Improving Gloria25

[Gloria25]

Like Phoe, since I'm having so much trouble in snagging a guy - even to get laid consistently, I'm gonna change the way I'm going about things.

 

1. I'm gonna stop being responsible. I'm gonna let my home go into foreclosure, bills, pile up, etc. That way some guy might wanna come and "rescue" me.

 

2. I'm gonna get pregnant. Well, I mean, guys go ga-ga over a female who just needs him to come in and "rescue" her and her illegit kids. BTW, now that I think about it, child support and government assistance programs are another incentive to have kids out of wedlock - which fits into my plan of losing my home and having to move into govt housing.

 

3. I'm gonna take half-naked pictures of myself and post on Facebook. Again, why hide my "freak flag"? I mean, I dress so modestly and try to carry myself with some dignity - that's not what men want to see. They wanna see the "goodies". They want to know you'll get on your back and do whatever it takes to get their attention. That also ties into #2 - which is to get some sex-goggled eye guy to just knock me up. But, I gotta remember that after I use these pics to "trick" him into having an encounter with me, I start coming up with excuses as to why I can't have sex, lay there like a dead fish, or show him a trick or two to get him "hooked" - then turn him off the sex till he starts sending money my way (see #1 and #2 above).

 

4. I'm gonna chase military men. You see, they have so many benefits. And, I want that dependent ID card, and/or any post-service benefits they still might be getting (see #1, #2, #3).

 

5. I'm gonna get fat. Why do I bother working out? Men like a litt'l "cushin' for the pushin". Besides, if I let my body go, they may now feel more "comfortable" about being around me. Maybe if my boooty grows into two watermelons, they might get even more turned on how much I looke skanky and/or ridiculous like Niki Minaj or Ziggy Azelea. I mean, see #3 - the trashier you are and the less you hide it, guys love it. I mean, a woman who's modest in the streets, yet a "freak" in the bed...what a turn off!!! I'm not hiding my inner skank anymore. That's what guys want.

 

6. I'm gonna stop cooking. I don't want some guy getting the wrong impression that I'm gonna nurture him. I mean, I kid you not, years ago a co-worker said she doesn't cook for her husband because 'once you start something, you're gonna have to keep on doing it'. Besides, if I can get him fat and sloppy, no other woman will look at him and/or want him.

 

7. I'm either/or gonna treat guys like dogs, play games, etc. I mean, ever hear of the book 'Why Men Love B*s?'. I realize that I've been trying to overcompensate my "independence" by trying to prove to a guy that I really am into him. So, I work to hard at it. NOT ANYMORE. I'm gonna be aloof, pretend he's not important, maybe even teach him to "sit", "give me his paw", and "beg". I mean, come on ladies, don't guys appreciate something they have to work for?

 

So, what do you guys think? I've spent my tweens till late 30's being responsible, looking out for my family, friend and community, keeping my body in shape, going to school, earning my things, never depending on a guy and/or family for a THING I have, never even gotten pregnant once and now I finally figured out I've been doing it ALL wrong.

 

I think this plan will work!!! If not, I think I'm gonna start dating women. I mean, I was looking at this Hispanic lady in my hood lately. I like her, I think. Oh, I'll make it work.

 

P.S., since I'm going through my 'monthly lady thing', right now, I might have to come back and modify this list after a few days....

Edited November 11, 2014 by Gloria25

[Mr Scorpio]

Finally. Someone who gets it. I'm about to have a can of frosting for dinner. Wanna ***k next to my dirty clothes pile?

[dichotomy]

Wait was this the list get a guy - or after you married him - cause it looks familiar to me.

[Gloria25]

Wait was this the list get a guy - or after you married him - cause it looks familiar to me.

 

Well, seeing from the data I gathered from all the successful females out there who do what I listed, it could be a toss up. I could finally end up getting thousands of men to have sex with me on the regular, a bf, sugar-daddies, baby-daddies and/or someone dumb enough to even marry me!!!

[Lernaean_Hydra]

:lmao:

 

Dear lord, I almost just dove straight into my mid-20s doing it ALL WRONG. Thank god I found your list in time! Following these easy steps I'll have trapped myself a sucker before my birthday. Thanks Gloria!

[writergal]

Gloria! I think they got your number!

 

A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, Gloria, how's it gonna go down?

Will you meet him on the main line, or will you catch him on the rebound?

Will you marry for the money, take a lover in the afternoon?

Feel your innocence slipping away, don't believe it's comin' back soon

 

 

 

(You rock woman! Now, go get 'em!)

