Who is <more> content on being single, women or men?

[irc333]

I was going to add this to the other post about "Happy being single/alone", but I couldn't find where it was.

 

Anyway, I was wondering with some of the threads coming up questioning on whether or not "You have to be happy being alone than with being with someone" and other such similar topics on here.

 

I was wondering, who so you think is more content on being single...men or women?

 

I am thinking women, (and no, I'm not gender bashing), because men are the pursuers and women get to choose who pursues them. I think men are likely more eager to have a woman than a woman would desire a man. Esp. the post-divorce's

 

I had met quite a few women that just go about their daily activities with female friends or there rather occupied with their raising their children than dating. Things like that.

 

Just a theory, anyone have thoughts of their own?

[Emilia]

anyone have thoughts of their own?

That you would be MUCH happier if you saw women as people as opposed to focusing so hard on the supposed gender divide lines and treating us like aliens.

[writergal]

anyone have thoughts of their own?

 

Asking either gender if they're happy being single, is like asking a cow if it likes being slaughtered for hamburger meat, or asking a child if he/she wants candy instead of vegetables. Some will say no, some will say yes.

 

Here's a question: why is your question gender biased? You think women are happier being single because women just occupy their time raising children and things like that? Of course you're gender bashing. Pffft.

 

I am thinking women, (and no, I'm not gender bashing), because men are the pursuers and women get to choose who pursues them. I think men are likely more eager to have a woman than a woman would desire a man. Esp. the post-divorce's

 

I had met quite a few women that just go about their daily activities with female friends or there rather occupied with their raising their children than dating. Things like that.

 

Here's another question: Why do you seem so unhappy with women? It seems to me like all of your posts attempt to paint women in a negative light.

Edited November 10, 2014 by writergal

[irc333]

That you would be MUCH happier if you saw women as people as opposed to focusing so hard on the supposed gender divide lines and treating us like aliens.

 

Say that to the author of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and THEN we'll talk.

 

Until then, stay on topic please.

 

Funny, I hear women at work or social circles criticizing men to no end, sometimes in mix company, but when MEN do it...we're looked upon with scrutiny.

[hotpotato]

I guess im reppin for Team Pink singles

 

I vote for women. Women tend to do a lot of emotion work in relationships which get old. Ive seen women go long times without dating or even sex though they could get it.

 

Im sure others have seen different. Thats just my opinion.

[serial muse]

Funny, I hear women at work or social circles criticizing men to no end, sometimes in mix company, but when MEN do it...we're looked upon with scrutiny.

 

Apparently, women who do that ARE looked at with scrutiny. Judging by your voluminous posts on that very topic.

 

I agree with Emilia. Maybe it's time to put down the laptop?

[somedude81]

Women are far more comfortable being alone than men are.

 

If a woman is single, there is a huge chance that she's single because she wants to be.

 

If a guy is single, there's a big chance he's trying hard to find somebody to date.

[Rejected Rosebud]

There are so many men who don't want to be in a relationship! It's common among my girlfriends that they fall for a guy and he's not looking for anything serious … or at least not with her, right now.

 

What about the whole thing about how women only have a short "shelf life" and better get hitched up before we turn 27 and all stale and stuff?

You guys who want to bash women ought to try to get on the same page!

[OwMyEyeball]

I had met quite a few women that just go about their daily activities with female friends or there rather occupied with their raising their children than dating. Things like that.

 

Just a theory, anyone have thoughts of their own?

Answered your own question.

 

Apply the rationale you just did for those women: having important pre-occupations, higher aspirations and intimate friendships.

 

Men can have these too.

[BlueIris]

False dilemma - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[pteromom]

Say that to the author of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and THEN we'll talk.

 

 

There are generalizations that are true about men and women. As the author of that book states, many men like to hide in a "cave" before dealing with an issue, and many women like to force conversations about feelings, but that doesn't mean that every man or every woman is cut from a cookie cutter and is exactly the same.

 

Some women are ok being single. Some aren't.

Some men are ok being single. Some aren't.

 

There are many other criteria that matter much more than what gender someone is.

 

How much they like themselves. How fulfilled they are by hobbies and friendships.

How much they enjoy spending time on their own in general.

How high their sex drive is.

How high their desire for affection is.

What their life goals are (someone who highly values having a family will seek out LTRs, whereas someone who focuses on career may not).

How quickly and fully they are able to bounce back from breakup pain.

 

I'm a woman and I would be ok single. But that's not because I am a woman. It's because I enjoy spending time on my own, have very few needs of another person, and am pretty self-sufficient.

 

But just because someone can be "content" single doesn't mean they can't be happy in a relationship either.

