Anger against women who shave?

[CrystalCastles]

I was recently rereading an old thread of mine about shaving. There was also a thread floating around in the sex forum on this topic. This raises a few questions for me.

 

I have noticed that women who don't shave their lady bits, and also men who prefer unshaven lady bits, frequently hurl around the insult "women who shave look like they're 12". Why? Why does nobody ever say "you shave your armpits? You must look 12". How come shaving lady bits in particular necessitates these insults, but shaving your legs or armpits doesn't?

 

Also, someone on one of these threads said that shaving your vag is either cultural or because men like it. Why isn't it because its simply a woman's preference and she just likes it that way? Why does her choice always have to be about culture or men? And I also don't really get why that's a bad thing- the culture reasoning. Shaving your armpits and shaving your legs, is that also not cultural? It doesn't seem like such a hot issue though, why?

 

I am not trying to sound confrontational, just want to know why people think this way and what is their reasoning, since none of this has ever occurred to me, regardless of whether I have hair down there or not.

[anne1707]

Seeing as in that thread you at one stage stated that women shave because ALL women hate their pubic hair then you too are responsible for making sweeping statements. Strangely enough the evidence you then cited to support your claim clearly stated that MOST women do NOT shave.

 

Now I have no issue one way or another but just as you object to those statements looking negatively on shaving, I object to statements about all women hating aspects of their perfectly natural body when that is clearly not the case.

[somedude81]

In my experience its been the women who say that a shaved vulva looks like a prepubescent girl. And then question why a man would want that.

 

My standard reply is that Ive never seen a naked little girl so I have no idea if that's what a shaved vulva looks like.

 

All that matters to me is that I prefer the look of shaved.

[CrystalCastles]

Seeing as in that thread you at one stage stated that women shave because ALL women hate their pubic hair then you too are responsible for making sweeping statements. Strangely enough the evidence you then cited to support your claim clearly stated that MOST women do NOT shave.

 

Now I have no issue one way or another but just as you object to those statements looking negatively on shaving, I object to statements about all women hating aspects of their perfectly natural body when that is clearly not the case.

 

Good grief, this again. I never actually said "all women". Seriously. I said "most". Most women shave something! I am not going to have this argument with you all over again, because we've already discussed this and maybe we should just agree to disagree. If you want to contribute to the topic otherwise, feel free. I also never said any insults toward women who don't shave, so I don't see why the reverse is justified.

[lollipopspot]

I'm pretty sure your question was answered in the other thread, so I'm not sure what you'll get out of this one that wasn't answered there.

[Andy_K]

Same reason some fat girls call thin ones 'anorexic stick insects'

[lollipopspot]

Same reason some fat girls call thin ones 'anorexic stick insects'

 

Um, no.

 

A female might even give into shaving most or all of her hair, but still be aware of the cultural implications.

[Emilia]

What Andy_K said and also why some women b**ch when others wear a short skirt, etc. It's like wanting to be sexy and doing something for your man is a crime. We should all stop shaving, wear dungarees and stop washing our hair. Then no-one would be at a disadvantage, every woman would look equally awful and everyone would feel bad about themselves not just the selected few.

[CrystalCastles]

A female might even give into shaving most or all of her hair, but still be aware of the cultural implications.

 

I'm asking this question because, if this was already answered in the previous thread, then I must have misunderstood it and therefore am asking for clarification.

 

"Give into shaving"? You make it sound like culture forces women to shave, rather than they do it because they like the look. I started shaving long before I started dating, I had no idea if anyone else was shaving, nor did I ever watch porn or read forums like these and my friends didn't discuss any of this so I hadn't a clue as to what culture did or what men wanted.

 

I'm sure some women shave because they know men want them to or because its culturally acceptable, but there are women who shave because they're not fans of hair. Plus, how come there isn't this much anger about shaving your armpits? By that reasoning, women have given in to culture and shave their armpits. But nobody seems to think that a bad thing or makes it into a discussion.

 

Plus, I don't really see why people talk about this with such venom. Its just hair.

[Emilia]

"Give into shaving"? You make it sound like culture forces women to shave, rather than they do it because they like the look. I started shaving long before I started dating, I had no idea if anyone else was shaving, nor did I ever watch porn or read forums like these and my friends didn't discuss any of this so I hadn't a clue as to what culture did or what men wanted.

But you must be in denial, it's the patriarchy that's forcing you

 

Never mind the fact that I started waxing before internet was invented in the 80s and therefore porn was confined to VHS tapes and all the women in it still had a bush. Clearly still the victim here though for 'giving in'.

