Do you ever get so tired of trying?

[Targetlock]

yes some days i do find it hard, but then bounce back, cant stop the romantic in me i guess

[insert_name]

Yep, I've been starting conversations with, or asking guys out on dates. I can usually tell if he is interested or not before i ask. But not always. Even follow up dates, i think the guy is keen but get rejected.

 

Well fair play then. Although I think you are very much in the minority I wish you werent!

[insert_name]

I was actually feeling really down today, but just reading that part you wrote really lifted my spirits. Your right, we gotta keep fighting, giving up is never an option. We're still men.

 

I just dont want to look back in 10 years when my options are even less appealing than they are now and wish I had tried harder to put myself in situations where I could meet someone. We can't go back and we cant get the lost time back. You might want to stop and thats fine, but the clock will carry on ticking regardless of whst you decide to do.

[NJ123]

Kolleamm, I feel the same as you. I think a lot of it has to do with me having some mental health issues (depression, anxiety, bad intrusive thoughts) which is rough to deal with. I just don't care about anything really. I genuinely believe if I won 10 million dollars tomorrow I still would feel empty. I'm not a bad looking guy so I think in time I'll find someone, but I don't know when that will be. Life in general really is tough, especially in today's society.

[kolleamm]

Kolleamm, I feel the same as you. I think a lot of it has to do with me having some mental health issues (depression, anxiety, bad intrusive thoughts) which is rough to deal with. I just don't care about anything really. I genuinely believe if I won 10 million dollars tomorrow I still would feel empty. I'm not a bad looking guy so I think in time I'll find someone, but I don't know when that will be. Life in general really is tough, especially in today's society.

 

It's always tough top fill in that empty void, and depression just makes it that much worse but it helps to know a lot of other people are in the same boat as well, but now we ask ourselves, where do we go from here?

[guest569]

Well fair play then. Although I think you are very much in the minority I wish you werent!

 

I think regret would be worse than rejection so why not? A lot of men and women though, prefer the men to pursue.

[NJ123]

It's always tough top fill in that empty void, and depression just makes it that much worse but it helps to know a lot of other people are in the same boat as well, but now we ask ourselves, where do we go from here?

 

Yeah, I don't know man. It's just hard to be excited about much these days. I honestly miss the carefree days of being a kid.

[Teknoe]

I honestly miss the carefree days of being a kid.

 

It might be why I'm such into retro games... the games of my youth. They are fun but they also remind me of a simpler time. After a long hard day at work, powering one on can instantly transport me back some twenty years when life was truly carefree and stress free.

[irc333]

Yeah it does get weary. Esp. when I keep seeing the same women within a few mins drive from me STILL on dating sites and still unresponsive.

[kolleamm]

I definetly miss being a kid, back then you got to hang out with all those buddies from school, and had a really awesome REAL social network. Now you just come home and message people via the internet with what feels like morse code.

[NJ123]

I definetly miss being a kid, back then you got to hang out with all those buddies from school, and had a really awesome REAL social network. Now you just come home and message people via the internet with what feels like morse code.

 

Exactly. As you're in your 20s & 30s it's really tough to really hang out with people on a regular basis. It's all contact through text with people mainly, at least for me. Everyone is busy with girlfriends or work or some other thing.

[insert_name]

I definetly miss being a kid, back then you got to hang out with all those buddies from school, and had a really awesome REAL social network. Now you just come home and message people via the internet with what feels like morse code.

 

Spot on about the morse code. I write some really playful opening messages with a bit of wit and yet after the obligatory profile view...no reply. I feel like I speak a different language than these people.

[insert_name]

I think regret would be worse than rejection so why not? A lot of men and women though, prefer the men to pursue.

 

Well fair play- I take my hat off to you, although you are in the minority. It would be nice if more women approached, but even then it would be nice if women would just smile more and give a sub text to introducing ourselves rather than a few sneaked glances that may be interest or it may not. Seems its considered part of being a man that we have to just keep risking rejection for the hell of it so women dont have to put themselves out there in any shape or form. Putting yourself out there does get tiring and takes a lot of energy when it always leads to nothing.

[most_distant_galaxy]

I don't know what to tell you.

