zanzabar Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 I love my girlfriend of 6 months but I hate it when she won't take the time to end a discussion with me. In other words, she'll roll over and ignore me and go to bed mad at me instead of listening and talking and working things out. I seriously can't sleep if there's some problem unresolved. She expects all my attention, at all times, and I do give it to her. But then when it is I who needs her to be attentive to an issue, she's not always willing to talk about it. Last night she even went out to my car to sleep because I was keeping her up trying to work somethin out. It was 7:30 pm. The ****? How do I get her to thoroughly understand how much I'm there for her at all times, and how much she's not there for me sometimes? Link to post Share on other sites
Donut Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Give her one more chance to talk, tell her there is something you want to talk about, ask when would be the best time? What problems are you trying to talk to her about? Is it a sensitive subject at all? If that doesn't work cool things off for a while. Don't be so available for her, don't stay over, go out with your friends more, see how she responds. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 How do I get her to thoroughly understand how much I'm there for her at all times, and how much she's not there for me sometimes? No sense in telling her something she already knows on some level. Unfortunately, for people like her - you can give until you are dried up withered husk, and she'll still be standing over your remains demanding more. This is a one sided relationship, which is all about her. Should you try to tip the balance even an inch in your own favor, she'll use emotional blackmail to force you back into doing what works best for her. You can tell her this, and ask that she try to tip the balance toward a more mutual relationship but you can't actually make her want to do anything to actually make those changes. She will only stop being selfish, when she wants to stop being selfish. Right now, her interests lie not in what she can do for your relationship but what you can do for her. As long as you stay in the relationship under her terms, she will have no motivation to change. You will need to let her know that this one-sided relationship isn't working for you, and that if she isn't willing to make the necessary changes to move toward a more mutually beneficial relationship that you'll have to say your goodbyes. You'll have to be firm, though - and initiate some solid no contact, and not fall prey to emotional games - people like this are very good at calling bluffs and then making you pay tenfold in guilt for daring to stand up for yourself and your needs. Link to post Share on other sites
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