[CrystalCastles]

But you must be in denial, it's the patriarchy that's forcing you

 

Never mind the fact that I started waxing before internet was invented in the 80s and therefore porn was confined to VHS tapes and all the women in it still had a bush. Clearly still the victim here though for 'giving in'.

 

Lol! I had to google Dungarees. They're actually back now.

 

That was my thought. It seems that its bad to shave pubes because that's called "giving in to patriarchy" but shaving legs and armpits is not? Isn't that kind of contradictory thinking?

[Emilia]

Lol! I had to google Dungarees. They're actually back now.

 

That was my thought. It seems that its bad to shave pubes because that's called "giving in to patriarchy" but shaving legs and armpits is not? Isn't that kind of contradictory thinking?

Haha yes they are back. Most men I know hate them the way they hate harem pants.

 

I suppose legs and armpits aren't sexualised and are on display therefore keeping them hairless is part of grooming. While if you have a brazilian it's only you and your lover that will see it so becomes a 'him vs you'.

[anne1707]

Good grief, this again. I never actually said "all women". Seriously. I said "most". Most women shave something! I am not going to have this argument with you all over again, because we've already discussed this and maybe we should just agree to disagree. If you want to contribute to the topic otherwise, feel free. I also never said any insults toward women who don't shave, so I don't see why the reverse is justified.

 

I actually came back to this thread because I realised I was mistaken. You did indeed say "most women" and not "all women" so apologies for that. However that was still a sweeping comment and not supported by your evidence.

 

I am also unsure whether you are trying get to imply I have insulted you and/or other women. My view is that if women want to shave then go for it. If they don't then that's all good too. To suggest either is wrong because it's not your (you general) personal preference is wrong.

[thefooloftheyear]

Like stated...Its a personal preference...I wouldnt have an issue either way...Their body, their choice...If they asked me my opinion, id tell them, but in no way would I expect them to accomodate me...Its not that big of a deal, in the scheme of things...

 

I think the one thing that does puzzle me is why women immediately think that all guys like full Brazilian..??.Just NOT true, and I have no idea where that logic came to be prominent...Because when you hear some women talk about it, one of the many reasons they give is because they think it will make them more desireable/attractive to their man, but usually they never bothered even asking...Some like it and some dont, others dont care either way..

 

I wouldnt want anyone telling me that they dont like my physique, the way I dress or anything else..I can take constructive criticism, but at the end of the day, we do what makes us feel right...Rarely does it make sense to do stuff to appeal to others if it doesnt feel "right"..

 

TFY

[Rejected Rosebud]

What is "giving in" to shaving? Isn't it just kind of a fashionable trend right now that will probably go a different way some time? Heck, we should all do whatever we want with our pubic hair, who else should care? Unless it's our partner.

[browneyes88]

I just don't know why people make such a big deal either way about it. I'm 26, and female, so shaving was pretty much just something I did from the time I was about 16, because it seems like everyone shaved your lady parts, legs, and underarms. Then a few years ago I started letting some pubic hair stay, like a landing strip, or a small patch that I kept really short. Then after my last relationship ended, I let it all go for a while. I never really done that except when it first grew in when I was a teenager, so I wanted to see what it was like. I actually liked it.

 

Receny, things were getting pretty hot and heavy during a make out session with my current boyfriend one night, (we hadn't done anything but kiss at that point) and I warned him that I hadn't shaved in a while, because I didn't expect anything to happen, and had gotten a little lazy. I actually did not expect it, because I didn't expect to see him for a few days and then plans changed. In fact, I had intended to shave before our next expected date that coming weekend.

 

Long story short, he's always preferred a woman who doesn't shave her pubes. It might be somewhat generational, he is 36 and I'm 26, but whatever. He LOVES it, and TMI ALERT: Doesn't mind going down on me that way, in fact prefers it to be hairy.

 

I did end up shaving along my bikini line and shorten the rest up a bit, because the full jungle was a bit much, and I grow a lot of hair anyway, but I like it this way and so does he. And honestly, I really don't care what anybody else does and I don't know why people make such a big deal out of it. As my boyfriend says "it's just hair, I don't get why people get so bent out of shape over it one way or the other". I still shave my legs and underarms though, I don't think I could go so far as to stop shaving those areas.

 

And guys shaving pubes or body hair? Ugh. Weird. Maybe I'm old school, but I like men with some body hair. Not so much she looks like a sweater, but not totally bare, either.