[Kav]

Men

Women cannot bear to be single and most women have an alternate BF lined up at all times in case of a breakup and jump right from one relationship to the next.

[hotpotato]

Men

Women cannot bear to be single and most women have an alternate BF lined up at all times in case of a breakup and jump right from one relationship to the next.

 

Hmmm...My boyfriends always have women lined up before they jump ship...

[rester]

I've known both women and men that have been happy single. I've also known both women and men that prefer relationships. I don't think there's any way to break that down into genders, and what would be the point?

[carhill]

I was going to add this to the other post about "Happy being single/alone", but I couldn't find where it was.

Here's a thread on a similar topic you penned awhile back:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/476440-there-single-people-truly-happy-they-single

 

=================

 

IMO, it comes down to the individual, rather than gender. I've seen little to no conclusive evidence that one gender or the other has the market cornered on happiness being single. That said, with biology assigning the male the hunting makeup, in general, not specifically with regards to romance, a man is more likely to be active and obvious in nearly any pursuit in life. Men of my generation were, overwhelmingly, socialized to protect and provide and do so actively, so our biology, along with our socialization, appears to keep us perpetually engaged, whether that be in business, seeking a mate or pursuing personal goals.

 

Anecdotally, I see very few males my age alone in my demographic. In my social circle I know of only one other than myself. I know a few more women who are single and apparently happy (they say anyway); some are widows and some simply checked out of the date and mate lifestyle after getting divorces. I don't know any women who have always been alone.

 

I'll provide an example of part of why I'm content being single and alone....after a hard day's work on a project with my best friend, we rushed to clean up to go to dinner at another friend's house....he had earlier mentioned to me something about a party, since it was his BD yesterday. So, riding along, I made a comment about being tired and looking forward to enjoying the party and here comes a slap to the side of my head from the back seat, after which I was informed that such was supposed to be a secret. Heck, I didn't even know anything about a dinner until getting the news the night before from the person who smacked me and who didn't mention anything about a party.

 

Thanks, I'm very content being single. I wish all the success and prosperity to those married folks. Good on them.

[Kav]

Hmmm...My boyfriends always have women lined up before they jump ship...

Are you sure they didn't meet some woman and decide to jump ship? That's more men's MO....

[Eternal Sunshine]

I would be happier being with someone I am truly into and vice versa in a steady and peacuful committed relationship. Other than that, I am happier being single than being with somone "I am not that into", "he is not that into me", casual arrangements of any kind, drama filled relationship, relationship with obvious red flags (i.e. guy that is separated rather than divorced) and similar.

 

I think the difference between me and most other people is that they would rather be in at least one or more scenarios in italics than be single.

Edited November 11, 2014 by Eternal Sunshine

[thefooloftheyear]

It's kind of a ridiculous question...Im totally fine being alone...I have a wonderful family, a great kid, a very busy career and professional life..Im in the middle of developing several products that will keep me busy for the next decade and I dont even need the money..

 

.Believe me, I can fill a day pretty well...Im never bored..

 

And i know women who are the same...These folks dont actively pursue a relationship, but they keep their options open...Its just not a life ending journey, thats all...There isnt anything wrong with anyone...

 

Dont want to point fingers here, but it seems like some of these threads sound like a fisherman complaining that there are no fish because they cant catch any..So they come up with scenarios that justify their ineptitude, rather than figuring out how to go about becoming a better fisherman..It makes it a bit easier to swallow if they say the fish just arent there....

 

 

TFY

[irc333]

I would be happier being with someone I am truly into and vice versa in a steady and peacuful committed relationship. Other than that, I am happier being single than being with somone "I am not that into", "he is not that into me", casual arrangements of any kind, drama filled relationship, relationship with obvious red flags (i.e. guy that is separated rather than divorced) and similar.

 

I think the difference between me and most other people is that they would rather be in at least one or more scenarios in italics than be single.

 

Speaking of "Casual arrangements" or FWB, I was about to say that men would be content on remaining single as long as he has a "casual arrangement" from time to time. lol. Though it's funny, there's likely some truth to it.

 

"Yeah, I'm getting laid, when I get a little 'frisky', I take a walk next door to the neighbor lady's house, instead of having a girlfriend, best arrangement a bachelor could have!" *Sticks hand in pants Al Bundy-style as he watches the game*

 

Yeah, I know, it sounds bad when put like that, but does paint a picture.

[sillyanswer]

Just a theory, anyone have thoughts of their own?

 

I don't think you can meaningfully say whether "men" or "women" as an entire group (or even just the single ones) are more content at being single. Such generalisations aren't helpful, either.

 

Some people are very content, at various times, at being single. Sometimes those same people would also like to be in a relationship where they can continue to be content.

