure is...she wasn't really chatting sexy stuff. They were talking in general about sex and masturbation and stuff. Also, she dated this guy for not more than 6 months.

 

But its still reason enough for me to walk away, isnt it? I mean even if she doesnt mean anything saying this stuff to those guys, I do know that they're creeps. At least the other guy is. He's a grade-A pervert.

Another thing that really bothers me is that she refuses to admit that what she did was inappropriate. She kept saying, I dont find it weird but if you do, Ill stop. I asked her if she would be okay if I talked about masurbation with a girl friend, she said go ahead.

[Keke1]

I have seen similar behavior before. For some reason, she always has a very close guy friend wherever she goes. New class, new internship, wherever! She was flirting with other guys, just friendly flirting, before I told her it bothers me after which she stopped. Or just stopped telling me about it I dont know.

 

The reason Im not sure is...she wasn't really chatting sexy stuff. They were talking in general about sex and masturbation and stuff. Also, she dated this guy for not more than 6 months.

 

But its still reason enough for me to walk away, isnt it? I mean even if she doesnt mean anything saying this stuff to those guys, I do know that they're creeps. At least the other guy is. He's a grade-A pervert.

Another thing that really bothers me is that she refuses to admit that what she did was inappropriate. She kept saying, I dont find it weird but if you do, Ill stop. I asked her if she would be okay if I talked about masurbation with a girl friend, she said go ahead.

 

Different wavelengths. Leave man. I personally don't want the drama of exs I don't date women that still cling on. Just isn't worth it. This from personal and examples I've heard/read

[veggirl]

20 yr old girl who has a new guy everywhere she goes and talks about sex and masturbation with exes/other guys. Yes, bail. She's looking for attention and using sex to get it. I wonder how long she's actually ever been single. Of course she means something by talking about this sh*t with guys. She likes the attention.

[Friskyone4u]

No way her interactions with other guys are not appropriate if you two are inns so called exclusive relationship. And the crap about having a man with her wherever she goes is nonsense.

You can count on something happening with one of these guys or their friends at some point.

You need to figure out why she finds this necessary

[lolablue17]

I dont think there's something wrong with it. my objective view.

Because she wasn't hiding anything. I think the problems began when people start hiding things.

 

But my view doesn't count because it bothers YOU.

Try to figure out with yourself what really bothers you.

And ask her to stop doing that.

 

You can't expect her to think in advanced like you. If she's willing to limit herself for you, what else do you need?

[Darren Steez]

You're being immature, you're being irrational, you keep doing this you'll drive her away, cool alpha guys don't have a problem with this..should I go on?

 

At one time all the above would have gone through my head as rationalizations to stay and STFU. Now, she'd be gone in an instant because as you've found out the drama escalates, you start worrying about where she is and who's she's talking to and what she's talking about.

 

Unless it's your standard that it's ok when you're with your girlfriend to talk to other girls about sex and masturbation and kissing them on the cheek then cool it's ok for her but if you're not cool with it then you should expect the same standard from your girlfriend, otherwise it creates problems.

 

Talk to her about it. Tell her you're not comfortable with it and it's something you won't stand for. She umms and ahhs or gives you a bunch of excuses or straight up says no, then tell her see you later...at least you gave her a chance. Walk away with your head held high.

[Arieswoman]

Twisted and dark

 

My girlfriend talks about sex with her guy friends. Should I be okay with this?

 

No, it's inappropriate. Kick her to the curb and find yourself a girl who acts like a lady not the town bike.

[smackie9]

Well as the saying goes you are the company you keep. I would find another GF.

[Maleficent]

We were chatting on text, she vanishes for over an hour and comes back and says she was on a conference call with two of her guy friends. Now one of these friends is her ex-boyfriend. I've never created an issue about she being best friends with him, except once when she cheek kissed him and told me. The other is the cheapest, most ridiculous guy I've ever met. A complete pervert. Again, never told her to stay away from him because they're both her best friends.

She said they had a very funny conversation and was excited by it. They talked about sex, masturbation, how much time they take to get turned on, condoms etc. Now I know for a fact that she was just joking around, but it still bothers me. And when I confronted her, she said its not weird at all, Im making an issue out of nothing, but that she'll stop doing it. We've been having other problems too like she not giving me time. Im thinking she doesnt really love me anymore. We've been dating for 10 months. Thinking of breaking up after this. Am I being jealous or unreasonable? She was only joking around?

 

Well it is possible she has this platonic friendship with men. However, it is not unreasonable for you to be uncomfortable with this. But she did agree to stop doing it.

 

What more do you want though? If you have other issues, bring it up - this is how relationships work and not enough people actually do it.

[Clockwork]

Thanks for replying, people. She's 20 and Im 22.

 

Would she want you talking to some girls that are friends about your sex life? Probably not. This is real life, not the bimbo Kardashians.

[OldMaidJuliet]

Maybe it's a generational thing, but a fair amount of people around my age, and from what I've noticed, a fair amount of younger people, also- around your age- tend to be pretty open about sex in their discussions with friends of both genders, and sometimes, people they don't even know well, depending on the circumstances. I'm a pretty open person, and I also discuss the same things with male friends as female friends because I see them as the same- my friends. To me, sex is something to discuss with friends. If she was aroused, maybe it's just because she's thinking about sex, and not because she's into these guys. Still, it does seem rude to me that she stopped talking to you in the middle of texting for an hour to have this conversation. You said you told her you were uncomfortable, though, and she said she wouldn't do it again, right? If you trust her not to, I think you should give her a pass unless she's doing other things to worry you.

[Diezel]

Just tell her that you got off of the phone with two of your female friends and had the EXACT same conversation and that you are excited about it.

[todreaminblue]

I have seen similar behavior before. For some reason, she always has a very close guy friend wherever she goes. New class, new internship, wherever! She was flirting with other guys, just friendly flirting, before I told her it bothers me after which she stopped. Or just stopped telling me about it I dont know.

 

The reason Im not sure is...she wasn't really chatting sexy stuff. They were talking in general about sex and masturbation and stuff. Also, she dated this guy for not more than 6 months.

 

But its still reason enough for me to walk away, isnt it? I mean even if she doesnt mean anything saying this stuff to those guys, I do know that they're creeps. At least the other guy is. He's a grade-A pervert.

Another thing that really bothers me is that she refuses to admit that what she did was inappropriate. She kept saying, I dont find it weird but if you do, Ill stop. I asked her if she would be okay if I talked about masurbation with a girl friend, she said go ahead.

 

 

the fact that you said she was excited about it is a concern and turns it from just chat to something else...im not with anyone and if guys start talking abotu maturbation ....i woudl want to stick around....i dotn need penis images in my head even if they are friends...and funnily enough....they dont talk masturbation around me...its rather off putting to think about my friends masturbating...i do think its a concern and you need to place some firm boundaries i think........cheating always starts somewhere.............deb