[sillyanswer]

I have noticed that women who don't shave their lady bits, and also men who prefer unshaven lady bits, frequently hurl around the insult "women who shave look like they're 12". Why? Why does nobody ever say "you shave your armpits? You must look 12". How come shaving lady bits in particular necessitates these insults, but shaving your legs or armpits doesn't?

 

Thank goodness nobody tells me I look 12 because I shave my face!

 

I'm not sure exactly what groups of people it is who hurl around that insult, but I have heard it on here and elsewhere together with claims (that must require an element of mind reading) about the motives of the person with the shaved parts. I think it mostly falls into the broad category of "haters gonna hate".

 

Ignore the haters, and shave/wax/laser/trim/grow according to whatever design you wish (which may include taking into consideration, or ignoring, the views and desires of any partners who are lucky enough to get to see your hairy/hairless bits).

[Els]

My observation on such threads is that there tends to be a lot of vitriol going both ways.

 

Frankly, if people could accept that there isn't any 'right' or 'wrong' choice and everyone has the right to make such decisions for themselves (and really, this applies to pretty much all disagreements here, not just shaving), life would be much easier.

[Thegreatestthing]

"what do you think the crazy bitch had done to herself? She had shaved it clean … not a speck of hair on it. Did you ever have a woman who shaved her twat? It’s repulsive, ain’t it? And it’s funny, too. Sort of mad like. It doesn’t look like a twat any more: it’s like a dead clam or something."

 

-Henry miller

[writergal]

"what do you think the crazy bitch had done to herself? She had shaved it clean … not a speck of hair on it. Did you ever have a woman who shaved her twat? It’s repulsive, ain’t it? And it’s funny, too. Sort of mad like. It doesn’t look like a twat any more: it’s like a dead clam or something."

 

-Henry miller

 

Tropic of Cancer. Damn good book. Oh, and I totally agree with that quote.

[anika99]

I never read the other thread but I think if people are making disparaging remarks about shaved genitals it's probably because at some point they were made to feel bad for not shaving.

 

 

I couldn't care less if people shave their pubic region or not but I have heard comments from the people who shave along the lines of It's cleaner, it looks better, pubic hair is disgusting, and so on. I only shave along the bikini area a little in the summer, for the rest of the year I just trim. It's offensive to hear people go on a tirade against pubic hair when I have pubic hair. I don't want to shave. My skin is so sensitive and I end up covered in razor bumps and ingrown hairs, waxing makes me break out in a rash and there's nothing appealing about bumps and rashes. I keep myself clean and groomed and so when people start talking about how ugly and hideous and unclean pubic hair is I feel like they are insulting me, so I wouldn't be surprised if other people who prefer keeping their pubic hair also feel insulted when they hear that crap and hit back.

[Imported]

What Andy_K said and also why some women b**ch when others wear a short skirt, etc. It's like wanting to be sexy and doing something for your man is a crime. We should all stop shaving, wear dungarees and stop washing our hair. Then no-one would be at a disadvantage, every woman would look equally awful and everyone would feel bad about themselves not just the selected few.

 

 

 

It's like for men, you also gotta concern yourself with "The Good'ol boys" . Usually this is a southern thing, but I like to apply it to what is usually a group of guys that are all about keeping the status quo in their favour. To do any better than them is gay.

 

If they're fat with big'ol beer bellies, it's gay to workout and watch what you eat and God forbid, limit your beer intake. Only gay narcissist go to the gym.

 

If they workout and are all about getting big, it's gay to be more about cardio and shooting for a more aesthetic build that the majority of women are attracted to. You should instead also try to get huge and build a body that men will be attracted impressed by, cause that's not gay at all.

 

Let's not even get into clothes, because of course having any fashion sense is gay.

Edited November 12, 2014 by Imported

[Taramere]

I have noticed that women who don't shave their lady bits, and also men who prefer unshaven lady bits, frequently hurl around the insult "women who shave look like they're 12". Why? Why does nobody ever say "you shave your armpits? You must look 12". How come shaving lady bits in particular necessitates these insults, but shaving your legs or armpits doesn't?

 

 

Let's face it, anything to do with women's nether regions tends to provoke excited, fulsome, derisive or indignant commentary.

[amaysngrace]

On a bright note, the incidence of crabs is on the decline

[stillafool]

 

 

Plus, I don't really see why people talk about this with such venom. Its just hair.

 

I'll admit I didn't read your entire other thread on this but I had no idea that people felt the way you describe above. I don't understand why anyone (other than a sex mate) would care what another person does with their private parts. Besides who would know unless you told them.