Breaks

[Scarlet2]

I was just curious as to OWs personal experience with breaks in the affair initiated by the MM, where he specifically said he needed a break.

 

How many breaks has your MM initiated?

 

How long did each break last?

 

What did you do during the break(s)?

- Did you go NC?

- Did you wait for him to end the break first?

- - How did he restart the affair?

 

Did he give you a reason for the break(s)?

- Was he feeling guilty?

- Was his wife getting suspicious?

- Was it too much for him to juggle?

 

What else can you share about your break(s):

[sagamore]

 

How many break-ups have you initiated?

 

What did you do after the break-ups to get over MM?

- Did you go NC?

- Did you reconnect with old friends or start new hobbies?

- How did you keep from re-starting the affair?

 

If he gave you a reason for the break-up on his side, did you

- Not give a sh*t?

- Thank god you're not married to him?

- Block his sorry ass from phone and email?

 

 

I fixed your questions for you, Scarlet.

[Hope Shimmers]

I fixed your questions for you, Scarlet.

 

Cute. But her questions are just as valid as anyone else's thread here. No need to put words in the mouth of the person who posted the thread, for crying out loud.

 

Scarlet, we had lots of breaks, but we didn't call them that, so I'm not sure what to make of the use of that word. Is that the word he used?

 

In my case, what mostly happened (while I was still in the A and back and forth) was that we would argue/fight, "break up", then get over it, etc.

 

A "break" means something different to me which is why I asked if that was the terminology he used.

[Goodbye]

ExMM took 2 "breaks" during our R. I also took breaks, but I suspect for very different reasons.

 

 

Generally he'd say he needed a "break" which meant very low contact when he was "very stressed about his work situation." He'd give me a lot of negative self talk about being a loser and how he needed to "work on himself." I now recognize that these "breaks" were initiated by him because he was 1) overwhelmed juggling 2 women and keeping 2 women in the dark 2) scared of being caught by his W 3) feeling pressure by me to actually move forward.

 

 

It is clear now that he'd use this time to smooth things over on the home front. Spend more time with his W and child. Make everything look "normal" again...cool any suspicions that may have been coming.

 

 

During these breaks, usually a month or so of time, I'd slowly start to remember the other things I had going on in my life and I'd adjust again to life as a single mom and the BAM...exMM would reappear with more vigor than ever. More promises, more grandiose declarations of love.

 

 

I'm sure had I kept on with this it would have become a predictable cycle.