why do a lot of men bother women online?

[irc333]

I do have to admit that adult women who put up sexually provocative photos. I.e. cleavage shots with women pushing together their boobs with their upper arms.

 

I recall one woman having posted a pic of her in fish nets and halter top standing on her coffee table In one of "those" poses with her butt facing the camera and her arching her back. She had a few pics like this and I didn't send her any thing sexual...but I did jokingly ask, Hi, you don't work at that local gentleman's club, do you?" As she kept her occupation unnamed. I ended it with a lol....and she went off on me. Lol

 

So funny.

 

"How dare you say that! Im not a sl**t.

 

She RELLY got on the defensive. Lol

[serial muse]

You really are reaching, aren't you?

 

If you take what I say out of context, its on you, because that's not what I was saying at all. I was saying if a woman posts pictures with sexual undertones, she will receive sexual messages.

 

Why does it always have to be about who's against who? Am I not allowed to participate in conversations anymore because you'll react defensively?

 

You read what I say how you want to read it, but I say things how I want to say them. Apparently they are two very different things.

 

No, I'm not reaching. But I think it's kind of reaching to suggest that in any way I was saying you shouldn't participate in the conversation. Talk about defensive. Am I not allowed to disagree with you without you suggesting I'm telling you not to talk at all? Project much?

 

I'm suggesting to you that defending the indefensible does not mean that you are taking a stand for mankind (in the larger, non-gendered sense), nor is it noble. So, perhaps some self-evaluation is in order.

Edited November 12, 2014 by serial muse

[Do_The_Herp]

sure, wondering what leads men to harassing and bothering women makes me in need of attention, right. If you saw the terrible messages I read every hour, you wouldnt dare to walk past a man and you will feel gross as heck.

 

 

 

 

Then probably in your eyes all men who have sex are considered sleazy or sexually aggresive. Pretty sure there are not that many women reacting in a positive way to a man who writes how he wants to rape/destroy her and who wont stop bothering & insulting her. The thing I see is that they for sure like harassing women and get joy out If it. Actually I dont know why these men enjoy threating and bein aggrasive towards womeb. Thats why I am asking it.

 

But yeah according to you we women open our legs for all men who see "no, stop, leave me alone" as a challange, our lovely stalkers, harassers and creeps who we dont like but wont stop bothering us. Sure hun.

 

So just hate men, then. Even those who aren't like that.

 

Hey, like Jim Norton said, "Take any mass-shooter. The media always asks WHY they did it? Well what if one of them **** in their hand and started eating it? Would anyone ask WHY they did that? Or would they just shoot their ass before they kill anyone else?"

 

Maybe there are a lot of guys with something missing upstairs, who have lots of issues, and online dating is a primary source rather than a supplementary dating tool. You look very young, even younger than me, why not just NOT use a screen to meet people? Why not leave your house and find something to do? You're never too old to do this. Not every man is mentally unstable. A guy could just as easily wonder how many women <insert warped fantasy belief>.. I don't have to list any, surely there are plenty of men out there who believe that mostly all women believe that men are ugly evil rapists or something like that. lol

[Bumpin in My Trunk]

Some of you people are really dense. How can you say teenagers don't put provocative pictures online? I'm 20 and I still remember my highschool and middle school days. Most classmates were sexually active, whether penetration was involved or not. When I was in 11th grade, I heard rumors of this 8th grader who played sexual games with the guys on the bus ON THE WAY HOME. A year later I hear this chick got pregnant. Recently I ran into another rumor that she gave birth to another baby. This girl must be 16-17.

 

 

Another experience: When I was in the 8th grade a classmate got pregnant. The bitch even threatened to pull a knife on me but that's another story.

 

 

And as most people have posted, men or women, but mostly men, post messages like these because of anonymity or just because it is THE INTERNET. It's a sick mindset but that's just the way it is.

