Guys Only: A lot of American men going overseas to find dates

[MattHanson1990]

These days, there is an epidemic of lonely frustrated single men in the United States who can't get dates, and no matter how hard they try, still no luck. The reality is that the US dating scene is dysfunctional, unnatural, and it's a nightmare for a lot of men. Many American women these days, especially the hot ones, are stuck up and unapproachable, and they only want the top 10 percent of men in terms of money, status, and looks. A lot of them also prefer bad boys instead of nice guys. Additionally, a lot of American women are unattractive; either they have tattoos, they cut their hair short, they have a poor fashion sense, or they're overweight/obese. And on top of all of this, single men outnumber single women in most of the US, especially the western states like California; the imbalanced ratio of single men to single women says a lot about why many guys are finding out that every girl they meet has a boyfriend.

 

There are cliches like "You'll find someone don't worry" and "The right one will come when you least expect it", which are absolute BS. And then there are the pick-up artist techniques which claim that if a guy says certain things to a girl or does things differently, he will start getting dates; but even the PUA won't get guys anywhere. So a lot of guys realize that the only real solution is to go abroad, particularly to poorer countries like Russia, Ukraine, Mexico, The Philippines, China, etc.

 

Have any of you on this forum had no luck in the US dating scene but it drastically changed when you went overseas?

[fortyninethousand322]

I highly doubt I'd have any better luck overseas than I do here...

[Mister Zen]

On the east coast single women outnumber single men.

 

But I do agree the American dating scene is toxic and dysfunctional and I eventually adopted a "can't beat 'em, join 'em" attitude. I use PUA tactics to shag women.

 

As far as finding something deep goes... I've mostly given up. I have come to terms that I will probably never be able to relate with women on a level where I can expect to have complete trust, love and loyalty. At least not today's women.

 

I am currently focusing more on local foreign women, as I enjoy dating them more.

[StanMusial]

These days, there is an epidemic of lonely frustrated single men in the United States who can't get dates, and no matter how hard they try, still no luck. The reality is that the US dating scene is dysfunctional, unnatural, and it's a nightmare for a lot of men. Many American women these days, especially the hot ones, are stuck up and unapproachable, and they only want the top 10 percent of men in terms of money, status, and looks. A lot of them also prefer bad boys instead of nice guys. Additionally, a lot of American women are unattractive; either they have tattoos, they cut their hair short, they have a poor fashion sense, or they're overweight/obese. And on top of all of this, single men outnumber single women in most of the US, especially the western states like California; the imbalanced ratio of single men to single women says a lot about why many guys are finding out that every girl they meet has a boyfriend.

 

There are cliches like "You'll find someone don't worry" and "The right one will come when you least expect it", which are absolute BS. And then there are the pick-up artist techniques which claim that if a guy says certain things to a girl or does things differently, he will start getting dates; but even the PUA won't get guys anywhere. So a lot of guys realize that the only real solution is to go abroad, particularly to poorer countries like Russia, Ukraine, Mexico, The Philippines, China, etc.

 

Have any of you on this forum had no luck in the US dating scene but it drastically changed when you went overseas?

 

I can't say I had no luck, but I do have a good friend who rarely had a date who married a girl from Mexico. She is a real sweetheart too. They've been married for several years now, have a couple kids. Lovely family. He didn't go there specifically to find a woman though.

 

I travel overseas sometimes... I have had women come up to me and outright ask "Are you married?" Or something like "We like white men". To be honest I find it strange... it would be tough for me personally to have a relationship with someone from a completely foreign culture and background.

[Lady2163]

These days, there is an epidemic of lonely frustrated single men in the United States who can't get dates, and no matter how hard they try, still no luck. The reality is that the US dating scene is dysfunctional, unnatural, and it's a nightmare for a lot of men. Many American women these days, especially the hot ones, are stuck up and unapproachable, and they only want the top 10 percent of men in terms of money, status, and looks. A lot of them also prefer bad boys instead of nice guys. Additionally, a lot of American women are unattractive; either they have tattoos, they cut their hair short, they have a poor fashion sense, or they're overweight/obese. And on top of all of this, single men outnumber single women in most of the US, especially the western states like California; the imbalanced ratio of single men to single women says a lot about why many guys are finding out that every girl they meet has a boyfriend.