[KatZee]

omg! samesies!

 

I'm 30 now, I've been on my own for years, my own place, my own car, great career, never been married, don't have kids, independent, two degrees, smart, funny, witty, caring, giving, attractive, fun, adventurous, spontaneous, can cook, moderately handy.... yadda yadda yadda.

 

What guy wants all of the above? NONE of them! I literally am nothing any guy wants because I can't get a guy to date me if my life actually depended on it.

 

Meanwhile I'll look around and see: the hoes, the lunatics, the cheaters, the liars, the crazy bitches, the useless, the uneducated, the drama seekers, and the attention whores... all have boyfriends. -.-

 

Clearly I've been going about it all wrong too. I'm convinced that most guys are so damaged that all they want are the crazy chicks. And then it's hilarious to me when I'll be out with a guy who will comment on the current state of "women" and how most attractive women are "a.ssholes" and that I seem like a great girl but then they won't ask me for a 2nd date. :lmao:

 

Guess us "quality" women just aren't exciting enough.

[gaius]

You could get a guy if you really wanted one Gloria. I have spurts where I'll mess around with a woman I know isn't a real option too when I'm not that into dating anyone. =/

[Woggle]

This thread reminds me of the nice guy rants. I guess men and women really do have the same problems and issues.

[KatZee]

This thread reminds me of the nice guy rants. I guess men and women really do have the same problems and issues.

 

It's not so much that I think I'm a "nice girl" and that I'm deserving of anything. I just live my life like a good, decent, successful person.

 

I'm kind of confused why that isn't "attractive" to people. And I'm even more confused why men will bitch about these horrible women and then continue to seek out these soul suckers.

 

I would never stoop to becoming a hoe, or unsuccessful, that's just stupid. I'll just sit here and watch all these schlubs marry idiots, and wait for the divorces to roll in. :lmao:

[Toodaloo]

Gloria - I finally get it...

 

...Will you marry me?

 

I have no idea what to do with a poonani but promise to read books and if you treat me like that its OK as that is what all my exes did anyway...

 

You did miss out getting a council house and living off of benefits rather than working and paying your way... Oh and can you add in a few disgustingly bad habits that make your stomach churn, like leaving a smelly poo in the toilet and not flushing? Perhaps pick your nose and leave the snot wiped on the side of the sofa and leaving "emissions" from and porn watching where they land... Just to make me feel at home you understand.

 

I can provide plenty of chocs and a few pies just to help you pile the lard on.

 

Big kisses and tampons.

 

Toodles xxx

[Eternal Sunshine]

It's not so much that I think I'm a "nice girl" and that I'm deserving of anything. I just live my life like a good, decent, successful person.

 

I'm kind of confused why that isn't "attractive" to people. And I'm even more confused why men will bitch about these horrible women and then continue to seek out these soul suckers.

 

I would never stoop to becoming a hoe, or unsuccessful, that's just stupid. I'll just sit here and watch all these schlubs marry idiots, and wait for the divorces to roll in. :lmao:

 

My friend just got engaged to a chain smoking, clubbing, 30 something stripper. He constantly complains that she is using him for money, yet he ignored plenty of nice, pretty women that had their lives together and dismissed them as boring. Go figure.

[Gloria25]

My friend just got engaged to a chain smoking, clubbing, 30 something stripper. He constantly complains that she is using him for money, yet he ignored plenty of nice, pretty women that had their lives together and dismissed them as boring. Go figure.

 

Exactly ^^ you see, more data to prove that I've been doing it wrong all these years!!!

[Gloria25]

 

I would never stoop to becoming a hoe, or unsuccessful, that's just stupid. I'll just sit here and watch all these schlubs marry idiots, and wait for the divorces to roll in. :lmao:

 

Oh dear, lemme tell you...don't think you're gonna be the ray of light for these divorced guys...they gravitate to the same thing that got them in that place in the first place.

 

AND,

 

That is why I recommend you consider my self-improvement strategy here. There's data to show proven results!!!

[Woggle]

We need to start a female nice girl rant thread because this is quickly going to become derailed. Switch the genders around and this sounds exactly like the tons of posts made by men on this forum.

[KatZee]

Oh dear, lemme tell you...don't think you're gonna be the ray of light for these divorced guys...they gravitate to the same thing that got them in that place in the first place.

 

AND,

 

That is why I recommend you consider my self-improvement strategy here. There's data to show proven results!!!

 

Oh honey, I don't think I said anywhere that I want to be a ray of sunshine for divorced guys.