 

 

And I know not all women are like this, but some really enjoy both negative and positive attention from men. As an example:

A year ago my love interest decided to play games with me and another guy. One day this other guy asked for nude pics and she denied. He later insulted her and she told me all about it. She then called him a bastard and how he disappointed her. What happened? She kept in contact with him and left me for him. Don't get me wrong, most women will find that behavior disgusting but for the many that do, there are a few who love it. If men do this, it's because most men are sick in the head and some women want it. If they didn't, they would have blocked and done everything possible to avoid these men.

 

 

And specially online. There's a block button. Once I messaged some woman because she said she was looking for prince charming and Mr. Right but I explained to her she would never find him with her half naked pictures and sexually suggestive poses. She said I'm wrong and stupid and then started insulting me. What did I do? I BLOCKED her.

[Frank2thepoint]

Having said that, there are just as many normal men online who are there legitimately. Unfortunately, for many women, the task of weeding through the sh*tty prospects to find those gems has proven to be a monumental task more often than not.

 

Or the good men, such as myself, are not using OLD, but are out in the real world looking have a friendly conversation and few laughs, in attempt to make a connection with a woman.

[CrystalCastles]

You really are reaching, aren't you?

 

If you take what I say out of context, its on you, because that's not what I was saying at all. I was saying if a woman posts pictures with sexual undertones, she will receive sexual messages.

 

Why does it always have to be about who's against who? Am I not allowed to participate in conversations anymore because you'll react defensively?

 

You read what I say how you want to read it, but I say things how I want to say them. Apparently they are two very different things.

 

No. Serial muse has valid points. Pretty much every post you ever write is about how it's the woman's fault, no matter what the situation is. I've pointed this out to you many times. Some woman must have done terrible things to you for you to consistently speak of an entire gender with such hate and bitterness.

 

Op, I would suggest to you to tell your sister to limit how much she posts online. You won't be able to make perverts go away, so the best thing is to limit how much you put up online for them to comment on.

[jonsnuh]

yup on free sites, including OKcupid. And I guess it is because they are online and feel like they can say anything. But then again, someone who says such terrible things online cant be a good person. They still think those things in real but dont dare to say/do it face to face, so they do it online. Little bit scary to know though, knowing that are so many men with such hateful scary thoughts about women walking around. But I still dont geg WHY thy feel like saying such things ot even think about it. Do they like hurting women? Do they like to harass them? Is it about power or anger?

 

I'm glad that some women dislike this sort of behaviour, which confirms that the messages I send to some women may just be lost in the myriad of messages bombarding a woman's inbox. I find that this sort of behaviour may occur because:

 

1) Misogyny - be careful out there.

2) Anonymity therefore bigger e-penis/keyboard warrior syndrome.

3) There just might be some girls who are shallow to justify selecting male dates or quickie-buddies by the size of their penis or height or looks, and just want to have sex.

4) Some men may be just letting out their frustration in the wrong way, when they normally don't.

 

I can tell you about number 4. When I started out on OKC, I thought it was some miracle that cracking obscene jokes would make women laugh. Most messages received no replies (just the statistics by the sheer amount of messages she probably) got, but there were a few girls I chatted up.

 

When many of these conversations ran their course on their end, I recall getting frustrated and sending a crude joke to a girl. She replied back, and corrected me in the word usage and commented as an adult of how childish I sounded. Since that day on, I've just been who I am online without coming off sounding stupid or offensive. At the same time, I don't try to be extra polite or nice (like tipping fedoras *cringe*).

[Ruby Slippers]

He saw a woman complaining about online harassment and his kneejerk response was "what were you wearing?"

That's the first thing I think, too, because I've learned from experience that the image I project in the pictures I post is the most important factor determining how I'm treated by men online.

 

When I first did OLD, I posted a few pictures that I thought were innocent enough - a little cleavage in a V-neck top, legs in a mini-skirt, rather tame going-out clothes compared to what many women wear. And I got a lot of messages about my nice rack and getaway sticks and what men wanted to do with them. Then I switched to PG pictures of me in more modest clothing. Most of the comments went from focusing on my "sexy bod" to my "pretty eyes and smile", etc. Now even the hot players who message me do so respectfully, for the most part!