 

There are cliches like "You'll find someone don't worry" and "The right one will come when you least expect it", which are absolute BS. And then there are the pick-up artist techniques which claim that if a guy says certain things to a girl or does things differently, he will start getting dates; but even the PUA won't get guys anywhere. So a lot of guys realize that the only real solution is to go abroad, particularly to poorer countries like Russia, Ukraine, Mexico, The Philippines, China, etc.

 

Have any of you on this forum had no luck in the US dating scene but it drastically changed when you went overseas?

 

OH. MY. GOD.

 

Short hair is a deal breaker when dating?

So even though, I'm educated, well-off, great personality, the complete package, I wouldn't be good enough to safe because I don't spend an hour a day drying and straightening my hair?

 

I'm thinking American men have to look overseas because they are the ahallow ones. Because yeah, that mail order bride thing always works out so well.

[Mister Zen]

OH. MY. GOD.

 

Short hair is a deal breaker when dating?

So even though, I'm educated, well-off, great personality, the complete package, I wouldn't be good enough to safe because I don't spend an hour a day drying and straightening my hair?

 

I'm thinking American men have to look overseas because they are the ahallow ones. Because yeah, that mail order bride thing always works out so well.

 

Short man a deal breaker when dating?

[thefooloftheyear]

OH. MY. GOD.

 

Short hair is a deal breaker when dating?

So even though, I'm educated, well-off, great personality, the complete package, I wouldn't be good enough to safe because I don't spend an hour a day drying and straightening my hair?

 

I'm thinking American men have to look overseas because they are the ahallow ones. Because yeah, that mail order bride thing always works out so well.

 

Relax....

 

People want what they want....women, too.....Heck, Id like to think I am a package too, but there are plenty of women that wont like the fact that I am only 5'6"....and unlike you I cant change it...Is that shallow, too?

 

Im fine with my height and dont care, btw..lets make that clear.....

 

Back on topic...

 

Im sorry to say that the only guys I know who went that route(overseas) were pretty low on the desirability totem pole..I dont get it...There are millions of women around...They arent hard to find...its not diamond mining over here...

 

Frankly, Id never want to be with a woman who decided to go with me, because it was a better option than eating cockroaches off the ground or being enslaved by a pimp at 12...and the cases of these women bolting when they realize it wasnt as great a deal as they hoped abound..

 

Just surprising to hear that a guy cant find a woman in this country ..*shrug*

 

TFY

[Lady2163]

Short man a deal breaker when dating?

 

Not a deal breaker. Would still date. PREFER men over 5'5.

[NJ123]

Short man a deal breaker when dating?

 

Don't think you want to get into this with some women on here. I did it a few days ago, and it didn't turn out so well lol.

[Lady2163]

Relax....

 

People want what they want....women, too.....Heck, Id like to think I am a package too, but there are plenty of women that wont like the fact that I am only 5'6"....and unlike you I cant change it...Is that shallow, too?

 

Im fine with my height and dont care, btw..lets make that clear.....

 

Back on topic...

 

Im sorry to say that the only guys I know who went that route(overseas) were pretty low on the desirability totem pole..I dont get it...There are millions of women around...They arent hard to find...its not diamond mining over here...

 

Frankly, Id never want to be with a woman who decided to go with me, because it was a better option than eating cockroaches off the ground or being enslaved by a pimp at 12...and the cases of these women bolting when they realize it wasnt as great a deal as they hoped abound..

 

Just surprising to hear that a guy cant find a woman in this country ..*shrug*

 

TFY

 

Not all women can grow their hair and achieve and attractive hairstyle. I tried. It's thick, heavy, couldn't get it to do anything....ANYTHING. Made my face look really pudgy and round. It was awful.

