Guys Only: A lot of American men going overseas to find dates

[thefooloftheyear]

Before the Berlin Wall fell ... yes.

 

My country was rather famous [and eastern europe especially] for 'creating' wives.

They'd receive special training in how to please men and get men to like them ... get married to foreign business men and then send information back home.

 

 

 

There are also countries where you do not want to get married period.

One example is Italy; most women expect the guy to work and will lose respect in a major way if you can't bring home the bacon ... and a Divorce can take up to 5yrs ... if not more.

 

 

Thats funny...

 

Italian-American women are very similar to American Jewish women..The man has to be the heavy and they will lose respect and dump a guy if he isnt the type to carry the load..Especially the very attractive ones...You better be on your game..!....

 

TFY

[PinkInTheLimo]

I will say though, I wouldn't mind dating a French or British woman, I find their accents very alluring

 

If as an American man you are dating a French or a British or a Dutch or any other Western European woman, you are not dating someone who will marry a man to improve her social and financial situation. She most probably will have some education and a job, have a good knowledge of English and of the United States.

In that case you would be dating from another culture but not a culture that is significantly different than the American culture.

It is a different story when guy want at all cost marry an Eastern European woman, an definitely when they want to marry an African woman or an Asian one, who come straight from Africa or Asia. In those cases both partners rarely start from the same social and financial situation.

[edgygirl]

Hmm... I'm Jewish and I work. But yes we expect our men to be as ambitious as we are.

 

Can men stop working in other cultures and women won't care? Unheard of. So why picking on Jewish women specifically? People have this weird stereotype about us only because a lot of Jewish men are successful/hard workers. But it's a stereotype.

 

Thats funny...

 

Italian-American women are very similar to American Jewish women..The man has to be the heavy and they will lose respect and dump a guy if he isnt the type to carry the load..Especially the very attractive ones...You better be on your game..!....

 

TFY

Edited March 24, 2015 by edgygirl

[carhill]

Out of the group of men I got to know who actually dated internationally, not just talked about it, nearly all were credentialed professionals, mostly engineers and IT professionals with a smattering of finance and law guys thrown in. The ex-pats were generally in academia. Only a couple were like myself, blue collar guys, because, generally, such pursuits were beyond the budget and interest of blue collar guys except for those of us who owned businesses. IMO, any guy who's serious and spends the money and finds the time to date internationally is pretty ambitious just to get there. I probably spent close to three months in-country over a couple of years, usually a minimum of two weeks per trip. Each trip ran between 2 and 5K, depending on where and length of stay, and that at nearly 20 years ago prices. Comparatively, dating the ladies was easy and inexpensive. It was living there that took the time and money and ambition.

 

One thing RU's I met nearly universally despised were 'greedy' men, meaning cheap. That and guys who drank too much.

 

Ha, it just occurred to me that I only interacted with one American guy in person in all my trips and that was the first one when I arrived at Lviv and was going through the then gauntlet of customs and visa scrutiny and trying to remember who I was supposed to bribe. I can't recall meeting or interacting with another native English speaker in all my trips. Back then, 'a lot' would've been unbelievable to me. I felt like I was on another planet.

[loveweary11]

Hmm... I'm Jewish and I work. But yes we expect our men to be as ambitious as we are.

 

Can men stop working in other cultures and women won't care? Unheard of. So why picking on Jewish women specifically? People have this weird stereotype about us only because a lot of Jewish men are successful/hard workers. But it's a stereotype.

 

Absolutely on point.

 

Certainly this quality of wanting the man to work isn't a Jewish thing at all. I've been in relationships with Jewish girls (getting out of the relationship is the hard part... lol)

 

I really like your culture. Other people could learn a lot from it. The way you stick together and help each other out. Very powerful. Also, I learned a lot from a Jewish business associate years ago. I'm far more successful now financially thanks to him.

[thefooloftheyear]

Hmm... I'm Jewish and I work. But yes we expect our men to be as ambitious as we are.

 

Can men stop working in other cultures and women won't care? Unheard of. So why picking on Jewish women specifically? People have this weird stereotype about us only because a lot of Jewish men are successful/hard workers. But it's a stereotype.

 

Yes....I know of several guys that do virtually nothing, and their wives basically carry them.....So now you have heard it......And its not like they "do nothing", just that they arent the types that are going to kill themselves to conquer the world...They have mundane careers, make mundane money, etc..And it works well for them...They seem ok with it..