 

If a woman or girl, age 30 or 13, posts pictures of herself in outfits that are revealing, skimpy, sexual, or hooker-ish, men will take that as an invitation to make sexual comments to her, especially given the benefit of anonymity. Of course they're lame for making such comments, but the women and girls also need to consider what image they're projecting and what kind of attention they want.

 

Never in a million years would I allow my 10- or 13-year-old daughter to post pictures showing off her chest, butt, legs, etc. That's just a pedophile's dream.

[Bumpin in My Trunk]

Felt like posting this

enjoy

 

18 Tinder Messages That Went From 'PG' To 'Rated R' Really Fast! (Slightly NSFW) - Dose - Your Daily Dose of Amazing

[FitChick]

You get what you pay for. Stay off the free sites.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Why do a lot of men, young boys to old men, harass/bother women online? I have experienced it a lot in the past few years (Dating sites, social network sites) and it really got me wondering, why do they do this? Not only aggressiveness but also sexual harassment. By some of those men, I would say they feel like they are entitled to my time/body/etc, or cannot handle rejection. But would that really be the case with all those men and those very young boys?

 

The countless rape threats I got, unwanted dick pics, stalking, name calling, very disgusting sex stories or treats, unwanted sexual comments and other kinds of misogynistic behaviour and thoughts. The worst is that I always tell them to stop but they keep doing it. Also when I don't want to chat or send nude photos(as if I would send them to random guys online), I get countless treats or insults. Also "no" seems like an invitation to a lot of men to bother me even more instead of respecting that I am not interested or do not want to send nude photos.

 

Even my 13yo sister get message like "bitch send me nudes" "hey babe tits or gtfo" from boys in her grade and random older men commenting disturbing things at her instagram photos. And that is only what I have seen…… I am not sure how to protect her from that kind of stuff since I never experienced it at such young age.

 

So, why doed all this happen?

 

 

 

Wow, that was an eyeful of (education), and you so wonderfully included specific examples!

 

Years ago, when internet chatrooms were all/more the rage, it was always interesting to listen (during sincere conversation) to women tell of others who would randomly private-message them asking (immediately/directly) "What color panties are you wearing??" Back then I always sensed that a common theme among those guys (who certainly didn't have much of a knack for sincerely conversing with women, for starters) was in sensing a woman to be more comfortable with herself and her sexuality than those men expected her to be.

 

So any woman who randomly replied "purple" to the question (regardless of her actual truth) seemed to give those guys a (mostly figurative) rise.

 

 

Your examples are very good, but they would be even better if you had a number of stories and reports about what happened when you surprised them by SEEMING to be comfortable about their expressions??

 

Anyone knows that an animal who turns and runs, is likely to draw a chase... and yet you're quite sure that you don't want the chase, so that begs the obvious question...

[preraph]

Why do a lot of men, young boys to old men, harass/bother women online?

 

Because they're sick and resentful cowards who don't have the nerve to do it in person.

[TheyCallMeOx]

I don't support disrespectful behavior, but this is the internet we're talking about. The internet is a potentially bad place to be because people can be whoever or whatever they want to be online. Since there's a block feature on most websites that communicate between person to person, most people think they say whatever they want, and not really be penalized for it. If I made a sexual advance to a woman without knowing the consequences, I'd rather do it over the internet than in real life. In real life, I'd risk getting slapped in the face, publicly ridiculed, taken to court for sexual harassment, etc. But if I get rejected online, the woman either blocks me, or files for sexual harassment which might not even stick in court. Plus there's potentially more evidence (even if it may not be actual evidence) online than in real life. Online, I may know more about her sexual history and her preferred style of intercourse before I actually talk to her. I may look at her questions answered and read stuff like "likes to be submissive," "likes aggressiveness," and she might even say she's "always honest." So that would interpret, in my male brain, that she likes it rough, and likes it when a guy pursues her. She may even admit to liking "rape fantasies." The mere fact that she openly admits to be "looking for sex" maybe another contribution to why I would freely express my sexual desires. Her profile has little to do with it because the women who have provocative pictures, I don't even bother to message. The only times I have, I'd try and initiate an actual conversation, and they wouldn't bother to respond; mostly because those women are looking for 9 inch dongs, and chiseled six pack abs.