 

I was in the military before they closed the bases in the Philipoines. Touched based with a buddy who has been married to a Filiipina for 25 years. Blow jobs stopped on their wedding day. Sex stopped after the second child was born. He has brought over and sponsored 30 of her relatives in 25 years.

 

PS 5'6 is PERFECT! My height, right for kissing and snuggling and dancing.

[TigerLilly78]

especially the hot ones, are stuck up and unapproachable, and they only want the top 10 percent of men in terms of money, status, and looks.?

 

So you only want the "hot ones" and the rest are not good enough for a barrage of shallow reasons yet women are the stuck up and unapproachable ones cause they might also have the same standards is that right?...

[Woggle]

I won't make this about gender but America in general has become toxic and dysfunctional. The short time I spent in the Caribbean earlier this year sort of put things into perspective.

[StanMusial]

Touched based with a buddy who has been married to a Filiipina for 25 years. Blow jobs stopped on their wedding day. Sex stopped after the second child was born.

 

That probably never happens with American women thankfully. Plus they all get thinner after eating all that wedding cake.

[ltjg45]

In all honesty, I never did find short hair on a woman to be attractive and I also have seen far more women with shirt hair than those with long hair so it does seem that my dating pool is short to begin with.

 

Never mind that I don't date smokers or heavy drinkers and you can see why I am considering going overseas.

 

I could change myself to be a guy women wants but that is meaningless if I can't find a woman I actually want to date or be in a relationship with.

[carhill]

IME, having been a part of that community, I'd opine the amount of American men going overseas to find dates is relatively few compared to the total number of single men living in the US today. Further, for any I knew, it wasn't about 'dating', it was about finding a wife and life partner. Pretty serious stuff. Sure, some enjoyed being single and mingling and I trust that still exists, along with sex tourism but, still, in total, the numbers are relatively few.

 

The average guy isn't going to take weeks off work, possibly with income loss, spend at least a few grand, and use up his valuable time on the off-chance of meeting 'the one' or getting laid in some foreign country.

 

That's my .02 as a guy who's actually done it and nearly K1'd a lovely doctor from Odessa.

[veggirl]

Why shouldn't the hot women you talk about in your OP go for the hot 10% of men?

 

If dating here is really such a struggle for a guy, I see no problem with him fixing that by looking elsewhere. If a foreign woman strikes his fancy, go for it. If he is assuming all foreign women are somehow cut from the same cutter and will bow at his presence he'll probably be in for a wake up call, but that's got nothing to do with me or any other American woman.

 

Aren't there more women than men in the US? So how can there be so many more single guys? Are you one of those people who thinks women share the top 10% with each other? lol okay. Are you 24 like your username suggests? That would make sense, you are looking to date the hot college co-eds and sorry but if you aren't a hot college guy it's not gonna happen.

[insert_name]

OH. MY. GOD.

 

Short hair is a deal breaker when dating?

So even though, I'm educated, well-off, great personality, the complete package, I wouldn't be good enough to safe because I don't spend an hour a day drying and straightening my hair?

 

I'm thinking American men have to look overseas because they are the ahallow ones. Because yeah, that mail order bride thing always works out so well.

 

You say that, but, being honest here, would you date a guy shorter than you? Both sexes have integral deal breakers related to femininity/masculinity, thats just the way it goes. At least you have some control over the length of your hair, short guys seem to be the most heavily discriminated against group in the dating scene.

 

Edit: see this question has already been asked.

Edited November 10, 2014 by insert_name

[Lady2163]

You say that, but, being honest here, would you date a guy shorter than you? Both sexes have integral deal breakers related to femininity/masculinity, thats just the way it goes. At least you have some control over the length of your hair, short guys seem to be the most heavily discriminated against group in the dating scene.

 

Edit: see this question has already been asked.

 

Forget height. Let's stick with hair. I would date a bald man. I prefer hair, I prefer a military cut of some kind, not that fond of long hair on men....UNLESS they do actually take care of it.

[Tayken]

Exotic "women" have always been an allure for men the world over. I speak as someone that has lived on 4 continents and can speak on this based on my experience. I am also a typical point in case....I from across the pond, married a person from here of Mediterranean decent.