 

I have zero interest in divorced men. I don't need that baggage or drama. I just find these relationships and subsequent obvious fallout's hilarious.

[Radu]

How is your alcohol, drugs and STD history.

 

You need to do this right !!!

[Gloria25]

How is your alcohol, drugs and STD history.

 

You need to do this right !!!

 

Thanks, I'll add these when I make the next revision on the list!!!

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Like Phoe, since I'm having so much trouble in snagging a guy - even to get laid consistently, I'm gonna change the way I'm going about things.

 

1. I'm gonna stop being responsible. I'm gonna let my home go into foreclosure, bills, pile up, etc. That way some guy might wanna come and "rescue" me.

 

2. I'm gonna get pregnant. Well, I mean, guys go ga-ga over a female who just needs him to come in and "rescue" her and her illegit kids. BTW, now that I think about it, child support and government assistance programs are another incentive to have kids out of wedlock - which fits into my plan of losing my home and having to move into govt housing.

 

3. I'm gonna take half-naked pictures of myself and post on Facebook. Again, why hide my "freak flag"? I mean, I dress so modestly and try to carry myself with some dignity - that's not what men want to see. They wanna see the "goodies". They want to know you'll get on your back and do whatever it takes to get their attention. That also ties into #2 - which is to get some sex-goggled eye guy to just knock me up. But, I gotta remember that after I use these pics to "trick" him into having an encounter with me, I start coming up with excuses as to why I can't have sex, lay there like a dead fish, or show him a trick or two to get him "hooked" - then turn him off the sex till he starts sending money my way (see #1 and #2 above).

 

4. I'm gonna chase military men. You see, they have so many benefits. And, I want that dependent ID card, and/or any post-service benefits they still might be getting (see #1, #2, #3).

 

5. I'm gonna get fat. Why do I bother working out? Men like a litt'l "cushin' for the pushin". Besides, if I let my body go, they may now feel more "comfortable" about being around me. Maybe if my boooty grows into two watermelons, they might get even more turned on how much I looke skanky and/or ridiculous like Niki Minaj or Ziggy Azelea. I mean, see #3 - the trashier you are and the less you hide it, guys love it. I mean, a woman who's modest in the streets, yet a "freak" in the bed...what a turn off!!! I'm not hiding my inner skank anymore. That's what guys want.

 

6. I'm gonna stop cooking. I don't want some guy getting the wrong impression that I'm gonna nurture him. I mean, I kid you not, years ago a co-worker said she doesn't cook for her husband because 'once you start something, you're gonna have to keep on doing it'. Besides, if I can get him fat and sloppy, no other woman will look at him and/or want him.

 

7. I'm either/or gonna treat guys like dogs, play games, etc. I mean, ever hear of the book 'Why Men Love B*s?'. I realize that I've been trying to overcompensate my "independence" by trying to prove to a guy that I really am into him. So, I work to hard at it. NOT ANYMORE. I'm gonna be aloof, pretend he's not important, maybe even teach him to "sit", "give me his paw", and "beg". I mean, come on ladies, don't guys appreciate something they have to work for?

 

So, what do you guys think? I've spent my tweens till late 30's being responsible, looking out for my family, friend and community, keeping my body in shape, going to school, earning my things, never depending on a guy and/or family for a THING I have, never even gotten pregnant once and now I finally figured out I've been doing it ALL wrong.

 

I think this plan will work!!! If not, I think I'm gonna start dating women. I mean, I was looking at this Hispanic lady in my hood lately. I like her, I think. Oh, I'll make it work.

 

P.S., since I'm going through my 'monthly lady thing', right now, I might have to come back and modify this list after a few days....

 

I'm gonna quote this before your monthly due ends,

I find this ****ing hilarious, you seem to have spotted the trend.

The truth be told, through a woman's point of view,

But I do agree with the others that men share the sentiment too!

[GemmaUK]

Hahahahahahaha!!!!

 

 

Funniest thread ever Gloria!

 

 

You need to add a few more things to your list - don't be intelligent and don't have a sense of humour! *grins*

[Radu]

You might want to stock up on water peroxide, platinum blond doesn't just grow on heads you know ...

[Gloria25]

You might want to stock up on water peroxide, platinum blond doesn't just grow on heads you know ...

 

Not sure sure about that one, brunettes seem to be pulling it off too...

[letmoc]

Maybe it's your personality.

[Gloria25]

Maybe it's your personality.

 

You're right...I don't have the ice in my veins required to be a manipulative loser.