 

Of course, some guys who pursue you sexually, maybe most, don't give a **** about your personality and just freely express themselves because they can. Their mentality is that "if you don't like it, block me." If you respond with aggressive behavior, they'll just consider it foreplay. The only women who can rattle my feathers are the reaaallllllyyyy tough chicks, or the women I love. Otherwise, if it's just some 5'3" blond haired chick over the internet that likes to read Harry Potter, I'd probably just laugh at how mad they are and either play along with it, or think about how aggressive the sex would be if she was in front of me.

 

In all fairness, women can be just as disrespectful; it's both sides. There are dudes online who are genuinely looking for a relationship and do their best to initiate a conversation, but there are just A LOT of women who don't even take the time to respond AT ALL, and I think that's completely disrespectful in its own way, as well.

 

But that's the internet. Just like a woman can choose not to respond, a man choose how to pursue a woman. If you don't want to go through those kind of interactions, then I'd say your best bet is to stay off dating services, or bar scenes.

[Frank2thepoint]

Felt like posting this

enjoy

 

18 Tinder Messages That Went From 'PG' To 'Rated R' Really Fast! (Slightly NSFW) - Dose - Your Daily Dose of Amazing

 

Wow, these are funny, but very crude. What's sad is there are women that fall for those pickup lines.

[LookAtThisPOst]

 

When I first did OLD, I posted a few pictures that I thought were innocent enough - a little cleavage in a V-neck top, legs in a mini-skirt, rather tame going-out clothes compared to what many women wear. And I got a lot of messages about my nice rack and getaway sticks and what men wanted to do with them. Then I switched to PG pictures of me in more modest clothing. Most of the comments went from focusing on my "sexy bod" to my "pretty eyes and smile", etc. Now even the hot players who message me do so respectfully, for the most part!.

 

That's funny, you go from the nightclub attire, chances are the men you encountered in real life that night you took the photo were checking you out the same way the men online, but the one's online are likely going to be bolder.

 

I admit, I have been known to make an occasional remark when I see a woman taking an "above the head shot" selfie with the obvious long line of cleavage and her coy smirk looking at the camera. The remark is a bit more on the innueondish side though and thus more tasteful.

 

"Hi there, wow, I woke up to a nice eyeful this morning! How YOU doin?" (Joey Tribbiani from FRIENDS voice) lol Gotta love the post hottie Halloween costumes. ;-)

 

Of course, I see these kinds of comments a lot with my female attention seeking friends on Facebook as well, so it's mooot.

[elaine567]

I think because celebrity culture deems it necessary to show off cleavage and a$$, daily at all times of the day and night on social media as well as on MSM, then we have all become more sexualised.

 

It is now thought perfectly acceptable to post pics that before would have been thought of as racy or close to the knuckle.

 

Some women now see little wrong in posting such pics, as their role models do it, "so what is wrong with that?", and then they worry why they are only attracting comments from guys who just want sex, nasty comments, comments with deeply disturbing sexual undertones or frank rape/kill comments.

Men, feel justified in attacking such women, because whilst they are attracted sexually, they are also programmed to "hate" whores and "bitches", so out come all the horrible comments.

 

Seems the world teaches women to seek "the one", her prince, her knight in shining armour, but to do that today, she is encouraged by the media and society to show some a$$ or look like and act like a slut. but then she earns no respect from the men she wants to attract...

Something is a bit off kilter here.

Edited November 29, 2014 by elaine567
grammar

[nofeelings22]

Why do a lot of men, young boys to old men, harass/bother women online? I have experienced it a lot in the past few years (Dating sites, social network sites) and it really got me wondering, why do they do this? Not only aggressiveness but also sexual harassment. By some of those men, I would say they feel like they are entitled to my time/body/etc, or cannot handle rejection. But would that really be the case with all those men and those very young boys?

