nickname Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 I have been in a relationship for almost a year and we are both in love. He is having to make a decision on wether to move back to Washington or stay here with me. We've talked about it a lot and he wants to stay together even if he moves. I have 4 years of college ahead of me and I don't think that I can go 4 years without being able to see him and be able to touch him. I love him soooo much, and I am willing to waite on him. Does anyone have any advice that may help me? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Can you switch schools? Can you move with him and work to support yourself and attend school part-time? Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 If you love him and he's worth the wait...Then damn it go ahead why not??? You never know till you try...once he moves (if thats his decision) see if it works out...remember the decision you make now in life will affect you in the future...If you need to finish school that should be your priority and if he needs to move for his own personal reason to improve his (maybe yours too) life then so be it...Love will overcome any situations that come your way... I have a friend who's been a LDR and let me tell you she has her moments I'm not going to lie but to her it's worth the wait and the love they have for each other is beautiful... So if you're up for the challenge go ahead...it might just work out!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author nickname Posted March 15, 2005 Author Share Posted March 15, 2005 I have a full scholarship to go to school so there is no way that I can give that up. I have told him many times that after my 4 years or after we both graduate I will be more than happy to move with him. He is having to chose between his friends or his family and me. I really don't see how that is a hard decision, especially when I have told him we can both move to Washington when we graduate. I know that commitment is a hard thing for him just because of his background and troubles that he has had in the past (not in relationships) but if he really loves me and wants to be with me as much as he says, shouldn't he stay and try to make it work, instead of leaving and putting us both through the long distance thing? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Ohhhhh now you're talking. So the question is not what you should do, as YOU originally put it, but what HE should do. And he would rather be with his friends and family for the next 4 years instead of you?! I hear your worries...So you're already on the second place. Are you sure he's worth waiting for 4 years if he decides to move? It's not like he has to. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Oh, oh, wait! You and his family on one side and his friends on the other side?!?! And you're talking about real love here? Read this question again and again until you understand what it means, please. What kind of background and troubles? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nickname Posted March 16, 2005 Author Share Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer What kind of background and troubles? He has had a really bad childhood and that really takes it's toll on decisions he makes. I can't really write everything but that is what I meant by background. It's really not as bad as it sounds. He lived in Washington for about 9 years and his very best friend still lives there. I think a lot of his decision is that he lives with his aunt and uncle here, and him and his uncle don't get along at all. It isn't an abuse deal or anything they just disagree on a lot of things. He doesn't feel that he can stay and be around his uncle. (eventhough it would only be for 2 months until he started school again) That is another thing that I am looking at. His aunt and uncle have told him if he stays then they will pay for his college education and get him a car and all that. How can he pass that up? He says he just wants a break from school and he'll go back later, but that will never happen if he doesn't go now. As much as I want this to be about me and him staying with me, it is also that his life would be much better and easier, and I want the best for him. I'm sure this is very confusing but I really don't feel like typing the whole story on here for everyone to read. If you have anything else that may help please tell me. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 What I am trying to convince myself and everyone else is that life can't be 100% perfect. Running away from problems is not always the right solution unless you can simply remove the problem and continue to live happily as you remove a cancer. Your boyfriend obviously has a general personality problem when it comes to dealing with problems. His uncle apparently loves him and treats him as his own child if he wants to pay for his college and buy him a car. Yet he doesn't appreciate it. Perhaps his uncle nags a lot because it breaks his heart to see him go down and get into more troubles. When you're born as a rebel, you always have a problem to find peace with everyone around you. There's a story...A polecat wanted to find a place to live and wherever it settled, it stank real bad. Finally it realized that it was its tail that stank, not the places. Your boyfriend wants to run away from the people who love him and not go to college, because it seems to him that it's more convenient for him at this moment. Once he moves on, he may discover that his new life isn't that perfect either. What will he do then? Move on and on and on? Life is full of moments when you think you can't go on and you gotta run..but you gotta stay and invest some effort to find peace. Unless physical or sexual abuse is involved, I don't see why he would reject his uncle's and aunt's love and care just like that. It's probably not that he doesn't love you all, it's just that he's choosing the line of least resistance. However, if he really wants to go, let him. If he can't get emotionally attached to those who love him then he should pick the lonely freedom he desires. After all, when we live with people we adjust to them and they adjust to us. Sometimes it's hard, but nobody was built at our desire nor were we built at theirs. By the way, if he chooses not to go to college and you are, then I don't think you would be a good couple in the future. You're thinking about tomorrow and he's thinking about yesterday. You will be an educated and perspective girl with a diploma in her hands. And what will he be? If he loves you, he should be able to keep up with you. Link to post Share on other sites
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