 

Life is not easy when you are a hardcore romantic. Especially if you also keep an eye on reality. I know that I'm dreaming of things that 99% don't exist.. but keep on dreaming anyway.

 

But I wish someday there will be the man who will effortlessly change my outlook. And also I wish to be mature enough to admit it.

[Targetlock]

yes some days it usually can be very hard but i usually bounce back but then again as a hopeless romantic i cant help myself, even if it does drive me crazy sometimes.

[mr_dave]

I used to try but I don't anymore. I'm 26 and have been single for 18 months since my one and only GF dumped me for another guy. Her cheating left me completely emasculated, I just feel now like I'm not good enough for any decent woman.

I tried online dating for a few months, but sending hundreds of lengthy messages, just to get a few dates with girls I didn't really fancy and who didn't really fancy me - it didn't seem a good return on the time and effort invested, and served only to reinforce my mindset.

 

I'm quite a romantic guy, so on the one hand I'd love to have a chance meeting with a woman in a park/ on a train etc, but women don't even glance my way. On the other hand though, I'm in the best physical shape I'll ever be, but am letting my prime years slip by.

Should meeting a girlfriend be something you have to try at though, jumping through hoops when the some of those girls will be easier conquests for better looking guys? It's just something that I ask myself sometimes...

 

I voluntarily do 60+ hour weeks at work, and just visit the gym, play football and sleep outside of work, coping by avoiding the loneliness and killing time, but not really living.

Take last night for example. (Saturday) Instead of having a night alone, I chose to work until 7pm, (from 6am) returned home, showered, ate some food and went to bed at 8:30.

 

If I do see a woman I'm attracted to, my thought process is as follows..

 

'Wow, she's gorgeous..... she probably has a boyfriend'. Then I say to myself... 'Why the fig would she want to go out with you anyway, you're pathetic/boring/ugly etc...?'

 

I have great admiration for you chaps who keep plugging away through adversity and remaining positive, you deserve to find success!

[LookAtThisPOst]

Wow, Mr Dave, scarily enough you seem to have a good amount going for you. At least you're going to the gym and staying active outside of work.

 

At least you're not a couch potatoes, right? LOL

 

Kind of surprised you don't try checking out the ladies at the gym. I know how some people "say" they hate getting talked to at the gym ( I avoid the word "hit on" as it's rather a presumptuous word)...but hey...people with common interests go to gather at the gym, right?

 

I tried to approach a cute cashier or some worker at the mall only to find out, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend, but I'm really flattered you asked!"

 

Women around here are always spoken for. Of course, they could just be lying. LOL

 

With online, you don't have to worry about that.

 

I used to try but I don't anymore. I'm 26 and have been single for 18 months since my one and only GF dumped me for another guy. Her cheating left me completely emasculated, I just feel now like I'm not good enough for any decent woman.

I tried online dating for a few months, but sending hundreds of lengthy messages, just to get a few dates with girls I didn't really fancy and who didn't really fancy me - it didn't seem a good return on the time and effort invested, and served only to reinforce my mindset.

 

I'm quite a romantic guy, so on the one hand I'd love to have a chance meeting with a woman in a park/ on a train etc, but women don't even glance my way. On the other hand though, I'm in the best physical shape I'll ever be, but am letting my prime years slip by.

Should meeting a girlfriend be something you have to try at though, jumping through hoops when the some of those girls will be easier conquests for better looking guys? It's just something that I ask myself sometimes...

 

I voluntarily do 60+ hour weeks at work, and just visit the gym, play football and sleep outside of work, coping by avoiding the loneliness and killing time, but not really living.

Take last night for example. (Saturday) Instead of having a night alone, I chose to work until 7pm, (from 6am) returned home, showered, ate some food and went to bed at 8:30.

 

If I do see a woman I'm attracted to, my thought process is as follows..

 

'Wow, she's gorgeous..... she probably has a boyfriend'. Then I say to myself... 'Why the fig would she want to go out with you anyway, you're pathetic/boring/ugly etc...?'

 

I have great admiration for you chaps who keep plugging away through adversity and remaining positive, you deserve to find success!