[taiko]

They are not going to "date". In form and function it is closer to an arranged marriage, however with no familiar problems if you back out and don't marry your informally betrothed.

[Frank2thepoint]

Additionally, a lot of American women are unattractive; either they have tattoos, they cut their hair short

 

But I don't mind short hair and tattoos on a woman. Short hair is nice because a woman's neck is exposed, great for kissing and easier to nibble on her ears during sexy time. Tattoos can accentuate a woman's mystery.

 

 

And on top of all of this, single men outnumber single women in most of the US, especially the western states like California

 

It's the opposite here on the East Coast, especially NYC. There are a lot more single women than men. But that's because many single women come from all over the country to become successful, and NYC offers that. As for the dating scene, well it is very toxic here. Many people consider each other disposable.

[MattHanson1990]

But I don't mind short hair and tattoos on a woman. Short hair is nice because a woman's neck is exposed, great for kissing and easier to nibble on her ears during sexy time. Tattoos can accentuate a woman's mystery.

 

 

 

 

It's the opposite here on the East Coast, especially NYC. There are a lot more single women than men. But that's because many single women come from all over the country to become successful, and NYC offers that. As for the dating scene, well it is very toxic here. Many people consider each other disposable.

 

 

Numbers are not everything as we speak. What really matters is the women we go after are down to earth and not stuck up. A very good place in the US for men to meet women is El Paso, Texas. Not only single women outnumber single men in that city, but more importantly, the women in El Paso are more down to earth compared to say the women living in coastal America.

 

 

El Paso is I think one of only a couple cities in the western US where single women outnumber single men.

[carhill]

I've done a lot of demographic research into where I'm moving to for business reasons and was surprised to see a markedly larger female population in some of the costal cities, in some places 100 women for every 92 men. Where I live it's exactly the reverse, generally because we're primarily agricultural here and that's traditionally a man's occupation.

 

That reality also brings up another caveat regarding men going overseas to find dates. Generally, it's unrealistic, if a rural guy like myself, to expect a woman from a large foreign city to look kindly upon moving to the sticks. Big city culture is totally different, regardless of country. As example, no way would I have expected a lady from Moscow to enjoy living in rural California. San Francisco, perhaps. Exceptions? Sure, but generally my advice to any man looking abroad is to be realistic. Stay within the general cultural and socio-economic standards of whom he would date locally. Following that advice worked well for myself when dating internationally, both in Eastern and Western Europe.

[Lady2163]

I've done a lot of demographic research into where I'm moving to for business reasons and was surprised to see a markedly larger female population in some of the costal cities, in some places 100 women for every 92 men. Where I live it's exactly the reverse, generally because we're primarily agricultural here and that's traditionally a man's occupation.

 

That reality also brings up another caveat regarding men going overseas to find dates. Generally, it's unrealistic, if a rural guy like myself, to expect a woman from a large foreign city to look kindly upon moving to the sticks. Big city culture is totally different, regardless of country. As example, no way would I have expected a lady from Moscow to enjoy living in rural California. San Francisco, perhaps. Exceptions? Sure, but generally my advice to any man looking abroad is to be realistic. Stay within the general cultural and socio-economic standards of whom he would date locally. Following that advice worked well for myself when dating internationally, both in Eastern and Western Europe.

 

Carhill - a lot of 3rd world women would think it paradise to live I'm rural America. I've just seen hinge drastically change once an anchor baby is born.

[carhill]

I can't speak to third world since I didn't date in those parts of the world, mainly FSU/CIS and parts of western Europe. The women I dated, generally, already had children. The one I nearly K1'd was a grandmother. TBH, few wanted to leave their countries of residence, so ex-patriating for myself was always on the table. I can live and work anywhere in the world so it isn't a big deal for myself.

 

Most of the 'anchor baby' anecdotes I've read or heard are from men who dated women from Mexico, central and south America and southeast Asia. We saw some of that back during the Vietnam war.