 

Doesnt work in my culture...Nor yours...Most Italian guys I know are pretty successful...We all run companies, hold higher positions in companies and have positions of power..Most Italian women will reject guys that cant earn a good living or carry the load..

 

I have absolutely no clue why you would take offense or feel you are being picked on......Its actually a pretty good thing...Its what builds character in people .I have no issue with it, and I am a man!

 

TFY

Edited March 24, 2015 by thefooloftheyear

[Radu]

One thing RU's I met nearly universally despised were 'greedy' men, meaning cheap.

Yeah ... it's pretty much i gave up on going dutch unless in a relationship.

 

It's not fair ... but insisting on it or mentioning it will mean that your attractiveness will drop in their eyes.

 

It's better to go with cheaper dates.

That and guys who drank too much.

 

Ha, it just occurred to me that I only interacted with one American guy in person in all my trips and that was the first one when I arrived at Lviv and was going through the then gauntlet of customs and visa scrutiny and trying to remember who I was supposed to bribe. I can't recall meeting or interacting with another native English speaker in all my trips. Back then, 'a lot' would've been unbelievable to me. I felt like I was on another planet.

That's a big thing in my country and i only realised it when i went rural.

 

Ppl talk and i love to listen to them do it ... and one thing that shocked me was that they were all judging men who drank [because that's not a true man ... he should spend the $ on other stuff and that matters in a poor country] and that women who drank [we are talking married ones] ... were considered always the bottom of the barrel.

Honestly ... the concept of girls night out where you can get slightly drunk is unheard of.

[carhill]

Yeah ... it's pretty much i gave up on going dutch unless in a relationship.

 

It's not fair ... but insisting on it or mentioning it will mean that your attractiveness will drop in their eyes.

 

It's better to go with cheaper dates.

 

That's a big thing in my country and i only realised it when i went rural.

 

I recall suggesting to the lady I was dating in Odessa to take her 'out' to the McDonalds that had recently opened right below her apartment block as it was totally new to Odessa at the time and really the only thing close to 'American' food there. Yeah, it wasn't stylish since McD's is fast food here but I thought it would be different nonetheless. Her response: 'Too expensive!'

 

Ppl talk and i love to listen to them do it ... and one thing that shocked me was that they were all judging men who drank [because that's not a true man ... he should spend the $ on other stuff and that matters in a poor country] and that women who drank [we are talking married ones] ... were considered always the bottom of the barrel.

Honestly ... the concept of girls night out where you can get slightly drunk is unheard of.

 

Yeah, my experience was that the ladies weren't against drinking, per se, but rather against men drinking to excess and the resultant poor behaviors. There was plenty of vodka on the tables and the men and I did our fair share of drinking, to be sure, but the behaviors remained enjoyable. I think it was also partly a test by the ladies to see how my behaviors were when drinking as men can go a number of different ways.

 

In general, the ladies I dated only drank wine, if anything, and my observation it was more social than drinking to drink. I have been with some female alcoholics from that part of the world, though not in-country, and their behaviors were completely different, better aligning with a typical alcoholic anywhere.

 

I would say the best advice and observations I received were those of my interpreter and driver when dating in south Ukraine. They were both older (late 40's to 50's) and very measured in their analysis. It was also interesting to see the 'mail order bride' business from the other side, inside the agencies. I often would help my interpreter with other men who were corresponding with local ladies, informing her on specific words and phrases which she did not understand.

 

Oh, lastly, the ladies I interacted with loathed what they termed 'keyboard romeos', meaning men who would correspond but not move forward to visiting. They liked clear interest in them and it becoming in person. Remember, these weren't 'models' (a pejorative term one of the ladies I dated had for some of the others), they were regular people with regular lives and responsibilities. They really wanted clear signs that a man they were investing their time in was interested in them. Back then, that was getting on a plane and visiting. The guys who showed up, like I did, which were comparatively very few (according to the ladies), had a lot of opportunities.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I'm not American so I can't speak for the American dating scene but surely it's not that bad? Although must say I've never been attracted to an American male that I've met overseas (generally too loud, brash, cocky and hyper-masculine - big 'bro culture.)

 

Aren't Southern states women more typically homely and traditional? I thought that each state varied widely from the last. I imagine LA being a problematic city to find love and perhaps even NY but what about the other states?

 

As for dating overseas, well yes it can work.

 

Dating a foreigner has it's pros and cons.

I've dated a Thai man and at present I'm with a New Zealander (I'm English.)