[MissBee]

It depends on what single means.

 

Does single mean: completely without any, even casual, opposite sex relationship. I.e. no FWB, no sex with anyone, etc?

 

Does single mean: dating casually, might have a FWB, might have one night stands but you're not in a serious relationship?

 

Does single mean: not married but dating seriously or casually?

 

I think depending on what kind of degree of single the answers will vary. I think many women are given the message by society that you must be married by a certain age and sold the idea that as you age you become undesirable (so better bag a man before then) , and some women want a family and kids...so I think in that sense more women aspire to finding a husband and eventually getting married than men who do. As perpetual bachelors are in vogue, and it's fine for a man to have casual, non-committed relationships and no kids esp if he is successful and no one bats an eyelid, they just say of course he's single he's been making his fortune and building his career whereas for women if you're 45 without a husband and kids a lot of people's response is to try to figure out what happened. So in terms of single as in no marriage or LTR (but maybe casual ones)men can be happier this way as society is more generous towards them about it.

 

Single though as in completely without any opposite sex relationship, casual or just sexual, it depends. I'm tempted to say more women can be fine without pursuing this whereas men care more about at least acquiring casual sexual relationships. But it really depends on the people though vs. women in general and men in general. I think it's person specific as I know some women who are never single and never want to be so always hop from one relationship to the next or one fling to the next, whereas some aren't this way, similarly with men. Some always seem to have a gf or a fling or something going on while others don't.

 

However, there's also been studies showing that with the case of divorce/spouse death men seem to remarry more quickly and more commonly than women who do. Not to mention the study that married men live longer...so I guess there is more benefits for men in being in a relationship with a woman.

Edited November 12, 2014 by MissBee

[preraph]

IRC, I would say it's extremely individual and that it does not fall around gender lines. Some people want a companion most of the time. Some don't. Some men want to keep their options open and stay single for a time, but most of them eventually marry. Most young women kind of want to marry until they do and then if it goes badly, they may become the ones who decide it's more trouble than it's worth to them. But it really all comes down to each person's personality, whether they are so social they need someone around or so independent they are good on their own, and that goes for both men and women.

[irc333]

Good point, men will be happy being single, but with the condition they are getting sex from some source, otherwise they may be more irritable than happy. LOL

 

Some people are happy being single as long as the have an F-buddy.

 

It depends on what single means.

 

Does single mean: completely without any, even casual, opposite sex relationship. I.e. no FWB, no sex with anyone, etc?

 

Does single mean: dating casually, might have a FWB, might have one night stands but you're not in a serious relationship?

 

Does single mean: not married but dating seriously or casually?

 

I think depending on what kind of degree of single the answers will vary. I think many women are given the message by society that you must be married by a certain age and sold the idea that as you age you become undesirable (so better bag a man before then) , and some women want a family and kids...so I think in that sense more women aspire to finding a husband and eventually getting married than men who do. As perpetual bachelors are in vogue, and it's fine for a man to have casual, non-committed relationships and no kids esp if he is successful and no one bats an eyelid, they just say of course he's single he's been making his fortune and building his career whereas for women if you're 45 without a husband and kids a lot of people's response is to try to figure out what happened. So in terms of single as in no marriage or LTR (but maybe casual ones)men can be happier this way as society is more generous towards them about it.

 

Single though as in completely without any opposite sex relationship, casual or just sexual, it depends. I'm tempted to say more women can be fine without pursuing this whereas men care more about at least acquiring casual sexual relationships. But it really depends on the people though vs. women in general and men in general. I think it's person specific as I know some women who are never single and never want to be so always hop from one relationship to the next or one fling to the next, whereas some aren't this way, similarly with men. Some always seem to have a gf or a fling or something going on while others don't.

 

However, there's also been studies showing that with the case of divorce/spouse death men seem to remarry more quickly and more commonly than women who do. Not to mention the study that married men live longer...so I guess there is more benefits for men in being in a relationship with a woman.

[irc333]

With the amount of the same veteran people I've been seeing on POF daily, one may wonder if they might wind up growing old unattached. I guess they are content on growing old as such.

 

I even took a few month break from POF only to return to see the same swath of people on it.

[me85]

Men and women are and will always differ emotionally. So it's interesting to compare the differences between us. I know we're all human and basically have the same desires but there are significant differences between men and women. For sure. They're fun to explore too! IMO.

 

I think women are more content with being single. The reason I think that is because in most cases, a woman has a real emotional support system with other women in their family or with close friends. Usually women are able to share feelings more easily and openly than men are, regardless. We can gain a certain sense of security from family and close friends alike. I think women are more emotionally mature which could also be a reason we are more content with being single.