[mr_dave]

Wow, Mr Dave, scarily enough you seem to have a good amount going for you. At least you're going to the gym and staying active outside of work.

 

At least you're not a couch potatoes, right? LOL

 

Kind of surprised you don't try checking out the ladies at the gym. I know how some people "say" they hate getting talked to at the gym ( I avoid the word "hit on" as it's rather a presumptuous word)...but hey...people with common interests go to gather at the gym, right?

 

I tried to approach a cute cashier or some worker at the mall only to find out, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend, but I'm really flattered you asked!"

 

Women around here are always spoken for. Of course, they could just be lying. LOL

 

With online, you don't have to worry about that.

 

Hmm, well I go to quite a small male dominated gym, but I'll probably switch in the near future.

 

I guess you're right about OLD, at least you know they are single before you approach. However, perhaps that makes the rejection worse?

 

Kudos for trying with the cashier girl, I wish you better luck with your next approach!

[Coe]

Lots of whining on here about picky women. Women don't have to talk to someone they aren't attracted to just because they have a shorter biological clock when it comes to procreation.

 

I actually love OLD, it gives me something to do when I'm not busy going out with friends or generally just living my life. However some people's lives seem to revolve around it and finding someone.

 

Women have a sixth sense for desperate guys, and are under no obligation to talk to you to stop you feeling depressed.

 

If you can't be happy on your own you won't be able to keep someone else happy with you.

[ponchsox]

Wow, this thread really hits home. I have a great job, own my own home, have great friends, family, and yet I have a very difficult time finding someone. It's not through a lack of effort. I'm very outgoing, funny, and in good shape. Is decent enough looking, wear nice clothes, although I'm balding (maybe this is the issue?)

 

Anyway I've pretty much written off finding someone. I'm very content being single but I often feel lonely. It's good to know I'm not alone.

[Bito]

I am happy being single. I have not been with anyone since 2012.

 

I miss the sex and companionship that being in a relationship offers but when I'm in a relationship I miss being alone... it's a catch 22 I suppose.

 

Best thing to do is just live your life the way you want to. Don't feel like you have to be daiting someone. You dont...

[LookAtThisPOst]

Lots of whining on here about picky women. Women don't have to talk to someone they aren't attracted to just because they have a shorter biological clock when it comes to procreation.

 

I actually love OLD, it gives me something to do when I'm not busy going out with friends or generally just living my life. However some people's lives seem to revolve around it and finding someone.

 

Women have a sixth sense for desperate guys, and are under no obligation to talk to you to stop you feeling depressed.

 

If you can't be happy on your own you won't be able to keep someone else happy with you.

 

You assume that those who are "whining" as you call it are not happy on their own. Some people come here to voice their regards when it comes to dating these days. With the holidays coming up, you'll probably start seeing more of these kinds of posts. It's only natural to feel lonely every so often. Actually, this site wouldn't have as many attendees if that were the case.

[guest569]

You assume that those who are "whining" as you call it are not happy on their own.

 

Of course they're not happy alone, these are men who constantly whine about the fact hundreds of women ignored their messages on dating sites. It's all the fault of women who are picky and snobby.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Of course they're not happy alone, these are men who constantly whine about the fact hundreds of women ignored their messages on dating sites. It's all the fault of women who are picky and snobby.

 

True to a certain extent. There is some merit to a great amount of women who are unresponsive. Wouldn't say "all" the woman's fault. But we can get into the whole "some but not all" thing if you want to.

[guest569]

True to a certain extent. There is some merit to a great amount of women who are unresponsive. Wouldn't say "all" the woman's fault. But we can get into the whole "some but not all" thing if you want to.

 

It's more the attitude "well these women have been on the site for ages so they should cave in and respond to my messages out of desperation" have some self respect! Who wants to be with someone who 'settled' for them out of desperation.

 

I'm probably one of those unresponsive women.. I am not going to be in a relationship just for the sake of it. "Oh he's ok, I will marry him." I'm just waiting to find someone who interests me. If I don't, its just me and my cat. Awesome!

 

I am tired of being rejected too. I can totally understand and relate to having no success, hence I have learnt to be happy and single. But I will never become bitter and blame men for my lack of success. It's either my problem, or it just isn't happening.