 

The countless rape threats I got, unwanted dick pics, stalking, name calling, very disgusting sex stories or treats, unwanted sexual comments and other kinds of misogynistic behaviour and thoughts. The worst is that I always tell them to stop but they keep doing it. Also when I don't want to chat or send nude photos(as if I would send them to random guys online), I get countless treats or insults. Also "no" seems like an invitation to a lot of men to bother me even more instead of respecting that I am not interested or do not want to send nude photos.

 

Even my 13yo sister get message like "bitch send me nudes" "hey babe tits or gtfo" from boys in her grade and random older men commenting disturbing things at her instagram photos. And that is only what I have seen…… I am not sure how to protect her from that kind of stuff since I never experienced it at such young age.

 

So, why doed all this happen?

 

This is a REALLY good question!

 

I think, like all weird and agressive behavior online, it's because the people have anonymity. Behind an anonymous front, they say what is (frighteningly) on their mind, without fear of social rules coming back to them.

 

The most disturbing thing is this is what these people are really thinking!!!!

[elaine567]

The most disturbing thing is this is what these people are really thinking!!!!

 

There are many disgruntled, disillusioned, hurt, upset, scared, emotionally shut down, mentally ill people out there and social media can be a way for a damaged individual to express their anger at the world and against a specific group in particular.

I would not be surprised if some of those nasty comments made towards women on social media, were not actually made by women under a fake profile.

[nofeelings22]

There are many disgruntled, disillusioned, hurt, upset, scared, emotionally shut down, mentally ill people out there and social media can be a way for a damaged individual to express their anger at the world and against a specific group in particular.

I would not be surprised if some of those nasty comments made towards women on social media, were not actually made by women under a fake profile.

 

 

 

Do people really have that much free time and patience? I can't imagine doing that. It takes forever to set up profiles. A very annoying process.

 

I speak from a stream of consciousness online and just blurt out observations and opinions, as well as full 100% truth (not a good liar). I just can't imagine the time one would have to invest in fake profiles, fabricating stories, etc...

 

Incredible, but I'm sure some people do exactly as you are describing.

[Ducky71]

If you put yourself out there, online, for the world to see, how can you NOT expect these types of responses? I'll never understand the need people feel to be seen, broadcast their lives and 'stay connected' via the 'net, and then complain when someone says something ugly.

 

 

There is ZERO accountability online, if you don't take steps to make these things 'private', then you're setting yourself up for the abuse.

[max5050]

If you put yourself out there, online, for the world to see, how can you NOT expect these types of responses? I'll never understand the need people feel to be seen, broadcast their lives and 'stay connected' via the 'net, and then complain when someone says something ugly.

 

 

There is ZERO accountability online, if you don't take steps to make these things 'private', then you're setting yourself up for the abuse.

 

They want their cake and to eat it too.

[max5050]

Why do a lot of men, young boys to old men, harass/bother women online? I have experienced it a lot in the past few years (Dating sites, social network sites) and it really got me wondering, why do they do this? Not only aggressiveness but also sexual harassment. By some of those men, I would say they feel like they are entitled to my time/body/etc, or cannot handle rejection. But would that really be the case with all those men and those very young boys?

 

The countless rape threats I got, unwanted dick pics, stalking, name calling, very disgusting sex stories or treats, unwanted sexual comments and other kinds of misogynistic behaviour and thoughts. The worst is that I always tell them to stop but they keep doing it. Also when I don't want to chat or send nude photos(as if I would send them to random guys online), I get countless treats or insults. Also "no" seems like an invitation to a lot of men to bother me even more instead of respecting that I am not interested or do not want to send nude photos.

 

Even my 13yo sister get message like "bitch send me nudes" "hey babe tits or gtfo" from boys in her grade and random older men commenting disturbing things at her instagram photos. And that is only what I have seen…… I am not sure how to protect her from that kind of stuff since I never experienced it at such young age.

 

So, why doed all this happen?

 

Your middle name is drama.