skinut2234 Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 I'm basically on the road to separation... I have an interest in a woman at work but I can never read women that well- I like her but don't know if she likes me that way.. I joked with her the other day I needed a drink and she agreed to meet for one (which we did) it was very nice and just sat and talked.... My question to the ladies is- If you had NO interest would you have gone for the drink?? in other words- would you meet a man for a drink if you didn't think there was something more?? or would you in just a plutonic sense...... Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 I have gone out to drinks with a lot of men for just platonic reasons. Doesn't mean I have any interest in them emotionally or sexually. And you are "on the road to a separation" meaning you are still married? And does this office mate know you fancy her? Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 I'm basically on the road to separation... I have an interest in a woman at work but I can never read women that well- I like her but don't know if she likes me that way.. I joked with her the other day I needed a drink and she agreed to meet for one (which we did) it was very nice and just sat and talked.... My question to the ladies is- If you had NO interest would you have gone for the drink?? in other words- would you meet a man for a drink if you didn't think there was something more?? or would you in just a plutonic sense...... Unless you're stuck in the 1970's where inviting a woman for a drink - any drink, even coffee - was assumed by many men to be code for "will you have sex with me" and interpreted by women as "would you like to go for a drink / coffee?", you'd know that women are capable of separating their digestive activities from their recreational sex activities. Going for a drink / coffee / a meal / etc means nothing per se. It simply means she doesn't find you hideous enough to put her off enjoying a drink / coffee / a meal. If you're interested in her, and are wondering if she is reciprocating the interest, ask her. She may just have felt sorry for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 I'm basically on the road to separation... I think you need to be more definitive in where you're at in your M. If you describe your situation to her the same way you did here, it's not going to get far, IMO. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinut2234 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Share Posted November 11, 2014 I agree Sub ( she is in a similar place in her marriage)- just 2 people getting together to commiserate.... Just part of me was wondering if I still "got it" - I guess that maybe there is hope..... thats all...... Some people are of the thought that if the woman says yes- she expects you to hit on her- other say the opposite..... Just interesting to see how things have changed.... Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 (edited) I don''t think there is anything wrong with going for a drink with a colleague from, say, 5 to 6:30 p.m. then again, others could say this is an example of a bad boundary, that someone with a healthy boundary would not do this unless it was a group outing, for example. In your case, it is clearly not an innocent drink because you are posting on the other woman/other man forum so I think it is pretty clear what you have in mind. You need to elaborate on "heading for a separation." You need to do this not only with your colleague but with your wife. Does she know that you are heading for a separation? Just editing to more specifically answer your question. Just because she said yes to a drink does not mean she wants anything more. If she really disliked you, she probably would have said no. But you cannot assume just because she said yes that she is into you. Edited November 11, 2014 by sunburned Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 I agree Sub ( she is in a similar place in her marriage)- just 2 people getting together to commiserate.... Just part of me was wondering if I still "got it" - I guess that maybe there is hope..... thats all...... Some people are of the thought that if the woman says yes- she expects you to hit on her- other say the opposite..... Just interesting to see how things have changed.... I don't know how accurate a read you'll get from someone who's in a "similar place" as you, as it pertains to how much you've still got it. If you really want to see if your game is still working, try it on a single woman after you've left your W/GF. Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 I am friendly I would have a drink with someone without it meaning anything.When you are available ask her if she would like to go out. Then you will know more. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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