 

Ultimately, the differences between myself and the Thai man were insurmountable.

 

There are some men walking around with wives who can barely speak English and only want their money and status (just like American women supposedly do) only they act the part better.

 

In my opinion, some people are more drawn to different cultures. You might like European women more, other men love American women for their boldness and independence, others prefer for examples Asian cultures that are largely more traditional (although if you peel back the surface you might be surprised...Asian women are hardly weak little flowers.). So it's worth giving it a try if you feel you've exhausted America but isn't America full of immigrants anyway? Can't you meet and date one of those women? I'd say avoid mail order etc...as that's basically just modern day slavery and not a real relationship at all.

 

But as for being open to dating other cultures, by all means yes. You may find you are more compatible with a different lady.

Edited March 24, 2015 by Nikki Sahagin

[Sarabi]

Knew a nice girl from Solihull once. But she was 'Villa' it was not to be.

 

Oh dear the dreaded Villa...I take it you're a Blues fan?

I used to work at St Andrews in the boxes

[Haydn]

Oh dear the dreaded Villa...I take it you're a Blues fan?

I used to work at St Andrews in the boxes

 

Blues as in Chelsea. Although St Andrews away is always an experience.

[Sarabi]

Blues as in Chelsea. Although St Andrews away is always an experience.

 

Fair enough

Am not a fan of any of them...they all get far too much money!

[seibert253]

Right now I'm seeing a lady who migrated to the US from Peru. She's physically not so attractive but, she treats me like a king. This is why guys look outside the US.

[carhill]

TBH, when dating internationally, I wasn't looking to be treated like a king, rather like the decent human being I was. I simply wasn't getting that at home, at all. I recognized the difference immediately, irrespective of socio-economics, which was why I kept going back. Yeah, it was expensive but, at the time, there were more important things in life than money. In retrospect, if I had gone and stayed and dealt with any lifestyle changes that resulted, I probably would have been in a better place than I am now.

[calvincline47]

TBH, when dating internationally, I wasn't looking to be treated like a king, rather like the decent human being I was. I simply wasn't getting that at home, at all. I recognized the difference immediately, irrespective of socio-economics, which was why I kept going back. Yeah, it was expensive but, at the time, there were more important things in life than money. In retrospect, if I had gone and stayed and dealt with any lifestyle changes that resulted, I probably would have been in a better place than I am now.

 

I agree with this and it's even more true for the younger generation today.

 

Women in western countries have a ton of dating options and many men are willing to bend over backwards for them. So many expect ALL men to behave this way.

 

I've dated overseas as well and I find women there to be more desirable overall, more feminine, more pleasant to be around, etc.

 

That's not to say that there are no good western women. The good ones are few and far between and are greatly outnumbered by good western men.

 

I'm working on a situation right now where I could work 6 months in the US and make a lot of money, then spend 6 months in a non-feminist country. I think that this will be the wave of the future.

[carhill]

Depending on skillset, one doesn't even need to live in the US to make money from the US economy or, heck, make it somewhere else. One of our camping buddies retired from his last tour in Iraq doing, of all things, guarding grunts like me who kept the HVAC running. After he retired, he trained as a HVAC tech and volunteered to go over there, risking getting shot at, to work on the stuff and made a cool .5MM in his first year and, yup, his house in TN and his motorhome reflected it. There are opportunities all around the world. All one needs to do is be willing to go after them, just like going overseas to find dates and mates. It all comes down to choice. What do we choose to do with our lives?

[Anela]

and are greatly outnumbered by good western men.

 

 

Hardly.

........

[calvincline47]

Depending on skillset, one doesn't even need to live in the US to make money from the US economy or, heck, make it somewhere else. One of our camping buddies retired from his last tour in Iraq doing, of all things, guarding grunts like me who kept the HVAC running. After he retired, he trained as a HVAC tech and volunteered to go over there, risking getting shot at, to work on the stuff and made a cool .5MM in his first year and, yup, his house in TN and his motorhome reflected it. There are opportunities all around the world. All one needs to do is be willing to go after them, just like going overseas to find dates and mates. It all comes down to choice. What do we choose to do with our lives?

 

I'm currently active duty as well (soon to be a veteran though). There are options overseas in my career field through the government (along with that sweet veteran's preference) so I'll be looking into them for sure. It will likely take a few years to get into the situation that I want to be in though.

 

When were you in the military? I hear that the military used to be a sweet gig back in the day, before it was ruined by all of the PC bullsh*t.